The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

De: Grady Hendrix

Narrado por: Bahni Turpin

Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias meet Dracula in this Southern-flavored supernatural thriller set in the '90s about a women's book club that must protect its suburban community from a mysterious and handsome stranger who turns out to be a real monster.

Patricia Campbell's life has never felt smaller. Her ambitious husband is too busy to give her a goodbye kiss in the morning, her kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she's always a step behind on thank-you notes and her endless list of chores. The one thing she has to look forward to is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime and paperback fiction. At these meetings they're as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood gossip.

This predictable pattern is upended when Patricia meets James Harris, a handsome stranger who moves into the neighborhood to take care of his elderly aunt and ends up joining the book club. James is sensitive and well-read, and he makes Patricia feel things she hasn't felt in 20 years. But there's something off about him. He doesn't have a bank account, he doesn't like going out during the day, and Patricia's mother-in-law insists that she knew him when she was a girl, an impossibility.

When local children go missing, Patricia and the book club members start to suspect James is more of a Bundy than a Beatnik, but no one outside of the book club believes them. Have they read too many true crime books, or have they invited a real monster into their homes?

©2020 Grady Hendrix (P)2020 Blackstone Publishing

I mean...

Concept is great, and at the beginning the humor is too. Sort of Fannie Flagg meets Christopher Moore. I wanted to love this book. But the characters are so limp, so infuriatingly naive and precious, as well as latently racist, privileged and sheltered. Except for Mrs. Green there is not one woman in here I'd have anything to do with. They make one bad decision after another, all for the sake of being ladies and good wives, and appearing Christian. They whine continually, and they refuse to see what's in front of their faces. They're cowards, and they only do what needs to be done when, after watching harm come to those around them, they themselves are in danger. The book could have been saved if, after they've taken care of James Harris, any of them, besides Patricia, woke up, found her strength, and divorced (or killed-- fun!) their cheating, bible-thumping, abusive, clownish husbands. They don't. They just go back to being acceptable southern wives. Gag.

It also needs a good editor. There are way too many long winded descriptions of the times between which ANYTHING happens. I know people do dishes and clean carpets and wash curtains...do we need to hear all about it? Do we need long conversations where literally NOTHING is accomplished or solved? A loooooong section of the main character being bossed by her husband, and being prescribed drugs by him in order to get her already lame & weak personality back into a even more controlled state; rather than saying no, she just chooses to overdose. With her kid in the house. Get that? The only time in the book she shows any kind of strength is a ridiculous, passive aggressive move to end her life and "show" her husband. And why is Blue's (her son) fascination with Nazi's so overly discussed if it was going to pan out to nothing? The book never solves that issue or uses it in any way. It was just more excruciatingly belabored detail we didn't need. I would like to have seen that used, smacked down, explained....whatever. Zzzzzzz...
The author also reeeeeeeeaaally likes to describe in detail womens' pubic areas. Old ladies, teenagers, middle-aged book club characters, no one is out of bounds. I don't want to cast aspersions on the author, but clearly he is a HE, and these passages must have been borrowed fromthejournal he kept as a teenager...? God, I hope so.

The woman who performs this, though, Bahni Turpin...she's amazing. She nails a lot of accents in a short space, and is passing with the rest. She carries it and is the only reason I kept listening. The stars I give belong to her.

All in all, I imagine this is going to be a popular book...in my experience this kind of non-thinking, women-are-weak offal is usually adored and slobbered over. But it definitely did not live up to its potential. It was a waste of more time than I should have given it.

Southern ladies culture Spot on!

My daughter talked me into this book. Vampire books or movies just isn’t my jam. But she convinced me & I absolutely couldn’t put it down. The lady that did the narration was fabulous and just greatly entertained me. She was as good as the story! I highly recommend this book!
Teresa

This is why I Listen to Audiobooks

I don’t like vampires. I’ve never understood the appeal. But I will listen to anything by Grady Hendrix and Iʻm glad I listened to this one.

Bahni Turpin is just an absolutely fantastic narrator. She really understands Hendrix’s drama and humor, and brings his characters to life the way they deserve. What sets Grady Hendrix apart from most horror writers is the time and care he spends building his characters before delving into the weird and gory. He creates relatable characters thrust into unrelatable situations, and Turpin is adept at balancing the dichotomy of the two.

Beware of the horror scenes...

I’ll start by saying I loved her writing style. But this is a horror genre and my book club picked it because it had the same kind of “funky title” and as “the Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society.”
To be clear, those two books couldn’t be more dissimilar! :)
This book is well written, the pace kept me invested, the characters were believable - and the reference to old favorites that they read for their books club(s) was delightfully nostalgic for me.
The gross scenes were Stephen King level gross, so without noting any spoilers, it’s got some pretty intense scenes.
Enjoy?

Entertaining easy read for spooky season

Perfect easy entertaining read and I love Bahni Turpin’s narration. It has bits of horror, racism, feminism, and comedy. She also narrates Fried Green Tomatoes and was a perfect fit for that.

exceptional narration and an excellent story

amazing narrator and the story is amazing. The author is great at having a functional group of realistic characters.

Not Great, Not Terrible

First off.. The woman reading this book was AWFUL. Do you know what the difference between ( , ) and ( . ) is?! JEEZUS. Talk about ridiculous! The fake Southern accent was as bad as the real thing.

Secondly the main characters family was sh!t, if the fckn Vampire didn't kill them all I was about ready for her to SNAP and kill them all herself, which ultimately would have made this a better story in the long run 😂 there was no major twists or anything jaw dropping but it also wasn't as child rapey as some of the 'commenting Karens' would have you believe. There is rape, but its not incredibly descriptive and its a brief detail.. Honestly its not worse than anything you'd read by Anne Rice.. Compared to her books this is PG.

This book just wasn't special, it was nice to help pass some time but I'm not blown away by it and it could have been way darker.

Fun Read especially if you have a great bookclub

Very entertaining story. I love my bookclub and I love vampires so the story had me by the title alone, but overall it had great character development, you really fall in love with all the characters. Besides a fun story line,
the audible performance was top notch!

Wow!

This book was everything I look for in a good horror read! It was as hilariously funny as it was epically gory and horrific! The performance was also amazing! Loved listing to this one and would highly recommend!

A Must Read

This book will have you on the edge of your seat-wonderfully written. Full of suspense and imagination! Loved it!