The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families

By: Elisabeth Sheff

Narrated by: Johanna Oosterwyk

Marriage and monogamy are not what they used to be, and today many couples are opting to start families before getting married, or deciding not to get married at all. At the same time, gay couples in states that recognize same-sex marriage are getting married in droves. Some people prefer non-monogamy and have relationships that include swinging and polyamory. The landscape of American marriage and relationships is changing, and a variety of family systems are developing and becoming more common.

The Polyamorists Next Door introduces polyamorous families, in which people are free to pursue emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time. They do it openly and with support from their partners, sometimes forming multi-partner relationships or other arrangements that allow for emotional and sexual freedom within the family system.

In colorful and moving details, this audiobook explores how polyamorous relationships come to be, how they grow and change, how they manage the ins and outs of daily family life, and how they cope with the challenges they face both within their families and from society. Using polyamorists own words, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff examines polyamorous households and reveals their advantages, disadvantages, and the daily lives of those living in them.

While polyamorous families are increasingly common, fairly little is known about them outside of their own social circles or of the occasional media sensationalism. This book provides information that will be useful for professionals with polyamorous clients, educators who wish to understand or teach polyamory, and especially people who wish to better understand polyamory themselves or explain it to their potential partners, adult children, or in-laws.

©2014 Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc. (P)2015 Redwood Audiobooks

Critic reviews

" The Polyamorists Next Door is an amazingly comprehensive book.... Poly or mono, you'll find successful ways to navigate relationships interspersed in this fascinating read. I particularly loved Elisabeth Sheff's personal story for its unabashed frankness." (Allena Gabosch, Executive Director of the Center and Foundation for Sex Positive Culture)

"This book is a rich resource packed with fascinating portraits of people living, loving, and learning in nontraditional relationships. It gives us a window into worlds previously hidden and unknown which is invaluable to both scholars and the general public. (Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships)

Gives insight into the PolyFamily

I found much of the research presented correlated with other published polyamorous books. Unique here was the emphasis on poly families, parenting, and children. A worthy read for anyone interested in pursuing polyamory while also maintaining a healthy family that includes children.

Very Thorough

I truly enjoyed Dr. Sheff's compilation of research and interviews about different Polyamorous dynamics. I found her familial research to be the most thorough of any Polyamory books that I've read so far.

Good research, mediocre book

I’m happy that Sheff is doing sociological research on an understudied population, and I think she does a great job with her methods and interviews. The book, however, is somewhat uninspired. The first section, which tries to explain what polyamory is, was so concerned with normalizing it for a monogamous audience that it failed to capture the excitement that the polyamory community feels about the radical possibilities of this relationship model. I skipped ahead to the portion that was more interview-heavy and was happy with that, since it really is cool to hear people’s words reproduced in print. The book also suffers from quite a lot of grammatical and stylistic errors that should have been cleaned up during revision and copy editing. Hindering the experience further, the narrator is extremely dry, with an affect that could easily be confused with Siri. Not sad I read it, though! It’s worthwhile if you’re a sociology nerd like me.

Narrator is too dry

I honestly don't know about the content - it may be great - because I couldn't get past the very stilted narration. Ms. Oosterwyk's voice lacked inflection; it sounded as though she were simply reading something and just wanted to be done with it.

Wish there were more like this

This is the only book I've found on this subject which attempts to be objective and inclusive. Still, it only scratches the surface in it's review of a very diverse group of people living in a variety of non- traditional, non-monogamous familial arrangements. It does not consider at all polyfidelitous families, although somethings could be inferred. I hope the author continues her research and continues to publish.