The MisreadBible: Genesis

By: J. R. Eldridge

Narrated by: Joshua Saxon

A collection of twisted Bible tales from the warped mind of J. R. Eldridge, brought to life by the mellifluous voice of Joshua Saxon.

Embark on a journey from the creation of the universe to the arrival of the Israelites in Egypt in this blasphemously funny retelling of the Book of Genesis.

A lonely deity creates the Earth in his mother’s basement and makes a little clay man who falls in love with his own rib. After the humans engage in some freaky angel sex, God decides to flood the entire world, saving only a drunkard called Noah and his family.

Once the humans have repopulated the Earth, God chooses one man called Abram, drags him from his home in the middle of the night, changes his name, and then tells him to kill his son, forming an everlasting covenant with him and his descendants.

Later, Jacob steals his brother’s birthmark, boinks his cousins, and comes up with an innovative way to breed sheep. He fathers a dozen kids including Joseph, whose brothers get tired of his dreams of grandeur and sell him to some shapeshifting Ishmaelites who take him to Egypt.

©2019 J. R. Eldridge (P)2019 J. R. Eldridge

HYSTERICAL

From start to finish - the Bible as it should be told. From the stylings of Monty Python meets Douglas Adams, and done with the many voice talents of Joshua Saxon - who...as GOD, gives you an angry Leprechaun....and it works on so many levels! I had to stop and start because I couldn't stop laughing throughout. From start to glorious ending, quite the twisted tale of the Book of Genesis. I cannot wait to hear the sequel~!

An absolute panic!

This book is funny! The author is obviously quite familiar with the book of Genesis. Anybody that believes that the bible is the literal word of the almighty should stay far away from this audio book. For the rest of us, this version is breath of fresh air. It's sarcastic, insightful, and a panic to listen to. Joshua Saxon does a first class job with the narration. His delivery is perfect.

I am eagerly looking forward to Exodus! I can just imagine what J. R. Eldridge is going to do with Moses, Pharaoh, the 10 Plagues and the Golden Calf!

I was given a free review copy of the audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

Strange, blasphemous, hilarious.

First I will cover what this book is not...It is NOT politically correct. It is NOT for the devoutly religious. It is NOT for the easily offended. If any of these describe you, just stop right here and avoid this book. But if these descriptions pique your interest, then this might just be the book for you. And as blasphemous and sacrilegious as this book is, I would not be at all surprised if it led many of its readers/listeners directly to the Bible, if only to discover the source material for the stories and to investigate what parts come from Eldridge's warped mind and what parts are actually from the Bible.

If you are not easily offended, then there is a good chance you will find this book hilarious.

The narration is absolutely perfect, with Saxon giving just the right amount of snark to the text. I can't imagine any other narrator doing a better job with this.

I was given a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review, which I have voluntarily left here. There was no smiting involved.

Wicked

Far more entertaining than anything I heard in chruch. Highly recommended. Blasphemy at it's finest.

Don't pass this one up!

The author gave me an audio copy to review.

I really enjoyed this book. I laughed so hard at the part where Abraham was ninjaing dudes foreskins off that I almost wrecked while driving. So you may not want to listen to the audio book while driving.

This is really well done. The narrator of the audio book is amazing.

Excellent

This is a sometimes brutally honest, sometimes cleverly sarcastic retelling of the book of Genesis.
This author playfully recounts all the plot twists, name changes, inconsistencies, and impossible time shifts with irreverent humor.
I haven't been this entertained by an audiobook in a very long time.
The narrator captures the tine perfectly, and us excellent.
I am impatiently waiting on Exodus.

A significant bit more adult than I expected

Many parts were hilarious. Many parts were close to explicit. The earlier chapters were better and I loved the bits with Noah's ark.

I was given a free review copy audiobook at my request by the author and have voluntarily left this review.

The true sense of Genesis

(As posted in GoodReads)
And entertaining view of what Genesis REALLY says! More honest for the general population than the actual words in Genesis having been translated from the original several times in an attempt to convince the world that it's more than a myth :-)

Hilarious retelling...must listen!

The MisreadBible: Genesis by J. R. Eldridge and narrated by Joshua Saxon is just what I needed to LMFAO today! Highly recommend if you are needing a laugh/having a bad day or looking for something new.

This is an amusing retelling of bible stories with an adult twist. There’s plenty of variety- a Star Wars themed fable, a Dr. Seuss-ish tale, and so on. Some of the stories include; how God made the world, the making of day/night/seasons, where the saying “Are we there yet?” came from, and plenty more.

Some examples of what you will hear (very small list, but hopefully this will give you a general idea): Two sons were born to eyebrow, Jock itch is the father of…, sea monkeys, marinade is the father of pesto/ketchup/hollandaise/etc., Isaac was playing smush the oyster with Rebekah, Isaac named the well Rehoboth meaning thank F for that, and many more.

The table of nicknames was one of my favorites, although it’s extremely difficult to pick favorites because they all held my interest and made me chuckle. I haven’t laughed this hard from a book since Succubus Christmas Special: A LitRPG Short Story. My favorite line was: “Because this is the bible and it’s always the women’s fault.”

The narrator, Joshua Saxton, did an excellent job. I would listen to him again.

If you are religious and can tolerate some joshing around, give this book a shot. If you are religious and cannot take any joking about the bible, stay clear.

I hope this is not the last we hear from this author. This will be a repeat listen for sure.

*I was given a free review copy of the audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. Thank you for allowing me to listen and review the book!

Parental guidance/trigger warnings: swearing off and on throughout (f, s), talk about incest & rape, and religion.

So much Godly Fun!!

First, this is not for children (language) nor is it for those without a sense of humor (maybe a little bit sacrilegious).

I've read the bible (KJV) several times in my lifetime. Never have I read anything bible related that was this fun. I put this audiobook on as I was washing dishes. I was laughing so hard that no other housework was finished. I had to listen to the 4 hours worth of audiobook. Now, the bible makes much more sense. ;)

Not quite as random as a Monty Python skit, this is definitely as funny. The narrator, Joshua Saxon, was the perfect choice to reading this but I'm not sure how he got through the reading without laughing. I would love to listen to another collaboration of Eldridge and Saxon.




I was given a free review copy audiobook at my request by the author and have voluntarily left this review.