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Publisher's Summary

A great "philosopher" once said, "Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color nine." But the fact is, men can understand women to their great benefit. All they need is the right teacher. And, arguably, there is no better teacher than John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned relationships researcher and author of the best-selling 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work.

His new book, written with wife Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist; Doug Abrams; and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is based on 40 years of scientific study, much of it gleaned from the Gottmans' popular couples' workshops and the "love lab" at the University of Washington. It's written primarily for men because new research suggests that it is the man in a relationship who wields the most influence to make it great or screw it up beyond repair.

The Man's Guide to Women offers the science-based answers to the question: What do women really want in men? The book explains the hallmarks of manhood that most women find attractive and helps men hone those skills to be the men women desire.

©2016 John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: Erotica

What listeners say about The Man's Guide to Women

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Great advice from the Love Lab again

If you want to develop your communication methods and create a stronger relationship, then this is an excellent choice. The term Zero and Hero are used often, and I like to think you might as well sum it up as how not to be an asshat. I was raised mostly by women and thought I had a decent grasp. This book tied together a lot of parts and pieces of the right things and behaviors floating about in my brain.

Even if you're in a good relationship you can still gain from the insights held within.

30 people found this helpful

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Is there a "woman's guide to men"?

I thought the book was incredibly insightful but after listening to it I feel waited down with an overwhelming job that can never be met. I've made uneducated attempts to accomplish these things with two prior marriages but feel that just like this book describes all time, services, resources go from men to women I would like to hear if there's some sort of balance. It also seemed to me that the more I tried to provide these suggested tasks the higher the requirement became until there was nothing left of me except a spineless man surveying an endlessly demanding woman until I needed to escape to have any vestige of a life of my own where I had some control of my time, my resources, and my own goals.

25 people found this helpful

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A book for women not so much for men.

What would have made The Man's Guide to Women better?

Instead of just focusing on explaining the woman which apparently can and can't be explained because sometimes alle women are the same and some times all women are completely different.

Would you ever listen to anything by the authors again?

Possibly.

What three words best describe Eric Michael Summerer’s performance?

He did a good job of sounding condescending to men

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Annoyance at being spoken down too most of the time. I found my self say yes, but stop talking to me like I am some sort of Neanderthal

Any additional comments?

This is a book for a self congratulating woman who like to be spoken of in the third person. I regret buying this book I got very little value out of it. The beginning was good I didn't mind what I thought was sarcasm, but as it continued on it got weary. After the way, way to short part about crazy women the book just went all in on women are wonderful no matter what. It did not make me understand women better. Rather it was a bucket list of behavior I should and should not do.

25 people found this helpful

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We Want to Be Heroes For Our Wives

This book was a-mazing! As men, we are expected to know how to love women correctly for life but that is impossible,in my opinion, without some serious help. How can we understand women when they are so different? I think many men learn trial by fire and by failing and not understanding why or what went wrong. This book allows us to be heroes by studying up, reading up versus giving up and has practical steps to make us more empowered in relationships. Who really wants to fail in love?

This book will help men (us) to get it right or as close to right as possible. I will recommend this guide to every male friend, relative, mentee and even future sons-in-law so they have a proven guide to make their wives happy. Thank you Gottmans and Abrams!

18 people found this helpful

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ok book. not for longer married couples

first chapters give ok info. more for early in relationships not longer term married couples

17 people found this helpful

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Invaluable

Gottman is on his game with this one. It's not about what men do wrong, or about being ashamed of shortcomings- it's about reconciling differences and learning to be together. If you want a healthy relationship, if you want to know how healthy women operate, listen to this book for a guideline.

16 people found this helpful

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Not for Veterans

This book has great advice, but seems to be written with an audience in mind of those in the initial stages o my a relationship. I have been married for 7 years, though this was helpful, it was not intended for me.

16 people found this helpful

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Wouldn't recommend this book to my three son's.

This book would have been recommended 4 or 5 decades ago. But with all the changes to our society, I can't and won't recommend this book to any young man. I heard in this book, how men need to step up, but I see no part of society asking women to do their part. Of all the young couples I see around me, I see the men carrying most of the load. Women are filling for divorce most of the time, and with no spousal infidelity, abuse. And where are the authors telling women they need to step up. There's not. Just crickets. If you want to train your boys to be there woman's emotional diaper give them this book. Just to let you know I have a daughter that means the world to me.

14 people found this helpful

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Not on the right track

Supplicating to woman won’t work. Work on yourself and strive for excellence. Make yourself your point of reference and take the ones you love with you.

14 people found this helpful

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This is the definitive guide to women

This is the best book a man can read right up there next to the Bible.
I say that, but even homosexual relationships could benefit from the knowledge herein.
This is hands down a must read for any man seeking a partner. I've read multiple other relationship books and even books on how to be a player and get laid bla bla bla. This trumps em all.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Trailerfitters Toolbox
  • 11-15-19

There Is Nothing In This Book To Help Men.

This to me had some very critical flaws to the underlying information. It is a Walt Disney fairy tale. If men are dependable, which men really generally are, and if they listen to their partner, all will be fine.

There is an elephant in the room regarding dependable men who have done the right thing yet end up divorced raped. There is no solution presented in this in this book for men who've the right thing. Being Dependable and trustworthy but why will she try to walk all over you? No answer.

There are no negatives about women nor is this a balanced perspective. We need to know about hypergamy, we need to know why partners go and have affairs. We need to hear about power imbalances in a relationship. As men we need to know the truth about why there are so many single women out there. This is not the right book to explain it.

There are no saving graces. It's all about her and how you can put her on a pedestal. This is the wrong mentality in the first place.

I Didn't like the book or its approach. The science claims are patchy and in my opinion, one sided.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-27-16

A good investment...

Except for perhaps one or two tips, and that it's worded like all the change or responsibility is for the man, this book is probably the best I've read (heard - thanks audible) and has many lessons. I'm sure I'll play it through a few times.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Ras
  • 02-12-18

brilliantly clear and informative

This book is written by academics but it is written in an entertaining non-academic manner. However, it is still highly informative and dependable on scientific knowledge based on evolutionary theory. Its coverage is great and it reads very well. I would definitely recommended this book to any man who wants to increase his understanding of women in a solid, reliable way.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Rav pal
  • 07-10-17

incorrect information

The 'advice' given here is incorrect to my experience. Trying to hard be politically correct, probably written by someone who doesnt get sex.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Ducarta
  • 01-05-21

My Eyes Have Been Opened!

This is the book I wish I had in my teens. Would have saved me a lot of mistakes but I'm glad I found it because it's never too late to learn!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Phillip
  • 12-17-20

Brilliant from start to finish

Such a brilliant book, I learned so much, must listen for both men and women, amazingly narrated by Eric Michael Summerer :)

1 person found this helpful

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  • Andrew Heatlie
  • 04-25-22

Helpful hints for men!

This book is full of usefulness for men about that most complex conundrum; women! Their needs, their desires, their dreams. Invaluable!

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  • Harry
  • 04-21-22

patronising to men

a lot of the psychology seems fine but the author talks about men like they are stupid beast that are hopelessly lost and can't take care of themselves without a woman to do it for them

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  • Mr. M. J. Llewellyn
  • 12-12-21

Compulsory reading

Addictive, educational, humerous & surprising.
A must in your library! Addictive, educational, humerous & surprising.
A must in your library!

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  • s
  • 08-12-21

Good points and bad

great points here but it really doesn't do enough to empower men. Where is the boundary men need? what about dealing with difficult, BDP etc women. At points it shames men calling them stupid.

Also the agenda is very biased to keep men monogamous, co-dependent. time to work on the new conscious man

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  • Tim
  • 06-19-16

recommend

Good insight with no egotistical undertone like other books I've read. I would recommed to both qlued up and clueless men. There is both priceless nuggets of information and reassurance of what you'll already know

6 people found this helpful

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  • mark sugden
  • 02-07-18

quite brilliant

this is what I needed 40 years ago thank god I've got it now great book

4 people found this helpful

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  • AE
  • 03-01-21

Loved the advice, not the worldview

This book did a great job of answering the question it proposes to answer, that is it tells what women really want. It is informative, well written and well performed. I especially appreciated the scientific information and the research articles referenced.

I did not appreciate the worldview of evolutionary biology mostly because it made me (as a woman) feel like a labeled cross-section diagram or a bunch of equations and involuntary responses rather than a unique and created being, cherished by God and with eternal value. But I guess I can’t expect a science book to have a Judeo-Christian worldview and aside from that I enjoyed the book and found it very informative and helpful!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Edward Simberg
  • 02-05-20

Fun and educational

I really liked the fun, humorous tone. Most other books on dating and relationships are just dead serious.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Luke
  • 06-30-21

Pretty smug book in need of an update

There’s one good tip in this book, which is ‘when triggered, say you need a little time to calm down, go and take your mind off the issue, then come back when calmer to discus the matter.’ The rest of the book is pretty much man bashing and it just makes relationships sound like totally exhausting enterprises in woman worship.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-08-21

recommend this to all my mates, 100% relatable and

great book, I will recommend this to all my friends and already also thinking about listening to it again haha

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-23-21

if your an incel this is the book for you.

If your an incel this will probably suit you well. if not? don't waste your token on this book.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Marius
  • 08-26-22

The book every man should read!

I loved it! please do yourself a favour and read this book! my only regret is that I didn't discover this book earlier

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-21-22

Excellent, helpful and funny insights into WOMEN

Smashed this one out in under a day - spellbound. Love the simplicity, repetition and repetition that I need to drive the point home. A lot of overlap with Gottman's "How to build trust" but more engaging and humorous which appeal to me. Definitely for men like me - I'll be revisiting this one regularly.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-21-22

Every male should read The Man's Guide to Women.

If men were to read , listen to this book it would make women's lives so much easier. Women would feel better, therefore men would feel better. None of it is rocket science.

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