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Publisher's Summary

A great "philosopher" once said, "Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color nine." But the fact is, men can understand women to their great benefit. All they need is the right teacher. And, arguably, there is no better teacher than John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned relationships researcher and author of the best-selling 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work.

His new book, written with wife Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist; Doug Abrams; and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is based on 40 years of scientific study, much of it gleaned from the Gottmans' popular couples' workshops and the "love lab" at the University of Washington. It's written primarily for men because new research suggests that it is the man in a relationship who wields the most influence to make it great or screw it up beyond repair.

The Man's Guide to Women offers the science-based answers to the question: What do women really want in men? The book explains the hallmarks of manhood that most women find attractive and helps men hone those skills to be the men women desire.

©2016 John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about The Man's Guide to Women

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Great advice from the Love Lab again

If you want to develop your communication methods and create a stronger relationship, then this is an excellent choice. The term Zero and Hero are used often, and I like to think you might as well sum it up as how not to be an asshat. I was raised mostly by women and thought I had a decent grasp. This book tied together a lot of parts and pieces of the right things and behaviors floating about in my brain.

Even if you're in a good relationship you can still gain from the insights held within.

22 people found this helpful

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Invaluable

Gottman is on his game with this one. It's not about what men do wrong, or about being ashamed of shortcomings- it's about reconciling differences and learning to be together. If you want a healthy relationship, if you want to know how healthy women operate, listen to this book for a guideline.

12 people found this helpful

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We Want to Be Heroes For Our Wives

This book was a-mazing! As men, we are expected to know how to love women correctly for life but that is impossible,in my opinion, without some serious help. How can we understand women when they are so different? I think many men learn trial by fire and by failing and not understanding why or what went wrong. This book allows us to be heroes by studying up, reading up versus giving up and has practical steps to make us more empowered in relationships. Who really wants to fail in love?

This book will help men (us) to get it right or as close to right as possible. I will recommend this guide to every male friend, relative, mentee and even future sons-in-law so they have a proven guide to make their wives happy. Thank you Gottmans and Abrams!

15 people found this helpful

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ok book. not for longer married couples

first chapters give ok info. more for early in relationships not longer term married couples

14 people found this helpful

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This is the definitive guide to women

This is the best book a man can read right up there next to the Bible.
I say that, but even homosexual relationships could benefit from the knowledge herein.
This is hands down a must read for any man seeking a partner. I've read multiple other relationship books and even books on how to be a player and get laid bla bla bla. This trumps em all.

5 people found this helpful

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Not on the right track

Supplicating to woman won’t work. Work on yourself and strive for excellence. Make yourself your point of reference and take the ones you love with you.

4 people found this helpful

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should be mandatory

if you love a woman, get this book. ATTUNE works immediately. there are some assumptions steeped in traditional role definitions at the end, toward the sexuality section. these may or may not apply to your relationship. either way, the content and the concept are worth a listen.

9 people found this helpful

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Totally relevant information

I felt like this book was written for me. Every chapter has value. Be sure to bookmark!

3 people found this helpful

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Not for Veterans

This book has great advice, but seems to be written with an audience in mind of those in the initial stages o my a relationship. I have been married for 7 years, though this was helpful, it was not intended for me.

12 people found this helpful

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Better than expected

While i expected a cheap american style book about relationships, ehat i got was way more.
The book is full of usefull facts and stories that any person in relationship can relate to, and even better, react to and implement.
The cheesy amerincan style is still a thing to dea with when listening, but it is an overall good book!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-27-16

A good investment...

Except for perhaps one or two tips, and that it's worded like all the change or responsibility is for the man, this book is probably the best I've read (heard - thanks audible) and has many lessons. I'm sure I'll play it through a few times.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Trailerfitters Toolbox
  • 11-15-19

There Is Nothing In This Book To Help Men.

This to me had some very critical flaws to the underlying information. It is a Walt Disney fairy tale. If men are dependable, which men really generally are, and if they listen to their partner, all will be fine.

There is an elephant in the room regarding dependable men who have done the right thing yet end up divorced raped. There is no solution presented in this in this book for men who've the right thing. Being Dependable and trustworthy but why will she try to walk all over you? No answer.

There are no negatives about women nor is this a balanced perspective. We need to know about hypergamy, we need to know why partners go and have affairs. We need to hear about power imbalances in a relationship. As men we need to know the truth about why there are so many single women out there. This is not the right book to explain it.

There are no saving graces. It's all about her and how you can put her on a pedestal. This is the wrong mentality in the first place.

I Didn't like the book or its approach. The science claims are patchy and in my opinion, one sided.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Ras
  • 02-12-18

brilliantly clear and informative

This book is written by academics but it is written in an entertaining non-academic manner. However, it is still highly informative and dependable on scientific knowledge based on evolutionary theory. Its coverage is great and it reads very well. I would definitely recommended this book to any man who wants to increase his understanding of women in a solid, reliable way.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-19-21

A woman's review...


This should be part of the national curriculum for teenage boys. It is spot on! Hopefully this will save my relationship.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-23-21

I wish I had this knowledge when I was twenty

I wish I had this knowledge when I was twenty years old.

a useful read for all men (and woman).

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  • Ducarta
  • 01-05-21

My Eyes Have Been Opened!

This is the book I wish I had in my teens. Would have saved me a lot of mistakes but I'm glad I found it because it's never too late to learn!

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  • Phillip
  • 12-17-20

Brilliant from start to finish

Such a brilliant book, I learned so much, must listen for both men and women, amazingly narrated by Eric Michael Summerer :)

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-19-20

The only book you need for good relationships.

This is a real deal science based fun book that truly teaches you how to love and be loved by women.

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  • Rydonwunali
  • 09-26-20

I wish i had read it sooner

It showed me the mistakes i made as a man, trying to fix an emotional problem where all i had to do was to just hold her.

I like that it references other books such as the multiorgasmic man etc the true with of this book will be once it is compared to today's tinder culture.

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  • MR D Shukla
  • 08-30-20

Very insightful book

really got more than I anticipated I would from this book and will save me much heartache going forward

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  • mark sugden
  • 02-07-18

quite brilliant

this is what I needed 40 years ago thank god I've got it now great book

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-08-21

recommend this to all my mates, 100% relatable and

great book, I will recommend this to all my friends and already also thinking about listening to it again haha

1 person found this helpful

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  • AE
  • 03-01-21

Loved the advice, not the worldview

This book did a great job of answering the question it proposes to answer, that is it tells what women really want. It is informative, well written and well performed. I especially appreciated the scientific information and the research articles referenced.

I did not appreciate the worldview of evolutionary biology mostly because it made me (as a woman) feel like a labeled cross-section diagram or a bunch of equations and involuntary responses rather than a unique and created being, cherished by God and with eternal value. But I guess I can’t expect a science book to have a Judeo-Christian worldview and aside from that I enjoyed the book and found it very informative and helpful!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Edward Simberg
  • 02-05-20

Fun and educational

I really liked the fun, humorous tone. Most other books on dating and relationships are just dead serious.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Tim
  • 06-19-16

recommend

Good insight with no egotistical undertone like other books I've read. I would recommed to both qlued up and clueless men. There is both priceless nuggets of information and reassurance of what you'll already know

5 people found this helpful

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  • Luke
  • 06-30-21

Pretty smug book in need of an update

There’s one good tip in this book, which is ‘when triggered, say you need a little time to calm down, go and take your mind off the issue, then come back when calmer to discus the matter.’ The rest of the book is pretty much man bashing and it just makes relationships sound like totally exhausting enterprises in woman worship.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-23-21

if your an incel this is the book for you.

If your an incel this will probably suit you well. if not? don't waste your token on this book.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-19-21

Geoff and I both listened to it!

Wow what an insight for me too. We’re both in our sixties, and met 18 months ago...third time lucky for both of us...we don’t have time for another screwup so we are learning together.
Best parts for me: understanding that what I want isn’t unique to me, and that now I understand myself and women better, I am way more tolerant when Geoff screws up. We have scientifically proven tools and common ground to discuss and resolve our issues.
Best parts for Geoff: ‘Realising that I have a long way to go but now I have a great insight on how I have to develop. I have the tools now to get out of the pool where so many others are floundering!

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  • William Boswell
  • 01-24-21

The book every man needs to listen to

Deep truths that you already, but don't know how to deal with. This book gives you insights that many men will never find for themselves.

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  • Derek Jones
  • 01-06-21

A must For anyman

A must read/listen for any man.

After 3 failed relationships in my 30s i went on a path of self discovery and finding truth. This book alone sets the tone for any relationship and whst men need to know about women. Ive read dozens off books and compketed numerous courses and all my learnings i have foubd in this book alone.