This week Kristen Boss dives deep into a sneaky and self-sabotaging pattern that shows up in goal-setting—guilt-driven goals. As the end of the year approaches, many people fall into the trap of using shame and guilt to set overcompensating goals, only to end up feeling burned out, unmotivated, and even more disconnected from themselves.

Kristen breaks down how guilt-fueled goals are rooted in shame rather than genuine desire, and why they often lead to failure, burnout, and eroded self-trust. She challenges listeners to shift their goal-setting framework from punishment to purpose, offering tangible questions and mindset shifts to help you set kinder, self-honoring goals that actually stick.

Plus, Kristen shares personal anecdotes, coaching insights from inside her Sonara Signature membership, and offers a sneak peek into her upcoming 3-Day Challenge: The Success Rewire—designed to help you radically shift how you approach goals in 2026.

• Guilt-driven goals are reactionary and come from shame, not purpose.
• These goals often ignore your current season, bandwidth, and values.
• Guilt only creates short-term compliance—not sustainable change.
• Self-compassion and values-based goals create lasting motivation.
• Small, kind, consistent goals build self-trust and long-term success.

• Is this goal coming from shame or desire?
• Would I still want this goal if no one was watching?
• Does this goal feel kind and aligned with my current season of life?

🌟 The Success Rewire — Kristen’s new 3-day event to help you set meaningful goals that align with your values and create lasting results. Just $9 to join!

📅 Dates: December 8–10 | Replay available | Get your ticket here.

00:00 – Welcome + intro to guilt-driven goals

01:54 – Year-end urgency and the guilt trap

04:34 – Upcoming 3-day event: The Success Rewire

06:18 – Real-life coaching example of a guilt-driven goal

09:11 – How shame hijacks your objectivity

14:56 – Guilt goals vs. kind, values-based goals

22:36 – How your nervous system reacts to shame

25:23 – The hidden cost: eroded self-trust

29:33 – Turning guilt into sustainable change

32:00 – Anchoring goals in identity and self-love

35:32 – The slow and sustainable path

37:53 – Kristen’s personal reflections on failure and resilience

Episode Summary:

In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode, Kristen opens up about the emotional challenges of the past year, including the unexpected loss of her beloved dog Hank. But this conversation is about much more than personal hardship—Kristen invites listeners into her raw reflections on the moral dilemma of marketing, the unhealthy patterns often baked into the personal development space, and how the industry subtly preys on people’s insecurities.

She shares powerful insights from behind the scenes of entrepreneurship, including conversations with high-level business leaders who are grappling with the same ethical concerns. Kristen explores the difference between building a business from empowerment versus shame, and why she’s committed to creating sustainable, holistic success through her new venture, Sondera.

You’ll walk away with a renewed sense of clarity, challenged thinking, and the motivation to pursue growth from a place of wholeness—not hustle. This is a must-listen for anyone who’s tired of burnout, tired of the same old formulas, and ready to rewire success on their own terms.

• Why fast fixes and dopamine-driven purchases keep us stuck
• The hidden ways marketing tactics prey on fear and urgency
• The difference between empowered growth and shame-based action
• Why so many people struggle to implement what they’ve learned
• Kristen’s behind-the-scenes journey in building a truly holistic business model
• How to break the cycle of self-growth shame and finally experience sustainable change

• Success isn't just about results—it's about how we become in the process.
• The personal development industry often teaches transformation from a place of lack. It’s time to shift that.
• You don’t need more strategy. You need better tools for implementation.
• Buying from panic and shame rarely leads to lasting transformation. Empowered decisions do.

Kristen is hosting a brand new 3-day event:

🎯 The Success Rewire

🗓️ December 8–10

💸 Just $9

This event will help you stop quitting on yourself and finally follow through on the growth you’ve been chasing. No gimmicks. No shame. Just tools that work.

Follow @thekristenboss on Instagram for updates and keep an eye on your email.

• 00:00 – Holiday reflections and recent personal losses
• 04:30 – The broken model of hustle-based business building
• 09:20 – A conversation with a high-level entrepreneur on burnout
• 12:45 – The ethical dilemma of scarcity marketing
• 18:40 – The psychology of empowered vs. shame-based purchases
• 23:50 – What Sonera is really about and why it matters
• 27:00 – Announcing the 3-Day Event: The Success Rewire
• 32:00 – Breaking the cycle of self-growth shame
• 35:00 – Final thoughts and invitation

• Instagram: @thekristenboss
• Website: www.kristenboss.com or www.sonderalife.com

If this episode moved you, inspired you, or made you rethink success—share it on Instagram and tag @thekristenboss. She might just shout you out!

In this insightful and vulnerable episode, Kristen is joined by longtime friend and author Sarah Boyd to unpack the often misunderstood world of nervous system regulation and how chronic stress shows up in parenting, entrepreneurship, and everyday life.

They explore how hustle culture isn’t just a mindset—it's often a nervous system coping mechanism, and why high achievers struggle with stillness, rest, and emotional connection. Sarah shares practical tools for recognizing overstimulation, building emotional regulation, and deepening relationships at home—especially for parents who are also business owners.

If you've ever felt like you're stuck in "go mode" and can’t seem to slow down without guilt or anxiety, this episode is a must-listen.

• What nervous system dysregulation actually is—and how to spot it in your own life
• Why high performers often struggle with parenting and connection
• How hustle can be a trauma response masked as productivity
• The hidden role of overstimulation in burnout and disconnection
• Tools for re-regulating your nervous system—especially during transitions between work and family life
• How entrepreneurs can build deeper emotional awareness and healthier coping strategies
• Why rest might feel unsafe for you—and how to change that

• [00:00] Intro and heartfelt reunion with Sarah Boyd
• [04:00] How Sarah's new book reframes overstimulation and parenting
• [08:30] The science of stress: what your nervous system is trying to tell you
• [13:00] What keeps high performers stuck in chronic dysregulation
• [17:00] Kristen’s personal story of entrepreneurial vigilance and internalized scarcity
• [22:00] A hard truth: many entrepreneurs are dysregulated and calling it “ADHD”
• [27:00] The role of parenting in nervous system awareness
• [30:10] Why entrepreneurs struggle to connect with their kids
• [35:00] How to move out of “fight or flight” and back into empathy
• [38:45] Reclaiming rest: learning to downshift your nervous system after work
• [42:00] Hustle as a flavor of dysregulation—and recovering from it
• [44:30] Why EQ (emotional intelligence) is the future for our kids
• [45:36] Final reflections + where to find Sarah’s work

Sarah Boyd is a writer, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of the educational company, Resilient Little Hearts, a platform helping parents and children navigate big emotions in a chaotic world. Her book, Turn Down the Noise, helps readers understand the impact of overstimulation on the nervous system and offers practical tools to find calm, especially for parents raising children in the modern age.

Follow Sarah:

Instagram: @resilientlittlehearts Book: Turn Down the Noise – available now wherever books are sold

Learn more about Kristen by heading to her website: www.kristenboss.com

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