This week Kristen Boss dives deep into a sneaky and self-sabotaging pattern that shows up in goal-setting—guilt-driven goals. As the end of the year approaches, many people fall into the trap of using shame and guilt to set overcompensating goals, only to end up feeling burned out, unmotivated, and even more disconnected from themselves.

Kristen breaks down how guilt-fueled goals are rooted in shame rather than genuine desire, and why they often lead to failure, burnout, and eroded self-trust. She challenges listeners to shift their goal-setting framework from punishment to purpose, offering tangible questions and mindset shifts to help you set kinder, self-honoring goals that actually stick.

Plus, Kristen shares personal anecdotes, coaching insights from inside her Sonara Signature membership, and offers a sneak peek into her upcoming 3-Day Challenge: The Success Rewire—designed to help you radically shift how you approach goals in 2026.

• Guilt-driven goals are reactionary and come from shame, not purpose.
• These goals often ignore your current season, bandwidth, and values.
• Guilt only creates short-term compliance—not sustainable change.
• Self-compassion and values-based goals create lasting motivation.
• Small, kind, consistent goals build self-trust and long-term success.

• Is this goal coming from shame or desire?
• Would I still want this goal if no one was watching?
• Does this goal feel kind and aligned with my current season of life?

🌟 The Success Rewire — Kristen’s new 3-day event to help you set meaningful goals that align with your values and create lasting results. Just $9 to join!

📅 Dates: December 8–10 | Replay available | Get your ticket here.

00:00 – Welcome + intro to guilt-driven goals

01:54 – Year-end urgency and the guilt trap

04:34 – Upcoming 3-day event: The Success Rewire

06:18 – Real-life coaching example of a guilt-driven goal

09:11 – How shame hijacks your objectivity

14:56 – Guilt goals vs. kind, values-based goals

22:36 – How your nervous system reacts to shame

25:23 – The hidden cost: eroded self-trust

29:33 – Turning guilt into sustainable change

32:00 – Anchoring goals in identity and self-love

35:32 – The slow and sustainable path

37:53 – Kristen’s personal reflections on failure and resilience

Episode Summary:

In this deeply personal and thought-provoking episode, Kristen opens up about the emotional challenges of the past year, including the unexpected loss of her beloved dog Hank. But this conversation is about much more than personal hardship—Kristen invites listeners into her raw reflections on the moral dilemma of marketing, the unhealthy patterns often baked into the personal development space, and how the industry subtly preys on people’s insecurities.

She shares powerful insights from behind the scenes of entrepreneurship, including conversations with high-level business leaders who are grappling with the same ethical concerns. Kristen explores the difference between building a business from empowerment versus shame, and why she’s committed to creating sustainable, holistic success through her new venture, Sondera.

You’ll walk away with a renewed sense of clarity, challenged thinking, and the motivation to pursue growth from a place of wholeness—not hustle. This is a must-listen for anyone who’s tired of burnout, tired of the same old formulas, and ready to rewire success on their own terms.

• Why fast fixes and dopamine-driven purchases keep us stuck
• The hidden ways marketing tactics prey on fear and urgency
• The difference between empowered growth and shame-based action
• Why so many people struggle to implement what they’ve learned
• Kristen’s behind-the-scenes journey in building a truly holistic business model
• How to break the cycle of self-growth shame and finally experience sustainable change

• Success isn't just about results—it's about how we become in the process.
• The personal development industry often teaches transformation from a place of lack. It’s time to shift that.
• You don’t need more strategy. You need better tools for implementation.
• Buying from panic and shame rarely leads to lasting transformation. Empowered decisions do.

Kristen is hosting a brand new 3-day event:

🎯 The Success Rewire

🗓️ December 8–10

💸 Just $9

This event will help you stop quitting on yourself and finally follow through on the growth you’ve been chasing. No gimmicks. No shame. Just tools that work.

Follow @thekristenboss on Instagram for updates and keep an eye on your email.

• 00:00 – Holiday reflections and recent personal losses
• 04:30 – The broken model of hustle-based business building
• 09:20 – A conversation with a high-level entrepreneur on burnout
• 12:45 – The ethical dilemma of scarcity marketing
• 18:40 – The psychology of empowered vs. shame-based purchases
• 23:50 – What Sonera is really about and why it matters
• 27:00 – Announcing the 3-Day Event: The Success Rewire
• 32:00 – Breaking the cycle of self-growth shame
• 35:00 – Final thoughts and invitation

• Instagram: @thekristenboss
• Website: www.kristenboss.com or www.sonderalife.com

If this episode moved you, inspired you, or made you rethink success—share it on Instagram and tag @thekristenboss. She might just shout you out!

In this insightful and vulnerable episode, Kristen is joined by longtime friend and author Sarah Boyd to unpack the often misunderstood world of nervous system regulation and how chronic stress shows up in parenting, entrepreneurship, and everyday life.

They explore how hustle culture isn’t just a mindset—it's often a nervous system coping mechanism, and why high achievers struggle with stillness, rest, and emotional connection. Sarah shares practical tools for recognizing overstimulation, building emotional regulation, and deepening relationships at home—especially for parents who are also business owners.

If you've ever felt like you're stuck in "go mode" and can’t seem to slow down without guilt or anxiety, this episode is a must-listen.

• What nervous system dysregulation actually is—and how to spot it in your own life
• Why high performers often struggle with parenting and connection
• How hustle can be a trauma response masked as productivity
• The hidden role of overstimulation in burnout and disconnection
• Tools for re-regulating your nervous system—especially during transitions between work and family life
• How entrepreneurs can build deeper emotional awareness and healthier coping strategies
• Why rest might feel unsafe for you—and how to change that

• [00:00] Intro and heartfelt reunion with Sarah Boyd
• [04:00] How Sarah's new book reframes overstimulation and parenting
• [08:30] The science of stress: what your nervous system is trying to tell you
• [13:00] What keeps high performers stuck in chronic dysregulation
• [17:00] Kristen’s personal story of entrepreneurial vigilance and internalized scarcity
• [22:00] A hard truth: many entrepreneurs are dysregulated and calling it “ADHD”
• [27:00] The role of parenting in nervous system awareness
• [30:10] Why entrepreneurs struggle to connect with their kids
• [35:00] How to move out of “fight or flight” and back into empathy
• [38:45] Reclaiming rest: learning to downshift your nervous system after work
• [42:00] Hustle as a flavor of dysregulation—and recovering from it
• [44:30] Why EQ (emotional intelligence) is the future for our kids
• [45:36] Final reflections + where to find Sarah’s work

Sarah Boyd is a writer, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of the educational company, Resilient Little Hearts, a platform helping parents and children navigate big emotions in a chaotic world. Her book, Turn Down the Noise, helps readers understand the impact of overstimulation on the nervous system and offers practical tools to find calm, especially for parents raising children in the modern age.

Follow Sarah:

Instagram: @resilientlittlehearts Book: Turn Down the Noise – available now wherever books are sold

Learn more about Kristen by heading to her website: www.kristenboss.com

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Kristen peels back the glossy layers of the personal development world and gets radically honest about what real growth looks and feels like. Spoiler alert: it’s not always pretty—and it’s definitely not linear.

If you've ever thought, “Why am I still dealing with this?” or felt stuck in self-help shame spirals, this conversation is your permission slip to ditch the unrealistic timelines and redefine what growth really means.

Kristen dives into:

• Why consuming personal development content isn’t the same as doing the work
• The danger of turning personal growth into a self-shaming tool
• What it means to turn in your “victim card” and reclaim radical responsibility
• How to spot when you're stuck in a pattern vs. truly evolving
• The nature-inspired reminder that nothing in life grows endlessly—and that’s okay

Plus, she shares a heartfelt personal reflection about fulfillment, redefining success, and how breaking her own patterns led to unexpected transformation.

Whether you’re working on your mindset, relationships, business, or just trying to become the best version of yourself—this episode will meet you where you are.

• Growth is not a straight line—expect spirals, setbacks, and seasons.
• Awareness without action is a trap. Real change requires implementation.
• Stop treating yourself like a never-ending project to fix.
• True growth happens when you love yourself through the process—not once you “arrive.”
• Fulfillment metrics matter more than performance metrics.

00:58 – Welcome back + the truth about "growth drama"

02:52 – Consuming vs. integrating personal development

04:50 – Turning in your victim card and owning your agency

07:34 – The shadow side of self-help culture

12:23 – When personal growth turns into self-shaming

19:24 – What nature teaches us about healthy growth patterns

23:52 – Revisiting old wounds from a new level of awareness

27:46 – How Kristen manages her own defaults around hustle

30:19 – Why fulfillment > achievement

33:21 – A new lens for your lifelong journey

Join Sondera Signature Membership – Weekly coaching, transformative tools, and deep work to help you break patterns and build a meaningful life. (Special offer ends November 1st—don’t miss it!)

Love the podcast? Drop a quick rating and review on Apple or Spotify. It helps more people find the show—and we’d love to shout you out on Instagram. Tag @thekristenboss with a screenshot and your biggest takeaway.

In this powerful solo episode, Kristen dives deep into one of the most essential traits for success and fulfillment—emotional resilience. Far from being a vague buzzword, Kristen unpacks what resilience truly means, why it matters, and—most importantly—how you can measure and grow it.

She introduces the Six Pillars of Emotional Resilience, a framework designed to help you navigate discomfort, manage stress, bounce back from setbacks, and lead with more courage and clarity in all areas of life—from business to relationships.

Whether you're a business owner, a growth-minded human, or someone who just feels emotionally exhausted from trying to hold it all together, this episode offers the clarity, validation, and practical tools you've been searching for.

• Why personal growth often feels subjective—and how to make it measurable
• The difference between “feeling goals” and outcome goals
• How emotional pain registers just like physical pain—and what that means for your nervous system
• The 6 measurable pillars of emotional resilience and how they apply to your life
• How to shorten your recovery time after setbacks, stop spiraling in shame, and actually take aligned action
• The surprising power of asking for support and why hyper-independence might be silently burning you out

1. Stress Adaptability – Staying emotionally regulated in real-time
2. Cognitive Flexibility – Reframing rigid thinking and embracing nuance
3. Emotional Recovery Time – Bouncing back from emotional setbacks faster
4. Self-Trust & Confidence – Trusting your decisions without needing external validation
5. Growth Actionability – Taking aligned, consistent action even when it’s hard
6. Social Support Utilization – Letting others in and asking for help without shame

“If we don’t have the tools to handle discomfort, we will always retreat to comfort—end of story.”

“Some of you are creating aspirational action plans, betting on a perfect day that doesn’t exist. You need a dumpster day plan.”

“We are not meant to do life in isolation. Sometimes, giving someone three minutes of your time can be life-changing.”

0:00 – Introduction: What is resilience, really?

2:00 – “Feelings goals” vs. outcome goals

8:30 – Why discomfort feels like danger to your brain

14:00 – Pillar 1: Stress adaptability

19:15 – Pillar 2: Cognitive flexibility

25:30 – Pillar 3: Emotional recovery time

31:30 – Pillar 4: Self-trust and confidence

35:00 – Pillar 5: Growth actionability

40:00 – Pillar 6: Social support utilization

49:00 – Real client wins and emotional resilience growth metrics

53:00 – Final encouragement: Be someone who offers three minutes

If this episode hit home, send a three-minute message to someone you care about. Let them know they're not a burden and that you’re available to listen. Want to measure your own resilience? Head to the Sondera Membership and take the Emotional Resilience Index: And REMINDER: Kristen is back in the coaching seat! Starting November, we’re offering a new membership tier called the Sondera Signature Membership and it includes LIVE weekly coaching with Kristen. If you’ve ever wanted direct guidance beyond the strategy—this is your moment.

Join before November 1st to lock in the special pricing:

In this deeply personal and insight-packed solo episode, Kristen shares a powerful reflection on what she calls “dumpster decisions”—those all-or-nothing moves we make when we’re on the brink of burnout or buried in overwhelm. Drawing from her own journey of business pivots, personal healing, and rediscovery, Kristen opens up about how she threw away more than she needed to, only to later return and reclaim what still sparked joy.

She walks listeners through the difference between rage cleaning your life and intentionally evaluating what still serves your evolving self. Along the way, she delivers relatable stories, thoughtful metaphors (hello, Marie Kondo and Harry Potter’s phoenix!), and a massive announcement that longtime listeners will love.

Spoiler alert: She's officially back in the weekly coaching chair—and you’re invited.

• What “dumpster decisions” are and why we make them during burnout
• How Kristen’s business and personal life were shaped by burnout recovery
• The importance of honoring your evolution without shame
• How your nervous system holds the key to better habits, performance, and joy
• The birth of Sondera, Kristen’s newest company helping people regulate, realign, and rise
• A sneak peek into the tools, coaching, and transformation waiting inside her new membership
• The full-circle moment: Kristen’s return to live weekly coaching (and how you can join!)

• Burnout doesn’t always mean burning everything down.
• Regulating your nervous system is the missing link between knowing what to do and actually doing it.
• Sometimes, the things you walked away from still belong with you—you just needed space to see it.
• Sustainable success is rooted in self-awareness, alignment, and nervous system integration.

Kristen is back in the coaching seat! Starting November, we’re offering a new membership tier called the Sondera Signature Membership and it includes LIVE weekly coaching with Kristen. If you’ve ever wanted direct guidance beyond the strategy—this is your moment.

Join before November 1st to lock in the special pricing: Sondera Signature Membership

Just want the DIY Sondera Membership? Click here!

00:00 – Welcome + a teaser about a big reveal

02:00 – Rage cleaning, burnout, and personal “dumpster decisions”

06:30 – The Marie Kondo method for life clarity

11:00 – When everything you built no longer fits

14:00 – The myth of business vs. life separation

20:00 – The real gap: strategy vs. nervous system regulation

27:00 – The story behind Sonder Era and what it helps people do

34:00 – A return to coaching & why Kristen is more lit up than ever

39:00 – Final encouragements + how to join before November 1st

Episode Overview

In this powerful episode, Kristen explores a deeper layer of hustle culture—one most people never identify: hustle as a survival response. Drawing from personal experiences, trauma-informed coaching, and neuroscience, she unpacks how our nervous systems are often running the show without us even realizing it.

You’ll learn why high-performers hit burnout despite consuming all the right strategies, and how unaddressed stress patterns are sabotaging our leadership, productivity, and peace. Kristen also introduces the four main survival responses (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn) and how they show up in real life, business, parenting, and more.

Whether you feel stuck in cycles of burnout, perfectionism, or chronic overworking—this episode will help you understand the real driver behind those patterns and how to finally change them.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why hustle is often a survival strategy, not a strategy for success
• The neuroscience behind why we freeze, overwork, or people-please under stress
• How early childhood experiences shaped your default stress response
• The difference between reaction and response—and why it matters
• Why information alone isn’t enough: the gap between knowledge and action
• How to begin regulating your nervous system in real-time

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro: Life as a sideline sports mom

02:00 – Recapping the three-part healing series

03:30 – The survival response hidden inside hustle culture

04:35 – Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and how it shows up in business

05:28 – The real reason we stay stuck in reactivity loops

06:35 – Looking for security in external outcomes (and why it backfires)

07:30 – Childhood experiences that shaped our nervous systems

08:20 – Example: scarcity, chaos, and “fighting for the meat”

10:00 – Why children default to shame without external narration

11:00 – How childhood survival strategies bleed into adulthood

12:00 – What your frontal lobe does—and why it goes offline under stress

13:00 – The “infobesity epidemic” and why personal development isn’t working

14:50 – The two speeds we operate in: 0 or 100 mph

15:45 – Nervous system regulation is the real key to high performance

16:30 – What triggers actually feel like in the body (even online)

17:48 – Our brain’s obsession with certainty and black-and-white thinking

19:00 – One grounding question to ask when you’re spiraling

20:25 – Kristen’s own journey with chronic dysregulation and burnout

21:27 – The four major nervous system stress responses explained

22:30 – Fight: control as a form of safety

23:34 – Freeze: perfectionism, overthinking, and inability to start

24:30 – Fawn: people-pleasing as emotional self-preservation

25:45 – How to create safety for others with different responses

26:20 – Social media and collective dysregulation

27:15 – Rear lobe vs. frontal lobe thinking

28:00 – From reaction to conscious response: the real work

29:10 – One simple regulation tool to start using today

30:00 – Regulating ≠ never being triggered—it’s about knowing what to do

31:00 – Why this conversation is the future of personal development

32:03 – Take the new stress type quiz + download the full 26-page report

Key Takeaways

• Most people are unknowingly operating from survival mode every day
• Your nervous system is either helping or hijacking your decision-making
• High performers are often stuck in hustle loops not from laziness, but from dysregulation
• True transformation doesn’t happen from learning more—it happens when we can apply what we know, and...

Episode Overview

In the final installment of her vulnerable three-part series, Kristen continues to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and professional journey she’s been on over the past year. Picking up where she left off—at rock bottom—Kristen shares what happened after taking radical responsibility for her actions and stepping away from the business that made her a household name in social selling.

She explores the deep healing work she’s done through therapy, a transformational retreat, and a season of radical stillness...before realizing that healing often intensifies when we start building again. Kristen discusses the creation of Sondera, her new company focused on nervous system regulation, and how the entrepreneurial process is offering her the most humbling and redemptive growth of all.

This is not a polished comeback. This is the messy middle—where ego dies, faith grows, and identity is rebuilt.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why healing often accelerates in the process of building something new
• How nervous system dysregulation can sabotage success
• The dangers of attaching self-worth to productivity and platform
• Why Kristen walked away from a wildly successful business
• The origin story of Sondera and what it’s really about
• Why your internal safety matters more than external security

Key Takeaways

• Healing is not linear. Kristen thought peace would come from stillness. But it came through risk, exposure, and being seen in a new way.
• Burnout is more than overwork. Chronic nervous system dysregulation—not just hours worked—was what broke Kristen down.
• Success doesn’t mean alignment. Kristen shares how she knew she was out of alignment even though her business was thriving on the surface.
• Redemption is found in transparency. Instead of disappearing and re-emerging perfectly polished, Kristen invites her audience into the real-time journey.
• Your body tells the truth. Learning how her stress response (flight) controlled her behavior helped her take back agency and make healthier decisions.

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro: “I see you with brand new eyes.”

01:20 – Recapping Part 2: Hitting bottom and coming home

03:00 – The power of bringing your story into the light

05:00 – Deep therapy and emotional healing at Onsite

06:15 – Feeling disillusioned with her former business model

07:10 – Launching “Beyond the Business” coaching calls

08:00 – The agonizing decision to shut down her signature programs

09:45 – Stewarding success well in seasons of plenty

11:00 – Letting go of external validation and facing public perception

12:30 – The fantasy of a “quiet, offline life” vs. the call to rebuild

15:00 – Discovering nervous system regulation as the missing link

17:00 – Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn: how they show up in your business

20:00 – Why she mistook her chronic stress for ambition

23:30 – Understanding burnout through the lens of dysregulation

25:10 – Building Sondera: from idea to messy execution

26:30 – Why healing happened through building, not before it

29:00 – Learning to express vulnerability to her husband

31:00 – Letting go of ego, hustle, and performance-driven identity

33:00 – Creating Sondera as a redemptive act

34:30 – Reconnecting with her story and reclaiming her voice

36:00 – An invitation to listeners: look for the growth in your own build

39:00 – Next up: nervous system regulation and what it means in daily life

Resources & Mentions

• Kristen’s New Company: