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The Future According to Me  By  cover art

The Future According to Me

By: Rob Kutner
Narrated by: Emo Philips,Rob Kutner,Jane Wiedlin,Kurt Andersen,Cecil Baldwin,Kipleigh Brown,Eddie Pepitone
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Publisher's Summary

Hipster aliens! Existentially aware smart toilets! Instant genital swapping! The future will be all of these things and so much more in Conan/Daily Show writer Rob Kutner's collection of "quick hits" on what could be but probably shouldn't.

Includes never-before-seen primary source documents like:

  • The official memo of the triumphant Jewish/gay/lizard-people conspiracy
  • The diary of a time-travelling garbage man
  • The unearthed prophecies of the great Seusstrodamus

If you listen to this book, you are guaranteed to start traveling into the future.

©2011 Rob Kutner (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about The Future According to Me

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    2 out of 5 stars

Yikes! Aged badly & I'm shocked it's on Audible

The first 15min delivers homophobia, antisemitism & transphobia. This content is a decade old & has aged poorly. The overacted narration is cringe worthy, but it's clearly meant to show the author intends humor rather than hate. Unfortunately, the "comedy" is mainly offensive stereotypes of Jewish, female & LGBT folks. The audiobook's format is a series of short unrelated clips, so it lacks sufficient context & build-up to succeed as satire.

The clip characterizing Jews as conniving lizard-people is not funny. Neither is the clip discussing future gender transitions with disgust. Another clip foretells extinction of "chalkies," aka white, nasal-accented barbarians in Boston. I enjoy edgy humor, but this isn't humor. It doesn't offer funny stories or anecdotes. It's literally a collection of clips mocking groups of people based on intrinsic traits. I'm not familiar with the TV show the author wrote for, so maybe these are bigoted characters in a running gag. Even so, it doesn't work in this audiobook. It sounds like the author interviewed bigots & described their fears about the future (like those darn trans people changing genders, white folks going extinct, & women being able to fully zone out while husbands do sex to us - cuz ya know, females are objects right? hahaha 🙄).

There are a few momentary reprieves from offensive rambling, e.g., the best 1min segment that's in the preview. That's why I wrote this review. Hopefully this review saves other listeners from being offended or duped into wasting time. Why does Audible recommend this out of all their content? This is unrelated to the books I listen to (on science & space). Audible/ Amazon should design or buy a data algorithm like Google/ YouTube that pushes their best rather than worst content. YT wouldn't push this decade-old questionable comedy, bc it'd be downvoted & reported once it becomes inconsistent with modern-day standards.

In summary, this content is unlikely to make you laugh, & it may make you feel bad. You may find it a rambling nonsensical waste of time, or a mean-spirited mockery of minority groups. If you find this funny in the 2020s, you should NOT risk having more than 2 drinks at the office holiday party, because your sense of humor is likely to get you fired. 😆

3 people found this helpful

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Incredibly stupid

While some people may find this audiobook, which consists of 40-50 short (1-2 minute) “stories”, entertaining, I am not one of those people. Instead, I found these to be incredibly stupid attempts at humor and a complete waste of time. Narrated by a host of different performers, the quality of the performances themselves is inconsistent. Some are good, while others are almost unlistenable. I cannot recommend this audiobook to anyone, but other people may find it entertaining if this kind of “humor” is their cup of tea.

1 person found this helpful

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Presented well for what it was.

Maybe it is just me, but I actually found the novel annoying.The story and the voice actors was just too annoying for me to finish.

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Disjointed, Confusing, Badly performed

I love science fiction books but this isn’t good science fiction at all. Each chapter takes a concept, spells it out, and then runs down what that means. No story, no plot, no characters, no twists — none of the elements that make good stories.
A waste of money, but worse a waste of time.

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like Saunders or Teddy Wayne

It's silly but I liked it. Reminded me of Welcome to Night Vale. I need more words. I thought his voice waa sexy in the intro but I like nerdy guys.

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60 seconds

just ok. worthwhile time filler while short attention span reigns. good enough I guess. words.

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Funny...interesting

Funny and interesting. Personalities you know telling either their version or sarcastic fears of the future.

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  • Noelle Sinclair
  • 08-05-22

Atrocious.

A series of poorly disguised bigotry, atrocious short stories. Genuinely shocking that the writer is arrogant enough to suppose his work is comparable to P.K.Dick's.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-16-22

review

Just feel like filling in lots and lots of humour to ordinary life these days.