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The Book of Dog: A Satire
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
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Publisher's summary
When their peoples mysteriously vanish, a pair of faithful dogs must work with their foul-mouthed feline friend to discover why, and how to bring them back home.
---------
Banger and Mash knew something strange was happening when their peoples’ scent began to fade. Sweetpea the cat knew it too, but…you know…he just wasn’t that worried about it. But when their human vanishes into thin air right before their noses, they race to get help from the other dogs in the village, only to discover that EVERYONE'S humans have disappeared.
Banger, a rescue with a traumatic past, convinces the other dogs that they must have done something Very Bad to incur this terrible punishment. Determined to become Perfect Dogs to entice the humans to return to them, a draconian system of laws is put into place to keep dogs from doing anything that might be seen as Bad—no more eating trash, no more sleeping on the couch, and definitely no humping. Sweetpea is more than happy to use his prodigious feline memory to help them keep track of their ever-more-complicated rules…so long as they refer to him as His Masterfulness, and pay him homage.
Mash, on the other hand, is not so sure that they’re going about it the right way. He wants to be a Good Dog, but he’s pretty sure that the whole reason the peoples loved them in the first place was because they were…well…dogs.
As differing philosophies give rise to conflict amongst the canines, a new theory of how they should behave arises from an unlikely source: Sweetpea--AKA, His Masterfulness--who is either the only cat capable of hearing the voice of the peoples…or maybe he’s just going crazy.
Satire and metaphysics come together in this humorous and often heartwarming tale about our four-legged friends, and how love conquers all.
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Beautiful genre switch from DJ
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Harden
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It’s been three years since Lee Harden emerged from his bunker into a world gone mad. Governments have fallen. And new ones have taken their place. In the United Eastern States, Lee and his team of battle-hardened operatives walk a tightrope of survival, keeping their fledgling society safe from the creatures beyond their gates - and from the enemies within. Then, an ambush in hostile territory reveals a traitor in their midst - and leaves Lee barely clinging to life. Wounded and on the run, Lee and his team race to uncover the leak before it’s too late.
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Truly Exceptional
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Jon Ryan has some unfinished business. Since he caused the universe to reboot, well, he can't seem to find his wife of two billion years. That's one great big oops. He also can't find the massive time ship Aramthella and her human crew. Double oops. And then there's the matter of not knowing whey why there are several copies of key people in the new reality he must navigate. Triple oops. He actually knows one whole heck of a lot less about his current situation than seems healthy. But he's Jon Ryan, former fighter pilot turned android warrior for humankind.
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Another hit
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Ten years after the collapse, Huxley has built a good life again. He has a loving wife, a farm with fields of golden barley, and a daughter with a strange and wonderful gift. Then the slavers come. Working out in the fields during the attack, Huxley returns too late. His daughter has been taken, and his wife is bleeding out, her last whispered words about a man with a scorpion tattoo on his neck. Where do the slavers go? Huxley has no idea. He knows only that they head east, and so will he, setting out on foot across the desert of the Wastelands.
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Brilliant. I do have one criticism.
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Santa's helpers don't always dispose of bodies, but that's what Tucker Smith is doing right now. Specifically, the body of his own Santa - one of thousands worldwide - who was just murdered in an apparent random act of violence. Now, Tucker will have to somehow manage to deliver Christmas to his assigned region while he struggles to patch things up with his family, all while training the replacement sent to him by The Organization and trying to uncover the mystery of who killed Santa. And there's only five days left until Christmas.
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I liked it.
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Beautiful genre switch from DJ
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Truly Exceptional
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Ryan in UnWonderland
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Another hit
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Brilliant. I do have one criticism.
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I liked it.
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Rocky River Bridge
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Two young boys set off for the Rocky River Bridge through their war-torn North Carolina hometown, both with something to prove - an adventure that will quickly teach them the realities of the raging world around them, in this prequel to DJ Molles' newest novel: The Purge of District 89.
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Molles In The High Castle
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In the beginning, the gods destroyed the world. Five hundred years later, things haven’t gotten much better for humans. The demigods that were left behind to guard over humanity have been using them as fodder for an endless civil war between themselves, and the humans just go on dutifully slaughtering each other, battle after battle. It’s not all bad, though. Perry McGown makes his living off those bloody, stinking battlefields. He works on a crew that reclaims all the spent shell casings. But if anyone found out that he was a deserter from the war, he’d be executed for heresy.
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Why does the author make it so hard to like the main character
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The Eighth Continent
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Nick Morrison always wanted to be an astronaut. When a start-up company recruits him to build a lunar launch system at the moon’s south pole, Nick gladly leaves behind his troubled life on Earth—but Nick doesn’t know that the company is in financial and legal trouble. Deprived of support from Earth, the team on the moon must figure out how to survive on their own. Worse yet, there’s another base at the lunar south pole, run by a ruthless contractor who has big plans for the moon...and for Earth.
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Great new find
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I Didn’t Know I Needed This is the dose of confidence every girl needs to live their life on their own terms. Eli Rallo is a social media superstar, a Carrie Bradshaw for the TikTok age, a true romantic at heart, and the best friend every young woman wishes she had. As someone who prides herself in feeling fully and deeply, Eli is on the ride with you, kissing the frogs, sending (and deleting) the risky DMs, climbing down frat house gutters, making the friends you’ll have for life, all while finding love and falling in love with yourself and learning that everything will be alright.
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absolutely fantastic
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The Spiritual Vixen’s Guide to an Unapologetic Life
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This story begins with an ending: the day Maureen Muldoon realized the devastating fact that her husband was having an affair—and leaving her for Miss Universe. Miss freaking Universe! How does this even happen?
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Finding your strength
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Paranormal Real Estate
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The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
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Decline and Fall
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Sent down from Oxford for indecent behaviour, Paul Pennyfeather is oddly unsurprised to find himself qualifying for the position of schoolmaster at Llanabba Castle. His colleagues are an assortment of misfits, rascals, and fools, including Prendy and Captain Grimes, who is always in the soup (or just plain drunk). Then Sports Day arrives, and with it the delectable Margot Beste-Chetwynde, floating on a scented breeze. As the farce unfolds and the young run riot, no one is safe, least of all Paul.
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Trash Talk
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Whether in basketball, football, or MMA, athletes talk trash to each other—and sometimes to fans—like it’s their job. And in some ways, it is: sports only matter if we decide to care about them. And insulting your opponent, or playing the heel, is probably the fastest route to making someone care. Talking smack is as old as the bible; it’s perhaps the original sport. But until now, there’s never been a book about it. In this lively, often hilarious history, Rafi Kohan interviews some of the world’s top competitors—on the petty rivalries and mind games that fuel them.
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A spirited, scholarly and comprehensive look at Trash Talk in sports and in our culture.
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Countdown
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Meet Joe Ledger, Baltimore PD, attached to a Homeland task force … who’s about to get a serious promotion.
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Unnecessary
- By John on 06-27-12
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Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- By: Jack Townsend
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Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night-shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all. That is, until his best friend reveals the body of a local politician hidden in the trunk of a car, setting off a chain of events with apocalyptic potential. Soon, Jack finds himself entangled in a supernatural conspiracy involving monster hunters, sociopaths, doomsday cultists, and...garden gnomes?
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Mr. CreepyPasta Narration is better
- By Kelsey on 08-11-23
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Hunter
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Story
Ranger Quinn thought that morning would be like so many others. A hangover, a day off before going back to work keeping the lower levels of Zion City safe from itself. But a crime so horrific, so brutal in its execution, turns those mundane expectations around. An investigation into the death of a senior leader in their underground utopia safe from the harsh radioactive wastelands beyond their walls forces Quinn beyond that safety and into the world outside.
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Beware - No Real Ending
- By Edward L Stubbers on 01-20-22
By: Devon C. Ford
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Empty Earth
- By: Jacqueline Druga
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- Length: 5 hrs and 21 mins
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Performance
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When Vivian closes her eyes to go to sleep, she prays she doesn't wake up, that the world just goes away. Little does she realize her prayers are about to be answered. Vivian wakes to a world void of life. Bodies everywhere, cars smashed into buildings and each other. It seems whatever happened occurred in an instant. Everyone is dead. Everyone but her. Now Vivian not only searches out others, but for answers as to what happened and why.
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Family Friendly Dystopian Tale
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By: Jacqueline Druga
What listeners say about The Book of Dog: A Satire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gregory Stewart
- 02-25-24
Thought and emotion provoking
I had no expectations when I started this book but was sucked in immediately. This book brought out so many emotions and thoughts about my interactions with my beloved furry friends and my people interactions as well. It is a wonderful book which I hope you enjoy as much as I did.
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- Erin Pritchett
- 03-10-24
I couldn't stop listening!
As with all of D.J. Molles' books, this one was so well written and amazing, I just couldn't stop listening to it. I love all of the characters and the journey they go through, a few places had my eyes leaking, both from laughter and from emotions. Scott Aiello is an exceptional narrator, perfect for this book. This is a must buy, you will be pleased you did!
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- Cathy King
- 12-20-23
Wonderful
I loved this book. Mash is a very good dog just trying to do the right thing in a strange new world. When all the peoples left some dogs tried to be perfect to bring them back. Some dogs hid their pain by acting like the peoples never loved them anyway so they threw out all the rules! Mash was banished for not taking sides but he was trying to do The Right Thing.
Living in the woods, Sweetpea the opinionated cat became his best and only friend. Sweetpea knew that neither pack’s side had it right, too.
Mash sticks to his path, Sweetpea follows her path and the lessons they learn will make you laugh and cry. Sometimes all at once.
You need to see where their paths lead. It’s a wonderful tale! Is it too much to hope for a sequel?!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Johnathan Breeland
- 03-11-24
Funny and Heart warming
first off I can't believe that the guy that wrote the remaining Universe wrote this book but I'm so glad that he did it's a breath of fresh air to go from reading some of the dark books that I read to reading this that is just so funny and heartwarming this Guy knows how to write a book and get you invested after listening to this I don't think there's a book that he'll put out that I won't check out you will laugh you will cry and you will have a good time doing it read it
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- Zack
- 01-04-24
Fun and Heartwarming Tale of Cats and Dogs!
What happens when all the peoples disappear and dogs and cats are left to their own devices?
This book answers that question and then some!
Not gonna lie, this book hit me in the feels as many times as it made me laugh! Amazing change of pace by Molles and a fun, refreshing story to have in your library. Interesting human parallels and absolutely spot on species specific behavioral accuracy! Narration was perfection (Again, species specific accuracy at its finest).
A must have for dog and cat lovers alike!
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- Jarad
- 01-15-24
Damn!!!
What a story! Hilarious and much more emotional than I expected. I love the other series by Molles, but this is far different from his other styles. Great performance as well! Sweetpea was my favorite!
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- Scott M.
- 01-18-24
Great book everyone should listen
What a great story that the world needs to hear thanks DJ we need more people like you
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- Paul G. Peppers
- 01-04-24
The cat was funny.
I found the parts where the cat was lead character very funny. the narrator captured the essence of cat.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-15-24
Love it!
The story is amazing! It's so well told, I couldn't put it down. The narrator did the best job of narrating and portraying each character. So much so that I could distinguish who was speaking even without him saying who was speaking. All in all 10 out of 10!
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- joseph d orsini
- 02-08-24
Fun read
I love a book that makes you laugh out load, and this one did often.
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