The Algorithm Told Me So

A Comedy of Prophecies, Pets, and Panic

By: Attis

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

What if your phone really was sending you signs?
When a perfectly ordinary man decides the news, his notifications, and his dog’s tail wags are coded messages from the universe, life turns gloriously unhinged. Mia—equal parts girlfriend and reality-check—calls it delusion. Frosty (the Westie) calls it dinner time.

From spreadsheet prophecies and Wi-Fi sabbaths to a neighborhood “apocalypse” involving one broken streetlight, our narrator tries to read fate into everything. He starts a newsletter, launches a sermon, and accidentally goes viral when the dog ruins his big moment. Somewhere between panic and punchlines, he discovers that maybe meaning isn’t hidden in the noise—it’s right there in the ordinary.

Smart, warm, and painfully relatable, The Algorithm Told Me So skewers modern self-help and our obsession with “signs,” while sneaking in a love story and a very good dog.
Perfect for fans of Jenny Offill, Matt Haig, and anyone who’s ever tried to optimize their soul with an app.

You’ll love this book if you enjoy:

• Satire with heart (think: therapy meets sitcom)

• Relationship comedy (deadpan partner; chaotic narrator)

• Dogs who quietly derail human enlightenment

• Short, cinematic chapters you can devour in one sitting

“Hilarious and sneakily wise… a modern comedy of errors about believing everything your feed tells you.”