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Southern Lady Code
- Essays
- Narrated by: Helen Ellis
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
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Publisher's Summary
"I loved it." (Ann Patchett)
The best-selling author of American Housewife - "Dark, deadpan and truly inventive." (The New York Times Book Review) - is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern lady.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain". Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups". And for the love of Coke salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants".
In these 23 raucous essays, Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen.
While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread and offering listeners a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.
Several pieces in this collection originally appeared in the following publications: “Making a Marriage Magically Tidy” in the New York Times column “Modern Love” (June 2, 2017); “How to Stay Happily Married” in Paper Darts (Winter 2017); “Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 1979” in Eating Well (November/December 2017); “How to Be the Best Guest” as “An American’s Guide to Being the Best Guest” in Financial Times (March 2016); and “When to Write a Thank-You Note” in Garden & Gun (February/March 2018).
Critic Reviews
“Thank you Helen Ellis for writing down the Southern Lady Code so that others may learn. As a Southern Lady myself, I can not only confirm the veracity of the facts, I can tell you the book made me laugh like a hyena. A true Southern Lady loves anything that is both funny and profound, which this book is, so I loved it.” (Ann Patchett)
“Helen Ellis’s Southern Lady Code lives between Fannie Flagg’s Fried Green Tomatoes and Sloane Crosley’s I Was Told There’d Be Cake. Ellis’s irreverent doses of humor are life lessons celebrating colloquial expressions, regional specialties and offering delightful commentary on everything from what should be served at cocktail parties to what should occur behind closed doors.” (A.M. Homes)
"Sassy…her essays are like being seated beside the most entertaining guest at a dinner party. Ellis is a refreshing entry into the annals of women humor writers that includes Nora Ephron, Erma Bombeck and Hollis Gillespie…[she] mines her Alabama heritage for all its worth, giving her essays a Southern spin that readers below the Mason-Dixon Line in particular will find relatable.” (Atlanta Journal Constitution)
“It’s hard to adequately describe these delightful autobiographical essays. Maybe that’s because Alabama-born Ellis’s take on Southern manners and mores is a unique blend of sardonic and sincere. More likely because it’s difficult to formulate sentences when you’re laughing this hard.” (People)
What listeners say about Southern Lady Code
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dani
- 04-28-19
A book about privilege
Edited Review: Actually, the more I think about this book, the more I feel like it’s not representative of the south and that this book is basically a rich white woman talking about her privilege in a variety of essays... downgrading from a 3-Star to a 1-Star.
I’m going to return this one.
Original Review: This is a good book, but it’s just not a book for me. The author and essays are comical, but a lot of the references went over my head due to my age. This guides me to think that the target audience wasn’t my generation—which is fine, it just was an obstacle for me when reading the book. The author also has a very spastic way of telling a story. At first, it was difficult to get into and caused me some frustration. I stuck with it and eventually pushed through. I got the rhythm of the author and her stories became more enjoyable.
As I said, this is a good book; it’s just not a book for me.
3 people found this helpful
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- Lili
- 04-25-19
Love the sassy, southern, narration!
Essentially a book of comedic essays written by a long time happily married southern woman now living in Manhattan. Funny, warm, personal, self deprecating, and focused at least in part, on aging. For me the best parts of the book are any of the times she quotes her mother who has spent years instilling good southern manners in her daughter. Each passage begins with her mother yelling...Helen Michelle! And is immediately followed by some tidbit of perfect advice. Her mom should write a book.
There are a couple of very jarring mentions of graphic violence, the worst is the description of a real murder, relevant because the author attended a murder trial to support her friend, the District Attorney. As well as some graphic descriptions of porn on Twitter. Both felt very out of place in a book of comedic essays. But most of the essays are about life, food, friendship, marriage, middle age, and of course manners. And I loved the narration, it was like Reese Witherspoon but turned up to 11 on the southern accent dial.
3 people found this helpful
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- Deanna Arrigo
- 09-22-20
False Advertising
She’s a great narrator with good inflection and cadence. I just don’t like her as a person. I wanted more actual southern lady code and less Manhattan socialite lore. I can tell she’s trying to be funny, but it seems disingenuous and self-serving. Overall, I give it a "Meh."
1 person found this helpful
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- Jdub22
- 05-06-20
The night the lights went out in Georgia!
As a “Yankee” I have always enjoyed southern humor, accents and stories - you name it! I grew up watching The Golden Girls and Designing Women with my Grandma and can proudly say that I still watch those programs today more than live or current television programs (thanks Hulu)! A southern woman (or man) can tell a story like no other! I enjoyed the list of essays and could relate to every one in some fashion and the presentation was spot on. I wanted to sit on the authors front porch and talk pillow talk for hours. This book had me at hello and knew I would love every word after the reference “the night the lights went out in Georgia”!
1 person found this helpful
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- Morgan
- 10-18-19
For all the southern girls who no longer live in the south!
Loves the cadence of the book. Loved hearing the all about the should and should nots of social graces. Helen Ellis is right on with everything! I could listen to this over and over again! Now if I can only get my yankee husband to listen. I get teased where I live about my cooking, thank you cards and being completely dressed and ready it’s 9am even if I’m not leaving the house. The hissy fits I throw when the house is messy. Helen is truly relatable to all southern girls!
1 person found this helpful
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- Smile
- 08-05-19
Funny, charming and full of life lessons.
I enjoyed this book as it was a series of short vignettes that reflected every day life for many people. Listening to the author/narrator was like sitting at the Well worn kitchen table with your best friend and a glass of sweet tea.
1 person found this helpful
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- Kari C.
- 07-19-19
Fabulously Honest
I absolutely LOVED these essays! As a Southern Lady, I found Helen's honesty totally hysterical and genuine. I don't even mind that she "outs" some of our code language. I love the profanity sprinkled throughout...in public a SL would never curse, but with girlfriends one can be herself. And, when listening to these essays, you'll feel like you've been girlfriends with Helen since childhood. Listen, laugh, cry, and enjoy!
1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-02-19
Just OK
As a Southern woman, I know there is tons of material to work with for this book. Unfortunately, I found most of the humor flat or trite. It had the potential to be so much better.
1 person found this helpful
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- StefanievPB
- 04-28-19
Not as advertised
Being from the South, I expected to hear stories about southern ladies and southern ways of living. This is not that. I did not enjoy any of these essays.
1 person found this helpful
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- Travis
- 02-21-23
So funny
I laughed to tears, spit out my coffee, spit out my Scotch, and generally had a great time with this. Highly recommended. Thank you Helen.
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Story
Joan Rivers was more than a legendary comedian; she was an icon and a role model to millions, a fearless pioneer who left a legacy of expanded opportunity when she died in 2014. Her life was a dramatic roller coaster of triumphant highs and devastating lows: the suicide of her husband, her feud with Johnny Carson, her estrangement from her daughter, her many plastic surgeries, her ferocious ambition, and her massive insecurities.
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Repetitive
- By Daniel Ryan on 04-17-22
By: Leslie Bennetts
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Feminasty
- The Complicated Woman's Guide to Surviving the Patriarchy Without Drinking Herself to Death
- By: Erin Gibson
- Narrated by: Erin Gibson
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Erin Gibson has a singular goal - to create a utopian future where women are recognized as humans. In Feminasty - titled after her nickname on the hit podcast Throwing Shade - she has written a collection of make-you-laugh-until-you-cry essays that expose the hidden rules that make life as a woman unnecessarily hard and deconstructs them in a way that's bold, provocative, and hilarious.
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Delightful Diatribes
- By thekimgriffin on 11-04-18
By: Erin Gibson
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American Housewife
- Stories
- By: Helen Ellis
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney, Lisa Cordileone, Rebecca Lowman, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meet the women of American Housewife: They wear lipstick, pearls, and sunscreen, even when it's cloudy. They casserole. They pinwheel. They pump the salad spinner like it's a CPR dummy. And then they kill a party crasher, carefully stepping around the body to pull cookies out of the oven. These 12 irresistible stories take us from a haunted prewar Manhattan apartment building to the set of a rigged reality television show, from the unique initiation ritual of a book club to the getaway car of a pageant princess on the lam.
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The South meets New York City!
- By J. B. Foreman on 01-28-16
By: Helen Ellis
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Maiden Voyages
- Magnificent Ocean Liners and the Women Who Traveled and Worked Aboard Them
- By: Siân Evans
- Narrated by: Jilly Bond
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
During the early twentieth century, transatlantic travel was the province of the great ocean liners. It was an extraordinary undertaking made by many women, whose lives were changed forever by their journeys between the Old World and the New. Some traveled for leisure, some for work; others to reinvent themselves or find new opportunities. They were celebrities, migrants and millionaires, refugees, aristocrats and crew members whose stories have mostly remained untold—until now.
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Magnificent!
- By Annika Eloranta on 08-26-21
By: Siân Evans
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Maeve in America
- Essays by a Girl from Somewhere Else
- By: Maeve Higgins
- Narrated by: Maeve Higgins
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Maeve Higgins was a best-selling memoirist and comedian in her native Ireland when, at the grand old age of 31, she left the only home she’d ever known in search of something more. Like many women in their early 30s, she both was and was not the adult she wanted to be. At once smart, curious, and humane, Maeve in America is the story of how Maeve found herself, literally and figuratively, in New York City.
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Love That Accent!
- By Milton A. Policzer on 10-07-18
By: Maeve Higgins
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Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light
- Essays
- By: Helen Ellis
- Narrated by: Helen Ellis
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Helen Ellis and her lifelong friends arrive for a reunion on the Redneck Riviera, they unpack more than their suitcases: stories of husbands and kids; lost parents and lost jobs; powdered onion dip and photographs you have to hold by the edges; dirty jokes and sunscreen with SPF higher than they hair-sprayed their bangs senior year; and a bad mammogram. It's a diagnosis that scares them, but could never break their bond. Because women pushing fifty won't be pushed around.
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Takes You Away from the Everyday To Laugh Out Loud, Raise Your Martini Glass or Gym Water Bottle Places
- By Karen Young on 07-20-21
By: Helen Ellis
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Last Girl Before Freeway
- The Life, Loves, Losses, and Liberation of Joan Rivers
- By: Leslie Bennetts
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 16 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Joan Rivers was more than a legendary comedian; she was an icon and a role model to millions, a fearless pioneer who left a legacy of expanded opportunity when she died in 2014. Her life was a dramatic roller coaster of triumphant highs and devastating lows: the suicide of her husband, her feud with Johnny Carson, her estrangement from her daughter, her many plastic surgeries, her ferocious ambition, and her massive insecurities.
-
-
Repetitive
- By Daniel Ryan on 04-17-22
By: Leslie Bennetts
-
Feminasty
- The Complicated Woman's Guide to Surviving the Patriarchy Without Drinking Herself to Death
- By: Erin Gibson
- Narrated by: Erin Gibson
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Erin Gibson has a singular goal - to create a utopian future where women are recognized as humans. In Feminasty - titled after her nickname on the hit podcast Throwing Shade - she has written a collection of make-you-laugh-until-you-cry essays that expose the hidden rules that make life as a woman unnecessarily hard and deconstructs them in a way that's bold, provocative, and hilarious.
-
-
Delightful Diatribes
- By thekimgriffin on 11-04-18
By: Erin Gibson
-
American Housewife
- Stories
- By: Helen Ellis
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney, Lisa Cordileone, Rebecca Lowman, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet the women of American Housewife: They wear lipstick, pearls, and sunscreen, even when it's cloudy. They casserole. They pinwheel. They pump the salad spinner like it's a CPR dummy. And then they kill a party crasher, carefully stepping around the body to pull cookies out of the oven. These 12 irresistible stories take us from a haunted prewar Manhattan apartment building to the set of a rigged reality television show, from the unique initiation ritual of a book club to the getaway car of a pageant princess on the lam.
-
-
The South meets New York City!
- By J. B. Foreman on 01-28-16
By: Helen Ellis
-
Maiden Voyages
- Magnificent Ocean Liners and the Women Who Traveled and Worked Aboard Them
- By: Siân Evans
- Narrated by: Jilly Bond
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
During the early twentieth century, transatlantic travel was the province of the great ocean liners. It was an extraordinary undertaking made by many women, whose lives were changed forever by their journeys between the Old World and the New. Some traveled for leisure, some for work; others to reinvent themselves or find new opportunities. They were celebrities, migrants and millionaires, refugees, aristocrats and crew members whose stories have mostly remained untold—until now.
-
-
Magnificent!
- By Annika Eloranta on 08-26-21
By: Siân Evans
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The Princess Spy
- The True Story of World War II Spy Aline Griffith, Countess of Romanones
- By: Larry Loftis
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Aline Griffith was born in a quiet suburban New York hamlet, no one had any idea that she would go on to live “a life of glamour and danger that Ingrid Bergman only played at in Notorious” (Time). As the United States enters the Second World War, the young college graduate is desperate to aid in the war effort, but no one is interested in a bright-eyed young woman whose only career experience is modeling clothes.
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Repeat of spy wore red
- By Theresa Pease on 02-18-21
By: Larry Loftis
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What Is a Dog?
- A Memoir
- By: Chloe Shaw
- Narrated by: Cissy Jones
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Chloe Shaw is in a dog house of her own choosing. A married mother with kids, the death of Booker, her children’s eldest family pet, has left her reeling and reckoning with her lifelong relationship with dogs. Unable to shake the feeling a year later, she asks her family for some time alone to be with nothing but her thoughts and remaining canines, Safari and Otter - only to find the dogs of her past pawing at her every memory and running, sticks in mouths, back into her life.
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Awesome narrator!
- By Tami on 10-12-21
By: Chloe Shaw
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Red
- A History of the Redhead
- By: Jacky Colliss Harvey
- Narrated by: Jacky Colliss Harvey
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Red is a brilliantly told, captivating history of red hair throughout the ages. An audiobook that breaks new ground, dispels myths, and reinforces the special nature of being a redhead, with a look at multiple disciplines, including science, religion, politics, feminism and sexuality, literature, and art. With an obsessive fascination that is as contagious as it is compelling, author Jacky Colliss Harvey (herself a redhead) begins her exploration of red hair in prehistory and traces the redhead gene as it made its way out of Africa with the early human diaspora.
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Pushing Past Stereotypes
- By Troy on 06-09-15
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What Southern Women Know (That Every Woman Should)
- By: Ronda Rich
- Narrated by: Ronda Rich
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The allure of Southern women is undeniable. Men are captivated by them, other women are mystified. Even the South's most treacherous enemy, General William Sherman, fell victim to the fluttery charms of a Georgia belle and loved her to the end of his life. So, what does a Southern woman have that other women do not possess?
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Southern charm yes; materialism no
- By kristy on 04-09-13
By: Ronda Rich
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More than a Woman
- By: Caitlin Moran
- Narrated by: Caitlin Moran
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The author of the international bestseller How to Be a Woman returns with another “hilarious neo-feminist manifesto” (NPR) in which she reflects on parenting, middle-age, marriage, existential crises—and, of course, feminism. As timely as it is hysterically funny, this memoir/manifesto will have listeners laughing out loud, blinking back tears, and redefining their views on feminism and the patriarchy. More Than a Woman is a brutally honest, scathingly funny, and absolutely necessary take on the life of the modern woman—one that only Caitlin Moran can provide.
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Sorry your life is miserable.
- By Belle on 09-08-21
By: Caitlin Moran
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Point of View
- A Fresh Look at Work, Faith, and Freedom
- By: Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Candace Cameron Bure - foreword
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Karissa Vacker
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Recognized from her roles on Survivor, The View, and Fox & Friends, celebrity Elisabeth Hasselbeck presents a deeply intimate journey of faith, told through the important moments in her life.
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Love this inspiring, amazing book!
- By Lorrie G Chavarria on 04-03-19
By: Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and others