Someone Other Than a Mother

Flipping the Scripts on a Woman's Purpose and Making Meaning beyond Motherhood

By: Erin S. Lane

Narrated by: Erin S. Lane

Theologian Erin S. Lane overturns dominant narratives about motherhood and inspires women to write their own stories.

Is it possible to do something more meaningful than mothering?

As a young Catholic girl who grew up in the American Midwest on white bread and Jesus, Erin S. Lane was given two options for a life well-lived: Mother or Mother Superior. She could marry a man and mother her own children, or she could marry God, so to speak, and mother the world’s children. Both were good outcomes for someone else’s life. Neither would fit the shape of hers.

Interweaving Lane’s story with those of other women—including singles and couples, stepparents and foster parents, the infertile and the ambivalent—Someone Other Than a Mother challenges the social scripts that put moms on an impossible pedestal and shame childless women and nontraditional families for not measuring up. You may have heard these lines before:

“Motherhood is the toughest job.” This script diminishes the work of non-moms and pressures moms to make parenting their full-time gig.

“It’ll be different with your own.” This script underestimates the love of nonbiological kin and pushes unfair expectations onto nuclear families.

“Family is the greatest legacy.” This script turns children into the ultimate sign of a woman’s worth and discounts the quieter ways we leave our mark.

With candor and verve, Someone Other Than a Mother tears up the shaming social scripts that are bad for moms and non-moms alike and rewrites the story of a life well-lived, one in which purpose is bigger than body parts, identity is fuller than offspring, and legacy is so much more than DNA.

Lovely

I appreciate that there are morsels of attempts at honoring the ways that privilege shows up in this narrative and the author's story.
This book touched beautifully on so many thoughts, feelings, and fears that I've had and still have. I'm tempted to stop referring to myself as childfree by choice and instead using Someone Other Than a Mother.
I'm so touched and grateful for this book. I'll be recommending it like crazy.
There were a lot of beautiful nuggets that made me pause just so I could sit with them; in my top three is "Love multiples whenever we take on a task that is too hard to go it alone and too worthy not to go it at all "

Everyone should read this!

If you are a human being, this book is relevant to you. Erin Lane is thoughtful, generous, and her narration is perfect.

I needed to hear this story.

My story is similar to Erin's, yet different. I am involuntarily childless, infertile. I was so depressed because I could not have biological children. I adopted at 52. I now don't like being called mom. Godmother is the title I like best. Her story resonated with me because I too believed I was not a real or complete woman because I didn't have children due to the narrative that is spoonfed to women our whole lives. I felt like God sent this book to my suggestions list to know that there are others who feel as I do. Yes, it is time to flip the script!