-
Seriously, Just Go to Sleep
- Narrated by: Mark Grandfield
- Length: 3 mins
- Categories: Children's Audiobooks, Animals & Nature
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Audible Premium Plus
$14.95 a month
Buy for $9.09
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Go the F--k to Sleep
- By: Adam Mansbach, Ricardo Cortes (cover illustration)
- Narrated by: Samuel L. Jackson
- Length: 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson ( Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
-
-
No Brainer
- By Joe on 01-23-13
By: Adam Mansbach, and others
-
I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)
- By: Stephen Colbert
- Narrated by: Tom Hanks, Stephen Colbert (introduction)
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The story of a pole, searching for his purpose in life. "The perfect gift to give a child or grandchild for their high school or college graduation. Also Father's Day. Also, other times."
—Stephen Colbert
-
-
Hold your sides, you'll be laughing so hard!
- By Laura on 07-07-12
By: Stephen Colbert
-
The Sleepysaurus
- A Read Aloud Bedtime Story for Kids Who Love Stories & Dinosaurs - For Helping Children Fall to Sleep (Bedtime Stories for Kids, Book 1)
- By: Jennifer Carter
- Narrated by: Rod Johnson
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your child struggle to fall asleep easily? Then this story about a dinosaur who struggles to fall asleep might be just the thing they need to help them fall asleep themselves. It's a relaxing story about a dinosaur who wants to fall asleep but can't until he's had a bedtime story. He visits each of his dinosaur friends, asking them to read him a bedtime story - until finally, he finds one who will read him a story.
-
-
not ideal for putting kids to sleep
- By Matt Miller on 05-27-19
By: Jennifer Carter
-
The Magic Unicorn: Bedtime Stories for Kids
- Short Funny, Fantasy Stories for Children and Toddlers to Help Them Fall Asleep and Relax. Fantastic Stories to Dream about for All Ages. Easy to Read.
- By: Sarah Doll
- Narrated by: Joana Garcia
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your child have difficulty falling asleep? Are you looking for a fun, soothing way to bond with your kids? Do you want to calm your child down, improve their vocabulary, reading and listening skills? If yes, then this little collection of spellbinding stories for kids can help you. In Bedtime Stories for Kids: The Magic Unicorn, you're going to discover a menagerie of interesting stories and memorable characters that are sure to catch the interest of your child, stimulate their imagination and take their budding creativity to new heights.
-
-
great for children
- By Christy on 02-18-20
By: Sarah Doll
-
Sunset
- By: The Big Quiet
- Narrated by: Jesse Israel, Jackie Cantwell
- Length: 25 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Immerse yourself in a guided breathwork exercise that leads you into a detailed body scan over music featuring chimes, an ocean drum, and the harmonium-like shruti. The experience creates the ideal blend of focus and relaxation to help you become more centered and calm at the end of the day.
-
-
Ouch
- By Laura on 07-01-20
By: The Big Quiet
-
Llama Llama Red Pajama and 19 Other Favorites
- Llama Llama Mad at Mama; Llama Llama Misses Mama; Llama Llama Holiday Drama; and More
- By: Anna Dewdney
- Narrated by: Anna Dewdney, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nineteen favorites from Anna Dewdney's best-selling Llama Llama series, many narrated by the author herself, plus Nelly Gnu and Daddy Too.
-
-
Cute - but for toddlers
- By Mari Davies on 11-05-18
By: Anna Dewdney
-
Go the F--k to Sleep
- By: Adam Mansbach, Ricardo Cortes (cover illustration)
- Narrated by: Samuel L. Jackson
- Length: 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson ( Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
-
-
No Brainer
- By Joe on 01-23-13
By: Adam Mansbach, and others
-
I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)
- By: Stephen Colbert
- Narrated by: Tom Hanks, Stephen Colbert (introduction)
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The story of a pole, searching for his purpose in life. "The perfect gift to give a child or grandchild for their high school or college graduation. Also Father's Day. Also, other times."
—Stephen Colbert
-
-
Hold your sides, you'll be laughing so hard!
- By Laura on 07-07-12
By: Stephen Colbert
-
The Sleepysaurus
- A Read Aloud Bedtime Story for Kids Who Love Stories & Dinosaurs - For Helping Children Fall to Sleep (Bedtime Stories for Kids, Book 1)
- By: Jennifer Carter
- Narrated by: Rod Johnson
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your child struggle to fall asleep easily? Then this story about a dinosaur who struggles to fall asleep might be just the thing they need to help them fall asleep themselves. It's a relaxing story about a dinosaur who wants to fall asleep but can't until he's had a bedtime story. He visits each of his dinosaur friends, asking them to read him a bedtime story - until finally, he finds one who will read him a story.
-
-
not ideal for putting kids to sleep
- By Matt Miller on 05-27-19
By: Jennifer Carter
-
The Magic Unicorn: Bedtime Stories for Kids
- Short Funny, Fantasy Stories for Children and Toddlers to Help Them Fall Asleep and Relax. Fantastic Stories to Dream about for All Ages. Easy to Read.
- By: Sarah Doll
- Narrated by: Joana Garcia
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your child have difficulty falling asleep? Are you looking for a fun, soothing way to bond with your kids? Do you want to calm your child down, improve their vocabulary, reading and listening skills? If yes, then this little collection of spellbinding stories for kids can help you. In Bedtime Stories for Kids: The Magic Unicorn, you're going to discover a menagerie of interesting stories and memorable characters that are sure to catch the interest of your child, stimulate their imagination and take their budding creativity to new heights.
-
-
great for children
- By Christy on 02-18-20
By: Sarah Doll
-
Sunset
- By: The Big Quiet
- Narrated by: Jesse Israel, Jackie Cantwell
- Length: 25 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Immerse yourself in a guided breathwork exercise that leads you into a detailed body scan over music featuring chimes, an ocean drum, and the harmonium-like shruti. The experience creates the ideal blend of focus and relaxation to help you become more centered and calm at the end of the day.
-
-
Ouch
- By Laura on 07-01-20
By: The Big Quiet
-
Llama Llama Red Pajama and 19 Other Favorites
- Llama Llama Mad at Mama; Llama Llama Misses Mama; Llama Llama Holiday Drama; and More
- By: Anna Dewdney
- Narrated by: Anna Dewdney, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nineteen favorites from Anna Dewdney's best-selling Llama Llama series, many narrated by the author herself, plus Nelly Gnu and Daddy Too.
-
-
Cute - but for toddlers
- By Mari Davies on 11-05-18
By: Anna Dewdney
-
Dragons Love Tacos
- By: Adam Rubin
- Narrated by: Adam Rubin
- Length: 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dragons love tacos. They love chicken tacos, beef tacos, great big tacos, and teeny tiny tacos. So if you want to lure a bunch of dragons to your party, you should definitely serve tacos. Buckets and buckets of tacos. Unfortunately, where there are tacos, there is also salsa. And if a dragon accidentally eats spicy salsa...oh, boy. You're in red-hot trouble.
-
-
For my daughters
- By Loren on 02-14-21
By: Adam Rubin
-
Equanimity
- By: Bram Barouh
- Narrated by: Bram Barouh
- Length: 11 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With the friendly guidance of Bram Barouh, allow yourself to momentarily release your hold on turbulent thoughts and feelings as you practice finding your essential equanimity - being okay with what is, as it is. Bram, a mindfulness educator, has a lighthearted nature and approachable wisdom that makes practicing meditation seem effortless. With his guidance, it's never been easier to take part in a moment of positive thinking.
-
-
excellent
- By Steve Lee, Sr. on 06-17-20
By: Bram Barouh
-
Whose Boat Is This Boat?
- Comments That Don't Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane
- By: The Staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
- Narrated by: Stephen Colbert
- Length: 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Whose Boat Is This Boat? Comments That Don’t Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane is made entirely of quotations from President Donald Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence. It is the first children's book that demonstrates what not to say after a natural disaster. On September 19, 2018, Donald Trump paid a visit to New Bern, North Carolina, one of the towns ravaged by Hurricane Florence. It was there he showed deep concern for a boat that washed ashore. "At least you got a nice boat out of the deal," said President Trump to hurricane victims.
-
-
Yes our president says things like this.
- By robert on 11-16-18
-
Ground Yourself
- By: Sara Auster
- Narrated by: Sara Auster, Alex Falk
- Length: 19 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gently place your attention on the steady low-pitched thrum of a gong, while chimes and bells add layers of tones to create a deeply relaxing and immersive sound experience. In order to get the most out of your listening experience, pioneering sound therapist Sara Auster recommends you dim the lights and lie down or sit in a comfortable position with an eye mask and a blanket, silence any alerts or notifications, and use earphones. These things allow you to completely unplug and connect with the present moment to intentionally prepare for sleep.
-
-
Evil Lair Soundtrack - Not particularlyrelaxing
- By Sci-Fi Zombie on 06-24-20
By: Sara Auster
-
Bedtime Stories for Kids, Book 1: A Collection of Meditation Stories to Help Children Fall Asleep Fast, Learn Mindfulness, and Thrive
- By: Mindfulness Habits Team, Marisa Imon
- Narrated by: Marisa Imon
- Length: 3 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Does your child have a hard time falling asleep at night? Would you like your child to learn essential mindfulness skills that will allow them to thrive in life? For kids, the unfortunate consequences of growing up in our busy, tech-connected society is that human connection suffers, focus suffers, mental health suffers, and sleep suffers. Mindfulness practices are a scientifically proven to improve all of the above.
-
-
good stories but it's not as long as you think
- By Austin Platt on 08-01-19
By: Mindfulness Habits Team, and others
-
Frozen Storybook Collection
- By: Disney Book Group
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 2 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Frozen Storybook Collection is a must-have for any Frozen fan! Join Elsa, Anna, Olaf, and friends for adventure, mystery, and fairy tale fun in 27 exciting stories, including nine audiobook-exclusive bonus stories.
-
-
The Story Continues
- By Joshua M. Blue on 08-07-17
-
If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
- A Parody for Adults
- By: Marcy Roznick
- Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
- Length: 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
-
-
Did any of the previous reviewers ACTUALLY LISTEN?
- By Jim on 02-01-12
By: Marcy Roznick
-
The Tea Shoppe
- By: Josie Adams
- Narrated by: Nicola Barber
- Length: 40 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Eleanor, the charming manager of a cozy tea shop, enjoys the transportive ritual of making a cup of Masala Chai tea, reminisces about the tea's origins, and delights in the beauty of her quaint English village during the holidays. Bedtime stories are narrated by the world's most celebrated voices and written with no beginning, middle, or end so you don't stay up to hear what happens next. They're interesting enough to give your mind something to focus on, but delivered in a way that encourages sleep.
-
-
British perspective
- By Amazon Customer on 06-17-20
By: Josie Adams
-
Go de Rass to Sleep (A Jamaican Translation)
- By: Adam Mansbach
- Narrated by: Shaggy
- Length: 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Go de Rass to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award - winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar - and unspoken - tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations and laugh at their absurdity.
-
-
Perfect!
- By Iysis on 01-25-18
By: Adam Mansbach
-
How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight?
- By: Jane Yolen
- Narrated by: Jane Yolen
- Length: 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Few words pack a lot of punch in this delightful story about bedtime rituals. There will be no pouting or shouting or moping or moaning when the lights go out because dinosaur kids everywhere will want to see this production again and again.
-
-
Great book for kids
- By pat hurd on 11-04-19
By: Jane Yolen
-
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Presents a Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo
- By: Marlon Bundo, Jill Twiss
- Narrated by: Jim Parsons, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Jeff Garlin, and others
- Length: 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
HBO's Emmy-winning Last Week Tonight with John Oliver presents the story of a Very Special boy bunny who falls in love with another boy bunny. Meet Marlon Bundo, a lonely bunny who lives with his Grampa, Mike Pence - the Vice President of the United States. But on this Very Special Day, Marlon's life is about to change forever....
-
-
This story is cute, but let's be honest.
- By João on 03-19-18
By: Marlon Bundo, and others
-
365 Bedtime Stories
- By: Disney Press
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 14 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Listen along as Woody and the gang go on a campout; Anna, Elsa, and Olaf have a slumber party; Pongo puts his puppies to bed; and more! With one story for every day of the year, bedtime has never been so much fun.
-
-
DISAPPOINTED
- By Amazon Customer on 12-31-19
By: Disney Press
Publisher's Summary
Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated, traditional-sized, children's version of the book every parent has been talking about. Go the F*** to Sleep, the picture book for adults, became a cultural sensation by striking a universal chord for parents. Now, Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Corts reunite with Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, inviting the children themselves in on the joke. As parents know, kids are well aware of how difficult they can be at bedtime. With Mansbach's new child-appropriate narrative, the book allows kids to recognize their tactics, giggle at their own mischievousness, and empathize with their parents' struggles - a perspective most children's books don't capture. Most importantly, it provides a common ground for children and their parents to talk about one of the most stressful aspects of parenting.
Seriously, Just Go to Sleep came to be when Mansbach read a highly censored rendition of the original book to his three-year-old daughter, and she recognized herself as the culprit and was delighted. "We were getting a lot of feedback from parents, saying that their kids loved the book - read in an altered form - because they recognized themselves in the character of the mischievous kid who's winning the bedtime battle, and thought it was hilarious. So we figured we’d do a companion volume that lets kids in on the fun."
More from the same
What listeners say about Seriously, Just Go to Sleep
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Arnav Anshul 7
- 10-24-18
This is an amazing book with appropriate language
This is an amazing book with appropriate language. I listen to this book over and over again
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- xujhie
- 01-22-14
FINALLY, HAD A GOOD BOOK.
This book is better that "GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP".
PS
what I noticed is: The narrator is really sleepy. :)
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Trialia
- 03-02-15
Terrible, & the reader sounds just plain bored!
Okay, so this is a bowdlerisation of the picture book for adults, "Go the F*** to Sleep". It's supposed to be a version with all the swearing & blasphemy edited out.
That would be fair enough ... but that's not all the editing that's been done. It's been almost entirely rewritten, and I wouldn't have wanted to touch this version with a ten-foot bargepole had I realised how bad it was. Even I could have edited GTFTS into a better clean version than this rubbish, and I don't consider myself a professional!
On top of that, the man assigned to narrate this version is utterly abysmal at the job - he sounds more bored than someone watching paint dry as he speaks the lines as though he's hardly awake, and his feeling for any kind of rhythm and rhyme in what he's reading is simply nonexistent. It's embarrassing just to listen to him.
I know some parents are iffy about exposing their kids to swear-words in the original, but my honest advice to them is this: either forego reading the book to your kids entirely or do your own editing as you read, because it <i>cannot</i> be worse than this.
3 people found this helpful