Secure Love

Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

De: Julie Menanno

Narrado por: Julie Menanno

Create a lasting and loving attachment with this national bestseller, a “must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) from the expert couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment theory has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it’s also the closest science has come to making sense of our adult romantic connections.

In this book Julie Menanno, the expert behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, tackles:
-Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it’s called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
-“Instead of that, say this” suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in your relationship more effectively.
-The four attachment types, with exercises to understand you and your partner’s attachment style.
-How to improve communication, including staying connected during conflict by prioritizing vulnerability rather than protecting yourself.
-Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple’s sex life and how to ignite that sexual connection.

Secure Love is a crash course in understanding how you show up in a relationship and guides you on getting out of negative cycles to find safety in one another. In doing so, “you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship” (Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and bestselling author of Hold Me Tight) and establish a secure attachment with your partner to create the bond you’ve been longing for.

Clear explanations and actionable content

The author’s emphasis on progress, not perfection, and her respect for both “sides” and their concerns is really helpful. 

Know your attachment style

Top takeaways

TO FEEL CLOSE TO YOU I NEED…
THE GOAL IS TO LEARN TO STAY CONNECTED DURING DISAGREEMENTS
Provide comfort over advice
Conflict leading to being heard
Triggers set off unconscious emotions of primal protection
WHEN TRIGGERED, PAUSE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SEE WHY YOUR TRIGGERED (what feeling) AND WHAT IT IS YOU DESIRE SO YOU MAY RESPOND AND NOT REACT
When anger is heard and validated, it no longer has to fight to be seen.

Solid and thorough book on attachment & relationships.

I really loved this book. Julie is thorough, knowledgeable, compassionate and clear about attachment and relationships. I am looking forward to using this in my own relationships and with my clients.

Brilliant

If you’re looking to understand attachment styles or maybe you’re desperate for answers to improve your relationship - look more further.

Julie’s ability to communicate and teach on this complex topic is simply brilliant.

Simply put, if you have ever felt “off” in your body and rarely, if ever, have words to articulate it then this book is for you.

It’s is easy to listen to and there is wisdom throughout. Thanks, Julie!

Enjoy!

Excellent book to better yourself and your relationships

I’ve followed Julie Menanno for a while now and have learned so much more about attachment theory. I had read the founder of EFT’a book and this one is even better with step by step guides to heal your childhood wounds and better yourself relationship with yourself and others. You’ll be the best partner and best parent once you put in this work!