STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John....
In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry....
Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine....
Angry that he wouldn't be known as the engineer who made Ultraweapon's force blasters, Cal resigns to chase after a bigger, better paycheck....
Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore....
When a spaceship landed in an open field in the quiet mill town of Sorrow Falls, Massachusetts, everyone realized humankind was not alone in the universe....
Bob Johansson has just sold his software company and is looking forward to a life of leisure....
Nothing ever changes in Sanders. The town's still got a video store, for God's sake. So why doesn't Eli Teague want to leave? Find out....
In 1988, 43-year-old Jeff Winston died of a heart attack. But then he awoke, and it was 1963; Jeff was 18 all over again....
From the number-one New York Times best-selling author of the Mistborn Trilogy, Brandon Sanderson, comes the first book in a new, action-packed thrill ride of a series - Steelheart....
For eons, conquering dungeons has been the most efficient way to become a strong adventurer. Although not everything is as straightforward as it seems....
A tour-de-force novel set in ancient Japan filled with passion, fantasy, and feuding warlords.
In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace....
When Ben, a suburban family man, takes a business trip to rural Pennsylvania, he decides to spend the afternoon before his dinner meeting on a short hike....
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one....
One starship will either save Earth or destroy her. A century ago our star erupted, destroying Earth's wormhole network and closing off trade with her colonized planets....
A posthumous recipient of the World Fantasy Award for Lifetime Achievement, Marion Zimmer Bradley reinvented - and rejuvenated - the King Arthur mythos with her extraordinary Mists of Avalon series....
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly....
In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous.
Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way. There she finds that her scumbag dad had actually, in the final years of his life, put his amazing talent for hustling to good use: He was one of the founding members of the Fancy Suits and died in the course of his duties. Zoey is quickly entangled in the city's surreal mob war when she is taken hostage by a particularly crazy villain who imagines himself to be a Dr. Doom-level mastermind. The villain is demanding information about Zoe's father when she is rescued by The Fancy Suits. She reluctantly joins their cause and helps finish what her old man started, tapping in to her innate talent for bullshit that she inherited from her hated father. And along the way, she might just have to learn how to trust people again.
I have read several books by David Wong before, and so I was very excited to start this one. A few minutes in, it was clear that it was in his usual style, that slightly vulgar, but still hysterical style that he wrote John Dies in the End, etc.
The story is in a futuristic place, where cars drive themselves and cell phones project holograms of the callers, but it’s still familiar enough that the characters can hit the Wendy’s drive-thru for some chili or botch an at-home hair dying job. Wong does a great job striking the perfect balance of the two. There are so many twists and turns, so hold on to the seat of your voice controlled car, and enjoy the ride.
Whether or not you’ve read any other books by David Wong before, this one will not disappoint, it’s a great book and a ton of fun to listen to.
19 of 22 people found this review helpful
This is a shockingly bad book. The plot has enough holes in it to move an entire armored convoy through, the characters are two dimensional, and Zoe appears to be suicidally deranged. Add to this bad dudes that are epic unless confronted by her and you have something that not only doesn't hold up, it bores you to tears while doing so. P.S. Don't blame this on the narrator. She actually did as good a job as anyone could do with this material.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
True to David Wong's quirky, fast-paced, oddball, edge-of-bad-taste, addictive writing style, this book was a fun romp of a tale. It wasn't quite as good as John Dies at the End, but it was well worth a listen. Chubby 22 year old barista Zoey is snatched out of her plebian trailer-park existence and away from her 38 year old stripper mother, and thrust into a high-stakes adventure to determine the estate of her suddenly-departed very rich celebrity father. Everybody wants her as she is apparently the key to her father's wealth and to the secret behind robotic body modifications that give normal people super-abilities. Zoey had nothing but disdain for her father and his ill-gotten millions, and wants nothing more than to escape the madness - but no one is allowing her to walk away. Who does she trust and how will she worm her way out of this mess?
The plot is convoluted, twisty, violent, flashy, absurd, and moves along at breakneck speed. You barely have time to question the craziness of the plot and you just try to hang on and appreciate the humorous moments. Zoey, of course, has deeper reserves of survival instinct and intelligence than she knew she had, and in the end, manages to wrestle control of the situation.
The book is really violent and often the characters act in bad taste, but Zoey is a decently feminist lead character and manages to call out the (good and) bad guys on their failings and small-mindedness, and you find yourself liking her more and more as the book continues.
Christy Romano's audio narration is snappy and well-suited to this book. It helped me enjoy the story and kept me listening when I would have put a print copy of this book down.
11 of 14 people found this review helpful
I had avoided David Wong books under the impression that they were mostly horror, but picked this one up on a whim - I am really glad I did. This was an excellent near-future thriller that felt like a comic book movie, one that was not afraid of some (lightweight) satirical social commentary, but is mostly about slick gangsters, super villains, McGuffins, and excellently written dialogue. It is also surprisingly funny, to the degree that I actually laughed out loud a couple of times.
Holding it together is the amazing reading of Christy Romano, who does character voices on par with the best readings I have heard on Audible, and brings even the most cartoonish of the characters to life. This important because, while the central figures in the story are well-rounded and interesting, many of the characters are a bit light on motivation, existing mostly as foils for jokes or action. There is also occasionally some dissonance in the contrasts between the (occasionally horrific) violence described in the book and the frequent use of humor in the face of disturbing scenes.
These are relatively minor flaws, since the book is at its best when considered as a comic book in novel form - I really enjoyed it.
27 of 36 people found this review helpful
What disappointed you about Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits?
I LOVED "This book is full of spiders". It was probably one of my highlight books so far this year. I can't get John dies in the end in my country so I was thrilled to find another David Wong book. But it really flopped for me. You have to suspend belief regardless with David Wong books, as I'm guessing absurd comes with the territory. I think that in the 4 hours I listened to, I cracked a smile once. At that point, I didn't care either way what happened to the main character. About then, it was time to stop.
What could David Wong have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
I'm not sure. Some other reviewers loved it, so it worked for them. It started out promising, followed by stupid decisions, and then characters that were unlikeable.
Would you be willing to try another one of Christy Romano’s performances?
Not a. chance. One of the, Worst. readers I've ever listened to. Stopping at random times, and sounding like she was finishing a sentence, when it was only half done, made it such an irritating listen.
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
A mixture of boredom and irritation.
Any additional comments?
This is only the second book of David Wong that I have tried, so I would probably try others if they were available, but this just failed to meet expectations.
6 of 8 people found this review helpful
story: grabbed me by the lip and proceeded to reel me in, by the time the hook was in deep enough I was dragged through a extremely boring middle, and a deus ex machina ending.
Wong did have a few really awesome concepts and an amazing voice for the script, but it just wasn't enough to hold up the narrative.
narrator: I enjoyed her voice for awhile, but soon I began to dread her interpretation of character's. voices as she read. i felt that most villains in her mind were annoying nerds with a mean streak instead of menacing psychopaths, and the Big Bad's voice was the apex of annoying.
Her pronunciation was on point though, and her diction left nothing to want otherwise.
8 of 11 people found this review helpful
When I found out this wasn't a continuation of the David and John saga, I was slightly disappointed. This disappointment turned out to be unjustified. David Wong is great at weaving ridiculousness and humor throughout his stories. I would like to formally apologize for doubting him. The story was good, full of heartfelt moments, serious introspection into human nature, and Wong's trademark hilarity. The narrator did a great job of giving each character not just a voice, but a cadence and speech pattern that perfectly matched their personalities. Overall, it was a great experience that will make David Wong fans feel at home as well as appealing to fans of sci-fi and crime dramas. I highly recommend this title.
18 of 26 people found this review helpful
The narrator did a great reading of this very mediocre book. I read the description which was too long (not a good sign) and got one impression: a somewhat humorous book inspred by superhero yarns that focuses on a group of negotiators. Interesting spin! But it isn't that! If this is a series this must be the origin. But this negotiation angle doesn't ever work in the plot. the book is also full of immature, shallow humor good for middle school. The main antagonist sounds like The turtle from finding Nemo... but not as interesting. It is also the case of a male writer featuring a female lead who cannot help but over-sexualuze her. Too many scenes in the bathroom, too many panty references,... there's not that many actual sex scenes but that is because this book is not even mature enough for that! The beginning is pretty good as a setup but I just got tired of it.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
The performance was great, Christy Romano really nailed all of the characters and various accents. The story was pretty underwhelming, the plot was great for the first half, but as it got closer and closer to the end it becomes more like a mad scramble to pull loose ends together and ultimately just feels like a cheap cop out.
It's been a while since I've come away from a book and thought the ending ruined the whole thing, and that about sums up my feelings here.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
it was "ok" but I guess the story is already dated, to a degree. I tried, I really tried to like it.
character development was lacking a lot of useless stuff was drawn out.
there were some surprise turns that helped shift the predictability of the story, but it just want enough.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
This was a great story for me. I was initially upset to find out that it was not the third book in the David and John stories. However here he has created a great new world populated by interesting characters. The humour remains sharp if a little childish, but if you like wongs work as an author and writer for cracked that's what you will enjoy. The narration on the whole was enjoyable, but at times a little inconsistent. despite this I would like to hear more books read by Romano. In short I now have two book series' to look forward to from Wong.
5 of 8 people found this review helpful
Great story, utterly ruined by the narrator who destroyed the clever writing by stressing the wrong words in the sentences.
I love David Wong's books. I love how the main character is almost a whimsical mesh of 'don't care', sarcasm and wit. But, this book, although had that element wasn't as crazy, or tense or as weird as some of the other books.
Nevertheless, if you like witty fun books, this is defiantly worth a go. I will always buy and read / listen to all of David Wong's books. But John Dies at the End and A Book Full of Spiders i felt were better.
really enjoyed this book the world it depicted was realistic yet fantastical and we'll research and the narration went a long way to help make the characters feel real the only downside is we spend to a bit too much time with the antagonist after a while he gets monotonous
This is overall pretty fricking good. Expertly read, with good character voices. Bring it on David wong
Really fun novel. Christy Romano does a great job bringing characters to life in this Audiobook
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
A great future Tech story made awesome by a solid reading performance. Well worth it.
What did you like best about this story?
I loved that the story kept dancing on the line between serious and silly! with some really shocking bits in between
What does Christy Romano bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?
Her character voices were spot on, I sometimes forgot that I was only listening to one person
Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
This book had me laughing out loud at parts that not only surprised me, but the people sitting behind me on the bus...
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
Not really - wish I'd read the hard copy
Who might you have cast as narrator instead of Christy Romano?
someone with a better narrative voice and doesn't sound like she is reading to a 4 year old
0 of 2 people found this review helpful