• Nick, Very Deeply

  • 8 Million Hearts, Book 5
  • By: Spencer Spears
  • Narrated by: Michael Fell
  • Length: 15 hrs and 54 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: Romance
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (30 ratings)
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Publisher's Summary

They say soulmates don’t exist. But they’ve never met Nick Sawyer....

Eli: In my defense, I didn’t think I’d see Nick again. If I had, I would never have kissed him.

I got a fake ID because I was bored, not because I planned on meeting anyone. But from the moment I saw Nick - all tall, dark, and librarian-y, with hardcover books falling out of his messenger bag and eyes that made me forget how to breathe - I knew I needed to know him better.

So maybe I told a little white lie about my birthday. And maybe I went into the city again, and again, just so I could run into him. And maybe, on that last morning, I kissed him, because I knew it was good-bye.

Except, turns out, it wasn’t. Whoops.

Only now, I have to spend the rest of the year working with Nick, and it’s clear he wishes we’d never met. He says I have to move on, but the more I get to know him, the more impossible that seems. How do you move on from someone as strong and smart and sweet as Nick? How do you get over the first person who’s told you that you matter?

And what the hell do you do when, out of nowhere, he kisses you again?

“I can’t keep fighting this. I need you. I need us.”

Nick: I tried to keep my distance. I tried to forget that kiss. I tried to remind myself how dangerous it was, just being around Eli. How much I was putting in jeopardy.

I tried...but I never stood a chance.

Eli is everything I’m not. Reckless and wild, where all I’ve ever been is cautious. Open and loving, where I’ve only ever been scared. Willing to take risks, to be vulnerable, to be brave. I want to be brave enough to deserve him.

I know it’s wrong, but before I know it, I’ve fallen for this crazy, beautiful boy and his ocean-blue eyes. Before I know it, I’m kissing him again.

“I’d take it all back if I could.” That’s what I’m supposed to say. But the truth is, I wouldn’t. I would choose Eli every time.

Even if it means losing everything.

Nick, Very Deeply is book five in the 8 Million Hearts series. While each book can be listened to on its own, they're even more fun to listen together. Nick, Very Deeply is a m/m romance, full of snark, sweetness, and a healthy serving of steam. Teacher/student and hurt/comfort themes with a delicious slow burn. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed HEA.

©2018 Spencer Spearsq (P)2020 Spencer Spears

What listeners say about Nick, Very Deeply

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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A sweet opposites attract, hurt comfort romance!

This was a sweet angsty, opposites attract age gap romance.

This is the last book in the series and can be read as a standalone.
Although I do recommend reading it in the series order.

Nick and Eli were sweet together and suited well despite their age differences

The narration was enjoyable and engaging

2 people found this helpful

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A rollercoaster of emotions

This is another beautiful book by Spencer Spears. Eli and Nick first met when they were waiting for the same train and the attraction between them was instant. But when they unexpectedly meet outside of the station they find their budding romance has become a lot more challenging as Nick is a new mentor at a church youth group and discovers that Eli is still at high school. The push and pull of emotions in this book is beautifully portrayed, there’s the age gap, the forbidden relationship, facing being separated when Eli goes to college out of state, and Nick’s need as the older partner to do the right thing by Eli. Both men go through the rollercoaster of intense love they have when they’re together and the emotional devastation of not being together. This is a slow burn romance that both men have to fight hard for. The characters are sweet, gentle and vulnerable, and they sweep you along in their story. Michael Fell does an amazing job as narrator and really brings the emotions to life.

I received an arc of this audiobook and am voluntarily leaving an honest and unbiased review

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You taught me how to fall in love


I am always a fan girl of forbidden romance. I know romance itself is hard enough to bloom these days in this materialistic world but adding a forbidden fruit touch makes it so much sweeter.

Eli is a 19 years old teenager who is a high school senior. When he met Nick, obviously, he didn’t tell him that he’s a student. And when Nick found out his lover is also his student, it put him in a place of great responsibility. He thought he had found THE one. But this is a love that has to achieve over so many hurdles.

Eli wasn’t going to be Nick’s student forever. And he’s also leaving to another town for university and Nick was staying in their hometown. Obviously, there are a lot of things they had to go through before they can be together. And I’m truly happy for that because it just makes me more expectant and anticipates about their happy ending.

4 You taught me how to fall in love stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️


Audio rating

Story - 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Narration - 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Performance - 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Overall - 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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Lovely!

I really loved the ebook version of this one from Spencer Spears but the audio was devine! Beautifully done with a great storyline... you can't get much better than this!

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Long but worth the listen

Nick and Eli meet And feel an immediate connection despite their age difference only to discover that their relationship should not be. But the heart wants what the heart wants and through many ups and downs Nick and Eli find the balance so they can have their happily ever after.The story is very good - due to the length there were a couple of points I felt the story was a little drawn out but overall this was a very enjoyable listen. The narrator was absolutely fabulous. Probably the best one I have ever listen to. He made you feel like you were right there in the friend group going through the ups and downs with Nick and Eli. As long as you’re a fan of longer books I feel this is definitely a must listen

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A Great Story with Terrific Narration

I have not read the previous books of this series, and this one does stand alone, but I couldn't help wondering what the stories were with the established couples that appear in this book. Reading this well-told love story between Eli and Nick has motivated me to seek the others out as well.

When Nick and Eli meet briefly one morning at the train station, there's interest sparking between them right away. Eli determines to see Nick again and goes to the station two more times. Since he believes he'll never see Nick again after these few meetings, he lets Nick think he's in college. He's actually in high school (but he's 19 so it's not like THAT). A few weeks later they find themselves in an advisor/advisee situation. Will this new wrinkle doom the relationship before it starts?

There are a few themes (tropes?) at play in Spears' story. It's a slow-burn romance, thankfully not with contrived and overwrought angst. It is believable in the context of the story Spears is telling. The age-gap, while not terribly large, is an obstacle for Nick. He feels like he's taking advantage of the younger Eli. This becomes more troubling to Nick when he becomes an advisor to Eli's church youth group. That's where a smidgen of forbidden-love comes into play. Nick is extremely wary of the power imbalance that could exist between them, while Eli doesn't give it much thought at all. That's where the opposites-attract theme running throughout the book makes the most impact. Eli is bold, brash and even reckless at times and Nick stays safe in routine and could be considered boring by some. All of these elements combine to tell an emotionally charged story of conquering one's fears and letting love in despite the vulnerability it creates.

I loved Michael Fell's narration from the start. His perfect voice acting brings this story to life. I especially loved the snarky sarcastic tone he brings to Eli's part of the story.

I received a free review copy of this audiobook, at my request, and have written this voluntary opinion.

Recommended.

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Nick and Eli

Nick, Very Deeply is book 5 in the 8 Million Hearts series. This is a sweet, slow burn, a little angsty, emotional, age gap story. Eli,19, is still in high school when he meets Nick. Even though Nick is older than Eli they have great chemistry together. Nick has issues with Eli's age thinking he will find someone else once he starts college so Nick breaks things off before he can get hurt but just hurts them both in the process. I love this book and the journey it took Nick to realize how much he loved Eli and that it really was okay for them to be together because they were miserable apart. Definitely recommend this book and series.
Narrator Michael Fell does a marvelous job.

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Wonderfully Narrated Emotional Slow-Burn Romance

At nearly 16 hours, "Nick, Very Deeply" takes slow-burn romance to a new level and there's enough (very well-written) emotional angst and MC inner turmoil for several books. Seeing their seven-year age gap and his role as a church youth advisor as relationship barriers, Nick internally struggles with maintaining a platonic friendship with 19-year-old Eli while denying their intense mutual attraction.

As feelings deepen, mixed messages send them both on an emotional rollercoaster and their struggles and emotions feel very real. While I think Nick's morality concerns are a bit overblown, given he and Eli are both adults, I felt for him and was rooting hard for him and Eli (who is an open-hearted sweetie) to find happiness together. This story is a heartfelt relationship deep-dive with well-developed MCs to care about and the lead up to their HEA is very heartwarming.

I don't normally go for audio books this long, but narrator Michael Fell made this listen so enjoyable with an emotionally rich performance that had me feeling this story alongside the characters. I received this free review copy audio book by request and have left this honest review voluntarily.

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Just ok

The narrator had a pleasant enough voice. He sounded age appropriate considering the main character Eli was 19. He kept good pace. He read enthusiastically and expressed the emotions but he didn't differentiate the characters voices enough for my liking so it was just an ok performance to me.

This book is really long and I normally wouldn't mind that but this could of been cut down alot. Too many repeat conversations and situations and the dialogue is just really wordy. I wasn't feeling the connection between the main characters at all. The mother was too overbearing, Eli was too immature and didn't stand up for himself despite being 19 and Nick spent way too much time treating Eli like a kid.

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Sweet Story

I have enjoyed listening to the books in this series. Nick and Eli were interesting characters and I enjoy stories with an age gap. I love Michael Fell's narration. He has a very enjoyable voice.

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  • Overall
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  • Emma Burbidge
  • 02-21-21

Slow burn romance

It was a decent narration by a narrator I haven't previously heard.
I've not read any of the previous books, but this can stand alone as the characters who appear in this from a previous book don't need to know the fine details of their story to get their involvement as friends to one of the MCs in this story.
I did get annoyed with the main characters a couple of times for being dense or pig-headed in their dealings with each other, but it was otherwise a decent story if a bit too long-winded in places.

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  • Rebekah
  • 01-24-21

Enjoyed

I enjoyed this slow burn romance that went through some real issues and circumstances for them both to deal with.

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  • Amelia
  • 01-19-21

An angsty, messy love story

Nick and Eli's romance wasn't a fairytale, but their refreshing realism made me appreciate this story even more. I wasn't a huge fan of how this audio started--all the time jumps made me a bit confused about how Nick and Eli met for the first time--but as I listened further, I quickly became invested in this angsty, messy love story. Eli was one of those characters who made a lot of hasty assumptions and mistakes, but I could sense that his kind heart was always motivating his actions. It took me a lot longer to warm up to Nick, mainly because his repressed emotions and control issues came across as overbearing for the first half of the story. After Nick finally stopped freaking out about the conflict of interest between him and Eli, I started to see the kind man hiding behind his exterior. That being said, I have to admit that Nick and Eli's secrecy got old very fast. I guess I've gotten used to reading romances where the characters have to confront the things they're afraid of very quickly, and that was not the case for these men. It also felt incredibly unbelievable that Eli's parents were so absentee that they didn't notice him sneaking away to see Nick for months and months. I knew it was only a matter of time before everything fell apart for these guys, because a relationship based on secrecy is nearly impossible to sustain. That didn't make my heart break any less when these two were going through their roughest patch. I think the emotional turmoil was necessary to help Nick and Eli evaluate what was most important to them, but those chapters were downright depressing to listen to. Through all the ups and downs, Michael Fell's narration was on-point. In times where the actual words Nick and Eli were saying felt overly dramatic, Michael's expressive portrayal helped me connect to the story and see where they were coming from.

**I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this book. This review expresses my honest thoughts and opinions.

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  • Allison's Book Corner
  • 01-18-21

Awesome

I really love this series.
This audiobook had me hooked from the beginning and I couldn’t put it down.
This is such a great addition to a really great series.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Susie Umphers
  • 01-18-21

Another gem in the series

You're never sure where a romance that starts with one main character lying to the other is going to go. Usually that puts me off the character for a good while in a story. Here, however, I understood Eli, and couldn't dislike him. Nick, I immediately loved as I'm a sucker for the cautious, scared guy with a bag full of books. The age gap didn't bother me here, in fact it made the behavior of both men fall into place for me. Watching these two find a way to tell the truth, overcome their internal barriers and find their way to the HEA was just lovely. I have been a huge fan of Michael Fell since I first heard his performance in book one of this series, Adam's Song. He just seems to "get" all the characters in this series and capture all their fears, hesitations and desires as well as the joy when they finally get together.

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  • Magnus
  • 01-18-21

Great

Spencer Spears did a fantastic job with Eli & Nick's story. The whole series is brilliant and Nick, Very Deeply is no different. It is nice to sometimes get a longer story when you love the characters and want more time with them. Michael Fell did an amazing job with the narration.
This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.

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  • alias11
  • 01-18-21

Emotion and dramatic, but overlong

I have been eagerly waiting for Nick's book. He was always this sweet, somewhat mysterious, calm, counselor type who showed up to offer comfort and advice when the other characters needed it. He was secretive, especially about his love life, and I wanted to know more. I loved Nick and Eli, but the book went a little long, and dragged in parts. Since the book drags, the audiobook does too, although the narration by Mr. Fell was excellent. Nick's back and forth with Eli got annoying. I felt like he was leading Eli on sometimes. If you can't get yourself straightened out and commit, just let the other person go. It will hurt, but they will get over it. I wanted Eli and Nick together, but in the end I just didn't feel like they will make it in the long run, so it felt more HFN than HEA.

I received a free copy of this audiobook and am voluntarily leaving this honest review.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Pixiebell
  • 01-18-21

Nick, Very Deeply

Spencer Spears has again performed magic with their fifth book in the 8 Million Hearts series, as with the other books in this series you can listen to it as a standalone but I can’t recommend the whole series enough.
Spencer has given us tantalising peeks into Nick throughout the series and his story was probably the one I most anticipated and I certainly wasn’t disappointed.
Nick and Eli’s journey is not an easy one but the sweet slow burn is beautifully written and with Michael Fell to bring the characters alive I have no problem giving this five stars all round.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Mari Cardenas
  • 01-18-21

Too long...

While I liked Nick and Eli, I can't say I was all that invested in their story. The first 2/3rds got dragged a little too much for my liking and I found myself ffwding through it because there's only so many repetitive inner thoughts/conversations I can listen to without wanting to scream. Still, I kind of persevered and it got better in the last third of the book, even if by then it was really difficult actually feeling connected to the main characters. --- Michael Fell did a great job with the narration, his voice is very pleasant, and frankly, it was he who made me interested enough in finishing the book. So kudos to him.

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  • Erryn Barratt
  • 01-17-21

When Love is Forbidden

Okay, so this was my first Spencer Spears audio and I promise it will not be the last. Wow. Just, wow.

When I say forbidden love, I should be clear. Teacher/student is always a power imbalance. Depending on the age of the student, it might also be illegal. This book skirts that line. Eli is nineteen – a fairly mature nineteen – but he’s also a high school senior. For obvious reasons he doesn’t disclose this to Nick, and when Nick is put in a position of responsibility over Eli, he knows it’s wrong. How Nick acts after this discovery can be seen through several lenses and I leave it up to the reader to decide how they feel about his decision.

But obviously he’s not going to be Eli’s teacher forever and the question is – once the power dynamic dissipates…what then? Well, this is a sixteen-hour audio, so obviously they get together. And this is a romance so it has a happy ending. But it is, to be sure, a struggle to get there. Eli is a sensitive soul, and that called to me on so many levels. Misunderstood by his caring but clueless parents, his friends take better care of him. And when he and Nick connect? It brings a whole new level of love to his life.

But there are obstacles. Nick is reluctant to introduce Eli to his friends because of their former association. And Eli is planning to attend Rencliffe College in Minnesota. Nick has to stay in New Jersey for heartbreaking reasons. How’s that supposed to work? I wondered if the relationship might become long-distance for the time it took Eli to get a degree, but I knew his emotional state would be too fragile for that. How to overcome the distance? The differences? Nick is studying a Master’s of Divinity with an eye toward ordination. He knows religion is his path, and he’s had many placements, be he hasn’t settled on what a career might look like. Will he find guidance to lead him to a successful career path?

Finally, this is book 5 in a series and I admit to not having read the previous four. No worries at all. Aside from the fact Nick has close friends who obviously had stories of their own, I was never lost. Never at sea. This story is truly rooted in Nick and Eli. In them finding their own happily ever after. Finding a future that works for both of them.

I want to mention the firs chapter. It was an hour. Near the end of it, I’d decided the whole book must be in Eli’s point of view. Never fear, Nick eventually got his turn. But wow it took a while to get there. The structure of the book – with alternating POV chapters – worked, it just took time to settle into that routine. Just a heads-up.

Did I sigh happily at the end of the epilogue? I might have. Will I go back and pick up the other books? Of that you can have no doubt. Do I recommend this book? Yep. Whole-heartedly. And finally I’ll mention Michael Fell. I enjoy his narrations and he hit all the right notes with the performance. Yes, the book is long, but totally worth the listen.