Saxon James

TAI Ten years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. When Hawke left for the NHL and my hockey dreams went up in smoke, I ghosted my best and longest friend. It made sense at the time, but there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t missed him.

It doesn’t matter that I was the number one draft pick in the NHL or that I’m projected to be the next great generational player, because none of it is enough to impress my childhood crush back in my hometown.

Finding out those closest to me don’t see me as the great guy I think I am not only kicks me in the gut, it makes me question everything. Until that happened, I didn’t think I had many regrets in my life. Now, I have nothing but regrets.

When my sister moves from Chicago to Edmonton to get married, I take the opportunity to follow her. My life has become a lonely existence, only ever having time for work. The closest thing I have to a relationship is a one-sided affair with Gunner–the hottest cam boy on the app Money Shot.

Once upon a time, playing for the NHL was my dream. Then Radimir Novicov skated circles around me and made it clear I’d never be good enough. He was smart, talented, and worst of all–sexy. Every closeted guy knows that you don’t hit on your teammate, even if his gaze lingers longer than it should.

My best friend is uptight, gorgeous, the greatest person I know … and I might be a smidge in love with him. Just a small amount. Barely worth the mention. Which is a stupid choice on my part when the guy is straight.

When I show up to surprise my boyfriend in a barely-there festive outfit, I’m expecting him to be alone. Not hosting family. His fiancé’s family.

There’s something seriously wrong with me. For once, I’m not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I'm talking about, well, everything else.

Straining my groin is bad enough. It puts my hockey career, my future, but even worse, my dignity on the line. Having to get massages in that area from Vance Landon, one of the team trainers, is mortifying. It’s impossible to hide my feelings toward him....

At first, I thought it would be an easy payday. A few pew pews for bad people, a couple of suitcases of cash for me. People have done worse for an honest living. Probably. The problem is that after a couple of jobs, I’ve never actually managed to unalive someone, and not for lack of trying.

After a little mishap in an alleyway with CCTV, my public image needs fixing. Oops? It might have been a stunt to get the attention of Lane Pierce, San Jose’s new PR manager, but I didn’t realize what the consequences would be when I did it....

When it comes to hockey, I'm all about the game. I've worked for years to be one of the best in the league, and l've done it without splashing my orientation all over the tabloids. My hockey image is one I've carefully cultivated, and after one night with Ezra Palaszczuk, I risk it all....

At Rho Kappa Tau, I’m a legacy. It’s a lot of pressure, but I’ve always been responsible, never had that rebellious need to rock the boat - and I like it that way. But after a party at Sigma - the jock frat - I meet Chad Doomsen....

I’ve always been the relationship guy. I love big, hard and fast … but unfortunately for me, that’s the quickest way to make a new romance crash and burn. Moving to Wilde’s End, our not-so-abandoned town, is exactly the fresh start I need.

The worst part of being in love with my straight best friend is the fact he’s too oblivious to see it. Years of pining have left me exhausted, and I need a break from Dex. I need space to get over my feelings. But when his relationship falls apart and he turns to me for comfort, I cave....

After my divorce, I’m ready to have fun, date around, and not get into anything serious. Then I meet Gabe Crosby, superhero firefighter and a disgrace to the Crosby name. He doesn’t even like hockey....

JACOBS: For the last three years, I've lived and breathed hockey with one goal: team captain. There's only one thing standing in my way. TJ Beckett. Beck is irresponsible and immature, and I've hated him since the moment we met freshman year. Yet, the coaches see something in him I obviously...

I’ve never thought much about Orson Naples. He’s a cute guy who I’d seen around town a few times, but then one day he up and left and didn’t reappear until a few years later....

Being invited to my cousin’s wedding really shouldn’t be a big deal except, oh yeah, I haven't seen my family for a decade. My parents turned their backs on me, and I’ve done everything since to become successful and show them what they've lost....

Give me the smallest reason to make a bad decision, and I’ll jump in with both feet. Case in point: thinking that drunkenly buying an abandoned town with my brothers is a good idea. As builders, we plan to renovate and flip the town, maybe turn it into something worth seeing.