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Lame of Thrones
- The Final Book in a Song of Hot and Cold
- Narrated by: Joshua Manning
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
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Publisher's Summary
From Harvard's legendary humor publication comes an outrageous, uproariously funny parody of Game of Thrones, in the tradition of their previous best-selling parody book classics Bored of the Rings, Nightlight, and The Hunger Pains.
An affectionate but take-no-prisoners send-up of the massive literary and television franchise, Lame of Thrones offers fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and merrily explodes all of its conventions - as well as their expectations of the characters - to hilarious ends. It may even leave you more satisfied than the actual TV ending of Game of Thrones. In fact, if it doesn't the Lampoon has really dropped the ball.
Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but his untimely murder at the hands of his own men of the Night's Crotch has made that seem less likely. Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkhaki captors and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the desert counting grains of sand for the rest of the book? And what about Jon Dough's siblings? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely, yes? It would be weird if they weren't prominent characters in the book, you say?
To find out, listen to the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write but never will. The Lampoon - the place where such comedy writers and performers as Conan O'Brien, Colin Jost, B.J. Novak, Patricia Marx, Alan Yang, Andy Borowitz and many more all got their start - is ready to serve parody notice to the most entertaining, infuriating, and inescapable cultural phenomenon of the past decade.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 57
Damico writes games for a living. When called in to rescue a local roleplaying game demo, Damico is shot in the head by a loony fan. He awakens in a game. A game full of hackneyed tropes and clichéd plots. A game he was there to save, run by the man who murdered him just moments ago. A game that has just become world-swap fantasy. Damico, to his horror, has become the heart of the cliché.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great
- By David on 09-05-16
By: Bob Defendi
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The Blacksmith Queen
- By: G. A. Aiken
- Narrated by: Mia Barron, Jason Culp
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 589
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 541
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 536
With the demise of the Old King, there's a prophesy that a queen will ascend to the throne of the Black Hills. Bad news for the king's sons, who are prepared to defend their birthright against all comers. But for blacksmith Keeley Smythe, war is great for business. Until it looks like the chosen queen will be Beatrix, her younger sister. Now it's all Keeley can do to protect her family from the enraged royals.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very entertaining!
- By Curly's Ramblings on 08-27-19
By: G. A. Aiken
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We Are the Dead
- The Last War Trilogy
- By: Mike Shackle
- Narrated by: Nicola Bryant
- Length: 18 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Jia's people learned the hard way that there are no second chances. The Egril, their ancient enemy, struck with magic so devastating that Jia's armies were wiped out. Now terror reigns in the streets, and friend turns on friend just to live another day. Somehow Tinnstra - a deserter, a failure, nothing but a coward - survived. She wants no more than to hide from the chaos. But dragged into a desperate plot to retake Jia, surrounded by people willing to do anything to win the fight, this time Tinnstra will need to do more than hide.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A rising star in dark fantasy
- By Ole Åsli on 10-09-20
By: Mike Shackle
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Blood Moon
- Lord of Shadows, Book 1
- By: Jaeger Mitchells
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 167
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 164
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Story4 out of 5 stars 164
Having lost both his father and best friend 10 years ago, Ivan struggled to hold onto what sanity he had left. But the Count, the person who took everything from him wasn't going to let that happen...before his final breath, an opportunity for vengeance presented itself in the form of a beautiful dark priestess, and an offer to serve her unholy mistress. Left with no options, Ivan must learn to navigate the darkness deep within and become the monster the world has forced him to be.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Another dumb MC..
- By GABRIEL PEREZ on 07-27-19
By: Jaeger Mitchells
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Dragon Seed
- Archemi Online, Volume 1
- By: James Osiris Baldwin
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Laurie Catherine Winkel
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,611
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,312
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,310
Before being conscripted to fight in the Total War, Private Hector Park had a shattered family, a collection of old video games, and a promising career as a motorcycle stuntman. Now, he is dying from a virus threatening humankind with extinction. He has three days to live. When Hector’s brother contacts him after years of hostile silence, Hector goes to try and make peace. But his brother has an offer even more unbelievable than reconciliation: the chance to cheat death by joining him in Archemi, a full-immersion fantasy VR-RPG video game.
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5 out of 5 stars
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good story, well told
- By Fievel on 12-10-18
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Traitor's Blade
- Greatcoats Series, Book 1
- By: Sebastien de Castell
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,932
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,768
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,768
The King is dead, the Greatcoats have been disbanded, and Falcio Val Mond and his fellow magistrates Kest and Brasti have been reduced to working as bodyguards for a nobleman who refuses to pay them. Things could be worse, of course. Their employer could be lying dead on the floor while they are forced to watch the killer plant evidence framing them for the murder. Oh wait, that's exactly what's happening. Now a royal conspiracy is about to unfold in the most corrupt city in the world.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun Adventure Fantasy
- By Scott S. on 06-19-18
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Fledgling
- The Dragonrider Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Nicole Conway
- Narrated by: Jesse Einstein
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 589
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 526
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 527
Can one boy stand between two kingdoms at war? Jaevid Broadfeather has grown up as a wartime refugee, hiding from the world because of his mixed racial heritage. He feels his future is hopeless - until a chance encounter with a wild dragon lands him in Blybrig Academy, a place usually forbidden to anyone but the rich and royal. But Jaevid's case is special; no dragon has voluntarily chosen a rider in decades, so the proud riders of Blybrig must begrudgingly let him join their brotherhood despite his bloodline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun new dragon series with a twist.
- By Thomas Le Min on 08-22-16
By: Nicole Conway
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Death Becomes Her
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,241
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,079
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,075
What you thought you knew about vampires and werewolves is wrong...so very, very, wrong. A thousand years of effort to keep the Unknown World hidden is unraveling and the Patriarch is tired. He needs to find someone to take over. He finds Bethany Anne.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vamp action at its' finest
- By BikeVON on 04-19-17
By: Michael Anderle
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The Lost War
- Eidyn Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 267
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 245
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 242
With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
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Skulduggery Pleasant: Audio Collection Books 1-3: The Faceless Ones Trilogy
- Skulduggery Pleasant, Playing with Fire, The Faceless Ones
- By: Derek Landy
- Narrated by: Rupert Degas
- Length: 21 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 136
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 121
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Story5 out of 5 stars 120
Books one, two and three in the Skulduggery Pleasant series - known collectively as the Faceless Ones Trilogy, Derek Landy's fantastically imaginative series about our favourite dead detective.
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2 out of 5 stars
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there's an English man that has a better version
- By David Potter on 11-01-22
By: Derek Landy
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The Last Fallen Star
- By: Graci Kim
- Narrated by: Suzie Yeung
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 96
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 89
Riley Oh can't wait to see her sister get initiated into the Gom clan, a powerful lineage of Korean healing witches their family has belonged to for generations. Her sister, Hattie, will earn her Gi bracelet and finally be able to cast spells without adult supervision. Although Riley is desperate to follow in her sister's footsteps when she herself turns 13, she's a saram - a person without magic. Riley was adopted, and despite having memorized every healing spell she's ever heard, she often feels like the odd one out in her family and the gifted community.
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5 out of 5 stars
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RR Presents knocks it out of the park once again!
- By knittingmami on 05-14-21
By: Graci Kim
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Once & Future
- By: Cory McCarthy, A. R. Capetta
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 210
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 187
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Story4 out of 5 stars 187
When Ari crash-lands on Old Earth and pulls a magic sword from its ancient resting place, she is revealed to be the newest reincarnation of King Arthur. Then she meets Merlin, who has aged backward over the centuries into a teenager, and together, they must break the curse that keeps Arthur coming back. Their quest? Defeat the cruel, oppressive government and bring peace and equality to all humankind.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Favorite
- By Ruthi on 04-03-19
By: Cory McCarthy, and others
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Kradak the Champion
- Arkana Series, Book 1
- By: Shawn Inmon
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 52
They call him Kradak, but his friends call him Steve. He's big and strong, an actor who plays a hero named Kradak in a series of B-movies. When Rista and Grint come through the portal from Arkana, they don't understand what a movie is. They think Steve truly is Kradak the Champion. They kidnap him and take him back to Arkana to help them save their world. Once they discover the truth, it is too late. The portal is closed. Steve needs to become a hero. The fate of two worlds hangs in the balance.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another adventure begun!
- By Renook on 11-01-21
By: Shawn Inmon
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The Henchmen Chronicles Collection, Books 1-5
- By: Craig Halloran
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 39 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Contains the complete Henchmen Chronicles series.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Lots of fun
- By Bob Selby on 03-01-23
By: Craig Halloran
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Death Rites (The Lazarus Codex)
- By: E. A. Copen
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 586
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 546
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 547
Old gods die hard. Professional necromancer Lazarus Kerrigan knows all too well that the Big Easy is anything but. Crime is up, business is down, and someone--or something--crushed an innocent girl to death on his doorstep. After the search for the murderer brings the police to his front door, Laz must prove his innocence by hauling in the real killer with help from the dead. When the sun sets in New Orleans, more than monsters go bump in the night... And what Laz awakens in his quest for answers might just get him--and everyone else in town--killed.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Meet Lazarus Kerrigan, the new kid!
- By Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore on 06-14-19
By: E. A. Copen
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The Dragon Squisher
- By: Scott McCormick
- Narrated by: Adam Fuller
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,867
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,672
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,670
“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious!
- By Angela on 08-31-20
By: Scott McCormick