I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both

A Novel

By: Mariah Stovall

Narrated by: Trei Taylor

Set in the suburbs of Los Angeles and New York City, I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both is an immersive journey into the life and mind of Khaki Oliver, who's perennially trying to disappear into something: a codependent friendship, an ill-advised boyfriend, the punk scene, or simply, the ether. These days it's a meaningless job and a comfortingly empty apartment. Then, after a decade of estrangement, she receives a letter from her former best friend. Fiona's throwing a party for her newly adopted daughter and wants Khaki to join the celebration.

Khaki is equal parts terrified and tempted to reconnect. Their platonic love was confusing, all-consuming, and encouraged their worst impulses. While stalling her RSVP, Khaki starts crafting the perfect mixtape—revisiting memories of formative shows, failed romances, and the ups and downs of desire and denial—while weighing the risks and rewards of saying yes to Fiona again.

One song at a time, from 1980s hardcore to 2010s emo, the shared and separate contours of each woman's mind come into focus. Will listening to the same old songs on repeat doom Khaki to a lonely life of arrested development? Or will hindsight help her regain her sense of self and pave a healthy path for the future, with or without Fiona?

©2024 Mariah Stovall (P)2024 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

skip this one

Really unimpressed by this book. I found the protagonist to be insufferable, I feel like the summary/description was pretty inaccurate to what the book was actually about. The production was not good-- hard to hear. I almost DNFed this one but stuck it out until the end. I didn't find the characters relatable or sympathetic in any way

Terribly done

I tried this book because my friend recommended it. This is probably the worst audiobook I’ve heard. The audio recoding and/or voice is so low that I have to double the volume from any other book. I made it through about 2.5 hours and finally gave up because I had no idea what was going on AND there was literally 15 minutes of reciting numbers. I had to drop the book after that. It was such a waste of time.

Ughh don’t listen

Apparently this book is so good but I couldn’t deal with the reader. Her voice was so soft at times I couldn’t hear her and I got 7 hrs in and still couldn’t finish. I never quit a book. So bad.