I Let Him Go

Narrated by: Siân Polhill-Thomas
Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
5 out of 5 stars (19 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

A truly inspiring and heartbreaking book from the mother of little James Bulger - whose murder by two young boys shocked the world.

On 12th February 1993, Denise's life changed forever. As she was running errands at New Strand Shopping Centre, she let go of her two-year-old son's hand to take out her purse. Denise never saw her son again.

In this extraordinary and heart-wrenching audiobook comes the unflinching account of that terrible day from James Bulger's mother, Denise. What if she had never taken James shopping? What if she had turned right coming out of the butcher's instead of left? Would she have seen her son being led out of the centre by two children?

Denise's initial hope - of seeing her son on CCTV with other kids - quickly turned to devastation when, two days later, James' body was found. His murder shocked the world, as his killers became the youngest convicted murderers in the UK. Denise then took up a tortuous legal battle for James, and it was her astonishing strength and love for her son that ultimately helped to change the way the law treats victims of crime.

This is a mother's tale of finding a way through the despair to remember the happiness and wonderful memories that James brought his family. Above all, Denise doesn't want her son to be remembered as a murdered child, and with this beautifully written audiobook she does just that.

©2018 Denise Fergus (P)2018 Bolinda Publishing Pty Ltd

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I am with heavy heart after reading this

I rarely write a review, but this time. I feel I have to.
I am a mom of 3, my youngest is the same age as James Bulger. He is 2 going on 3 in just a few short weeks. I can’t help but feel weak and sickness while reading. There were quite a few times I had to put it down and walk away. But then found myself needing to hear more so my mind wouldn’t wander into “what if scenarios”.

She told the story about her beautiful baby James beautifully. I felt I was with her, watching her relive the moments.
I laughed, I cried, I mourned, I screamed...i felt sick.
I could see him as she described him perfectly. I could feel her pain of loss as she described them amazingly.

I hate to say I loved the book, the narrator, the author, the story. Bc that sounds heartless. It sounds sick.
But I appreciate Denise Fergus, James’ mom, opening up and allowing strangers into her life, her precious life that was stolen.

Wishing this family strength, love and peace.

2 people found this helpful

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heartbreaking

This story is so saddening. Read with great passion and emotions. Highly recommend this book.

1 person found this helpful

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  • gerryc
  • 02-07-18

extremely well told.

brilliant idea to narrate it in a Liverpool accent.makes it more sad.truly heart breaking story.

21 people found this helpful

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  • julie t.
  • 02-07-18

A mothers fight to be heard

heartbreaking, but now I don't just see the baby who was murdered by two truly evil children,whose picture I have never forgotten I see James running around in my mind. Thank you Denise and JUSTICE FOR JAMES

19 people found this helpful

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  • Chris
  • 02-06-18

The bravest woman

This is the most heart breaking, saddest, emotional yet bravest book I have ever read.
What a remarkable woman Denise Fergus is .

7 people found this helpful

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  • Supermum
  • 02-02-18

Heartbreaking

This book is honest, brutally honest.. although Denise doesn't know the full extent of her babies injuries so the listener is spared that detail but her account of what she and her family and to endure is horrendous. She's a better woman than I as I would want them hung for what they did.. brilliantly read and sets the record straight on stuff the press got wrong.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Briony Nunne
  • 03-13-18

Emotional and Heartbreaking

Narrated really well. So heartbreaking to listen too though. I can't even begin to imagine the pain, heartache and anger Denise, her family and friends have gone through over the last 25 years. My heart goes out to them all.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Nicola Siddons
  • 07-02-18

Prepare for Heartbreak.

A heartwrenching, intimate account of every parent's worst nightmare, narrated perfectly by Sian Polhill-thomas. I still to this day, can not believe that this ever happened to baby James and his family. It is all very well hearing about it on the news, but to hear Denise's personal story, has broken my heart. Thanks for having the courage to write this book, we all stand with you.

4 people found this helpful

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  • louise jarvis
  • 03-06-18

Wow...Heartbreaking but a must read.

It been a true eye opener to all that Denise and Ralph and her poor family endured... and still do.
Although heartbreaking a truly insured story of A mother's love and fight for justice. Keep fighting.....

4 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-04-18

Beautiful

Loved it
Was touching and I finished it in two days. I was so moved by it

4 people found this helpful

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  • KP
  • 02-17-18

A Moving, honest account of a mother's battle for Justice for James

I would have given this book 10 stars if I could. I applaud Denise Fergus for having the courage to share her most personal thoughts and feelings and for successfully reminding us that James was so much more than the tiny figure being led out of the Strand Shopping Arcade on that fateful day. James was a loving little boy with a beautiful soul; a son, grandson, nephew, cousin and a big brother to be. James was funny, sweet, energetic and mischievous; his mother's 'little monkey'. It's a heart wrenching account of a mother's battle for justice.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Shazebee
  • 10-14-18

Justice for James, none, 25 years later ...

I have always followed James' story and have of course felt deep empathy, as a mother myself, for Denise his mummy, but wow have I realised through this book just how traumatic and horrific this was for all of James' family. This book is bound to make you cry as it looks deep into Denises soul and takes you on the very journey she was taken on. a journey through hell. some of us, myself included will know how it feels when you lose sight of your child, your heart physically and painfully jumps, but then all is well. Just imagine how 10 minutes of that must feel? Then a day, then 2 days later that child is found killed in THE most horrific and EVIL way. as if that isnt enough to almost kill you, Denise has had to fight for justice for James for 25, yes 25 years, against our governments justice system. A system that undoubtedly seems to be all for protecting James' killers (and others like them) given 5 star treatment in a youth offenders home. no prison time as it was deemed they were 'rehabilitated' and freed after only 8 years!!! then set up with new identities and given homes, money, back stories to enable them to FOOL the rest of society! They were awarded the right to learn anything about Denise and James' brothers and yet she to this day is NOT allowed to know ANYTHING about them!!! its a joke! why exactly do we protect and coddle killers and yet stick 2 fingers up at the victims???? WTF? Keep fighting Denise. We are all behind you! James will be SO SO proud of his mum and stuart and his brothers. Where you find the strength? I do not know. Probably you are driven by getting JUSTICE FOR JAMES. Thank you for the book. It was wonderfully written and read so well. Wishing you some peace and love, from one mum to another.

2 people found this helpful

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  • krispyp
  • 10-01-19

sharing her heartbreaking

Felt your pain - love the way life continued to grow in you. James lives on in all your boys. Can't comprehend the pain you endured.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-10-19

Heartbreaking but so proud of Denise

A heartbreaking retell but a must read to support James and his family.
Well done Denise to tell your story. Our hearts broke then and do again. We support you and thank you for your bravery to write

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  • veno57
  • 02-24-19

A heartbreaking story of every mothers nightmare

I couldnt have listened to this if it was just about the details of the murder. This is a story about a mother and her family having to go through the most horrific tragedy any mother could go through and the struggle of making sure she fought the best fight she could for the memory and justice for her child.

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  • Mad cow
  • 01-29-19

Strong and amazing

Even after all that has happen the criminals have the right to your paper work and your personal details.
That just makes my blood boil.
I too have had 2 things happen in my life that the criminal get all my information and that to me is criminal.
I too live in fear that they will come get me as they were sentenced to prison.
It’s injustice is mind boggling that the victim has to create a live WITHOUT any help. And yet they get three meals a day no bills clean linen and tv, and god forbid designer cloths WTF
And the right to read everything you are doing. Shame on them the government police high courts to allow this to continue year after year.
They don’t loose a thing they get paid good money to live the life they so don’t deserve while we struggle day in day out. God bless you for bringing this into the world
Worth the read support the fund
RIP knowing that you are the strong
Ones and those parent that pushed and laughed at you are the criminals also.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-22-19

Wow! Not easy, very worthwhile!

An incredibly brave real life story to tell. Not easy to hear yet so powerful and necessary.
I commend you Denise #justiceforjames

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  • David
  • 06-08-18

Amazing Book

wrote with courage & love and honesty, about a very sad loss to a family still affected by a senseless lack of pure evil.