How to Vex a Vampire

VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, Book 1

By: Alice Winters

Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo

Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins

Publisher's Summary

Finn

Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way.

He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not. But what he doesn’t know is that I didn’t join the unit because I was tired of being a homicide detective. I joined because there is someone after me. 

They’ve already taken enough from me, and I’m afraid they’re going to take all of me if I don’t find someone to help. That’s all Marcus was supposed to be, but now, he’s so much more, and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Marcus 

The moment the pesky human walked through that door, I knew I had to get rid of him. He’s charming, and almost everyone else instantly loves him, but he doesn’t understand how risky it is being part of this unit as a human.

But as I get to know the stubborn man, I learn that, perhaps, he’s not as naive as I once thought. And, maybe, he’s what I needed to realize there is more to life than just work and my dog.

A group arises that is threatening to disrupt the alliance between the humans and the vampires, but Finn is the one who shows me how strong that alliance can be and reminds me why it’s worth protecting.

When threats hit closer to home, I realize I would do anything for Finn because he’s brought so much joy to my life...and because he’s mine. 

Note: This book features a creative use for undergarments, unintentional splits, a wolfhound who just wants to be a part of things, a vertically challenged human who still manages to wrap every vampire he meets around his little finger, the best date ever, possessiveness, really awkward dancing, some workplace revenge, and just a bite or two. Or three.

©2020 Alice Winters (P)2020 Alice Winters

Very, very confused by all the positive reviews

If nothing else, the massively gushing reviews I've read of this book have taught me that I have wildly different taste from other romance readers, because I couldn't get past the first hour of this book.

To me, the book reads like a fanfic, and not even a particularly good one. Yes, Michael Ferraiuolo does a good job with the snarky dialogue, but the book is like 90% dialogue, and 90% of THAT is snarky. That's a bit much for me. It's like the author discovered that she can do one thing pretty well--in this case write snappy dialogue--and decided to make the entire book into one long conversation. And another thing, these are supposed to be cops, and some of them are supposed to be ancient vampires, so WHY oh why does everyone talk like middle school girls?

In addition, the book is written entirely in present tense which drives me NUTS. Usually I can get past it after a while, but in this case it just got more and more grating as the narration went on.

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW I'm in the minority in not liking the book. Read some other reviews and buy it, you'll probably love it. But it was just not for me, at all.

incredible!!!!!!

It's review time 🎧

How to Vex a Vampire
By Alice Winters
Narrator Michael Ferraiuolo

Narrator score🎧 ; Michael is a king! Come on!!! the effects he did with his voice, were absolutely fantastic! That
Voice he gave the antagonist character was just brilliant! The characters ... I'm truly in awe of this talent. And you have some Russian in here. I ask myself if Alice winters know what zanuda truly means. Yes, it is annoying. This is the meaning of this word but it much more. It's if you got a piece of wood under your nail (zanoza in Russian) and can't get it out the pain will irritate you... but it won't be unbearable and you wouldn't feel it constantly, but when you will it would be so painful and irritating. And the point is that it suits the main character so much that it's hilarious! And Michael just says the word so good!!!

“You’re like a really annoying dog that wants attention, and I just want to stick you in a crate on the other side of the house.”

Level of steam🔥: it's a sweet sweet book. You do have some moments but its definitely not about that. I think the innuendo covers that part the best. I discovered I'm 6 years old apparently. Because I love those moments more than the steamy parts, much much more.

“Yes, I was watching P***.”
“I’ll be P*** for you,” he mumbles as he pulls his shirt up and pokes his nipple. “Porn.”
“Wow… that was very s**y.”

Level of anxiety and sadness0😱😢: the book is hilarious! But with that, you have this Alice magic. She just has this capability to take a storyline that can be very serious, and turn it to the best comedy ever. And she did it again in the best way possible! You do have a complex storyline but it's so funny that your face will probably hurt from the smiles and giggles.

“What? Do I not look like the type of man to snuggle up to a bush and take a nice long nap?”


The book itself📖: what can I say? How many times I have listened to books about vampires. And yes a lot of them are brilliant as well, but this book has actually a very complex world to stand on, you have rules, that you discover with the story. And it's a fantasy that shows you said rules on the go by.
You have two incredible characters. Each brings you its complicated past to the story, and the development is so smooth and funny that you just can't not love it. I think that even people that don't like fantasy stories usually will adore this book. What's not to love? A quirky twink a rude old vampire and a lot of action!

Played up on every stereotype

I wanted to love it and made myself listen to the end. The story was just okay. It played up on every gay stereotype. The storyline felt very dated. The characters were not realistic in their roles. The book may have been tolerable if the narrator didn't over exaggerate the effeminate nature of the main character.

Laughed my head off!

This was a an extremely pleasant surprise! The writing was great. Serious and Funny! Michael Ferraiuolo was the perfect narrator for this book. Can't wait for the next book!

A snarky and hilarious paranormal romcom!

This was a sweet opposites attract, kind of enemies to lovers paranormal romance.

I loved the snarky banter, hilarious back and forth and entertaining dialogue.

The characters were likeable and fun and the hint suspense added to the overall charm of the storyline.

Michael Ferraiuolo performed an enjoyable and compelling audio delivery and narration.

Definitely looking forward to the rest of the series.

loved it

loved it. will probably listen to it multiple times..sooo funny. Marcus and Finnegan are perfect together.

Love love love

I'm so in love with this series. Alice writes amazing books with with so much humor, loooove and a twist. You laugh, you cry and then laugh some more. Michael seriously he really is one of the best narrators I've listened to. really recommend both of them.

It's like one long conversation with bits of plot

This author is good at writing heartwarming characters and snappy, funny dialogue, but that dialogue goes on entirely too long. Listening to it, I'm imagining PAGES of their silly back-and-forths until something finally happens or the scene finally changes. It feels endless. It was very charming and endearing for the first book I read from this author which was the first Hitman one, but listening to the same exact dynamic again for 10 hours got really old really fast. It does kind of read like a fanfiction, and while I love fanfiction, fanfic works because fanfic doesn't really have the responsibility of carrying its own worldbuilding. The cornerstones are already laid out for you.
I adored that the main character was disabled, but sadly, trying to get through the book when the conversations go on forever and you find yourself mumbling "Yes, yes, this is all very funny. Ha ha. Please move on" is disappointing.
Michael Ferraiuolo did a great job as usual, one of my favorite narrators ever. Finn was a little extra flamboyant sounding but that's not necessarily a bad thing and maybe he was supposed to.

Good story. Good narration.

Alice Winters knows how to create a fascinating blend of romance, humor, and mild terror while educating the reader about personal challenges.

This is my favorite book from the author so far. I can't wait for the next one.

The narrator is perfect for this series.

Micheal stole the show! 👏

great and funny story, but one thing is for sure: Micheal Ferraiuolo stole the show! 👏

Brilliant

This is my first time listening to one of your books and I purchased it because of the title, I'm glad I did. The story of the human and the vampire was brilliant from start to finish and I can't wait to get more, I laughed at the human calling the vampire, [fangy mcfang face.]

Really good

If you're coming for sex, this book isn't that. But if you're coming for a cohesive, funny story of a persistent human and a grumpy vampire, then this book is perfect for you.

I enjoyed the humour and banter between the pair and particularly loved Marcus. I loved the narrator, perfect as always.

The only thing I didn't like too much was that because of how much Finn and Marcus joked around, in some parts I found it annoying and made me want to stop with the book. It was just a little bit too much and I think some areas didn't need it because it watered down the relationship a bit to me. They were very rarely serious with one another which I personally didn't appreciate.

Beyond that, this book is amazing and I loved this world you created between vampires and werewolves. Very interesting and I can not wait to see how they carry on in book 2 by finally facing Finn's past.

Very Enjoyable Listen

Great story, with fantastic characters. I really enjoyed the banter between Finn and Marcus (and Carson). Aside from the detective procedural angle of the plot, which was engaging, there's a ton of humour. This book is loads of fun and very ably narrated by Michael Ferraiuolo.

Be warned, though...bit of a cliffhanger. Looking forward to the next in the series.

Absolutely Loved It!

Wasn’t sure what to expect as there have been mixed reviews about this title, but I have been pleasantly surprised! I Absolutely Loved It! Just the right amount of snark, sass, moodiness, sexy times and just outrageous laughter. Had my neighbours certainly wondering what was going on 😆😆😊 This is certainly the type of book I love to hear, and Mr MF does an outstanding performance 🎭 I so hope the rest of the books will be released in audiobook format as I can’t wait for the next instalment!! Definitely worth 5🌟’s 😁😁😊

Fantastic

I totally love Alice's books, here mind must be completely addled with these characters running around it. I wonder if she is a Snarky as her main characters. I do Hope so.
Seriously though this is another first class book/audi and I can't wait to listen to the next book. Would thoroughly recommend.

Great story

The story and characters  are engaging and the narrator has very distinctive voices for each character, always a plus for me.

Loved it!

I really do love Alice Winters’ books. It started with her In Darkness series which was awesome, and I’ve been buying her books as soon as they come out ever since. She’s got such a skill for writing engaging characters with dimension to them, witty funny dialogue, amusing situations, all whilst maintaining depth rather than it becoming farcical. This was a fun listen and I look forward to the next in the series. There’s a clear lead into the next book, but you can read this one on its own without going insane with what will happen next.

Excellent narration

I really enjoyed the book but the narrator
Really bought the book alive recommend it.