How We Fight For Our Lives

By: Saeed Jones

Narrated by: Saeed Jones

From award-winning poet Saeed Jones, How We Fight for Our Lives—winner of the Kirkus Prize and the Stonewall Book Award—is a “moving, bracingly honest memoir” (The New York Times Book Review) written at the crossroads of sex, race, and power.

One of the best books of the year as selected by The New York Times; The Washington Post; NPR; Time; The New Yorker; O, The Oprah Magazine; Harper’s Bazaar; Elle; BuzzFeed; Goodreads; and many more.

“People don’t just happen,” writes Saeed Jones. “We sacrifice former versions of ourselves. We sacrifice the people who dared to raise us. The ‘I’ it seems doesn’t exist until we are able to say, ‘I am no longer yours.’”

Haunted and haunting, How We Fight for Our Lives is a stunning coming-of-age memoir about a young, black, gay man from the South as he fights to carve out a place for himself, within his family, within his country, within his own hopes, desires, and fears. Through a series of vignettes that chart a course across the American landscape, Jones draws readers into his boyhood and adolescence—into tumultuous relationships with his family, into passing flings with lovers, friends, and strangers. Each piece builds into a larger examination of race and queerness, power and vulnerability, love and grief: a portrait of what we all do for one another—and to one another—as we fight to become ourselves.

An award-winning poet, Jones has developed a style that’s as beautiful as it is powerful—a voice that’s by turns a river, a blues, and a nightscape set ablaze. How We Fight for Our Lives is a one-of-a-kind memoir and a book that cements Saeed Jones as an essential writer for our time.

Critic reviews

"Listeners gain an intimate sense of Saeed Jones's life through vignettes he presents with grace, compassion, and ferocity. His poetic memoir was born when he turned to writing to heal in the aftermath of an assault, and it centers around struggling as a young, black, and gay boy in the South. He and his mother were close, and when she dies, his anguish is palpable. Jones narrates unflinchingly through early curiosity about his sexuality, homophobia from family and community, and damaging sexual encounters. While he's skilled at creating voices for everyone in his audiobook, certain voices—taunting slurs, crazed declarations of violence—are particularly chilling. Through his dynamic narration, listeners will feel as though they are sharing intense confidences and moments of joy with a close friend."

Beautiful and Honest

A beutiful and honest memoir. I love memoirs and this one did not disappoint.

Powerful and Haunting

I continue to consciously marvel at how we as African Americans have to blaze paths for ourselves in an alternate reality in every aspect of life that the dominant culture refuses to see but still actively participates in making it a requirement. Saeed Jones skillfully pulls back the curtain to expose the extreme heights and near devasting depths of the non-stop rollercoaster ride that African Americans endure daily while we exist above ground in our coats of non-white skin. Our ancestors--mothers, fathers, and grandparents--are why we are able to endure and fight and thrive every day.

Very Enjoyable

I really loved the story. The author's prospective was open and honest. I wanted the story to continue. Like, what happened with Emma!

PHENOMENAL

I loved this story! I am a fan of Saeed Jones, and to have him be this vulnerable? It was amazing.

Beautifully lyrical and relatable

You can tell the author is a poet because the prose of this memoir is so wonderfully poetic. The words sing as the author reads excerpts of his own life aloud. His performance is less amazing; there are times you can hear awkward pauses or stumbling over words. Still, I think there's something special in experiencing something so personal read by the person that lived it. I share experiences, a city, and a school with this author, but think anyone can relate to the emotional truth in the story.