How Not to Break

LOVESTRONG, Book 4

By: Susan Hawke

Narrated by: Michael Pauley

Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins

Publisher's summary

Take one former SEAL with a healthy dose of regret....

Nick St. Cloud is living with shame from the one time he let his lust override his sense of honor. He’s haunted by the memory of when he made love to his best friend’s 18-year-old son. The tragic accident that happened that same night has only compounded his guilt. A decade later, he’s doing his best to be there for Charlie’s son, but anything more than that just wouldn’t be right...would it?

Plus, the younger guy who he’s tried to forget....

It’s been 10 years. Ten long years. Does Shaw Michaelson feel bad about having seduced his dad’s best friend? Umm, maybe? Although he could’ve done things differently, Shaw can’t find it within himself to be sorry for the hottest night of his life with the one man he’s never been able to forget. The man he’s patterned every subsequent relationship after...yeah, Shaw totally has a type.

Equals a pair of men who deserve a second chance at a first time.

The two men are living in an uneasy peace within the same small town and circle of friends, being careful not to let the other get close enough to open old wounds. All their walls fall when a stalker begins terrorizing Shaw, sending him running to the one man he knows will keep him safe.

©2019 Susan Hawke (P)2019 Susan Hawke

Favorite of the series

Of all the Lovestrong books, I think this was my favourite. Although there are times when I’m just looking for a bit of fluff, there are times when I’m looking for a bit of angst. Add in a good dash of snarky dialogue. With great secondary characters and cameos from the main characters in previous books, this story had everything I could’ve asked for in a good story.

There’s Shaw. He became orphaned ten years ago and that, coupled with making love to his parents’ best friend at the same time, has left him conflicted. He’d seen Nick St. Cloud as a safe bet for someone who’d take care of him while having sex for the first time, but he hadn’t bargained on the morning after regrets Nick would feel. So for ten years Nick has watched from afar, leaving Shaw unsettled and unsatisfied. He’s dated other men and even been serious with one or two of them, but the relationships never amounted to anything because the other men weren’t Nick. The other men couldn’t compare to a compassionate and frankly sexy as hell ex-Navy SEAL.

I loved Shaw. His ineptitude at certain things (cooking) mixed with his aptitude with others (running a business) leant him a sweet disposition that made me want to wrap him up and take care of him. In some ways he’s a mature twenty-eight and in others he’s still naïve in the ways of the world. I understood Nick standing by, ready to step in when things go sideways, but otherwise keeping his hands literally to himself.

The stalking elements of the story were creepy and well done. I felt Shaw’s anguish at having his whole life upended and no longer feeling safe. That Nick was there to save him felt good, but I liked that Shaw insisted on maintaining some autonomy. He was willing to accept help and protection from Nick, but he still kept some agency. I also liked the little glimpses into his life and all the good things he was quietly doing for the community around him. He understands how lucky he is and wants to give back.

I want to take a quick moment to shout out to the secondary characters. I loved how they all rallied around Shaw, especially Becca. I loved her sassy attitude and great friendship with Shaw. I also liked how it was Dana, Nick’s former sister-in-law, who was such a champion of the men getting together.

Like I said, I really enjoyed this book and hope there are still more to come. Ranger Rick deserves his own happy ending, right?

Finally, Michael Pauley. He’s narrated the entire series and has done a brilliant job. He keeps a separate voice for each character and given the sheer volume of hot men, that’s quite a feat. He also has fantastic voices for the female characters, which I always appreciate. Overall, a great listen.

May/December for the win!!

St. Nick finally gets his man! I hoped he would be able to get out from behind himself in the first 3 books and he just kept messing it up. Shaw, sigh, so sweet and strong! He gets mixed up in some creepy mess and Nick can finally get his man.

WOW!

This is the story of Shaw and Nick, but it's also an amazing mystery.

Nick can't overcome the guilt of taking Shawn's virginity ten years ago, and the fact that that did happen the same night that Shaw's parents and Nick's friends died in a car accident hasn't helped. But he can't forget Shaw, either.

Shaw, meanwhile, has kept going on with his life, managing the toy store, working with his charities and using an app to find a date, as Nick is not willing to even look at his way. Or at least, that's what he thinks.

But when a stalker seems to be decided to make his life a living hell, Nick and Rick (his ex-boyfriend) are ready to step up and keep him safe.

I loved it. As much as I enjoyed the romance, and loved when these two men actually talked about that night, and what it meant for each of them, what kept me listening with no stop was the mystery. The stalker was really, really creepy, and the way the things kept escalating was downright frightening.

An amazing story, that I recommend with all my heart.

Great story with excellent narration

Nick was a character in the first book, and we met Shaw in other books. There were hints that there was something going on with these two, and I am so glad that we finally got their story and ultimate HEA. Nick was the best friend of Shaw's father, and they had one earth moving night together 10 years prior. Unfortunately, that was also the night that Shaw's parents were killed in a car accident, and Nick and Shaw were separated by guilt, sadness, and so many other emotions and situations. Shaw ends up getting a creepy stalker, and Nick rides to the rescue again. Luckily, Nick gets out of his head long enough to realize that he is allowed to be happy and that Shaw is what can do that for him. It isn't an easy road overall, but when they finally start talking and really gelling together, they come together solidly and quickly. I liked these two, and I am so glad to see them be happy. There were moments that made me tear up when they dreamed or talked about his parents, and those scenes were so beautifully done. I never read the prequel to know what really happened in the past, but I didn't need to read that to enjoy this story.

Now I'm interested in seeing Rick find love. It sucked for him to watch Shaw find love with someone else, so he needs to be happy now.

Michael Pauley is so dang amazing. Love him so much. He narrates these books so beautifully.

I am voluntarily reviewing an ARC provided by LesCourt Author Services

favorite in the series

Loved this book! It's my favorite in the series so far. I'm a big fan of May/December romances, so I loved that even though it doesn't have the same feel as others do. Once they get over the past, they are more of equals. The suspense made this book all the better.

Pretty good but mixed feelings

Summary:
Nick & Shaw are nice guys who have good friends & run businesses that do well enough they can be philanthropic. They are characters a reader would want to spend time with, even if they zip from kitchen disasters to community volunteering and never look back. It’s an enjoyable story, scaled to one’s tolerance for the creepy actions of the stalker. (I do not watch horror, I will sleep fine. Probably.) It’s just not terribly well thought out or well constructed outside the mystery plot and it sets up readers’ expectations incorrectly. As another installment of the series, Shaw & Nick’s romance works. Read it and have some fun while some creepy stalker does horrible things. (warnings for home invasion & animal death) Despite my guessing the stalker’s ID pretty early, it was still a pretty good tale. If you like the author, you will probably like this well enough. If you like MP’s narration, go ahead and listen.

Details:
However, there are flaws. Because I ultimately liked Nick & Shaw’s journey these were not fatal flaws for me but they were numerous.

Most of the story is set in Shaw’s toy store (did it get named?) or his home. He’s a nice guy and he’s little so all the big guys want him for their little pet boy and he is not interested in that, he just wants to be a man. He does want an older man, but that’s mostly because he’s been crushing on Nick for For Ever.

The author’s choices for main characters and setting are weird because there is no part of the plot that requires Nick to have been a SEAL, despite this being a whodunit & Shaw needing some protection. Nick’s… athletic. Ok. But even when we see scenes from his POV, there is nothing about his SEAL training that enters his thoughts beyond keeping fit. He has no mil buddies we see, he has no connection to law enforcement beyond a dating rival, he has no thoughts of weapons or professional risk assessment or contingency planning. Even his buddy system “plan” is just what a decent, buff, friend would do. A job as personal trainer or a regular Navy stint would have been just as good for impact on this book. But if you’re trying to draw in SEAL fans… your character needs to do *something* related to that background. Nick doesn’t.

Nick also runs a gay bar with drag nights. Scenes are set there but it’s mostly routine bar stuff. It could have been set it any bar. So I come into a mystery/thriller romance where one protag is a gay bar owning former SEAL - and I got a nice story but no fabulous drag scenes and no action hero. Which would have been fine except why set the scene for fabulous action then move it all to a toy store and a chamber of commerce banquet? Larry/Honey gets a small role but - eh. The story doesn’t capitalize enough on its assets.

The other lack of payoff is Shaw’s cooking disasters. They feature heavily in the front half and pretty much disappear from the back half. Again - why spend a third of the setup on something that doesn’t arc through? Instead we get a surprise Little Brother whose scene is one & done. That program is a BIG commitment. My friends who do it talk about their kids ALL THE TIME. They check in. They think about them. Even in Shaw’s PoV, we don’t see him think about his role outside the one time.

It’s great that these gay guys are being sold as “solid, upstanding members of the local business community” that can rely on the police when they have criminals targeting them. That is solid social progress and a public good. It’s just not the story a reader would expect from the setup.

It turns out to be a “friend of the parents falls for friends’ kid” romance. Not a plot I see often and handled mostly ok. There was no/low creepiness factor for me - that aspect was handled well. But for someone supposedly keeping tabs on Shaw, Nick knows too little about Shaw’s life after 10 years of pining and tab keeping. At least the story wasn’t *about* the 10 years of pining, although it did take a while, even here, to get them together.

There are some explicit dreams which nearly push the plot into the paranormal genre (ghosts/predictions). They are heartwarming and might be my favorite element of the story.

Steam: There was on page m/m sex. It was fine - explicit but not boundary pushing imho. In most scenes, however, it felt disconnected from the plot or character growth so instead of paying attention, I wandered off to make tea.

Trigger Warnings/Spoiler:
If you want to avoid the dead animal details, skip the scene after Nick & Shaw drive back to Shaw’s house after Nick tells Shaw not to look on the porch. Tune back in after they get the envelope (or slightly later? sorry, audio pitfall is reviewing details). It might not be possible to avoid the creepy home invasion scene as it is a major plot point, but it is revealed after the fact and there are no injuries. It starts when Shaw can’t see his taser on the nightstand. If someone creeping around a bedroom without permission while someone else sleeps is anathema to you, be warned it happens twice - once as benign & once as scary.
(/end warning/spoiler)

Audio: I almost always enjoy Michal Pauley’s well acted narrations and this is no exception. Voices from earlier books are consistent. Audio production quality is also solid & consistent.

Really enjoyed this one

I didn't read the prequel so I didn't know about Shaw and Nick's story, but that's okay it didn't take away from this story. We have the story of Shaw who is the son of Nick's best friends who died in an auto accident which happened in the prequel. Nick took Shaw's virginity in that book and determines that it was all a mistake as he was listed as Shaw's caregiver should anything happen to Shaw's parents. But Shaw was older so he didn't need a guardian but Nick still feels guilty. What I didn't like is that it took, IMO, way to long for Nick to come to his senses and see that Shaw is a grown man and that holding on to this guilty is misplaced. So Shaw has a stalker who is super creepy calling Shaw boy & himself Master. I never figured out who the stalker was. I thought it was someone else all through the book but I was so wrong. So when the stalker actually invades Shaw's home and does some stuff in the bedroom while Shaw is sleeping, Nick comes to the rescue. Once Nick decides to pull his head out of his butt, he lets go of his guilt and decides to prove to Shaw that he wants to keep him forever. These two were so hot & sweet as a couple. I can't wait to read Rick's book, he has to have one, I so love him.

Enjoyable

I very much enjoy reading this series and Michael Pauley does an excellent job with narrating.
A book that I will listen to again.

St. Nick 😁

This was a great story. I was wondering about Shaw and Nick with the snippets about them in the first books and really loved their story. I was not expecting who was the stalker - shocked with several things Master did. Best part was when St. Nick finally realizes what he wants and could loose during his morning run. Great HEA!

Perfect ending for Shaw and Nick

Nick feels guilty over his feelings towards Shaw, the son of his best friend. As these two keep circling each other for years, it would seem that nothing will force them together. Then, Nick finds out Shaw is getting stalked and all bets are off. As they are forced to confront their past and their feelings, these two men realize that they are truly perfect for each other. As the stalker gets closer, they must work together to free Shaw from the stalker.