Hold Me Under

Water, Air, Earth, Fire, Book 1

By: Riley Nash

Narrated by: J.F. Harding, Stephen Dexter

Love is cheap. Love is cruel. Love can’t save us.

Victor Lang had everything—looks, money, fame. A chance to become the greatest swimmer in history. Until a failed dope test brought him crashing down.

According to the rumors, he turned into a recluse, a drug addict, a whore. Broken beyond repair. Incapable of love.

And for some reason, he’s set his sights on me.

A freak accident in his pool throws me into a world of wealth and status and people who are willing to do anything to get what they want. Before I know it, I’m being paid to fly to Italy and pose as his boyfriend. Trapped at his side, I learn what it means to truly hate someone.

Turns out, that’s exactly what he wants.

I can’t save him, and I can’t love him. But as things fall apart and I discover the truths he’s hiding, I learn that hate can be greater than love—an obsession, a prayer, dark days and darker nights, a need to be the only one who hurts him. Hate can heal the worst wounds love leaves behind.

But I have problems of my own, a broken spirit and loved ones to protect. And I’m scared to face the things he’s waking up inside of me.

A gritty, emotional, epic hate-to-love slow burn with an inexperienced top and his bratty bottom, hurt/comfort, obsession, and healing.

Contains dark themes, adult content, and potential triggers, though every effort was made to portray them thoughtfully and sensitively.

Specific triggers (potential spoilers): sexual abuse (off the page), suicidal ideation, drug abuse, disordered eating, trauma, death, mental illness, homophobic language

©2022 Riley Nash (P)2022 Riley Nash

Passionate and great narration

Audio ARC provided by Riley Nash

🖤 MM romance
🖤 enemies to lovers
🖤 hurt/comfort
🖤 fake dating
🖤 forced proximity
🖤 slow burn
🖤 steamy scenes
🖤 high angst

The Story line

Victor Lang, once the greatest swimmer until he tested positive for doping. His fall from gracious has left him a reclusive and suffering from mental health.

Ethan is working several jobs caring for his mother who’s slowly fading as dementia has taken a hold of her body.
Working landscaping he ends up at Victors big house and realizing who he is (a childhood idol) has him take a step backwards into the pool, and he panics when he has flashbaks of when he almost drowned trying to save his cousin. Victor dives in to bring him up to the surface.

Weird behaviour from victor and a visit from his dad, offering Ethan money to pretend to be in a relationship with Victor. Money that he needs to fulfill a dream of taking his mom around the world.

They go to europe to promote Victors return to the world but Victor wants no part of that world, and struggles deeply to function. Ethan thinks maybe he can help him, but struggles himself with a troubled past and they both really end up helping each other.

Their mutual hatred towards each other from the beginning, makes this a dynamic ping pong relationship where they eventually end up having sex, just for fun, and just until they go back home. But somewhere along the line feeling develop and Ethan starts to see Victor’s true reasons for struggling with so many things in the world.

The Audiobook

J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter do an amazing job narrating this book. Both are passionate and great actors. You feel each of the MCs struggles and they really has you listning to the storyline.

Please take note of the author's TWs - there are lots of confronting issues, although most of them are off-page.

I seriously need a hug after this, so beautiful!

For the love of romance, this book took it out of me. My heart feels confused. Is it broken? Is it repaired? I don't know.

Victor you seriously disturbed boy. You've had everything you've ever needed your entire life and here you are acting as if you haven't been given anything. As if you don't need anyone and anything because they will just be gone anyway so what is the point of getting attached in the first place. Then Ethan, I don't know what to say about you sir other than you deserve saint hood because I would have choked Victor out about a dozen times in the first three chapters!!

Come on... I don't bash stories; don't you know me by now? Uh, my heart! I literally have been seeing this book everywhere for so long now and it was just one of those stories that kept getting pushed back into my TBR for another date and I am seriously kicking myself in the butt because of it. Victor might have been this difficult character, but his life was not easy, the tragedies he suffered ultimately broke him in a way no one could have predicted. And Ethan was lucky enough to be that for him, to love him and be someone he could finally trust.

Narration matters, I have said that time and time again because it does. J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter made this book for me with their portrayals of these characters. Stephen was a new to me narrator and now I am like "I WANT MORE" and then J.F. Harding won my heart the first time he said darlin' as a cowboy.

When Riley puts that this is a "Guaranteed HEA" they weren't wrong but at the same time this was earned through tears, fears and so much hate. I can't even imagine how deep Riley had to dive to get this story onto the pages but boy am I glad they did.

All The Feels

The characters are well developed. I genuinely cared about the characters the whole way through - didn’t find myself getting bored for even a second. I rooted for both of them and they complimented each other very well. The story pulled real emotion out of me and I was so happy for them at the end.

The readers did an excellent job. Top tier, and I thank them for their investment in a such a sensitive story. They managed the sass, tenderness, heartbreak, and anger in all the right places.

J F Harding!!

This was a completely great listen !! Very story driven with compelling, real , raw characters with very sexy steam ! J F Harding will swoon you as always ! Stephen Dexter is very entertaining as well !

Gut punch of emotions

With most reviews, I write them as I listen to the book BUT with this book I couldn’t. I literally had no words, just emotions. I was never sure if the punches to the gut would end or if these two lost souls would ever find happiness.

There are many parts that are so deeply sad. You wallow in the grief. Ethan has lost so much and is scared of the water for very good reasons. Victor’s only refuge is the water. He’s an Olympic caliber swimmer. Victor has been traumatized by the people who he was supposed to trusted the most. This has turned him into a recluse. Fate throws these two together and the journey to their HEA is fraught with emotional moments and epically sad backstories.

I’m happy I listened to this but I also should mention that you definitely should heed the TWs for this book. I’m glad the book ended so hopefully. These characters deserved the happiness. The narration was excellent and really captured the feeling and vibe well.