Hoard Today, Gone Tomorrow

"Decluttering Advice You'll Probably Ignore—Because Who Really Needs Floor Space Anyway?"

By: Jay Berk

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Are you tired of tripping over piles of “important” stuff you forgot you owned? Or your house looking like a thrift store exploded and nobody survived? Has finding your keys turned into and extreme sport? Welcome to Hoard Today, Gone Tomorrow, the laugh-out-loud guide to turning your cluttered chaos into an actual, livable space—without transforming into a minimalist monk. It’s a practical guide to taking back your home—and your sanity—one cluttered corner at a time.

This isn’t just another decluttering book telling you to thank your paperclips and let go of “anything that doesn’t spark joy.” Instead, we’re breaking down the actual clutter zones of your life, adding humor where it hurts, and helping you manage a few attachment issues along the way. Together, we’ll tackle:

• Closet Chaos: You’re about to confront the denim graveyard and T-shirt museum you’ve been cultivating. Yes, those skinny jeans are laughing at you from the shelf, and yes, it’s time to get real.
• Kitchen Clutter: If you’re hoarding 40 coffee mugs, unless you’re secretly running a caffeine cult, they’ve got to go. Your cabinets (and sanity) will thank you.
• Bathroom Black Hole: Expired sunscreens, empty lotion bottles, and shampoo samples you’ll “totally use someday”? Say goodbye to the personal pharmacy and hello to countertop space.
• Attics, Garages, and Basements: These are not “treasure troves” but black holes where old hobbies and half-dead exercise equipment go to die. We’ll help you send them to their final resting place.
• Sentimental “Treasures”: When was the last time that 3rd-grade macaroni art brought you true happiness? Exactly. Let’s talk through some gentle goodbyes.
• Digital Decluttering: Because a clutter-free life also means tackling your inbox, photo gallery, and the 57 apps that “seemed useful” at the time.
• Your Schedule: It’s time to let go of the obligations that make you groan and reclaim time for things you actually want to do—like, maybe, relaxing in your new, clutter-free home.

Packed with practical advice, a healthy dose of humor, and absolutely no unrealistic expectations (minimalist lifestyle, we’re looking at you), Hoard Today, Gone Tomorrow is the book for anyone who wants to laugh their way through decluttering while actually making some real, lasting changes. So, if you’re ready to finally reclaim your home—and maybe even enjoy a few clear surfaces along the way—grab your copy and let’s get started.