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He's Scared, She's Scared
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Are you the Fallback Girl? If you've ever found yourself in a relationship that feels and seemingly looks like one, but you're struggling with commitment, or you've been in the ambiguous territory of a "casual relationship", you've likely tried to change them, wondered what you did to cause this, what you can do to win their love and commitment, or even whether you're going crazy.
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People in relationships with avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness.
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Everyone thrives on love, comfort, and the safety of family, friends, and community. But if you are denied these basic comforts early in life through a lack of physical affection or emotional bonding, you may develop intense fears of abandonment that can last well into adulthood - fears so powerful that they can actually cause you to push people away. If you suffer from fears of abandonment, you may have underlying feelings of anger, shame, fear, anxiety, depression, and grief.
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 183
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Featured on Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael, this definitive look at the dynamics of male-female communication gets to the heart of the all-too-common phenomenon: women who are ready and willing to commit, and men who back off just as the relationship moves toward the next level. This book can help you recognize early warning signs of the commitmentphobic man and avoid unnecessary stress and heartache.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 61
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 232
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 191
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 192
People in relationships with avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness.
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Everyone thrives on love, comfort, and the safety of family, friends, and community. But if you are denied these basic comforts early in life through a lack of physical affection or emotional bonding, you may develop intense fears of abandonment that can last well into adulthood - fears so powerful that they can actually cause you to push people away. If you suffer from fears of abandonment, you may have underlying feelings of anger, shame, fear, anxiety, depression, and grief.
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You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being his or her backup plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding up back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If you were brought up in the Western world, you've been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are.
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Learn secrets about men and the dishonest games they play that most women will never know. Most women are very surprised when a man becomes distant, when they find out he wasn't as interested as he seemed, or worse, when everything he said turns out to be a blatant lie. It's time to use the secrets of the men who "play" games with women.
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO eye opening
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Most women are very surprised when a man becomes distant, when he's afraid to commit, or, worse, when he just stops calling and runs away. It’s time to use the secrets of the male mind, and learn about men and what scares them away.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So real!!
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,676
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,817
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Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking audiobook, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many best-selling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships - until now.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Do not buy the audible version.
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 153
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 123
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10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men - written by the founders of the hugely popular women's relationship website Anewmode.com - is an honest, non-sugarcoated guide to understanding men and cracking their code, so you can finally have the love you've always wanted...instead of wasting time on dead-end relationships that leave you emotionally drained and brokenhearted.
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5 out of 5 stars
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one of the best relationship reads ever!
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 311
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In this audiobook, you'll get an inside look at how a man thinks and interacts with a woman when he's not that interested in her. It's extremely difficult for a man to waste your time and treat you like a short-term plaything without exhibiting certain unmistakable behaviors that clearly communicate that he's trying to keep you interested...but unclaimed.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A High Quality Woman'S MUST READ
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 170
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 140
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 135
Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more pain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted - to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction - and surviving the split.
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5 out of 5 stars
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incredible
- By Yvonne Vazquez on 04-20-17
Editorial Reviews
Why do some people seem incapable of forming lasting relationships? This audiobook argues that people who frequently find themselves in short, unsatisfying unions often have unexplored commitment issues they need to address. In firm but reassuring tones, performer Kevin Young presents the authors' findings, drawn from hundreds of interviews, which show relationship problems may be less about your partners and more about you. The authors also share helpful strategies to identify, understand, and resolve your issues so that you can be free to pursue the deep and sustained love you deserve.
Publisher's Summary
Available for the first time in audiobook, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitment phobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships.
Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offers guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
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4.5 out of 5 stars
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- the one
- 11-10-15
I definitely have commitment issues
The last half of this book was awesome the first half was pretty good too but I feel like there are too many stories. You could definitely get what you need out of this book by reading the last half of it.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Shilpa
- 12-21-16
Everything said in this is so precise !
its almost like my own my minds voice! love it. I just hope there is a way to have the love back.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- AUAlum1998
- APO, AE, US
- 05-10-16
it's eye opening for sure
A good book to understand why men leave out of the blue and help to cope with the fact that there is nothing you can do about it.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sandy
- 09-15-18
Wish I'd read this 20 years ago.
Hard to hear. Like looking into a mirror. I've been both. Good to have some light, finally, on my confusion.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- IB
- 08-18-18
Wish I had read this book 20 years ago!
It explains most of the confusing things I have encountered in relationships, for example a partner leaving suddenly at the height of happiness blindsiding the other. And that the panic doesn't have to set in at the beginning, but can also start after marriage, children, buying a house etc. It was absolutely enlightening to read. Thank you to the authors for putting words to something I could never understand. Every young women who is starting to date should read this book to be aware of these complex and sometimes paradox dynamics.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Karen P
- 08-08-17
An eye opening read!
This book is excellent, full of insightful and eye-opening information for you to use immediately in your current or future relationships.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Gaylena Collins
- 05-30-17
Great help for commitment issues
This book has been very helpful to me with my commitment issues, and it helped me get to the source of the problem. Helpful information
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Wendy
- 04-14-17
Still Love this guy. - Lu
Oh my, book just described {L.L} my BOYFRIEND of almost 7yrs.
We've broken up 3 different times within a 2yr. per,
1st:Aug.2013-Jan.2014 (Proposed💍)
(Moved out 1 mo. after I was laid off)
2nd:Aug2015-Dec.2015(Returned💍)
Moved out 1 mo. after getting hired 45 miles away from home.
3rd:Aug.2016-Present {Pending}
Don't live together, spend every other weekend together, I think this I'll probably be our last attempt to salvage what's left of our relationship. Thanks Never got the engagement ring back !!!! Guess he realized it was a mistake.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Keturah Jordan
- 02-10-17
Amazing Insight
Helped my to understand so much and have realistic expectations of my partner and myself.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Roxann AA
- 01-05-17
Very useful
Loved the book. Highly recommend it. Removes lots of myths and enigma from simple relationships problems.