Fed Up

Publisher's Summary

A rousing call to arms, packed with surprising insights, that explores how carrying "the mental load" - the thankless day-to-day anticipating of needs and solving of problems large and small - is adversely affecting women’s lives and feeding gender inequality, and shows the way forward for better balancing our lives.

Launching a heated national conversation with her viral article "Women Aren’t Nags; We’re Just Fed Up" - viewed more than two billion times - journalist Gemma Hartley gave voice to the frustration and anger of countless women putting in the hidden, underappreciated, and absolutely draining mental work that consists of keeping everyone in their lives comfortable and happy. Bringing long-overdue awareness to the daunting reality of emotional labor in our lives, Hartley defines the largely invisible but demanding, time-consuming, and exhausting "worry work" that falls disproportionately and unfairly on all women - no matter their economic class or level of education.

Synthesizing a wide variety of sources - history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology - Hartley makes the invisible visible, unveiling the surprising shapes emotional labor takes at work, at home, in relationships, and in parenting. With on-the-ground reporting, identifiable personal stories, and interviews from around the world, this feminist manifesto will empower women to transform their inner dialogue and give all women the emotional fortitude and courage to ask for what we most want - without shame, without guilt, and without the emotional baggage.

Beyond naming the problem, Fed Up offers practical advice and solutions for teaching both men and women how to wield emotional labor to live more full and satisfying lives. Hartley helps us to see emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue we can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world for ourselves and most importantly, our children. 

Insightful, surprising, deeply relatable, and filled with all-too-familiar moments, this provocative, intelligent, and empathetic guide is essential listening for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

©2018 Gemma Hartley (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers

Tiring Rant

I was really hopeful that this book would help with how to deal with emotional labor. I kept trying to listen, but chapter after chapter was just another rant. I tried skipping around to see if there was content that was useful, but each chapter was the start of another rant. It felt like she wrote a book to unload her mental labor which felt like I'd picked up a bunch of mental labor. Disappointed in what this book could have been.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

5% helpful content, 95% rant and repeat

The first chapter was helpful in defining the term emotional labor. It also validated a lot of women's burdens that often go unnoticed and minimized from society at large; however after that it became a constant rant on gender inequality with the same examples being repeated over and over again. The book literally should have been kept as the hapers bizarre article she kept referring too. Save your time by reading the article and skip the overindulgent negativity the rest of the book provides.

7 of 11 people found this review helpful

couldn't stand to listen any longer

got about 3 hours into this extra long "do more" letter to her husband. the majority of the book is how he doesn't do enough, but he's great. and in case you are wondering she says "emotional labor" 18,726 times!!!! it was so often I heard nothing else.

Okay, not what I thought it would be

Struggled to listen although there were moments of interest. Some areas didn't not resonate for me

Enjoyable, thought provoking and a real blueprint for the future

I wasn’t sure how I would feel about listening to a book like this but I never seem to have the time to sit down and read these types of books. The topic resonated so I took the chance. And I am so glad I did.

The book itself was a thoughtful amalgamation of the personal and the researched information on emotional labor. Better still the author gives some real answers and guidance (she doesn’t just ask the questions, a trap so many fall into).

The narrator is also a key part of this story. She read the story as I imagine the author would have. With emphasis and pauses such that I actually looked it back up to see if it was indeed the author reading the book herself.

I strongly recommend the book and trying the audible version. We are busy after all!

Repetitive Yet Good

First of all, I found this book repetitive in the extreme ... same idea repeated hundreds of times in nearly the same words for over 250 pages. Yet I feel that as a mother and wife it is nice to hear that you are not alone in a lot of the things she explained and that females are not the only ones that feel this way. Try listening to this with a male or even your husband so you can hear that wow he feeling the same way and you have not been aware. See as humans we are all different and in a relationship where one might be fed up another can think it is perfection.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful