February the Fifth: The First Hilarious Glothic Tale

By: Derek Haines

Narrated by: Persephone Rose

Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins

Publisher's Summary

Welcome to Gloth

After the sudden and mysterious death of his father, a young fool becomes the ruler of 12 whole sun systems and quickly discovers he has some very nasty enemies. Particularly the ones who, quite quickly, start shooting at him.

In a remarkable turn of events, a young man with a lot definitely not going for him manages to come to terms with a startling reality. He has to grow up. Being handicapped by having rather nasty acne and an odd eye impediment, he also has to suffer the fact that his name is February. Or, at best, Feb to his very limited number of friends.

While not at all wishing to rush into this startling new reality, circumstances and a few elbow nudges from his very protective elder sister ensure that his "not at all wishing" turns out to be a complete waste of time. Thrust totally and unwillingly into a position of authority by early afternoon, February finds himself with a new appendage tacked on to the end his name. 

The Fifth. The new and very authoritative part of his name. February the Fifth and Supreme Potentate of the 12 Sun Systems of Gloth.

Of course, as is the case in all such rapid and thrusting types of promotion to positions of power, there will be those who are not happy about it. In February’s case, however, he finds that in fact these those amount to just about everyone apart from his three sisters.

Undaunted by this reality, Feb accepts his new responsibility and by early evening sets about getting himself into a real tangle. His only true achievement being that he discovers that quite a few of these those who weren’t so happy are in fact really very upset about the whole Fifth appendage deal. By bedtime, he thinks he is in trouble.

Before lunchtime the next day, he is sure.

Listen to February the Fifth, a laugh a minute romp around the galaxy.

©2014 Derek Haines (P)2018 Wordwooze Publishing

Give the Author a sigar!

Very entertaining listen! And yes, Derek Haines hit my funny bone many times. I will be listening to more from Derek. I highly recommend this book. Now for the obligatory: "I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."

nice adventure

a very nice adventure story very likeable and well-written I liked it a lot I will not call it hilarious but it was quite funny in some parts the narrator was good and overall it was a great story
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review

February the Fifth

I found this to be an enjoyable listen. There’s humor, action, corruption, loyalty, but most importantly a young boy becoming a man and fulfilling a role as he was meant to.

Derek Haines has written an interesting story, and there was enough action to keep me from putting it down. The narration by Persephone Rose added to my enjoyment.

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.

Funny entertaining story

I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but really loved it, I went listened to it in one sitting. Hoping for another in the same universe. I really enjoyed the transformation of the main character.

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.

A bit of a young teen adventure

I interpret this story as meant for, say, 10-13 year olds. Which is not what I expected, I thought it was meant for adults. So I tried to listen like perhaps a parent of a young teen. As such, I think it was an okay(ish) story. I like the concept of a dynasty somewhere far away in the galaxy, the members of which are all called by the names of our months. I also like the idea of a world that has a rich history, of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of years.
However, there is far too much exposition in this book. Everything is explained at length and, frankly, ad nauseum, with grown-up characters listening and reacting to the speaker/teacher like school children. Also, inspite of the title, there was no hilariousness to be found in this story... But then again, I am not a young teen, so who knows, they might like it a lot and the exposition might help children grasp the story better.

So I find it difficult to give it a review score. As a children's book it might be very good but I cannot really make an educated guess at that, not being the target audience. As an adult's book it's not good. So, I'm scoring it "okay".

Narration was good, and sometimes even great, with some nice voice acting.

~ I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. I was not required to write a positive review and this reflects my honest opinion of the work.

Not "hilarious", but worth it

At first, I omitted the "l" and read it as a "gothic" tale. Wasn't too sure what I was in for after I realized my error. However, the tale of February the Fifth, Supreme Potentate of the 12 Sun Systems of Gloth turned out to be a very enjoyable listen. It's not a laugh a minute, but what it is is a good, lighthearted sci-fi story. The plot is actually a typical comedic fantasy plot, with a ruler that isn't ready getting thrust into the job. Feb adapts quickly, and by the end of the book he has made new friends, and has truly found his purpose, Not to give anything away, but the final scene in the Glothic government chambers was really worth the price of admission. Persephone Rose really gives the story that something that draws you in. While some parts seemed a little rushed, and could benefit from a bit more space between sentences, the overall project is well worth your time and money. I already have the second book on my list to get! I received this promo copy at my request via Audiobook Boom, and have voluntarily left this review.

Beautifully funny book.

There's nothing I love more than a comedic sci-fi or fantasy story except one that also manages to bring a sense of world building to the table. And February the Fifth manages to do all of those things and then some. The writing is witty and clever with an obvious influence of British humor (a la Adams and Pratchett), but it's also unique. Feb is a great character because he is a little stupid and he is quite awful to look at but that doesn't stop him from taking control of the situation he's thrown into. I would love to listen to the rest of this series.

Persephone Rose was the perfect choice for this book. He manages to capture the characters and the humor perfectly. I hope he gets to do more dry humor type books.

**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.**

Fun, Funny, and Great Story

This story was way more fun than I originally anticipated.

A fun romp through the sun systems.

Follow February the Fifth as he unravels the mysteries of his family and finds the reason that he must become the Supreme Potentate.

Derek Haines does a fabulous job writing wonderfully quirky characters that while flawed are endearing.

Persephone Rose does a tremendous job of bringing this rag tag group of misfits to life while telling the story.

I would happily recommend this story.


I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

Into, across, through or around ... at top speed.

When a monotone messenger wakes February to tell him that his father and two elder brothers are dead, the young man's life is instantly changed from one of indolence and solitary playing of backgammon into, well, one of gentle but decisive action as he defends his newly acquired position of Supreme Potentate of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth.

This delightful science fiction comedy of political intrigue might not be high literature but it is certainly funny,. February the Fifth is an endearing character, who, with big sister April and a few newly found friends, has to circumnavigate the draconian powers invested in others to discover not only what happened to his brothers but also who he really is himself. Nearly poisoned and arrested and chased through space as he looks for the mysterious Cavern of Clavius - he only took the job as Supreme Potentate to stop the title going to his nasty little cousin, December.

Simp!y written and easy to read, this quirky story is funny and enjoyable for all ages, a bit !Joe the old Ealing comedies. Narrated with full understanding and involvement by the talented and pleasant to hear Persephone Rose, each curiously named character is given their own distinctive and appropriate voice: those of the two lizard-like pilots are especially excellent. All is clearly articulated, read with smooth perfection and a warmth which drives the book forward. A fine performance.

A perfect book for light entertainment. It will make the reader smile, or even laugh out loud. A good story filled with delightful chafzcters, the names of the protagonists alone make this a book worth reading.
Recommended.