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Everybody Fights
- So Why Not Get Better at It?
- Narrated by: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's Summary
A USA Today and Wall Street Journal best seller!
Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.
We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?
For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?
With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle - and maybe laugh a little more along the way.
In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:
- Use “magic words” for healthy conflict resolution
- Address unspoken and unrealistic expectations
- Banish the three Ds of unhealthy communication - distraction, denial, and delay
- Carry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs
Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!
What listeners say about Everybody Fights
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Corrales Reader
- 04-09-21
if I had known...
I didn't know this was released by a Christian publisher, and if I had known I might not have bought it (in spite of loving Kim and Penn's videos). I am so glad I didn't know because it is fabulous, with insights that apply to improving all relationships. Towards the end there was a story about a fight starting right before a Christmas pageant, but that's it. No biblical tales, no preaching, nothing about religion. In my mind, that makes this book accessible to all. Excellent, hilarious reading by the authors. I laughed and learned. Thanks guys!
93 people found this helpful
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- Craig Hopkins
- 06-22-21
Simply Outstanding! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
My husband and I spend a LOT of time driving together in the car. He drives 99.9% of the time…I do all the planning, packing, and helping the time in the car go by painlessly by choosing and playing all the podcasts and audiobooks to which we listen on the drives.
Huge RECOMMENDATION for the audiobook “Everybody Fights” by Kim and Penn Holderness. It was fantastic and provided us with wonderful introspection and conversation during our drive to/from Lake Winnipesaukee on our vacation. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
PS: it’s *much* better as an audiobook because they read it themselves and have a ton of extra ad libbing that makes you feel like you’re listening to friends who are talking to you and making you laugh. ❤️❤️
24 people found this helpful
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- M. George
- 04-01-21
Great for all marriages and relationships!
No matter how long you've been married or in a relationship, this book has something for you. From real-life stories that are so easy to relate to, you can get help on a variety of relationship problems from people who have messed up and learned to do it better. I love the audio version because you can feel how personal the advice is and know it's okay because your not the only one with fights like these, and it can get better!
21 people found this helpful
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- Lisa
- 04-08-21
Loved every part of this!
I’m a huge Holderness Family fan and this book did not disappoint. I loved hearing it read from their own voices. They even go off on a few tangents and tell a couple stories that I believe are not actually written in the book, so that’s fun! It was funny (of course) but also emotional and very real. The advice and strategies they provide in this book are excellent. Sharing bits and pieces of this book with my fiancé as I was listening has already been helpful! The discussions we have had about these strategies during a happy, typical evening will allow us to be better at recognizing the issues before they blow up into a fight, and be more prepared to handle them appropriately once they do happen. We have realized we already do a lot of the positive suggestions they offer in this book and it has made me feel that much more confident that I have found the right person.
14 people found this helpful
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- Kristen Biehl
- 03-31-21
Must Buy Audiobook! Get the hard copy, too!
I bought the physical book and the audiobook. The audiobook is excellent- it’s read by the authors, and it’s exactly like enjoying their podcast (which you should also check out). Plus, Penn brought his guitar and a piano into the recording studio, so you get bonus content! They go off script enough that it feels like you’re in a live book talk with them throughout. Loved it. The hard copy, though, is nice for referencing back to (something I will be doing frequently) and flagging important pages. They use visual cues “important boxes” to draw your attention to discussion points and key questions.
Penn and Kim are honest, sincere, and real about the ups and downs of marriage, maintaining relationships, and the ways we engage with the ones we love in helpful and damaging ways. They outline clear suggestions for how each person in the relationships can improve communication for better results and more peaceful coexisting, giving specific tasks and discussion starters to use. Every advice piece is enveloped in a personal story or anecdote that helps the reader connect to the issue at hand and identify similar problems in their own lives. It’s very evident how much work they have done in their own marriage, and I love that they have reached their goal of creating something lasting to bring healing and support to the families they entertain every week on YouTube and Facebook.
I really enjoyed following this family over the last few years, and they have been a bright spot in our pandemic lives. Now, they are helping us in a whole new way to repair and maintain our most important relationships. Buy a copy for yourself and your spouse. Read it together and discuss for maximum impact!
11 people found this helpful
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- Julia Garcia Barron
- 03-31-21
Light and fun
Their personal stories and examples made the read easy. It's a light and fun, and the advice is solid. I can wait to listen with my guy.
9 people found this helpful
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- Carlyn90
- 07-17-21
Love these Two
Even if you dont know this couple from their popular videos and podcast you should give this a listen. Yes it's a marriage advice book, which I didnt think I needed. Being a fan, I thought Id give it a shot. The books focus is on communication and respect that transcends marriage. Penn and Kim are charming and funny storytellers who also will make you tear up a bit. They didn't so much read the book, as have a conversation. This made me connect with them and there stories.
8 people found this helpful
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- Just_me
- 07-18-21
Awesome book!
I didn't expect to like this as much as I did!
Love that they did their own narration, this is a book that is best listened to!
3 people found this helpful
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- Lorine Smith
- 06-23-21
outstanding read
love this couple on you tube videos. was thrilled to see they wrote a marriage book. they did not disappoint! they brought humor and great ideas . we looked forward to listening to our segment each night. READ IT!!
3 people found this helpful
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- Alamo Don
- 04-01-21
Not For Everbody but Pretty Gooe
I'd like to see the book by their minister/therapist in that the major concepts are attributed to him. It is a fast moving book which dwells a little bit too long on depression and a biting dog .Overall worthy purchase,!
3 people found this helpful
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- The Fear-Fighter Manual
- By: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Luvvie Ajayi Jones is known for her trademark wit, warmth, and perpetual truth-telling. But even she's been challenged by the enemy of progress known as fear. She was once afraid to call herself a writer, and nearly skipped out on doing a TED talk that changed her life because of imposter syndrome. As she shares in Professional Troublemaker, she's not alone.
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I’m missing something
- By Cheval Violet on 04-22-21
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The Game of Desire
- 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
- By: Shannon Boodram
- Narrated by: Shannon Boodram
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For younger generations, dating is a complicated mystery. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are supposed to foster connection but instead serve as a reminder of how painfully single we are. Certified sexologist and intimacy coach Shan Boodram - the most sought-after sex educator on the internet - is about to change all that. In this essential how-to guide, she addresses the realities of life today - when the rules of love and attraction are fluid - and teaches a group of young women how to become master daters in just 60 days.
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Hey it’s me...you
- By Shan Boody on 09-25-19
By: Shannon Boodram
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The Five Invitations
- Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
- By: Frank Ostaseski
- Narrated by: Frank Ostaseski
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight, helping us to discover what matters most. Life and death are a package deal. They cannot be pulled apart, and we cannot truly live unless we are aware of death. The Five Invitations is an exhilarating meditation on the meaning of life and how maintaining an ever-present consciousness of death can bring us closer to our truest selves.
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A wonderful resource for caregivers, patients
- By Elizabeth Kerin on 02-05-18
By: Frank Ostaseski
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The Second Happy
- Seven Practices to Make Your Marriage Better than Your Honeymoon
- By: Kevin Myers, Marcia Myers, Charles Wetzel - contributor
- Narrated by: Kevin Myers, Marcia Myers
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nearly every marriage starts out happy, and if we're honest, nearly every marriage at some point becomes unhappy. Is there a solution? Kevin and Marcia Myers, married for 37 years through nearly every challenge a couple can face, emphatically say yes. Rooted in Scripture and contemporary insights from the Myers' marriage, as well as real stories from other couples, this revelatory book shows how any marriage can regain depth, meaning and, yes, happiness.
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Worth a Read for anyone at any point of your relationship
- By Jessica on 10-31-21
By: Kevin Myers, and others
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Get Your Life Back
- Everyday Practices for a World Gone Mad
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Get Your Life Back, New York Times best-selling author John Eldredge provides a practical, simple, and refreshing guide to taking your life back. By practicing a few wonderfully simple practices - or what John calls “graces” - you can begin to recover your soul, disentangle from the tragedies of this broken world, and discover the restorative power of beauty.
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For Such A Time As This
- By Gretchen Costanzo on 04-18-20
By: John Eldredge
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To Hell with the Hustle
- Reclaiming Your Life in an Overworked, Overspent, and Overconnected World
- By: Jefferson Bethke
- Narrated by: Jefferson Bethke
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This is your wake-up call to resist the Hustle culture and embrace the slowness of Jesus. Our culture makes constant demands of us: Do more. Accomplish more. Buy more. Post more. Be more. In following these demands, we have indeed become more: More anxious. More tired. More hurt. More depressed. More frantic. What we are doing isn't working! In a society where hustle is the expectation, busyness is the norm and information is king, we have forgotten the fundamentals that make us human, anchor our lives, and provide meaning.
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Meh. Listen to John Mark Comer instead.
- By Mackenzie W on 01-30-20
By: Jefferson Bethke
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Professional Troublemaker
- The Fear-Fighter Manual
- By: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Luvvie Ajayi Jones is known for her trademark wit, warmth, and perpetual truth-telling. But even she's been challenged by the enemy of progress known as fear. She was once afraid to call herself a writer, and nearly skipped out on doing a TED talk that changed her life because of imposter syndrome. As she shares in Professional Troublemaker, she's not alone.
-
-
I’m missing something
- By Cheval Violet on 04-22-21
-
The Game of Desire
- 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
- By: Shannon Boodram
- Narrated by: Shannon Boodram
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For younger generations, dating is a complicated mystery. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are supposed to foster connection but instead serve as a reminder of how painfully single we are. Certified sexologist and intimacy coach Shan Boodram - the most sought-after sex educator on the internet - is about to change all that. In this essential how-to guide, she addresses the realities of life today - when the rules of love and attraction are fluid - and teaches a group of young women how to become master daters in just 60 days.
-
-
Hey it’s me...you
- By Shan Boody on 09-25-19
By: Shannon Boodram
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The Five Invitations
- Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
- By: Frank Ostaseski
- Narrated by: Frank Ostaseski
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight, helping us to discover what matters most. Life and death are a package deal. They cannot be pulled apart, and we cannot truly live unless we are aware of death. The Five Invitations is an exhilarating meditation on the meaning of life and how maintaining an ever-present consciousness of death can bring us closer to our truest selves.
-
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A wonderful resource for caregivers, patients
- By Elizabeth Kerin on 02-05-18
By: Frank Ostaseski
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Do It Scared
- Finding the Courage to Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, and Create a Life You Love
- By: Ruth Soukup
- Narrated by: Ruth Soukup, Abby Rike
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Do It Scared, by popular blogger and podcast host Ruth Soukup, is the essential handbook for any woman who has ever felt like she is sitting on the sidelines of her own life and is finally ready to jump in, dream big, and go after her goals. Equal parts inspiration and tough love, Do It Scared combines easy-to-implement tips with the motivation to start making real changes that lead to big results.
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Good concept
- By The Quirky Ferret on 11-27-19
By: Ruth Soukup
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The Unwinding of the Miracle
- A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After
- By: Julie Yip-Williams
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller, Joshua Williams
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
That Julie Yip-Williams survived infancy was a miracle. Then, at age 37, with two little girls at home, Julie was diagnosed with terminal metastatic colon cancer, and a different journey began. The Unwinding of the Miracle is the story of a vigorous life refracted through the prism of imminent death. When she was first diagnosed, Julie Yip-Williams sought clarity and guidance through the experience and, finding none, began to write her way through it - a chronicle that grew beyond her imagining.
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Heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time
- By Cristina on 02-18-19
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Brave, Not Perfect
- Fear Less, Fail More, and Live Bolder
- By: Reshma Saujani
- Narrated by: Reshma Saujani
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In this audiobook inspired by her popular TED Talk, the founder and CEO of Girls Who Code urges women to embrace imperfection and live a bolder, more authentic life. By choosing bravery over perfection, we can find the power to claim our voice, to leave behind what makes us unhappy, and to go for the things we genuinely, passionately want. In Brave, Not Perfect, Saujani shares powerful insights and practices to help us let go of our need for perfection and make bravery a lifelong habit.
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Good for Husbands Trying Understand their Wives Better
- By Corey Watts on 10-08-19
By: Reshma Saujani
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So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know
- By: Retta
- Narrated by: Retta
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know, Parks and Recreation star Retta takes us on her not-so-meteoric rise from roaches to riches (well, rich enough that she can buy $15,000 designer handbags yet scared enough to know she's always a heartbeat away from ramen with American cheese). Throwing her hardworking Liberian parents through a loop, Retta abandons her plan to attend med school after graduating Duke University to move to Hollywood to star in her own sitcom - like her comedy heroes Lucille Ball and Roseanne.
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I devoured this audiobook
- By Kindle Customer on 05-31-18
By: Retta
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Nine Nasty Words
- English in the Gutter: Then, Now, and Forever
- By: John McWhorter
- Narrated by: John McWhorter
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Profanity has always been a deliciously vibrant part of our lexicon, an integral part of being human. In fact, our ability to curse comes from a different part of the brain than other parts of speech - the urgency with which we say "f--k!" is instead related to the instinct that tells us to flee from danger. Language evolves with time, and so does what we consider profane or unspeakable. Nine Nasty Words is a rollicking examination of profanity, explored from every angle: historical, sociological, political, linguistic.
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Wonderful book!
- By BrittPet on 06-25-21
By: John McWhorter