Everybody Fights

So Why Not Get Better at It?

By: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness

Narrated by: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness

Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins

Publisher's Summary

A USA Today and Wall Street Journal best seller!

Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle - and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:

• Use “magic words” for healthy conflict resolution
• Address unspoken and unrealistic expectations
• Banish the three Ds of unhealthy communication - distraction, denial, and delay
• Carry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs

Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!

©2021 Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness (P)2021 Thomas Nelson

if I had known...

I didn't know this was released by a Christian publisher, and if I had known I might not have bought it (in spite of loving Kim and Penn's videos). I am so glad I didn't know because it is fabulous, with insights that apply to improving all relationships. Towards the end there was a story about a fight starting right before a Christmas pageant, but that's it. No biblical tales, no preaching, nothing about religion. In my mind, that makes this book accessible to all. Excellent, hilarious reading by the authors. I laughed and learned. Thanks guys!

Simply Outstanding! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My husband and I spend a LOT of time driving together in the car. He drives 99.9% of the time…I do all the planning, packing, and helping the time in the car go by painlessly by choosing and playing all the podcasts and audiobooks to which we listen on the drives.
Huge RECOMMENDATION for the audiobook “Everybody Fights” by Kim and Penn Holderness. It was fantastic and provided us with wonderful introspection and conversation during our drive to/from Lake Winnipesaukee on our vacation. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
PS: it’s *much* better as an audiobook because they read it themselves and have a ton of extra ad libbing that makes you feel like you’re listening to friends who are talking to you and making you laugh. ❤️❤️

Great for all marriages and relationships!

No matter how long you've been married or in a relationship, this book has something for you. From real-life stories that are so easy to relate to, you can get help on a variety of relationship problems from people who have messed up and learned to do it better. I love the audio version because you can feel how personal the advice is and know it's okay because your not the only one with fights like these, and it can get better!

Loved every part of this!

I’m a huge Holderness Family fan and this book did not disappoint. I loved hearing it read from their own voices. They even go off on a few tangents and tell a couple stories that I believe are not actually written in the book, so that’s fun! It was funny (of course) but also emotional and very real. The advice and strategies they provide in this book are excellent. Sharing bits and pieces of this book with my fiancé as I was listening has already been helpful! The discussions we have had about these strategies during a happy, typical evening will allow us to be better at recognizing the issues before they blow up into a fight, and be more prepared to handle them appropriately once they do happen. We have realized we already do a lot of the positive suggestions they offer in this book and it has made me feel that much more confident that I have found the right person.

Must Buy Audiobook! Get the hard copy, too!

I bought the physical book and the audiobook. The audiobook is excellent- it’s read by the authors, and it’s exactly like enjoying their podcast (which you should also check out). Plus, Penn brought his guitar and a piano into the recording studio, so you get bonus content! They go off script enough that it feels like you’re in a live book talk with them throughout. Loved it. The hard copy, though, is nice for referencing back to (something I will be doing frequently) and flagging important pages. They use visual cues “important boxes” to draw your attention to discussion points and key questions.

Penn and Kim are honest, sincere, and real about the ups and downs of marriage, maintaining relationships, and the ways we engage with the ones we love in helpful and damaging ways. They outline clear suggestions for how each person in the relationships can improve communication for better results and more peaceful coexisting, giving specific tasks and discussion starters to use. Every advice piece is enveloped in a personal story or anecdote that helps the reader connect to the issue at hand and identify similar problems in their own lives. It’s very evident how much work they have done in their own marriage, and I love that they have reached their goal of creating something lasting to bring healing and support to the families they entertain every week on YouTube and Facebook.

I really enjoyed following this family over the last few years, and they have been a bright spot in our pandemic lives. Now, they are helping us in a whole new way to repair and maintain our most important relationships. Buy a copy for yourself and your spouse. Read it together and discuss for maximum impact!

Light and fun

Their personal stories and examples made the read easy. It's a light and fun, and the advice is solid. I can wait to listen with my guy.

Love these Two

Even if you dont know this couple from their popular videos and podcast you should give this a listen. Yes it's a marriage advice book, which I didnt think I needed. Being a fan, I thought Id give it a shot. The books focus is on communication and respect that transcends marriage. Penn and Kim are charming and funny storytellers who also will make you tear up a bit. They didn't so much read the book, as have a conversation. This made me connect with them and there stories.

Awesome book!

I didn't expect to like this as much as I did!
Love that they did their own narration, this is a book that is best listened to!

outstanding read

love this couple on you tube videos. was thrilled to see they wrote a marriage book. they did not disappoint! they brought humor and great ideas . we looked forward to listening to our segment each night. READ IT!!

Not For Everbody but Pretty Gooe

I'd like to see the book by their minister/therapist in that the major concepts are attributed to him. It is a fast moving book which dwells a little bit too long on depression and a biting dog .Overall worthy purchase,!