Earth Fathers Are Weird

By: Lyn Gala

Narrated by: John Solo

Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins

Publisher's summary

Captain Maxwell Davis and his entire unit scrambled to engage alien ships over Iowa. The aliens snatched him out of his destroyed jet before they continued on their interplanetary hot pursuit. Then they informed Max that Earth was too far outside regular shipping lanes to return him to his planet.

So Max ends up in an alien spaceport looking for work. To afford a ticket home he can either spend 300 years working with linguists to improve the computer's questionable ability to translate English or he can take a job as a nanny for an unpopular alien. That way he can afford the ticket in four years. The problem is that the computer may have mistranslated the word "nanny" and there might be a reason an alien is willing to pay such a high fee.

©2019 Lyn Gala (P)2020 Lyn Gala

Such a weird delightful story

I read this short story last year and loved it. And when the audio version came out, I couldn't resist. John Solo does an awesome job bringing Max Rick and the "offspring" to life. I would never have dreamed that an author could make an asymmetrical multi tentacled cephlapod romantic and so endearing. Rick is just sweet, and Max ends up thinking so too! I defy anyone not to fall in love with the spinning, swimming whirling dervish mini adults that are the offspring.
Everything about this story was so different, unique, so out of the box. If you are adverse to human/tentacle love stay away. otherwise this story is an all around winner. I just wish it was longer. John Solo's narration is great.

I was so bored.

I found this book adequately consumable. The tentacle and mpreg goodies was enjoyable. I was really annoyed though at the middle of the book for that oddly placed invader scene. And some of the forced drama towards the end.

That invader scene just comes out of nowhere, has no context to back up why its happening and was paced so weird that i was so detached from what was going on.
It was poor writing and there needed to be some better tools to get a reader to care otherwise it felt too plugged in. None of the plot felt like it came naturally and really made this difficult to want to keep reading.

I cared about everyones safety but it oh most felt just, too sudden, absolutely no build up or expectations happened the action just sorta happened. It felt like the author was desperately trying to get the reader to feel tension. The majority of the book is sugary sweet and fluffy so maybe that scene was intended to give variety? I don't understand, it was like reading a completely different book with no preparation or attempt to phase the reader into it.

The Erotic scenes were well done but they weren't nearly good enough to have to slog through this boring book for.

I really dont understand the good review on this book, i feel like maybe I'm not reading the same book. Or maybe this book's quality is being overblown because it caters to a very specific kink for like 20 minutes.

Anyways i enjoyed the book enough to finish it but cant say I'll remember it by tomorrow and probably never touch it again.

If you absolutely must have tentacle erotica in your life, this book is a maybe if you can just skip through the plot to get to the two Erotic scenes.

Otherwise, please make a better use of your time and find something better to read.

What makes a family? My guess: LOVE & TENTACLES!

<b>**AUDIOBOOK: May 2020 ❤️❤️❤️ I LOVED IT SO HARD!!! What a fabulous performance by the incomparable John Solo—can he do space or can he do space?!

How happy was I to get to listen to this story on audiobook...I NEED a FOLLOW-UP because Max and Rick & the offspring are simply precious!

I loved the ebook and now THIS! I already want to relisten to it. ❤️🌈🙌

Original ebook review: March 2019

You had me at tentacles, Lyn Gala. I absolutely DEVOURED this! 4.5 Squiggly Stars!!!

Imagine: alien ships come zipping around our modern day planet. Our fighter jets fly off to save the planet from alien invaders. One mouthy pilot goes for a Hail Mary and gets captured.

Welcome to a spaceport not even George Lucas could have imagined! Say hello to tentacles of all flavors and sizes!

So what happens to our stranded pilot? He needs cash to get home so he takes a job as a “nanny” for an alien from a disliked species. After his initial medical exam, which has an unexpected happy ending, said pilot is left to his own devices.

Where are the kids? He must wait to meet them. In the meantime he spends his days working on translations, running around the ship, swimming, and hanging out with Rick, our asymmetrical tentacled alien with a smattering of eyes all around his head.

Being the smart, deductive reader that you are, you can guess why our smarmy pilot has yet to meet the kids he is supposed to nanny.

Imagine Hunk Solo’s surprise when he figures it out!

There it is, all laid out for you. And while that bit of exposition was fun, it’s nothing to what comes next!!! Wow!!

You simply MUST READ THIS!!!! HEA to the moon and beyond!!

I am closing with: TENTACLED BABIES ARE THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!!

I Loved It

It is a very entertaining and fun story with unique world building, cool characters and amusing communication devise. This book was my first experience where one of the main characters is an alien with tentacles, I didn't think it would be my thing and I was wrong on that. I loved it. From the first chapter till the epilogue I listened non stop unable to put the book down. Narrator did a great job with the story and the voices. I listened to other books narrated by John Solo and in every book his voice sounds different and a perfect fit for the setting and characters. This was a perfect listening experience, highly recommend.

Sweet, heart-warming tale of... tentacles?

Tentacles are a hard no for me. Just no. Seriously, WTF? I gave this book a chance anyway based on reviews from other listeners/readers and my knowledge that Lyn Gala does great with alternative romance. I'm glad I did! Tentacles are still a hard no, but gosh, Max and Rick are adorable.

You see, this story is SO FREAKING SWEET. Bothered by cephalopod lovin'? Me too, but it only happens twice, and both times are surprisingly tolerable since they're couched in solid plot reasons for it to be happening. They make sense & suit the story completely. This is NOT some hentai pwp fantasy. Our human lead Max and octopus alien lead Rick fall in love. Or... Fall in pair pond? Whatever. IT'S A LOVE STORY.

It's a unique, truly alien love story. Nothing grim or existential, just two different species learning each other and finding family. Family takes center stage. Our kinky human Max ends up liking tentacles, sure, but that takes a backseat as he falls in love with his boneless squid babies & octo-baby-daddy. Their connection feels genuine & leaves room for a great future. All their miscommunication at the beginning is hilarious and written so well. I was thoroughly engaged the entire time. Sidenote, points to Lyn Gala for the really cool setting on Rick's alien spaceship. All the odd winding passageways & giant swimming pool added to the strangeness and fun.

I also found discussions of beauty and difference very intriguing. Rick isn't just tentacled, he's asymmetrical and many-eyed. His speech is like belching! His species is strange even to aliens used to seeing different species. This makes for a bit of a struggle for Rick, who seems to have been bullied by the other aliens and can't find a surrogate for his young. Oh, my sweet tentacle monster. You deserve better. And he gets it with his weirdly symmetrical human with his oh-so-sexy asymmetrical guts. Odd, but whatever makes you happy, Rick. I left the book extremely happy for Max and Rick.

John Solo is at his best here. The narration is impeccable and adds so much to the story. He really makes listeners love the characters. As for intimate scenes, I usually find his performance a bit overdone personally (although he is immensely popular for these scenes with most listeners!), but in this story, it was actually helpful for me that his performance is intense. I suspect the intimate scenes would have felt too weird and unrealistic for me without John Solo selling the scene. Great work!

" To consider the Earth as the only populated...

...world in the infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field down with millet, only one grain will grow. "
~ Metrodorus of Chios , 4th century BCE

With Earth Fathers Are Weird , Lyn Gala kidnapped me, to her captivating and extraordinary universe and other galaxies and I more than willingly went along.

Just as Claimings, her other outstanding book series, Ms. Gala imagination and creativity shine in the world she built for Rick , the gentle and loud alien with multiple tentacles 🐙and eyes and for Max, a human Air force pilot who find himself in a strange planet with a faulty alien translation machine.

Thought provoking, well crafted , layered, emotional engaging and highly entertaining Earth Fathers Are Weird is a tale that you'll touch your heart and make you fall in love with 3 smart , wiggly and adorable little aliens.

John Solo narration of Earth Fathers Are Weird , exceed and surpass all my expectations. I gladly nominate his performance as the best audio of the year.

His portrayal of Alien language, that to human ears are long, loud, low-frequency clicks, whistles shirks , burbs, chirps being translated to English throughout faulty translation computer, was phenomenal, sort of endearing and strangely believable . All the Alien voices were different, easily identifiable and fit with character personalities.

Re-listen: Yes
Recommend: Yes
FYI: If you are looking for lots of tentacle porny times , you won't find it here.

#AudibleCreditWellSpent #ListenedOn2020 #BooksILove #LynGalaBooks #Audible

Favorite quotes
“To pair bond is to share stagnant waters and enjoy the condition of boring with an individual you find pleasing enough to seek repetitious experiences.” Max blinked and tried to restart his brain. “That is the strangest definition of marriage I have ever heard,”~

~“Max is not boring,” Rick said. He wrapped his tentacles around Max’s middle and squeezed. “I am symmetrical, at least externally.” “But internally asymmetrical. Rick rested a tentacle on his lower stomach. “Internally, Max is random and unpredictable.” Max narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying you find my intestines attractive?” Of all the pickup lines. Max had gotten in his life, and he had gotten a lot, that was the oddest. “Yes.” “You’re the weird one.” Rick shimmied.~

Enjoyable

I start not to get the book it looked crazy however after listening to it I am glad I got it , it was a good listen characters was very likable.

Fantastic

Really enjoyed this audiobook, lyn gala did a great job writing this book and John solo really brought it to life.

its not just earth fathers that are weird!!

so this was the oddest book I think ive listened to, clarification not odd just perception stretching lol it was very sweet and absolutely unique, would I read a book like this again? probably not, I like Gay Romance because I can be attracted to the main character and the romantic interest...….it was kinda like reading a gay romance but the romantic partner was a giant sex toy that interacted with the main character, definitely odd......not bad....but ODD.

Super Cute Story

This was such a good story! It was super sweet and cute and I'm so glad I decided to listen to it. The narrator did a fantastic job at bringing the story to life. I can't wait to get and listen to the second one.

such an interesting and different book

I really enjoyed this book. I didn't write know what to expect as this is my first tentacle book. the relationship that developed between Max and Rick is truly beautiful. John Solo's voices for each character definately lent a depth to the narrative. AWESOME.

3.5 stars mixed feelings

There were various aspects of this book that were great, but lots of it was just difficult to get into as well. It got better as the book went on. This isn’t a sexy alien book, but rather a real relationship and associated logistics. That will appeal to a lot of people - but there’s only a couple of intimate scenes. I’ve liked this author’s other books so I’ll definitely get more from them in the future.

Sweet and funny

I was so excited for this to come to audio and it didn't disappoint!! I didn't know much about the story going in so I was able to be caught by some of the fun surprises and really enjoyed it. There was a lot more humor in this book than I was expecting and I found my self laughing out loud several times through out. It also had some really adorable parts. I'm always amazed how Lyn manages to humanize and get us to connect with such unique characters that would usually be so far outside our comfort zone.

John Solo amazes me with how he manages to voice and bring to life the subtle language difficulties the characters have and really captures their personalities in it. He is so perfect for these books its mind blowing!

It was a really sweet and adorable book with lots of humor and some great action mixed in as well.

Fun

A great performance of a refreshingly different story. Looking forward to the sequel now

mm

not much to say..but the write up does not descbibe this books story very well imo...Lyn gala who I should have looked up as abit of an alien fetish ..this is..well..the MC is gay..no issues there..until he meets and alien with long tentacles..im sure I don't need to explain further

Good little odd book

A somewhat odd but actually very charming book about a human and aliens domestic situation. It's very well written and the audio performance is great. There is some tentacle "action" but this is in the minority of the book, while tentacles are not my thing it doesn't detract from the story of two oddballs falling in love.