Duped

Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married

By: Abby Ellin

Narrated by: Therese Plummer

Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins

Publisher's summary

Abby Ellin was shocked to learn that her fiancé was leading a secret life. But as she soon discovered, the world is full of people who aren't what they seem.

From Abby Ellin's first date with the commander, she was caught up in a whirlwind. Within six months, he'd proposed and they'd moved in together. But soon, his exotic stories of international espionage began to unravel. Finally, it all became clear: He was lying about who he was.

After leaving him and sharing her story, she was floored to find out that her experience was far from unique. People everywhere, many of them otherwise sharp-witted and self-aware, are being deceived by their loved ones every day.

In Duped, Abby Ellin studies the art and science of lying, talks to people who've had their worlds upended by duplicitous partners, and writes with great openness about her own mistakes. These remarkable stories reveal how often we encounter people whose lives beneath the surface are more improbable than we ever imagined.

©2019 Abby Ellin (P)2019 Hachette Audio

Critic reviews

"I have recommended this one to friends who've loved someone they turned out not to know... [Ellin] pulls off the tricky balancing act of avoiding either self-justification or self-castigation...Reading 'Duped' gave me occasion to second-guess even gentler deceptions; it may actually have made me a (slightly) better person."—Tim Kreider, New York Times Book Review

"Candid and entertaining, Ellin's book offers insight into the socially and psychologically complex nature of deceit as well as the choices she made as a duped woman. Lively, provocative reading."—Kirkus Reviews

"The author's hybrid of memoir and journalism works well for general readers, keeping things engaging and witty...A timely book for folks who wonder how we ended up in this post-truth world as well as readers of books like A Beautiful, Terrible Thing (2017) by Jen Waite."—Booklist

A helpful, interesting memoire

My family had experience with a narcissistic con man. I found Ellin’s tale to be personally helpful in some ways and the study of duping to be interesting and helpful, too. Maybe chapter two opens with too many tangential examples of liars, which worried me after the main memoir story ended, but I hung in there and it picked up. Later chapters were fascinating.

Therese Plummer should read all the audible catalog. Her vocal choices are evocative and listenable.

I've been duped!

Loved the book.I was duped by my son-in-law for years.it took years for us to figure him out.He got himself into a lot of trouble before the end. He ruined his family and ours. Wish I had read this book before he came into our lives.

Fascinating!

Some remarked the author talked too much about herself, but I diasagree. Hearing her motives and thought process added exponentially to the understanding of why people get duped. Recommended!

Psychological Portrait of Deception

The book presents deception through the eyes of the deceived. Step by step the story unfolds through the actions, thoughts and behaviors of the deceiver and deceived. It’s a virtual reality experience of deception rather than a psychological abstract. Psychological principles are pointed out as the story proceeds and the comments of various psychologists are insightful.

Good book. Extremely annoying narrator.

Almost unable to finish the book. The narrator is unbearable. Her voice doesn’t fit the book. Her proclivity for the offset “he said” or “she said” after a dramatic pause at the end of a sentence was torture.

Great read

Anyone whose trust has ever been violated to the core of your being; it is a most worthy and valuable read.

Gripping. I loved listening to it.

I got this book on Audible after following the author's work online. The story she tells is unbelievable because it's SO NUTS. I have to admit, I saw parts of me in this story, wanting so badly to believe in love, the 'one' and ignoring things that didn't fit the belief I was so attached to.

I love how she includes research and data along with the different stories.

I will say this - after reading this book, you will be able to recognize the signs of a DUPER. So thanks to the author for helping some of us steer clear of what can be such a horrible and painful experience.

Loved the book

This hits some triggers for me, but also gave me insight into a lot of the same feelings that the author had. Thanks for sharing your story! Satellite Sisters were right, great book!

Fun, disturbing, insightful, and instructional

I originally bought this book on kindle after hearing Abby being interviewed in 2019. I read half of then put it down due to life's distractions. I recently bought the audible version and really loved listening to it while driving around DC delivering cats. There is so much that I recognized and could identify with

Exciting and Profound Journey of being Duped!!

When I downloaded my copy of Duped by Abby Ellin, I was assuming I would read a romantic deception story about the heart ache of falling in love with a liar. An interesting enough topic for me as a relationship expert and a professional Matchmaker. I always love anything "relationship" books. But instead, I got an exciting and engaging societal and psychological story of why people deceive. Duped is a brilliant and thorough investigation into this psychological phenomenon, looking at the human mind and the motivation of deception. Abby Ellin strategically brings you though an engaging and dramatic expedition into the underbelly of a disturbing and unfortunately common pathology of deceit. I highly recommend going on this exciting and profound Journey of being "Duped".