Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
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Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
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Narrated by:
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Tyler Perry
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By:
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Tyler Perry
About this listen
If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, it's that she's got something to say. For as long as people can remember, Madea has been in the neighborhood - she's the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind.
Now Madea is telling her own story, dishing her memoirs and hard-won, hilarious wisdom in her own inimitable voice (with a little help from her friend Tyler Perry). Madea covers every topic you want to hear her on, from the art of flirting, to love and marriage (sometimes two very separate topics), and raising kids (including the full story on the bag o' belts).
She also opines on beauty tips (featuring her indispensable advice on the miraculous benefits of Vasoline), the healthy choice of a deep-fried diet, and the Bible (including her favorite Bible story, as you have definitely never heard it before) - and pretty much everything else.
Madea has lived quite a life, and she has some stories to tell. And they're all here. As she's fond of saying, "Sometimes life is hard, and you have to laugh your way through it."
©2006 Tyler Perry Inc. (P)2007 Penguin Audio, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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5 out of 5 stars
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This is the most amazing book I’ve ever read!
- By Anonymous User on 03-01-20
By: Bertice Berry
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 111
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Story4 out of 5 stars 98
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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5 out of 5 stars
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HIlarious
- By Anonymous User on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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If It Ain’t One Thing
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Karen Chilton
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 133
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 104
Cheryl Robinson, a bright voice in African-American fiction, delivers a fresh tale of love in the modern world. Porter is a handsome Detroit firefighter who just got burned by his cheating girlfriend. Winona is a single mom who is getting by despite an old secret that haunts her. When Porter and Winona meet, they must face their pasts to allow their present romance to grow.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good listen
- By Anonymous User on 06-29-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
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Ellen Foster
- By: Kaye Gibbons
- Narrated by: Ruth Ann Phimister
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 111
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 98
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Story4 out of 5 stars 98
"When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy. I would figure out this or that way and run it down through my head until it got easy." So begins the tale of Ellen Foster, the brave and engaging heroine of Kaye Gibbons's first novel, which won the Sue Kaufman Prize from the American Academy and Institute of Arts and Letters. Wise, funny, affectionate and true, Ellen Foster is, as Walker Percy called it, "The real thing. Which is to say, a lovely, sometimes heart/wrenching novel...."
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-06-18
By: Kaye Gibbons
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Tiger, Tiger
- A Memoir
- By: Margaux Fragoso
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 233
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 200
One summer day, Margaux Fragoso meets Peter Curran at the neighborhood swimming pool, and they begin to play. She is seven; he is 51. When Peter invites her and her mother to his house, the little girl finds a child’s paradise of exotic pets and an elaborate backyard garden. Her mother, beset by mental illness and overwhelmed by caring for Margaux, is grateful for the attention Peter lavishes on her, and he creates an imaginative universe for her, much as Lewis Carroll did for his real-life Alice.
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3 out of 5 stars
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a weirdly loving diatribe against pervs.
- By Anonymous User on 05-21-11
By: Margaux Fragoso
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Go Ask Alice
- By: Anonymous
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,092
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 879
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Story4 out of 5 stars 874
Life at 15 isn't easy for a girl if she's shy and hates the way she looks. Each day is heaven or hell, depending on who talks to her, or who doesn't. So when she's finally accepted by a group, she doesn't refuse their party games, even if it means taking LSD. Soon she's taking little pills to wake up and others to go to sleep, and the days begin to blur. Based on a 15-year-old's diary, Go Ask Alice is the intimate account of one girl's fatal journey into the world of drug addiction.
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1 out of 5 stars
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WE WERE ALL LIED TO. THIS IS FICTION PEOPLE!!!
- By Anonymous User on 05-09-14
By: Anonymous
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Behind Closed Doors
- By: Kimberla Lawson Roby
- Narrated by: Madison Vaughn
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 550
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
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Story4 out of 5 stars 480
Regina Moore and Karen Jackson, lifelong best friends, are living the kind of lives about which most women only fantasize. With beautiful homes, fulfilling careers, and two adoring husbands, their joy could not be greater, their worlds could not be richer. But suddenly, shattering truths about the loving men they thought they knew turn happiness into anguish and rage.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not my favorite!
- By Anonymous User on 02-14-17
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,809
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,584
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,572
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Anonymous User on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Manchild in the Promised Land
- By: Claude Brown
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 17 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 201
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 178
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Story5 out of 5 stars 177
Published during a literary era marked by the ascendance of Black writers such as Richard Wright, Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin, and Alex Haley, this thinly fictionalized account of Claude Brown’s childhood as a hardened, streetwise criminal trying to survive the toughest streets of Harlem has been heralded as the definitive account of everyday life for the first generation of African Americans raised in the Northern ghettos of the 1940s and 1950s.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Powerful and revealing
- By Anonymous User on 05-20-20
By: Claude Brown
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The Sweet By and By
- A Novel
- By: Todd Johnson
- Narrated by: Becky Ann Baker, Adriane Lenox, Robin Miles, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 90
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
Among the longleaf pines and family farms of eastern North Carolina, days seem to pass without incident for Margaret Clayton and Bernice Stokes until they discover each other in a friendship that will take them on the most important journey of their lives. Margaret, droll and whip smart, has a will of iron that never fails her even when her body does, while Bernice, an avid country-music fan, is rarely lucid.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great 2/3 of a book.
- By Anonymous User on 07-09-12
By: Todd Johnson
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 441
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 402
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 400
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love Louie even more now
- By Anonymous User on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Rabbit
- The Autobiography of Ms. Pat
- By: Patricia Williams, Jeannine Amber
- Narrated by: Patricia Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 7,338
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,596
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Story5 out of 5 stars 6,599
One of five children, Pat watched as her alcoholic mother struggled to get by on charity, cons, and petty crimes. At age seven, Pat was taught to roll drunks for money. At 12, she was targeted for sex by a man eight years her senior; by 13, she was pregnant. By 15, Pat was a mother of two. Alone at 16, Pat was determined to make a better life for her children. But with no job skills and an eighth-grade education, her options were limited. She learned quickly that hustling and humor were the only tools she had to survive.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Amazing story but dry reading
- By Anonymous User on 11-03-17
By: Patricia Williams, and others
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 88
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 80
When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Anonymous User on 06-29-18
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 539
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 488
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Story4 out of 5 stars 489
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By Anonymous User on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Liberating Paris
- A Novel
- By: Linda Bloodworth Thomason
- Narrated by: Cynthia Darlow
- Length: 12 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
Woodrow McIlmore, the town's golden boy and local gynecologist, is married to his beautiful high school sweetheart, Milan, and seems by all appearances to be leading the perfect life with his two children and extended family and friends. But when Wood's daughter announces that she is smitten with a college classmate and intends to marry him, her parents are stunned.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Deeply moving, a great listen
- By Anonymous User on 11-27-05
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