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Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
- Narrated by: Tyler Perry
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
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Publisher's summary
If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, it's that she's got something to say. For as long as people can remember, Madea has been in the neighborhood - she's the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind.
Now Madea is telling her own story, dishing her memoirs and hard-won, hilarious wisdom in her own inimitable voice (with a little help from her friend Tyler Perry). Madea covers every topic you want to hear her on, from the art of flirting, to love and marriage (sometimes two very separate topics), and raising kids (including the full story on the bag o' belts).
She also opines on beauty tips (featuring her indispensable advice on the miraculous benefits of Vasoline), the healthy choice of a deep-fried diet, and the Bible (including her favorite Bible story, as you have definitely never heard it before) - and pretty much everything else.
Madea has lived quite a life, and she has some stories to tell. And they're all here. As she's fond of saying, "Sometimes life is hard, and you have to laugh your way through it."
Critic reviews
"Inimitable." (Ebony)
"Hilarious." (The New York Times Book Review)
"Wicked." (Entertainment Weekly)
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Life at 15 isn't easy for a girl if she's shy and hates the way she looks. Each day is heaven or hell, depending on who talks to her, or who doesn't. So when she's finally accepted by a group, she doesn't refuse their party games, even if it means taking LSD. Soon she's taking little pills to wake up and others to go to sleep, and the days begin to blur. Based on a 15-year-old's diary, Go Ask Alice is the intimate account of one girl's fatal journey into the world of drug addiction.
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WE WERE ALL LIED TO. THIS IS FICTION PEOPLE!!!
- By Sharron on 05-09-14
By: Anonymous
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Behind Closed Doors
- By: Kimberla Lawson Roby
- Narrated by: Madison Vaughn
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Regina Moore and Karen Jackson, lifelong best friends, are living the kind of lives about which most women only fantasize. With beautiful homes, fulfilling careers, and two adoring husbands, their joy could not be greater, their worlds could not be richer. But suddenly, shattering truths about the loving men they thought they knew turn happiness into anguish and rage.
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Not my favorite!
- By Christiana on 02-14-17
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Manchild in the Promised Land
- By: Claude Brown
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 17 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Published during a literary era marked by the ascendance of Black writers such as Richard Wright, Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin, and Alex Haley, this thinly fictionalized account of Claude Brown’s childhood as a hardened, streetwise criminal trying to survive the toughest streets of Harlem has been heralded as the definitive account of everyday life for the first generation of African Americans raised in the Northern ghettos of the 1940s and 1950s.
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Powerful and revealing
- By Anonymous User on 05-20-20
By: Claude Brown
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The Sweet By and By
- A Novel
- By: Todd Johnson
- Narrated by: Becky Ann Baker, Adriane Lenox, Robin Miles, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Among the longleaf pines and family farms of eastern North Carolina, days seem to pass without incident for Margaret Clayton and Bernice Stokes until they discover each other in a friendship that will take them on the most important journey of their lives. Margaret, droll and whip smart, has a will of iron that never fails her even when her body does, while Bernice, an avid country-music fan, is rarely lucid.
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Great 2/3 of a book.
- By Tracy on 07-09-12
By: Todd Johnson
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Rabbit
- The Autobiography of Ms. Pat
- By: Patricia Williams, Jeannine Amber
- Narrated by: Patricia Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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One of five children, Pat watched as her alcoholic mother struggled to get by on charity, cons, and petty crimes. At age seven, Pat was taught to roll drunks for money. At 12, she was targeted for sex by a man eight years her senior; by 13, she was pregnant. By 15, Pat was a mother of two. Alone at 16, Pat was determined to make a better life for her children. But with no job skills and an eighth-grade education, her options were limited. She learned quickly that hustling and humor were the only tools she had to survive.
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Amazing story but dry reading
- By SpazzyMaggee on 11-03-17
By: Patricia Williams, and others
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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After film critic Gene Siskel asked her, "What do you know for sure?" Oprah Winfrey began writing the "What I Know for Sure" column in O, The Oprah Magazine. Saying that the question offered her a way to take "stock of her life", Oprah has penned one column a month over the last 14 years.
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This one takes the cake
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Stride Toward Freedom: The Montgomery Story
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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s account of the first successful large-scale application of nonviolent resistance in America is comprehensive, revelatory, and intimate. King described his book as "the chronicle of 50,000 Negroes who took to heart the principles of nonviolence, who learned to fight for their rights with the weapon of love, and who, in the process, acquired a new estimate of their own human worth."
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A look into the mind of Dr King
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Life After Death
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Winter Santiaga hit time served. Still stunning, still pretty, still bold, still loves her father more than any man in the world, still got her hustle and high fashion flow. She’s eager to pay back her enemies, rebuild her father’s empire, reset his crown, and ultimately to snatch Midnight back into her life no matter which bitch had him while she was locked up. But Winter is not the only one with revenge on her mind.
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What was that?
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What listeners say about Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Justine Ward
- 03-12-20
Great first time listen
Tyler Perry did a great job narrating, it was nice hearing his Madea Voice!! VERY real and raw!!
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- Kimberlee N. Taylor
- 02-07-20
Typical TP keeping u laughing for hours. Loved it!
Tyler Perry always has me laughing. This book did not disappoint. It took me back to the days I had a Madea and got hit with a skillet😂
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Overall
- Diana
- 05-25-08
What a Hoot!
What an absolutely great character!! She is a total hoot, and such a fabulous inspiration for the middle aged woman. You forget that she is really Tyler Perry. This is a great book and I cannot imagine reading this book over listening to it.
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- Lene
- 04-19-19
A Big Fan
This was an awesome book to listen to...funny and enjoyable. I would recommend this book/ audio
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- missy
- 07-27-18
Hilarious
Great audio, had me laughing from start to finish. I will relisten to it anytime I want a good laugh.
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Overall
- Carmen Pinto
- 03-25-19
Funny stories with lessons.
Tyler Perry shares some funny stories through the lens of Madea with lessons. It will make you laugh and reflect. A great listen while on the way to work.
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Overall
- Nevada
- 09-16-10
~Straight Tom Foolery~ Get This Book!
This book is awesome! The best part is that it is narrated by Ma'dea. This is classic Tyler Perry. The story line...what story line? You will laugh for sure and learn a thing or two. You will also get alot of stuff you will have absolutely no use for, FUN Stuff.
Click the add to cart button. If you do this while at work it will brighten your day in the midst of your work load.
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- RC
- 07-05-21
The Best of Madea in depth life analysis!
Funny and entertaining! Love Madea views on life! Can’t wait for another of her brilliants stories!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-28-21
I love Madea! This made me laugh and think.
This was great. I was able to take a look at my own life and the people in it. Most everyone struggles with the thought of death, Now when i think of death it doesnt seem so bad when you realize the best part of death is the life you lived before it. This book gives insight to the black race for those who may not know, but its much more than that....we all no matter our race have so much in common no matter how diferent our up bringing!
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- Shelia Nixon Reeves
- 05-12-20
I laughed till my stomach hurt!
Madea is one of my all time favorite characters. I can’t imagine being blessed as a young person with her as a role model. I was so sad and devastated when I heard there won’t be any more Madea movies made. I hardly ever like watching movies more than once but I could watch Madea movies multiple times and laugh just as hard each time. If we can’t have more Madea movies please let us at least enjoy her with more books!
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