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Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (177 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

There's no question about it: your children are the most important thing in your life. But if you have gone through a messy divorce, your relationship with your children may become strained if you have to deal with a toxic ex. Your ex may bad-mouth you in front of the kids, accuse you of being a bad parent, and even attempt to replace you in the children's lives with a new partner. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed - and you may feel powerless.

In Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of co-parenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome", and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters an open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse.

©2014 Amy J. L. Baker and Paul R. Fine (P)2016 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Genuinely helpful, this guide tackles a sensitive problem and shows how to diffuse it with accepted and proven psychotherapeutic practices." ( Publishers Weekly)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Not Helpful For Me

This may be a good book for people who have started raising kids together. My ex and I split before our son was born and have differences based on his controlling and verbally abusive behavior. This book seems to focus on the basic struggles of any kind of conflict between exes. It is really more for coping with any kind of contentious divorce. Not for clinical level toxicity or genuine abuse.

26 of 26 people found this review helpful

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  • FireStar
  • Raleigh, NC United States
  • 10-27-16

Good overall advice - some info outdated

I like the overall message that you should be present for your child and focus on them.
There are some good overall tools in skills for dealing with situations covered in this book.
It does however come from an assumption that this is something to be lived with rather than changed.
The author seems to rely on the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) model which is surrounded in controversy. I would encourage anyone Learning about this to check out attachment based parental alienation (AB –PA) and get involved with changing this dynamic. When we focus on this as one parent and one child — it may seem insurmountable. But the truth is, there are many people dealing with this. When we band together we become a force much stronger than any individual ever could be.

21 of 24 people found this review helpful

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Wow!

This book was spot on with my life the last 6 years since my divorce, I had NO idea I was responding the wrong way until I ended up in court on an emergency custody hearing order for things that never ever happened, now I realize the brainwashing was years in making. I'm definitely kicking myself for not getting this book years ago when I knew my ex was telling my kids horrible untrue things about me :-(

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Really?

Childish and simplistic conceptually. I would recommend any relationship book instead of this one. Offers terrible advice. Deeply flawed premices. Was not alt all helpful for my situation.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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not overly helpful

it doesnt give enough insight on how to avoid conflicts or how to predict what might come up in various situations.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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read if you have divorced a narcissist

unbelievably grateful to have the warning signs and tools. thank you thank you. will read over and over

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Both parents are toxic

The title of the book is a bit misleading. The authors assume that both parents are toxic. This book is light on ideas to deal with the toxic parent and heavy on the Eastern mindful/dialectical parenting approach, e.g., strong undertow of moral relativism and absence of absolute truth. The authors suggest a Buddhist prayer.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Not good

This book is inclined towards one parent only! Even the book cover shows a mom and a child and a “heartbroken” father. Seriously? So much misleading information.

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So Informative

This book tells you so much about how kids are brainwashed by one parent or the other and how hard it is to get them back to normal. It also tells you how the court systems know nothing about alienation.

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teen loyalty struggles with a narcissistic father

this book completely validated my worst fears. it gave me some good strategies and insight in dealing with my young teenager going through the most severe loyalty struggle s.

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Profile Image for mark bygrave
  • mark bygrave
  • 11-27-19

very informative

For those that are at different stages of alienation, on how to manage your childs behaviours due to a toxic ex. To help manage your own emotions and understanding what your child or children are going through helps you understand what more you can do to form a better bond with your siblings. 10/10