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Publisher's Summary

Click, click, click, click.

Phillipsport, Maine, is a quaint and peaceful seaside village. But when hundreds of creatures pour out of the ocean and attack, its residents must take up arms to drive the beasts back. They are the Clickers, giant, venomous, bloodthirsty crabs from the depths of the sea. The only warning to their rampage of dismemberment and death is the terrible clicking of their claws. But these monsters aren't merely here to ravage and pillage. They are being driven onto land by fear. 

Something is hunting the Clickers. Something ancient and without mercy. Deadite Press is proud to present the authors' preferred version of J. F. Gonzalez and Mark Williams' gore-soaked, cult-classic tribute to the giant monster B-movies of yesteryear. 

"Miss those glory days of cheap'n'nasty bone-crunching horror? They're back. Clickers will eat you up and spit you out!" (Peter Atkins, screenwriter for Hellraiser II and III and Wishmaster)

©2011 Cathy Gonzalez (P)2021 David N. Wilson

What listeners say about Clickers

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

H.P. Lovecraft's Deep Ones meets "The Birds"

“CLICKERS” feels like Hitchcock’s “The Birds” as nature goes to war with mankind in a small sea side town. Soon, however, it turns into a better then average Lovecraftian mythos tale.

WHATS da’ STORY Morning GORY?
And GORY is da’ word in this weird tale where the favorite modes of death are:
A.) Intestines pulled out and “chowed down on”.
B.) Head bitten off (“crunch!”)
C.) Tug of war in which two monsters pull a person (or child) apart.
YEP, Giant deadly red crab monsters from the cosmic depths arrive with a massive terrible ocean storm.
These vicious-fishes mix the worst parts of a man eating crab with an acid spitting scorpion.
They crawl up the beach in the thousands and nearly wipe out a small, quaint, sea-side vacation town.
...and after they attack, then the really bad things arrive.


RATING:
I liked it!
It was better written than I’d hoped.

“Clickers” is a fast-paced-action Mythos tale from the H. P. Lovecraft deeply creepy world of Dagon.

However:
• Sure, some characters go insane when faced with Lovecraftian horror. Normal for a mythos tale.
• Yet, other characters do the exact STUPID things you'd NEVER ever do if you were in a horror novel.

Of course, very few characters in those horror novels, & “Where Monster’s Dwell” comic books, & such scary literature scenarios actually know that they are in a horror story / comic book and / or monster movie. So, okay... actually, who knows WHAT people would really do in that kind of an event?

Me? I'd probably wet my pants & stand there scared-frozen 'till the crab-monsters ate me. Yeah.

Finally:
Okay. The author suffers from “white man syndrome”.
Though a good writer, I think he has an unenlightened psyche that has backward views of minorities & women.
I.E. the author writes some mildly degrading slights.

Case in point:
1.) The red-neck bad-guys repeatedly mouth all kinds of vile slurs. I could do with-out (some) of that, thanks.

2.) Some really bad things happen to seemingly guiltless innocent minority characters for no-good reason... except maybe to foster a surprisingly gory sense of fear that no one (except the white male hero) is safe from the monsters.

3.) The women stayed in the back and... ‘clucked’ like “mother hen's", & weep, & fall into the men’s arms. With statements like... “Rick wished he had time to assure the women everything will be okay.”
Com-on, I bet there'd be plenty scared men-folk ( like me ) who'd need assurance too.

3.) Repeats a few times how an inter-racial lesbian couple makes love each night “for hours”. Sure, a common adolescent male fantasy scenario, but, it did nothing to move the plot along.

Okay, okay. I know it's just a 'monster-book', but... it's da' 2020's and all.
Sure, it could be that the authors are aware the 100 year old stories of H P Lovecraft have fairly unenlightened ideas about the social & cultural differences we commonly acknowledge as normal & excepted now-a-days, and thus, the boys consciously mimicked Lovecraft’s backwards 1920's social views on such racial, feminist, & LGBTQ cultural values to create an old-timey “Lovecraftian” feel in this "Lovecraftian Mythos" horror story.
Maybe.
If so, that would be clever, not very socially sensitive, but cleaver indeed.

RESOLVED:
Despite such social/cultural musings, I LIKED "CLICKERS".
I liked it for it’s sheer rushing-head-long screaming-ghost-train-ride into a blatantly blood-thirsty monster-infested darkness.

Just… ah… in the future, consider some of your fans could be women, and/or black, and/or gay, and try to not poop-on-us quite so obviously... (or at least with-out a good story-plot-point reason to) in da' future.

Peace guys! Keep writing da' scary stuff!

2 people found this helpful

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Really different and entertaining!

This book had surprise after surprise. The narrator was great! Held you on the edge of your seat all the time. Nonstop excitement. There’s a sequel, but apparently not on Audible yet. Waiting for it!!

1 person found this helpful

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Fantastic Story

I have been waiting forever for this book to come out on audible. Was not disapointed

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pretty good

well it was a little slow and all over the place at times but I generally love the story. and lord it's very graphic it showed no mercy to nobody in this story women childrened lol but I enjoyed it can't wait to read the next two

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Great monster story!

If you’re like I was and you’re on the hunt for a story about bloodthirsty crab monsters and Lovecrafty deep ones attacking a small town, and the struggle of survivors to escape their clutches, cousin have I got the book for you! This was super fun. Really looking forward to the sequels.

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Brutally entertaining!

Bring a strong stomach, because this tale is not for the weak of fortitude. Gross, violent, and absolutely one hell of a ride, Clickers takes the creature from the black lagoon and mutates it into a terrifying fight for survival. And Chet Williamson's narration is strong and thumps with absolute gusto!

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Worst book I've ever "read" on Audible

SPOILER ALERT!!!

This book "reads" like two teenagers writing out all their favorite swear words, fantasies, stereotypes and wet dreams. Honestly! For example, what point is it to include a pair of black lesbians who take the time to have sex all afternoon while their two teenage kids do...What? Doesn't say. No matter. They all get slaughtered soon after.

Or how about jumping into the back of a pickup to escape, everyone sitting in the truck bed until -- and even AFTER -- one of the monsters lops someone's head off. Yes, you read right: They sit upright in the back of a pickup with tall, smart, fast, pinscher-equipped monsters everywhere. And after the guy loses his head? THEY STILL SIT THERE! Things get bad again and finally, the only guy with a gun (the hero, in fact) decides he might need to use it and so TAKES IT OUT OF HIS POCKET! Yes, the authors actually thought they needed to TELL us that: They're being chased by monsters and the hero has a gun IN HIS POCKET!

Need I say more?

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Has the author ever been to Maine?

Some neat turns but lacking in story. lots of useless fluff. Don't buy this. Use a free credit if you can.

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Why Do Boobs Matter So Much?

So as a sci-fi monster maybe this one's pretty good compared to similar books, and I liked it well enough to give the sequel a go. However I do have a couple complaints.
First and foremost that the author seems incapable of introducing any female character, important to the starry or not, without immediately describing her breasts in excessive detail and stating whether or not they're nice to look at.
Seconds is that although the monsters were pretty cool, if somewhat borrowed, the main antagonist, the sheriff, was really just kind of a run-of-the-mill hateful fascist and there wasn't really any imagination put into why he was motivated to behave the way he did.
My third criticism is that it's a little cringe that the main character of this story is an author who writes low-grade horror stories, and who all the attractive female characters are immediately taken with. It's kind of an obvious self insert.

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fantastic horror

I loved the detail to everything, really appreciate the old style books, the writing can be very violent at times, but as a horror buff, I enjoyed every minute of it.

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  • Animefan
  • 01-30-22

Enjoyable

Pretty good horror B-movie creature feature. It is full familiar tropes shared with hundreds of other books like it, but it's enjoyable.