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Candy Cain Kills
- Killer VHS Series, Book 2
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
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Candy Cain Kills
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Publisher's summary
Oh, what fun it is to die!
When Austin’s parents drag him and his little sister Fiona to a remote cottage for Christmas, he’s less than thrilled about the forced bonding exercise. But after learning that their holiday getaway was the site of a horrific crime, this family on the rocks will have to fight for their lives against a legendary killer...because Candy Cain is slashing through the snow with a very long naughty list.
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,614
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Hot White Heist 2
- By: Adam Goldman
- Narrated by: Bowen Yang, Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 251
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 245
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 245
Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,094
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 970
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Story4 out of 5 stars 966
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 12
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Story5 out of 5 stars 12
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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5 out of 5 stars
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Please do more
- By Mr P Ellerington on 04-23-24
By: Dawn French, and others
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Episode Thirteen
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Gregory D. Barnett, Sam Slade, Kimberly Bonny, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 180
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Story4 out of 5 stars 180
Episode Thirteen takes them to every ghost hunter's holy grail: the Paranormal Research Foundation. This brooding, derelict mansion holds secrets and clues about bizarre experiments that took place there in the 1970s. It's also famously haunted, and the team hopes their scientific techniques and high tech gear will prove it. But as the house begins to reveal itself to them, proof of an afterlife might not be everything Matt dreamed of.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Its an audio comic, not a book.
- By Isa on 04-24-23
By: Craig DiLouie
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You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight
- By: Kalynn Bayron
- Narrated by: Hewot Tedla
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 76
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 64
Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business. But the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need figure out what this killer is after.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Definitely worth the read. Not too much boring set up to the craziness
- By Miranda on 03-18-24
By: Kalynn Bayron
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Curse of the Reaper
- By: Brian McAuley
- Narrated by: Eric Altheide
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 7
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 5
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 5
Decades after playing the titular killer in the eighties horror franchise Night of the Reaper, Howard Browning has been reduced to signing autographs for his dwindling fanbase at genre conventions. When the studio announces a series reboot, the aging thespian is crushed to learn he's being replaced in the iconic role by heartthrob Trevor Mane, a former sitcom child-star who's fresh out of rehab. But as Howard fights to reclaim his legacy, the sinister alter ego consumes his unraveling mind, pushing him to the brink of violence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good campy fun
- By Shelby Sticklen on 06-12-23
By: Brian McAuley
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Suffer the Children
- By: Craig Dilouie
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 658
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 582
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 581
Suffer the Children presents a terrifying tale of apocalyptic fiction, as listeners are introduced to Herod's Syndrome, a devastating illness that suddenly and swiftly kills all young children across the globe. Soon, they return from the grave, and ask for blood. And with blood, they stop being dead. They continue to remain the children they once were, but only for a short time, as they need more blood to live. The average human body holds 10 pints of blood, so the inevitable question for parents everywhere becomes: How far would you go to bring your child back?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant, Well Done!!!!!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-08-16
By: Craig Dilouie
-
Certain Dark Things
- A Novel
- By: Silvia Moreno-Garcia
- Narrated by: Aida Reluzco
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 409
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 364
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 365
Welcome to Mexico City, an oasis in a sea of vampires. Domingo, a lonely garbage-collecting street kid, is just trying to survive its heavily policed streets when a jaded vampire on the run swoops into his life. Atl, the descendant of Aztec blood drinkers, is smart, beautiful, and dangerous. Domingo is mesmerized.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty good
- By Zachary on 09-27-21
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You've Lost a Lot of Blood
- By: Eric LaRocca
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 17
-
Story3 out of 5 stars 17
Each precious thing I show you in this book is a holy relic from the night we both perished—the night when I combed you from my hair and watered the moon with your blood.
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2 out of 5 stars
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couldn't tell you what this story is about
- By Candice Clemons on 04-06-24
By: Eric LaRocca
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Episode Thirteen
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Gregory D. Barnett, Sam Slade, Kimberly Bonny, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 195
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 180
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 180
Episode Thirteen takes them to every ghost hunter's holy grail: the Paranormal Research Foundation. This brooding, derelict mansion holds secrets and clues about bizarre experiments that took place there in the 1970s. It's also famously haunted, and the team hopes their scientific techniques and high tech gear will prove it. But as the house begins to reveal itself to them, proof of an afterlife might not be everything Matt dreamed of.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Its an audio comic, not a book.
- By Isa on 04-24-23
By: Craig DiLouie
-
You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight
- By: Kalynn Bayron
- Narrated by: Hewot Tedla
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 76
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 64
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 64
Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business. But the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need figure out what this killer is after.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Definitely worth the read. Not too much boring set up to the craziness
- By Miranda on 03-18-24
By: Kalynn Bayron
-
Curse of the Reaper
- By: Brian McAuley
- Narrated by: Eric Altheide
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 7
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 5
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 5
Decades after playing the titular killer in the eighties horror franchise Night of the Reaper, Howard Browning has been reduced to signing autographs for his dwindling fanbase at genre conventions. When the studio announces a series reboot, the aging thespian is crushed to learn he's being replaced in the iconic role by heartthrob Trevor Mane, a former sitcom child-star who's fresh out of rehab. But as Howard fights to reclaim his legacy, the sinister alter ego consumes his unraveling mind, pushing him to the brink of violence.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Good campy fun
- By Shelby Sticklen on 06-12-23
By: Brian McAuley
-
Suffer the Children
- By: Craig Dilouie
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 658
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 582
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 581
Suffer the Children presents a terrifying tale of apocalyptic fiction, as listeners are introduced to Herod's Syndrome, a devastating illness that suddenly and swiftly kills all young children across the globe. Soon, they return from the grave, and ask for blood. And with blood, they stop being dead. They continue to remain the children they once were, but only for a short time, as they need more blood to live. The average human body holds 10 pints of blood, so the inevitable question for parents everywhere becomes: How far would you go to bring your child back?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Brilliant, Well Done!!!!!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-08-16
By: Craig Dilouie
-
Certain Dark Things
- A Novel
- By: Silvia Moreno-Garcia
- Narrated by: Aida Reluzco
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 409
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 364
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 365
Welcome to Mexico City, an oasis in a sea of vampires. Domingo, a lonely garbage-collecting street kid, is just trying to survive its heavily policed streets when a jaded vampire on the run swoops into his life. Atl, the descendant of Aztec blood drinkers, is smart, beautiful, and dangerous. Domingo is mesmerized.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Pretty good
- By Zachary on 09-27-21
-
You've Lost a Lot of Blood
- By: Eric LaRocca
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 24
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 17
-
Story3 out of 5 stars 17
Each precious thing I show you in this book is a holy relic from the night we both perished—the night when I combed you from my hair and watered the moon with your blood.
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2 out of 5 stars
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couldn't tell you what this story is about
- By Candice Clemons on 04-06-24
By: Eric LaRocca
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Joyland
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Michael Kelly
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,248
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,326
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,313
Set in a small-town North Carolina amusement park in 1973, Joyland tells the story of the summer in which college student Devin Jones comes to work as a carny and confronts the legacy of a vicious murder, the fate of a dying child, and the ways both will change his life forever. Joyland is a brand-new novel and has never previously been published.
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5 out of 5 stars
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King in his Summer Finest
- By Cynthia on 06-06-13
By: Stephen King
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Black Sheep
- By: Rachel Harrison
- Narrated by: Jeremy Carlisle Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 243
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 224
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Story4 out of 5 stars 224
Nobody has a “normal” family, but Vesper Wright’s is truly...something else. Vesper left home at eighteen and never looked back—mostly because she was told that leaving the staunchly religious community she grew up in meant she couldn’t return. But then an envelope arrives on her doorstep.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Satanism
- By Martowski on 11-05-23
By: Rachel Harrison
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This Wretched Valley
- By: Jenny Kiefer
- Narrated by: Megan Tusing
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 60
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 60
This trip is going to be Dylan’s big break. Her geologist friend Clay has discovered an untouched cliff face in the Kentucky wilderness, and she is going to be the first person to climb it. Together with Clay, his research assistant Sylvia, and Dylan’s boyfriend Luke, Dylan is going to document her achievement on Instagram and finally cement her place as the next rising star in rock climbing. Seven months later, three bodies are discovered in the trees just off the highway. All are in various states of decay.
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1 out of 5 stars
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An Unorganized Mess - Not Worth It
- By Allan on 01-25-24
By: Jenny Kiefer
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The Handyman Method
- By: Nick Cutter, Andrew Sullivan
- Narrated by: Corey Brill
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 149
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 134
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Story4 out of 5 stars 134
When a young family moves into an unfinished development community, cracks begin to emerge in both their new residence and their lives, as a mysterious online DIY instructor delivers dark subliminal suggestions about how to handle any problem around the house. The trials of home improvement, destructive insecurities, and haunted house horror all collide in this thrilling story perfect for fans of Nick Cutter’s bestsellers The Troop and The Deep.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great but Short
- By Leah C. on 08-11-23
By: Nick Cutter, and others
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The September House
- By: Carissa Orlando
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr
- Length: 13 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 949
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 899
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 899
When Margaret and her husband Hal bought the large Victorian house on Hawthorn Street—for sale at a surprisingly reasonable price—they couldn’t believe they finally had a home of their own. Then they discovered the hauntings. Every September, the walls drip blood. The ghosts of former inhabitants appear, and all of them are terrified of something that lurks in the basement. Most people would flee. Margaret is not most people. Margaret is staying.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I really wanted to love this
- By Jose on 09-29-23
By: Carissa Orlando
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Nestlings
- By: Nat Cassidy
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Nat Cassidy
- Length: 13 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 226
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 213
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Story4 out of 5 stars 213
Ana and Reid needed a lucky break. The horrifically complicated birth of their first child has left Ana paralyzed, bitter, and struggling: with mobility, with her relationship with Reid, with resentment for her baby. That's about to change with the words any New Yorker would love to hear—affordable housing lottery. They've won an apartment in the Deptford, one of Manhattan's most revered buildings. Reid dismisses disturbing events and Ana’s deep unease and paranoia as the price of living in New York—people are odd—but he can't explain the needle-like bite marks on the baby.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another great book from Nat Cassidy!
- By Cecilia Copeland on 01-02-24
By: Nat Cassidy
What listeners say about Candy Cain Kills
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 12-11-23
A brutal, thoughtful holiday slasher.
McAuley has an acrobatic ability for writing kills Tom Savini would have blessed. Brilliantly paced and casted with characters you hope will survive—despite the looming body count.
More novellas. More slashers. More holiday horror.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- CJDsCurrentRead
- 12-14-23
Christmas jingles and death
I wanted to read this for the Christmas season, and lo and behold, I won an audible code giveaway from the author and Shortwave Publishing. The narration from Elisabeth Rodgers was very well done!
This is book two in the Killer VHS Series, but I believe they are standalone stories. It’s styled just like you’d think. It has everything you’d look for in a slasher film. Drama. Comedy. Surprises. Kills. I’d say Black Christmas sticks out as similar, but that’s likened to the Christmas atmosphere probably.
A Christmas from the past has shocking repercussions on one in the future. The same house, two different families, one hell of a Christmas stay. I enjoyed that the story linked back to the Christian side of Christmas, as that is somewhat absent at times, and it has the ability to be turned so super creepy when done right. This does it pretty flawlessly.
Another thing McAuley has achieved is taking something kind of silly, and making it creepy. Not to mention gruesome. The tagline, “Oh, what fun it is to die” is a perfect cheesy rip off the Christmas song, and drew me as a reader 100%, but it could very easily have fallen in the way that its B, C, and even D horror predecessors have gone. Don’t get me wrong, it most certainly is what it claims to be, I’m just saying the author has done so quite well.
Personally a 5/5*, I did not call the twist, therefore I was twisted.
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