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Calm the H*ck Down
- How to Let Go and Lighten Up About Parenting
- Narrated by: Melanie Dale
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
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Publisher's Summary
From author and speaker Melanie Dale comes a laugh-out-loud hilarious parenting book that teaches you how to dial back the stress of raising children with the simple premise that we all just need to lighten up a little bit.
Most of us thought we’d be amazing parents - and then we had kids. Now we spend what little free time we have comparing ourselves to other parents, comparing our kids to other kids, and panicking that everyone else is nailing it except us. Between constant social media postings to conflicting advice found in parenting books, we often have no choice but to freak out. But there is another way. We all just need to calm the h*ck down.
Melanie Dale - a special needs parent, adoptive parent, in vitro parent, and reluctant cheer mom - believes we are all putting too much pressure on ourselves and our kids to be perfect. Instead, she argues, we need to take a step back so we can actually enjoy this journey called parenting.
Calm the H*ck Down is filled with stories from Melanie’s own life, as well as real-life research for learning how to lighten up about every aspect of parenting - from poopy diapers and germs to family vacations and adolescent angst. She also discusses the pressure to knock it all out of the Pinterest park, the challenge of instilling some kind of faith into your kids, and worrying about their future while still trying to live in the present.
Infused with quirky humor, profound insight, and accessible advice, Calm the H*ck Down gives you the permission to finally relax and enjoy this ridiculous thing we do called parenting.
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What listeners say about Calm the H*ck Down
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 11-12-21
Hilarious parenting book
I really loved it. I didn't know what I was expecting, but this was entertaining. It made me laugh (especially when listening at twice the speed).
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Chris Gorman
- 12-28-20
Read this book if you have kids under 12!!
Hilariously sincere. Thank you for your stories and perspective Melanie! This book is a must read for all parents who have kids between the ages of 3-12. That is a wide gap and Melanie covers most of it!
Thank you for the lists of suggestions. Easy to digest and as a Hamilton fan, each list gave me the opportunity to repeat NUMBER 1...and so forth like Leslie Odom Jr.
Loved this book!
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Story5 out of 5 stars 415
From the founder of That’s Inappropriate - one of the most popular parenting blogs on the web - comes a hilarious, genuine, and relatable essay collection on the ups and downs of motherhood. Now, Meredith shares her collection of witty essays on the universal frustrations of being a mom in today’s world, presenting her laugh-out-loud perspective on sex, aging, anxiety, friendship, and much more.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Having Trouble Getting Over the F*** Word
- By Maria Wilson on 09-11-20
By: Meredith Masony
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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Let Them Be Kids
- Adventure, Boredom, Innocence, and Other Gifts Children Need
- By: Jessica Smartt
- Narrated by: Amanda Sanfilippo
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 154
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 131
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Story5 out of 5 stars 132
Former English teacher and homeschooling mother of three, Jessica Smartt felt the weight of helping prepare her kids for life, especially with all the outside pressures and influence of the world. She struggled with how she could raise her children with a sense of adventure, self-confidence, manners, faith, and the ability to utilize technology wisely. Let Them Be Kids is Jessica's offering of grace and confidence to moms, giving them practical ideas to meet these challenges.
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5 out of 5 stars
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great book and the reading of it
- By Matt Dean on 04-07-21
By: Jessica Smartt
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Cat and Nat's Mom Truths
- Embarrassing Stories and Brutally Honest Advice on the Extremely Real Struggle of Motherhood
- By: Catherine Belknap, Natalie Telfer
- Narrated by: Catherine Belknap, Natalie Telfer
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 779
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 680
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 680
Hilarious best friends Cat and Nat created a massive online community of moms by sharing their ultra-real and just a bit R-rated dispatches from the mom trenches. From what not to eat a few days after giving birth (chicken wings) to the most effective ways to dodge post-partum sex, Cat & Nat’s Mom Truths shares everything no one will tell you about having kids.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Thought it would be funnier
- By Honest Jane on 04-13-19
By: Catherine Belknap, and others
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Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons
- Half-@ssing It All Year Long
- By: Alicia Ybarbo, Mary Ann Zoellner, Erin Clune
- Narrated by: Erin Clune
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 97
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4 out of 5 stars 86
The authors of Sh*tty Mom are back with an hilarious guide presenting common parenting scenarios with advice for getting through the year the sh*tty mom way. Told in the same tongue-in-cheek voice as the original, this sequel is full of funny parenting tips and relatable stories for contemporary moms. Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons explores the occasions throughout the year that test every mother's patience and inspire self-deprecating humor and that second glass of wine.
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1 out of 5 stars
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horrible. boring. do not waste your time
- By Michelle on 01-23-21
By: Alicia Ybarbo, and others
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,747
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,533
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,521
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Weird Parenting Wins
- Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches
- By: Hillary Frank
- Narrated by: Hillary Frank, full cast
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Every parent and kid is unique, and as we get to know our kids, we can figure out what makes them tick. Because this is an ongoing process, Weird Parenting Wins covers children of all ages, ranging in topics from "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person" (on hygiene, potty training, and manners) to "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Tell You Things" (because eventually, they're going to be tight-lipped). You may find that someone else's weird parenting win works for you, or you might be inspired to try something new the next time you're stuck in a parenting rut.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Creative ideas
- By Martha on 08-11-22
By: Hillary Frank
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Rage Against the Minivan
- Learning to Parent Without Perfection
- By: Kristen Howerton
- Narrated by: Kristen Howerton
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 154
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 136
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 136
In this smart and subversively funny memoir, Kristen Howerton navigates the emotional and sometimes messy waters of motherhood and challenges the idea that there’s a “right” way to raise kids. Recounting her successes, trials, mishaps, and hard-won wisdom, this mother of four advocates for letting go of the expectations, the guilt, and the endless race to be the perfect parent to the perfect child in the perfect family.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Absolute Must-Listen!
- By kcotton4166 on 02-24-21
By: Kristen Howerton
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What a Difference a Mom Makes
- The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son's Life
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 142
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 117
Boys will be boys - always. And no one has a more powerful impact on them than you, Mom. Surprise! Your boy wants to please you, and he cares deeply about what you think. Those driving needs will stay with him throughout his lifetime. That gives you, Mom, a lot of influence over your son. You can set him up for success in life. In What a Difference a Mom Makes, the New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman reveals how you can make a positive imprint on your son - from the moment you first hold him in your arms until the moment he leaves for college. And the best news? It's never too late to start.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Overall some solid advice - would recommend to new moms of boys
- By Tania on 04-12-20
By: Kevin Leman
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On the Bright Side
- Stories About Friendship, Love, and Being True to Yourself
- By: Melanie Shankle, Jen Hatmaker - foreword
- Narrated by: Melanie Shankle
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 242
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 208
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Story5 out of 5 stars 204
In On the Bright Side, Melanie Shankle reminds us of the unchanging principles we can count on in a changing world. These are lessons that Melanie has learned along the way about how to find all the joy that life has to offer - and why encouragement is never something to keep to ourselves. Exploring topics such as dealing with comparisons, when life doesn't turn out like we expected, and how to find your people, Melanie invites us to lead with love in all areas of our lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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all about life and being able to laugh
- By Deeya A. Maple on 04-24-21
By: Melanie Shankle, and others
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How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen
- Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood
- By: Joanna Faber, Julie King
- Narrated by: Joanna Faber, Julie King, Mia Barron, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story5 out of 5 stars 53
Faber and King have tailored How to Talk’s tried-and-trusted communication strategies to some of the most challenging childhood moments. From tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics, How to Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers concrete strategies for these and many more difficult situations.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hopeful and grateful Dad-to-be
- By It Ain't Necessarily So on 08-21-21
By: Joanna Faber, and others
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Hold On, But Don't Hold Still
- Hope and Humor from My Seriously Flawed Life
- By: Kristina Kuzmic
- Narrated by: Kristina Kuzmic
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,786
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,567
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,561
Kristina Kuzmic has made herself a household name, speaking directly to mothers from the trenches of parenthood via her viral videos and social media presence. She is now bringing her message of self-acceptance, resilience, and joy to audiobook listeners. With a refreshingly unpretentious, funny, and galvanizing voice, Kuzmic goes behind the scenes to reveal how she went from broke and defeated to unshakably grounded and brimming with thankfulness.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Girl, This is It
- By K.C. on 05-04-20
By: Kristina Kuzmic
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A Perfect 10
- The Truth About Things I'm Not and Never Will Be
- By: Heather Land
- Narrated by: Heather Land
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 74
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story5 out of 5 stars 59
The author of I Ain’t Doin’ It and popular comedian Heather Land returns with a collection of laugh-out-loud, hilarious, and unfiltered essays that explore the funny and inspirational moments in everyday life - perfect for fans of Rachel Hollis’s Girl, Wash Your Face.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow...A changer of how you think
- By Tammy Gill on 10-17-20
By: Heather Land
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Have a New Kid by Friday
- How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days
- By: Dr. Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: William Sarris
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 60
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 47
Have a New Kid by Friday shows parents how to reverse negative behavior in their children - fast! With his signature wit and encouragement, Dr. Leman offers hope and real, practical, doable strategies for regaining control and becoming the parents they always wanted to be.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book for parents
- By Eshraq on 07-16-21
By: Dr. Kevin Leman
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The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers
- Sh!t No One Tells You Series #2
- By: Dawn Dais
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: "Why didn't anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?"
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not research-based
- By Parenting Reader on 09-25-16
By: Dawn Dais
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 796
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 795
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky