Episodios

  • Matrescence with Dr. Angele Close

    Matrescence with Dr. Angele Close
    Apr 2 2026
    Dr. Angele Close is back to talk with me more about matrescence - the transformation and experience of becoming a mother. Motherhood comes with so many changes, identity shifts, frustrations, overwhelm, delight (I could go on all day). You’ll Learn:What matrescence isHow the transformation of motherhood looks different at different stages of lifeCommon experiences and struggles of matrescencePractical strategies for processing the changes you’re going throughWhy it’s so hard for moms to give validation to themselves.It’s a big deal to become a parent! We are forever changed by the experience. Today, we’re diving deeper into what it means to go through this process, how it changes us, how it's like adolescence, and the beautiful gifts that come with becoming a mom. ------------------------------------As you may remember from our previous conversations, Dr. Angele Close is a clinical psychologist, motherhood coach, and mindfulness teacher who draws on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of healing and transformation to support maternal mental health and well-being. She helps mothers navigate the identity shifts of matrescence, releasing perfectionism and shame so they can embrace motherhood with greater self-compassion, confidence, and joy. Dr. Angele is also a mother of 3 teens and the author of Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-led Mom.Transformational StagesWe all go through certain periods of transformation in our lives. Two of the biggest are adolescence and matrescence, and Dr. Angele shared some comparisons between them. She says that each of these is a transformational journey that every woman who becomes a mother will experience. Just as your body, identity, and friendships change during adolescence, your mindset, identity, career, and relationships also change over the course of motherhood. And while we all go through this transformation, every person’s experience is unique. Matrescence begins in the moment that you start thinking, “I think I want to be a mother” (or, “Oh shit, I’m going to be a mother!”). And it lasts as long as you are a mother.Because this covers such a wide range of time and experiences, it can also help to pinpoint where you are within matrescence:Emerging motherhood Early motherhoodLate motherhoodPost-motherhood (this is where I am right now)Depending on your stage of matrescence, there are some common patterns and experiences that Dr. Angele has seen come up for moms. Fantasy v. RealityThis is a big one in early motherhood. Chances are, you had a vision in your mind of what it would be like to be a mom. Maybe it was carried with you from childhood, when you pretended to be a mom to your dolls. Personally, I had a vision of strolling down Venice Beach in a cute outfit with my nails done and perfect hair. I had no idea what it was actually going to be like. The lived reality of motherhood is usually a bit different from the visions in our heads. Suddenly, you’re dealing with sleep schedules, feeding schedules, figuring out how to manage your time and energy in a whole new way. There’s a heavy mental load, lots of new demands, and you’re mentally and physically exhausted. The next thing you know, you haven't showered in days, you forgot to brush your teeth, haven't put a bra on, and can't figure out how to get you and your kid(s) out the door.It can be a little bit of a rude awakening compared to that vision of walking along the beach looking beautiful with the wind blowing in your hair! You probably realize that there are parts of momming that you don’t like. And then you feel like a bad mom. When you’re early on in matrescence (the first 4-5 years), it’s kinda like early adolescence. It feels awful, you don’t know who you are, and you’re confused about what you’re supposed to be doing, what matters, and what doesn’t. That confusion of identity leads us to…The Inner SplitMatrescence isn’t just about schedules and the demands of motherhood. It is a full transformation of identity. Matrescence can be really uncomfortable and isolating. You might feel torn between who you were as a woman and who you are becoming as a mom. Between what you want and the limitations that you’re facing. Dr. Angele explains that most moms make their child a priority, which is natural because babies are so dependent on us for survival. But as time goes on and our inner needs and ambitions are constantly sacrificed, that stuff starts to bubble up and seep out. You might start to test the waters by mentioning the way you’re feeling to family or friends. And too often, it’s invalidated or responded to negatively. When you’re afraid of not being seen as a “good” mom, you’re less likely to be honest about what you’re going through. And social media doesn’t help. Those curated feeds give you the idea that you’re supposed to look or act a certain way. So you think, “Oh, I guess I...
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    51 m
  • The CALM Break

    The CALM Break
    Mar 26 2026
    If you’re a fan of the Pause Break, you are going to love the new and improved tool I’m teaching in today’s episode. And if you’re new here, the CALM Break is going to change the way you show up as a parent!You’ll Learn:Why you feel so stressed out as a parentThe 4 steps of the CALM BreakHow (and when) to use a CALM Break to stop yelling and feel less overwhelmedSome of my favorite thoughts for a more positive mindsetThe CALM Break is the new and improved Pause Break. It’s a step-by-step process for what to do when you find yourself overwhelmed, yelling at your kid, or just not showing up as the parent you want to be. Today, I’m breaking down what it is and how you can use it to show up as a calm mama.--------------------------------Why Aren’t You Calm?We all feel overwhelmed and dysregulated at times, especially when it comes to parenting. Understanding what’s going on can help you to be more compassionate with yourself and feel less out of control.Your nervous system has two parts: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The parasympathetic nervous system is the calm part. It's what we think of as “rest and digest”. It's a state of equilibrium and balance. For the most part, you should be living your life in the parasympathetic nervous system. These are the times when things are relatively easy, you know what to be doing, the demands on you are manageable, and you're able to keep up.When things become stressful - there is too much demand on you and you feel overwhelmed - your nervous system says, “Uh-oh, we can’t handle this,” and it decides that you need a bunch more stress hormones (e.g. adrenaline, cortisol, epinephrine) in order to deal with what’s in front of you. This triggers your sympathetic nervous system. That's the fight, flight, freeze, faint, fawn response. Basically, you either become activated or you shut down. At certain times in your life, this stress response can be really helpful and useful. But we’re not supposed to stay in an activated state all the time. The stressors in our lives aren't supposed to outpace our ability to manage those stressors.But kids (even if you only have one) create a lot of extra stress. You're constantly worried and looking out for their safety. You're constantly trying to problem solve. They’re melting down because their nervous system is immature and misfiring all the time. And then you add the everyday life demands of time, money, work, relationship drama, physical fatigue, and it can feel so overwhelming. A lot of the time, you can handle things as they come up. Somebody spills their juice, you clean it up, you move on. Give yourself a little credit here for not being a raging lunatic all the time! But there are also moments when your stress response takes over. Your brain tells you this is an emergency, your stress response activates, and it takes you out of your logical, thinking response. This is when you need to use the CALM Break to get your parasympathetic nervous system back online to manage the stress juice and get you back to a more balanced state. The CALM BreakListen, if you have kids under 10, it’s probably cuckoo pants all the time in your house. Under age 5, forget it. You've got kids climbing and jumping and throwing and spitting and punching and hitting. And you're gonna feel like you're going bananas (and you kind of are). Your nervous system is not ready for those demands. It’s not built to be. CALM is an acronym that helps you remember the steps to follow when you notice that you are overwhelmed, triggered, or dysregulated. CALM stands for:Catch yourselfAlignLabelMove Step 1: Catch Yourself & PauseThis step is about building awareness of how you’re feeling and when you are dysregulated. You can also think of the “C” as checking in with yourself. This can be as simple as noticing and saying to yourself, “Oh, I’m very overwhelmed right now.” When you interrupt your stress response, you are retraining your nervous system to respond differently to those circumstances. Step 2: AlignAlign refers to getting your nervous system back online with your values and your goals of becoming a calm parent. First, delay. Don’t do any parenting in this moment while you’re activated.Communicate to your kids that you're not in alignment. Say something like, “You know what? I'm getting upset right now. I love you, and I don’t want to yell at you. I'm going to take a CALM break.” Or, “I'm sorry, this is not how I want to act. I will talk to you about this in a few minutes after a take a break.”When you tell your children what is happening in real time, they will feel less afraid. They will feel less activated. Plus, as you start to get calm, they might start to calm down, too. Step 3: Label Your Thoughts & FeelingsNarrate for yourself what you're thinking and what's going on and name those feelings. I want you to do this with kindness and self-compassion. There’s no need for negative ...
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    32 m
  • The Connected Parenting Process

    The Connected Parenting Process
    Mar 19 2026
    I’m back with brand new episodes and a new name for my signature parenting framework!You’ll Learn:Why I changed the name of my signature parenting processThe 4 steps of The Connected Parenting ProcessHow my book is coming along!What to expect in upcoming episodesI want this process to be accessible to EVERY parent - moms, dads, bonus moms, stepdads, even grandparents. I want to talk about parenting in a more holistic way. Introducing The Connected Parenting Process.----------------------------------------I’m back from a 10-week hiatus of recording new episodes. The reason for that break is that I’ve been busy writing a book! It’s all about raising an emotionally healthy kid using connected parenting. More to come on that later, of course.Through the writing process, I realized some things about how I’ve been teaching about parenting and how I want to talk about it moving forward. For the last several years, my signature process has been called The Calm Mama Process. But now, I see that this title isn’t really fair to moms. It makes it seem like the mom is the person who's supposed to be calm and do all the connected parenting. I realized that in some ways, by titling my parenting philosophy “The Calm Mama Process”, I was putting pressure on moms to be the person who's responsible for parenting, and I was alienating dads in the process. I do not want to perpetuate these gender-typical roles and continue putting the emotional and mental labor of parenting solely on women. Frankly, I’m over anything that puts more pressure on moms. I’m done with it.I want this process to be accessible to EVERY parent - moms, dads, bonus moms, stepdads, even grandparents. I want to talk about parenting in a more holistic way. So, I decided to rename my framework The Connected Parenting Process.The Connected Parenting ProcessIf you’ve been with me for a while, this will sound pretty familiar. My process, whatever the name, has always been made up of these 4 parts: calm, connect, limit set, correct. When you practice those 4 pillars, you raise an emotionally healthy kid and you are a connected parent. Let’s walk through them together.CALMCalm is all about the parent and your connection to yourself. The tools, strategies, and concepts under this pillar support your emotional health and your ability to self-regulate. By learning to process your negative emotion, coach yourself through big feelings, and manage your mindset around your kid’s behavior, you will be calm.This is so important (and the first step) because the rest of the parenting pillars are really hard to access if you are not calm and regulated.CONNECTConnect is about connecting your child to themselves. You're teaching your child the connection between what's going on inside of them and how they're acting on the outside. You give them tools to connect how they're behaving to how they're feeling and then coach them to self-regulate.This is one of the main differences between traditional parenting and connected parenting. Traditional parenting is focused only on behavior modification. It doesn’t matter how the parent is acting or if it’s aggressive. It doesn’t matter what is driving that behavior in the child. The focus is solely on behavior and consequences.In connected parenting, we focus on the feelings that are underneath the behavior and on helping our kids learn to cope with their emotions (which means that they don’t need to act out).LIMIT SETLimits connect your child to the boundaries that work within your family. As a connected parent, you will set, communicate, and hold limits. Beyond your family, you’re using boundaries to connect your child to the world - helping them understand how the world works and giving them clear guidance and parameters on which behaviors are okay.This isn't a feelings-only or a behavior-only model. It’s a combination. You can have compassion for your kid and also not give in just because they’re having a big feeling (no way!). Helping them regulate that emotion and having a firm limit helps them to become resilient.CORRECTCorrect is where you show your child the connection between their behavior and the impact of their behavior. If they fail, they have to fix it. If they make a mistake, they have to repair that mistake. We're connecting behavior to consequences.In this model, consequences are not just meant to modify behavior. We’re helping them to see, in a logical, neutral way, that certain behaviors cause problems. Misbehavior might cause a time problem, an energy problem, or a money problem. You want your kid to start to connect the dots between their behavior and the impact their behavior has on others. And then do what they can to make it right.When you have those 4 pillars it means you are raising an emotionally healthy kid who turns into an emotionally healthy adult.If you are hitting those pillars pretty regularly in your parenting, you can kind of relax. That is what I really...
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    24 m
  • How To Apologize and Reconnect with Your Kid [Stop Yelling Series, part 10]

    How To Apologize and Reconnect with Your Kid [Stop Yelling Series, part 10]
    Mar 12 2026
    It happens to us all - You yell, shame, hurt, or otherwise show up in a way you don’t love as a parent. It’s normal to lose it with your kid. It's part of being in a relationship with anybody. There are times when we get upset and create a disconnection, or rupture, with the other person. What’s important is how you choose to handle it afterward. You’ll Learn:Why saying “I’m sorry” is so important (and why it’s only one piece of repair)4-step formula for a repair conversation (with examples)What you need to do before you have this conversation with your kidHow to repair after a longer period of time when you weren’t showing up as the parent you want to beWhen you create a rupture in your relationship with your child, you first have to forgive yourself. Then, it’s time to apologize and reconnect with your kid.---------------------------------------You know what this looks like…Your kid keeps complaining about what you’re serving for dinner.Or they keep asking for something over and over, even though you already said no.Or they start hitting their sibling while you’re trying to make an appointment on your phone. You lose your compassion and patience and get angry, overwhelmed, irritated, or frustrated. You get dysregulated, short-tempered, and disrespectful toward your child. It’s normal to lose it with your kid. It's part of being in a relationship with anybody. There are times when we get upset and create a disconnection, or rupture, with the other person. What’s important is how you choose to handle it afterward. What It Feels Like For Your KidChildren are very self centered. That's their natural way of viewing the world. They're pretty sure the world revolves around them. So when they notice that you’re mad, they will automatically think that they are the reason. And further, they’ll think that something is wrong with who they are. They don’t know how to separate their core self from their behavior yet. They internalize our anger, and it's very easy for them to go into shame. This means that when you yell or get upset, you have to go back and give your child some understanding of why you behaved the way you did. We call this repair. You explain to them that you were in a big feeling cycle, and you didn’t use your tools of taking a pause or deep breathing or moving your body or whatever you typically use to calm yourself. The conversation is about repairing your relationship with your child, as well as their self-esteem and internal self-talk (basically your kid’s relationship with themself). When To RepairHere are some signs that your child might need a repair conversation with you. You might notice that they:Seem deflatedWithdraw from youLook confused by your face or your behaviorCryRun awayGet more aggressiveWhen you act out your big feelings on your kid, it activates their stress response. They go into fight, flight, freeze, faint, or fawn. Anytime you notice that you’ve created a rupture, go make a repair. If you’re at the beginning of your Calm Mama journey, you’ll probably have to do this a lot. You haven’t developed the skills yet, and that’s okay. You are still learning. Another thing to note is that the repair conversation should happen separately from parenting, limit setting, or correction. You might feel tempted to say something to your kid like, “I’m sorry I yelled, but I wouldn’t yell at you if you would just put your pajamas on.” Discussion about your child’s behavior is a whole different conversation. You are responsible for how you respond to misbehavior. Repair is the time for you to fix your mistake and reconnect.How To Apologize and Reconnect with Your KidRepair is the act of returning to a moment of disconnection, taking responsibility for your behavior, and acknowledging its impact on your child. You caused a problem with your behavior, and it is your responsibility to make it right. You’re essentially saying to your child, “Hey, I know that happened. I was wrong. I’m sorry, and I’m working on it.”But it’s not enough just to say, “I’m sorry.” We also want our kids to have a chance to talk about how they felt in that moment and have their feelings acknowledged. We want them to understand that your behavior was not about them. Remember, it’s not your kid’s job to forgive you and make you feel better. You have to do that work for yourself first. Take the time to reflect, get calm, and forgive yourself for your mistake. When you’re ready, you are the one who should initiate the repair conversation. Don’t wait for your kid to come to you. Whether it’s the same day or a couple of days later, come back to the incident in a timely manner. Step 1: Narrate the moment of disconnection. Let your child know that you’ve been thinking about what happened. Talk about how you acted out.Step 2: Take responsibility. This is the “I’m sorry.” Before you go into this conversation, make sure that you are ...
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    30 m
  • Rupture & Repair [Stop Yelling Series, part 9]

    Rupture & Repair [Stop Yelling Series, part 9]
    Mar 5 2026

    When you lose your temper with your kid, it doesn’t feel great. But it IS totally normal.

    Perfection is not possible, in parenting especially. All parents lose their temper and speak or act harshly towards their kids from time to time.

    You’ll Learn:

    1. Unhealthy ways parents often handle a rupture
    2. 10 benefits of repair conversations for kids
    3. How to lead a repair conversation with your child (and what to expect when you do)

    In this episode, I’m sharing what’s really going on when you lose your temper and what to do after the dust settles.

    -----------------------------------

    When You Lose Your Temper

    First, let’s get clear on one thing.

    No one can make you angry. Not even your kid.

    Anger is an emotion that comes from your thoughts about a situation or behavior.

    And getting angry isn’t actually the problem.

    What really matters is how you handle the moments when anger takes over and you lose your temper.

    These moments are sometimes called “ruptures”, because they interrupt the connection between parent and child.

    When you speak or act harshly towards your child, you create a negative impact and disconnection in your relationship.

    Have A Repair Conversation

    When you do lose your temper, it’s time to take responsibility for your actions and repair the rupture (in the same way we would guide our kids to take responsibility for the impacts of their behavior).

    "Repair" is the conversation you have with your child in order to mend the disconnection between you.

    These conversations teach your kids how to resolve conflict, empower them to make mistakes and repair them and create more emotional safety and connection in your home.

    A repair conversation has three parts:

    1. Acknowledge what happened
    2. Recognize the impact your behavior had on them
    3. Repair your mistake

    And in between, you hold plenty of space for your child to process and respond.

    I’ll walk you through these three parts in more detail and show you how to have a repair conversation with your kids that actually restores connection and strengthens your relationships.

    There is no "right" outcome for these conversations. They can be awkward and don't always go smoothly. But, I promise, the benefits outweigh the discomfort.

    Listen in to learn how so that you’ll be ready the next time you lose your cool.


    Free Resources:

    Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!

    In this free guide you’ll discover:

    ✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

    ✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

    ✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

    ✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

    Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet here

    Connect With Darlynn:
    1. Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
    2. Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
    3. Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
    4. Rate and review the podcast on Itunes
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    27 m
  • The Difference Between Mean & Firm [Stop Yelling Series, part 8]

    The Difference Between Mean & Firm [Stop Yelling Series, part 8]
    Feb 26 2026

    Ever feel like you are a mean mom? The difference between being mean and being firm can be confusing. A lot of moms think that when they are firm with their children, they are being mean.

    You’ll Learn:

    1. How to tell the difference between firmness and meanness as a mom
    2. What to do when you’ve been mean toward your kid
    3. Why building firm, strong leadership in your family is so important

    Get clear on the difference between being firm and mean and what to do when you’ve actually been mean with your child.

    -------------------------------------

    The Difference Between Being Mean & Firm

    I want you to know…

    1. Using a firm voice isn’t mean.
    2. Keeping people safe isn’t mean.
    3. Having limits isn’t mean.
    4. Enforcing your boundaries isn’t mean.
    5. Following through on consequences isn’t mean.

    Being mean is when you hurt your child’s body. It’s when the moment of holding their arm to protect yourself or others becomes you squeezing too hard, or shoving their body away.

    Being mean with your mouth is when you personalize your kid’s behavior or mistakes and say something about them as a person.

    There might be a moment or many moments when you’ve been physical with your child in a way that crossed a line. Or moments when you’ve called your child a mean name. Or lectured them into shutdown mode. Cornered them with your rage.

    1. Lectures are often mean.
    2. Insults are mean.
    3. Name calling is mean.
    4. Physical aggression is mean.
    5. Threats are mean.
    6. Sometimes rescuing your kid from a mistake is mean.

    What To Do When You’ve Been a Mean Mom

    As you hear me share examples in this episode, you might be flooded with shame and guilt.

    The way to get out of that shame and guilt is to talk about these moments. To find out what was going on for you in that moment. To be tender enough with yourself that you can say what you did, and ALSO explore what led up to that moment. You can’t change something if you won’t look at it.

    The best thing you can do is find your firm, strong, leadership voice as a mom. Get clear on what is and what is not allowed in your family. Be firm, without being harsh.

    I’ll leave you with this quote from one of my clients who said “Firm limits are the shortcut to the behavior you want without making your kid feel like shit in the process”. Yep. Firm, but not mean. You’ve got this.


    Free Resources:

    Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!

    In this free guide you’ll discover:

    ✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

    ✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

    ✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

    ✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

    Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet here

    Connect With Darlynn:
    1. Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
    2. Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
    3. Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
    4. Rate and review the podcast on Itunes
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    24 m
  • The 3 Stages of Becoming Calm [Stop Yelling Series, part 7]

    The 3 Stages of Becoming Calm [Stop Yelling Series, part 7]
    Feb 19 2026
    One thing moms struggle with is feeling bad about their progress in becoming calm and showing up calm with their kids. We all know we aren’t at our best when we’re stressed, overwhelmed and reactive. But knowing how to calm down in the moment isn’t always as easy as it sounds.You’ll Learn:Why you become reactive and yell, threaten or ice your kid outThree steps to pause and get back to calmClues you need a Pause BreakWhat to do after you’ve reacted in a way you don’t loveI’m walking you through my 3-step process to catch yourself, pause and get back to feeling calm.---------------------------------------Why Do I Still Get So Mad?All moms experience really tough parenting moments. Moments when you’ve been stuck in what I call Mad Mom SyndromeYou know what I'm talking about. Moments when your child is a bit off track and you get upset and all of a sudden you are yelling, threatening, and lecturing, followed by guilt and rushed apologies.Moments you are worried that the behavior you see in the present is a predictor of the future, so you act super strict and controlling.Moments when you are frustrated and say a snide or mean remark to your kid.Then, when you have a mad mom episode and act in a way you don’t think you should, a lot of criticism, guilt, and doubt pours in. You feel bad that you aren’t calm or think you should be getting there faster. But here’s the thing…Becoming calm is a PROCESS. It’s a PRACTICE. It’s something you work on over time. Some days it’s easy, and some days it isn’t. All of that is ok.These types of moments are a clue that you are in your stress cycle and feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Your brain is convinced that the circumstance is an emergency. Then, the brain activates a BIG, INTENSE STRESS RESPONSE.You become super reactive and respond to your children with stress, anxiety, frustration or anger. Then they escalate their stress behaviors and the next thing you know you are in a chaotic argument with your kids. The 3 Stages of Becoming CalmBecoming Calm is a process. It takes time. Be gentle with yourself. When you feel yourself spiraling, CATCH YOURSELF AND PAUSE. This is simple but not easy, and it comes in stages.Stage 1 - The AFTER. When you’re first starting out, you may only catch yourself after you've yelled or gotten upset. Stage 2 - The DURING. After a while, you’ll catch yourself while you are yelling or acting upset. Stage 3 - The BEFORE. Eventually you start to catch yourself before you yell or act out your frustration/overwhelm. This is the goal that you’re working towards. No matter what stage you’re in, to get out of Mad Mom Syndrome and get back to feeling calm, you need the Pause Break. There are also 3 steps to the Pause Break:Step 1: STOPDon't Talk. Don't Engage. You can stop yourself at any point when you notice you are in your stress response and are seeing signs of Mad Mom Syndrome.Step 2: DELAYDon’t decide. Don’t act. Don't do anything about the situation (unless it’s a true emergency). Give yourself time to think and get calm.Step 3: RESETActively do something to calm your stress response. During a "Reset", you will move your body, your mind or both. Pause is where all of your personal growth happens. It’s the space where change occurs. If you only take one thing away from this episode, I hope it’s this: You can always PAUSE.This process is what it ACTUALLY looks like when you are changing your brain and the way you show up as a parent. Be gentle with yourself, Mama. You’ve got this! Mentioned in this Episode:Episode 2: Getting to Calm with The Pause BreakFree Resources:Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!In this free guide you’ll discover:✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet hereConnect With Darlynn:Book a complimentary session with DarlynnLearn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.comFollow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tipsRate and review the podcast on Itunes
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    32 m
  • My Go-To Strategy for Getting to CALM [Stop Yelling Series, part 6]

    My Go-To Strategy for Getting to CALM [Stop Yelling Series, part 6]
    Feb 12 2026
    In this episode I’m sharing with you my definition of CALM and giving you my go-to strategy for getting to calm using a tool I call The Pause Break. You’ll Learn:Why Mad Mom Syndrome happensWhy your kid’s behavior triggers such strong feelingsHow your stress response influences your actionsThe 3 simple steps of The Pause Break that you can do anytime, anywhereThe Pause Break allows you to access calm, even in the middle of a moment when you feel overwhelmed or angry.----------------------------------------Before we get to that, let’s talk about what the absence of calm looks like. I know you’ve been there, and so have I. Get Calm with the Pause BreakShowing up when you aren’t feeling calm looks a little different for everyone, but you might find yourself:yellingsaying mean thingsmaking threatsrescuingbribingbeing rough with your kid's bodygiving in to your kid's demandsfeeling exhaustedlecturingtalking a lotshutting downnot following through on consequencesnot taking care of yourselfsleeping poorlygrumpiness that you can't shakeescalating things when your kid gets upsetshutting your kid down…generally acting in ways you don’t love.When you have a mad mom episode, it’s easy to beat yourself up and tell yourself things like I’m a bad mom or I’m messing up my kids. Which makes you feel guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, frustrated and confused. The more negative thoughts you have, the more defeated, discouraged, and guilty you will feel. And when you feel bad, it’s hard to change your behavior. So you end up yelling again.I call this Mad Mom Syndrome, and it is a vicious cycle of negative thoughts leading to negative feelings leading to negative actions and then back again. So how do you break that cycle?That’s what we’re diving into for these 30 minutes. The Pause Break is the single most important tool I teach. It is where all of your personal growth happens. It’s the space where change occurs. If you only take one thing away from this podcast episode, I hope it’s this: You can always take a PAUSE BREAK. It’s the first, and most important, step towards CALM.Listen to the full episode now for all the details.Related Episodes:Episode 8: Pause & Reset Your BodyEpisode 9: Pause & Reset Your EmotionsEpisode 10: Pause & Reset Your MindFree Resources:Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet!In this free guide you’ll discover:✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet hereConnect With Darlynn:Book a complimentary session with DarlynnLearn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.comFollow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tipsRate and review the podcast on Itunes
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    24 m