If you’re feeling like your family could use a break from screens and a reset, this is the episode for you. You may remember a podcast I recorded last year about how to do a digital detox. Well, that episode was based on an amazing book called Digital Detox: The Two-Week Tech Reset for Kids, and I am so thankful to have the author, Molly DeFrank, here with me today.

You’ll Learn:

• Why letting go of control can actually help you find solutions
• Our real-life experiences with digital detoxes in our own families
• How to help kids manage their boredom and big feelings without screens
• The 4-step method to a digital detox

Molly normalizes tech overuse (it’s not just you!) and lays out a simple, accessible way for you to give your kid a break from digital input, reset their nervous system, and allow your family to become a bit more whole and integrated. You’ll love our conversation and hearing Molly’s perspective.

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Molly DeFrank is a mom to six children, ages 8 to 15, and the author of two parenting books, including Digital Detox: The Two-Week Tech Reset for Kids. She lives in California and has helped thousands of families break free from digital dependence.

I often think of the pandemic as “letting the cat out of the bag” when it comes to screens. Even for slow tech families, school was online and our kids were spending way more time on screens. So now, 5 years later, our kids are struggling and we’re seeing a lot of families doing some course correction.

Molly shared that the vast majority of parents say that their kids’ screen use is their biggest parenting struggle and that “8 to 12 year-old kids are spending 40 hours per week on digital entertainment…13 to 18 year-olds are spending 50 hours a week. Our kids are spending the same amount of time as having a full time job being digitally entertained.”

Molly was heavily influenced by Dr. Victoria Dunckley, who coined a new condition called Electronic Screen Syndrome that is brought on by too much digital entertainment. It can disguise itself as ADHD, bipolar disorder, or OCD, when it’s really just the adrenaline, cortisol, and dopamine that is hijacking their brains. She saw so much of this that she decided to no longer diagnose a new client until they had undergone a digital detox. And most of the time, symptoms were resolved and medication was not needed. That’s how powerful this is.

Some of these symptoms that come with screen overuse include irritability, aggression, low frustration tolerance, problems sleeping, and inattentiveness.

Parents know that something needs to change, but they don’t want to deal with the fallout and tantrums of reducing or taking away screens.

I know you’ve experienced this. The timer goes off, and the monster comes out. The negotiations (just 5 more minutes, pleeeease) and big feelings begin. This is purely dysregulation from the transition from stimulation from that device to non stimulation. I call this the boredom gap, and believe it or not, there is so much hope and freedom on the other side.

Molly wants us to know that a detox doesn’t mean you’re signing up for 2 weeks (or forever) of screen tantrums. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. She says, “You’re actually getting your kids back.” A detox comes with benefits to your child's creativity, mental health, social life, and academics, as well as your relationship with them.

In fact, every parent she knows who has...

Today, I am so excited to introduce two special guests, Julie Scelfo and Julie Fruman, from Mothers Against Media Addiction (or MAMA). I believe so much in MAMA’s vision and mission for healthier tech and healthier families. I can’t wait for you to meet them.

You’ll Learn:

• How a simple shift helped my guest’s son love reading.
• Why the era of anxious parenting is making it even harder for parents to say no to screens.
• Short and long term risks of media overuse.
• 3 ways to help your kids develop healthier relationships with screens
• Why community is the key to battling media addiction

This episode is full of simple, practical ways you can help your family have a healthier, more balanced relationship with screens and media.

So sit back and listen to us talk about the hope for an environment where media does not infiltrate everything and our kids can grow up without overexposure to media and screens.

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Julie Scelfo is the founder and executive director of MAMA, and she has created a chapter-based grassroots movement of parents who are fighting back against media addiction. Her goal is to create a world in which real life experiences and interactions remain at the heart of a healthy childhood. She is an award-winning journalist, a former New York Times staff writer, a media ecologist, and a parent.

She says, “MAMA grew out of my own frustration as a parent trying to keep my kids safe online and realizing that the problem was beyond anything I alone could manage as a parent. At one point, I signed them up for software that was going to let me know anytime they were exposed to something dangerous. And I started getting over 100 emails a day. And I realized there's no way that I could manage all of that alone.”

Now, MAMA has a 3-part mission to educate parents, get smartphones out of schools, and advocate for basic safeguards on technology products.

Julie Fruman is the leader of the local chapter of MAMA in my community. For more than a decade, Julie has provided mental health support to individuals, couples and families. She holds a Masters degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University and is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice.

She hosts frequent workshops for parents, teens and tweens, encouraging safe, intentional, balanced technology use through the Conejo Valley Chapter of MAMA.

She says, “When MAMA first launched, I heard about it and I knew immediately I wanted to get involved. I loved the idea of having other parents around me and not doing this work solo. I like being with other parents who want the same things for our children and for the community, too. I wanted to do this hand in hand and not by myself.”

If you’re like a lot of moms I talk to, you just feel a little “off” when it comes to screens and tech. You know something doesn’t feel quite right, but you’re not sure why or what exactly to do about it.

Scelfo says, “We as a society right now are completely addicted to media and screens. Think of all the places we have screens. They are in our restaurants, they are in our cars, our elevators, our gas pumps. There's almost no place that you can go anymore and just enjoy the natural setting without being bombarded with information.”

And this constant exposure comes with some downsides.

Acute Risks

We know what dangers look like in the “real world”, but we can’t always see what’s happening online. Social algorithms often promote content that includes...

We’re a few weeks into summer, and you might be starting to feel like you’re in the doldrums. If you’ve been feeling frustrated, disappointed or sad that your summer isn’t going quite the way you hoped it would, this is the episode for you.

You’ll Learn:

• Common challenges with kids in the summer
• 4 strategies to do a summer reset and get things back on track
• Some thoughts you can borrow to create the feelings you want this summer

In this encore episode, I’m talking about how to do a summer reset and get things back on track.

You can read the full show notes here.

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Grab the free summer toolkit here and get a link to the full Calm Mama Summer playlist on Spotify, plus lots of other great resources!

In this free guide you’ll discover:

✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)

✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)

✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)

✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)

Download the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet here

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