Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week we’re joined by none other than our favorite comedian in the whole world, Mr. Hugh Howser, who shows up dressed like the head of the PTO and immediately takes the whole episode off the rails.

We start with how nobody in this room loved Halloween as a kid, and then it gets worse (better?) from there. Riley takes us through sleeping in his grandma’s sewing room under an 8x10 portrait of a man named Stan, on a 42-year-old mattress with a dip in the middle big enough to need disaster relief. Hugh tells us how his housekeeper walked in on him and the two of them screamed, then danced to mariachi at 6 a.m. Then we spiral into rooster decor, Highland cows with bangs, country maternity photo shoots, gender reveal parties, and why a British child saying “Father Christmas” is enough to end us.

Somewhere along the way, we discuss the jacket potato lady and her flawless spoon technique, a 2 a.m. Waffle House run, putting anything on earth between two pieces of bread, and why we will never, ever sign up for a car wash membership. Then Hugh pulls back the curtain on 22 years of celebrity weddings, how he went from event planner to one of the funniest people in Nashville, and the story of the department store he ran out of his bedroom at seven years old, complete with a cash register, inventory nights, and a no-return policy. We also get into our dream jobs (flight attendant, usher, bank teller), our love of a landline, a $600 plate of pig foam, and our upcoming trip to Sandals.

Basically, we’re taking over a Golden Corral, running a department store, and talking about everything except anything important. If you’ve ever been cornered by a car wash kiosk, been haunted by a portrait over your grandma’s guest bed, or secretly wanted to be an usher at the performing arts center, this episode is for you.

Love y’all. Bye!

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Landon Mauk:

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Riley Mitchell:

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Hugh Howser:

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! It’s episode 40, which is apparently a whole pregnancy’s worth of us running our mouths, and this week we’re doing it with tequila shots at an 8:30 a.m. charity breakfast, a spontaneous road trip to Georgia, and a Christmas tree already up on the kitchen counter. We kick things off with why we’d rather scrub our baseboards with a toothbrush than step foot in a haunted house, followed by Aunt Denise’s phone call that left us wondering if you should always check the dryer before you hit start. (The cat is fine. Mostly. Probably.) Then we get into assembling a balcony chair and feeling like we could build an ark, why we both failed math, and our deep love of a good PowerPoint.

Somewhere along the way, we debate whether you really need to dress for success, why a southern woman doesn’t leave the house without her lip liner, and our very strong feelings about pimple patches on the food industry, dogs in the grocery store, and the Cracker Barrel gift shop being the closest thing to heaven on earth. We also announce that we’re taking two shows to Nashville Comedy Fest on April 15th, tease a big announcement coming in the second week of November, and debut our brand-new Bloodline Q&A, where we cover ideal days of eating, our most overrated vacation spots, and the great Dancing With the Stars debate. Cousin Council is back in session, too, with a rock-solid answer for the girl with the cheating baby daddy and a very clever bathroom-accident cover-up that deserves an award.

Basically, we’re doing a lot of talking and not saying anything important. If you’ve ever wanted to call a motivational speaker’s bluff, been mad at a Walmart shopper’s Chihuahua, or just want to see what happens when the Cracker Barrel gift shop hates to see you coming, this episode is for you.

Love y’all. Bye!

Thank you to these sponsors:

Steward: Go to https://withsteward.com and use code BLOODLINE10 for 10 percent off. That's withsteward.com, code BLOODLINE10.

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Riley Mitchell:

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Welcome back to another episode of Bloodline Banter! This week, we have a familiar face back in the studio! By popular demand, Skylar Oxford is joining us again, and you already know things are about to get out of hand!

We’re recapping our trip to New York City, seeing ourselves on a Times Square billboard, and why we might not be cut out for big-city living. Between a questionable Uber driver, some unforgettable sights in Times Square, and an airport experience that nearly sent us over the edge, we've got plenty to unpack. We’re also talking about blocking exes on every platform imaginable, the good old days of Wii Sports and Club Penguin, flying Teslas, and why Siri might be losing her mind!

But that's just the beginning! Skylar has a few things to get off her chest, including what happens when somebody crosses, and why certain people should be nervous if we three ever write a book. We also get into some questionable dating decisions, the lengths we'll go to when somebody blocks us, and a few confessions that probably should've stayed off the microphone. Let's just say some people might want to keep an eye on their Cash App! And somehow, in true Bloodline Banter fashion, we end up debating ranch dressing, Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes, Southern comfort food, and whether a meal replacement actually counts as a meal.

We're taking a trip down memory lane to Vacation Bible School, discussing our plans for a Teddy Swims concert, and sharing enough unpopular opinions to keep everybody talking. One thing's for sure, with the three of us together, no topic is safe! If you’ve ever blocked somebody and still had a few things left to say, missed the good old days of Nintendo Wii, or found yourself in a conversation that went absolutely nowhere but covered everything, this episode is for you!

Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum:

Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter

Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline

and use code BLOODLINE to receive a Füm Topper with your purchase.

Steward: Go to withsteward.com

and use code BLOODLINE10 for 10 percent off. That's withsteward.com, code BLOODLINE10.

LET'S GET SOCIAL:

Bloodline Banter:Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/

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Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com

Landon Mauk:

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Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk

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Riley Mitchell:

Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933

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Skylar Oxford:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sj.oxford/

Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@sjxoxo

Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@skylar.oxford