Hey, Team!

Have you ever tried to motivate yourself or a loved one with a reward only to have the process backfire? There's a ton of research behind that experience, and that's what Dr Ozgur shares with us. This is particularly helpful insight, as we often try to pair rewards with new executive function skills, and in the process, we may be hindering, rather than supporting, growth!

Ozgur shares his personal history of high achievement leading to anxiety. When he realized his happiness depended on approval, he knew things needed to change--and he needed to show parents alternatives to the reward trap. On our show, we dive into how rewards can be a tool of control and Ozgur contrasts control-based questions (“How can I make my child do homework?”) with connection-based alternatives. He'll teach us to consider what’s actually going on beneath the surface of kids’ behavior — and how a simple shift in approach can change everything. All my love to you, team,

SarahYou will hear:00:41 Why Rewards Feel Weird01:46 The Reward Trap Story05:01 Compliance Versus Ownership06:06 Stickers And Values08:28 Rewards As Control08:35 ADHD Mismatch Not Deficit12:34 When Rewards Can Help16:52 Competence And Autonomy20:36 Hidden Cost Conditional Love21:57 Grades Mastery And Anxiety26:57 PEACE Model Alternative30:36 Discipline Over Motivation34:29 Wrap Up And SkittlesFrom the show:

PEACE model (Dr. Bolat’s evidence-based alternative to rewards):

• P — Perspective: What is my child’s perspective on this situation? Before reacting, get curious about how they’re seeing it.
• E — Emotion & Cognition: What is my child feeling and thinking? Children often express emotions through behavior, and understanding both helps parents respond to what’s actually going on.
• A — Ask About Needs: What need is driving this behavior? Every act of resistance or acting out is usually an unmet need in disguise.
• C — Commitment: How can I commit to solving the root problem, not just the surface behavior? Quick fixes don’t build lasting change — this step is about going deeper.
• E — Engagement: How do I stay engaged in creating a healthy environment for my child’s growth? This isn't a one-time fix; it’s an ongoing relationship built on connection, not control.

About the Author:

Dr. Özgür Bolat is a distinguished education scientist, researcher, associate professor, and author with a career spanning academia, media, and corporate partnerships. His groundbreaking research on parenting and teaching has earned him international recognition, including the prestigious Best Young Researcher award in New Zealand. He holds a master’s degree from Harvard Graduate School of Education (Fulbright and TEV scholar) and a PhD from the University of Cambridge. During his doctoral studies, he spent one year as a visiting PhD student at MIT Sloan. His academic work has been complemented by a successful media career, where he served as a columnist for a major national newspaper for 12 years, establishing himself as a leading voice in education and parenting. Dr. Bolat is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and parenting workshop leader.

https://www.instagram.com/dr.ozgurbolat/

https://ozgurbolat.co.uk/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/%C3%B6zg%C3%BCr-bolat-2034148

Hey team,

Today we learn from Dr. Tara Williams, a tenured chemistry professor and founder of Innovative Collegiate Consultants> We talk about why the transition from K–12 to college is so challenging—especially for neurodivergent students (with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or dyspraxia) and anyone struggling with executive functioning.

We dig into how technology and AI can both help and hinder attention, memory, and critical thinking, and why analog tools like handwriting and paper planners still matter. Tara shares common college stress points like navigating accommodations, self-advocacy, managing unstructured time, and building community through study groups and body doubling. We also explore how parents and educators can scaffold support without becoming a student’s external executive function, and Tara highlights a student success story involving a major change, accommodations, and a visual Post-it system. I learned a lot from my brilliant colleague, and I think you will, too!

All my love,

Sarah

Our show:

01:39 From Chem To Coaching

04:12 Invisible Skills And Life Stages

06:36 Tech Overload And AI

12:06 College Transition Struggles

15:26 Community And Body Doubling

18:16 Tips For Professors

21:47 Support Without Enabling

28:02 Student Success Story

30:45 Analog Systems And Grace

33:03 Where To Find Tara

About Tara: Dr. Tara Williams is the founder of Innovative Collegiate Consultants and a tenured chemistry professor at College of the Canyons in Santa Clarita, California. With a PhD in Synthetic Inorganic Chemistry from the University of Sussex, she has spent over twenty years teaching and more than a decade supporting neurodivergent students as they transition from K–12 to college. Her team specializes in executive functioning coaching and academic support grounded in Universal Design principles to help students build confidence and self-advocacy. Dr. Williams is currently publishing a book about her educational journey and her work with neurodivergent college students, set for release in July 2026.

Website: https://innovativecollegiateconsultants.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-williams-phd/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iccedservices#

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_innovative_consultants

Connect with me!

My book is out in the wild, and it's changing lives! Order Growing Executive Function at ⁠Solution Tree ⁠or on ⁠Amazon⁠.

I'm also training educators and organizations across this beautiful globe, and we're finding improving executive function is game-changing! If that sounds like what your school or organization needs, ⁠reach out⁠! Sarah at sarahkesty.com.

Hey team!

Meet my friend Chris Mukibi, a Southern California high school chemistry and AVID teacher, and generally awesome human. We dive into the neuroscience of classroom behavior and the art that is managing humans. We discuss regulation and dysregulation, why shared language helps prevent behavior issues, and how reframing behavior as a message is more useful than labeling kids as “jerks” (or worse).

Chris helps us understand the link between increased anxiety and dysregulation and the broader societal stressors like internet-driven information overload, rapid technological change, and unpredictability. You'll learn practical executive-function supports—predictable routines, visuals, calendars, sticky notes, and checklists—to externalize working memory and reduce cognitive load at school and at home. You'll love his approachable wisdom and humor!

All my love,

Sarah

About Chris: Chris Mukiibi is a high school chemistry and AVID teacher in Southern California and the founder of BrightStar Education. He's the author of The Learning Compass and the creator of Behavior By Design, a coaching framework that has trained hundreds of educators to manage classroom behavior through the nervous system rather than through control. His core idea is simple: behavior is downstream, emotional state is upstream, and a student stuck in stress or survival can't access focus, planning, or self-regulation, no matter how good the strategy is. He still teaches every day, which means everything he shares was tested in a real classroom that week.

⁠Instagram⁠ instagram.com/mrmukiibi

Email: chris@chrismukiibi.com

The show:

01:59 Sleep and Self Regulation

02:49 Language Behind Behavior

04:12 Kids These Days Debate

05:51 Internet and Rapid Change

07:40 Uncertainty and Stress State

10:35 Tame Jungle vs Prepare Kids

13:32 Zone of Proximal Growth

15:11 Carlos and Real Wins

18:09 Growth Mindset and EF Tools

19:12 Working Memory Nerd Out

20:36 Offload Your Memory

21:58 Sticky Notes and Lists

23:15 To Do Lists for Anxiety

24:28 Predictability for Presence

25:24 Classroom Routines Framework

27:28 Expectations Reduce Anxiety

29:43 Visual Scaffolds for Change

33:06 Capacity Over Knowing Better

34:35 Regulate First Then Teach

36:11 Calming Cues for Adults

38:00 Where to Find Chris

38:51 Wrap Up and Thanks

Connect with Sarah!

My book is out in the wild, and it's changing lives! Order Growing Executive Function at ⁠Solution Tree ⁠or on ⁠Amazon⁠.

I'm also training educators and organizations across this beautiful globe, and we're finding improving executive function is game-changing! If that sounds like what your school or organization needs, ⁠reach out⁠! Sarah at sarahkesty.com.