A Pity Party Is Still a Party

A Feel-Good Guide to Feeling Bad

By: Chelsea Harvey Garner

Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon

Most of us try to avoid feeling sad, but in this candid, comical, and deeply-felt book, therapist Chelsea Harvey Garner doesn’t just argue that the future will be brighter if we learn to enjoy the unenjoyable and support each other when the vibes aren’t so good, she also shows us how.

What if all the advice we’ve received about “looking on the bright side” is wrong? What if sadness is actually the key to happiness, and can even be . . . fun? Garner is here to make that case. In this feel-good guide to feeling bad, she claims it’s not enough for us to tolerate hard feelings. We need to embrace them. We need to let them show by crying with others. Often. In public.

Playful, at times irreverent, but always sincere, Garner is the grown-up Miss Frizzle for the therapy generation. She believes that if we want to build a world where mental health is the norm, we have to lean into connection and count on each other, even—and perhaps especially—at our worst.

Through anecdotes about her own hardships and insights gained in her clinical practice, Garner illuminates the power (and embarrassment) of opening up. Featuring solo exercises, group activities, and journal prompts alongside personal essays, she invites us to see emotions in a new light and engage with them in a healthier way. A Pity Party is Still a Party helps us find the silver lining, but only after we’ve played in the rain.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

Had to buy the hardcover too

This book is fantastic. It’s everything I needed from a book about feelings (and the permission to have them!) told in a modern and fresh tone. It’s so incredible to have the little tips and tricks based in paganism also, the whole thing just resonated so deeply and gave me perspective to challenge some of my beliefs and the space to expand my heart. I was in tears by the end of Bless This Mess. I bought the hardcover too, the drawings are adorable. (Author drew them herself!)

Fun and refreshing

I think everyone can benefit from this book. The author is hilarious and made me feel whole and affirmed even though I know I am basically a hot mess. I appreciate her transparency and honesty with her own life experience. There is no pretending she is more perfect than her readers, and made me feel like I could trust her. Her suggestions for various pity parties were healing just imagining what it would be like to throw one. It was the book I didn’t know I needed to read.

permission to be exactly as you are

this book is for people who know deep in their hearts that there isn’t anything wrong with them, and that the social messages telling us to be quiet and keep it together and not bother others are what’s really wrong. if we all took the advice in this book, we’d be less lonely, ashamed, and burnt out, and we may even be able to enjoy our complicated lives just as they are.