Mostrando resultados por narrador "David Lewis" en Todas las categorías

Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).

On his 13th birthday, foster child Alcatraz Smedry gets a bag of sand in the mail - his only inheritance from his father and mother. He soon learns that this is no ordinary bag of sand. It is quickly stolen by the cult of evil Librarians who are taking over the world by spreading misinformation and suppressing truth. Alcatraz must stop them, using the only weapon he has: an incredible talent for breaking things.

Heading west to San Diego some honest pilgrims paid 10 men good money to keep their wagon train safe. Soon word comes to Tombstone, where Matt Bodine and Sam Two Wolves are wearing out their welcome gambling with Wyatt Earp. The wagon train’s guards turned against their charges and headed off to Mexico with six young pioneer girls captive. Everyone knows the tortures of the damned that await the girls in the hellholes south of the border. But only Matt and Sam will do something about it.

Magus is a steel-eyed cybernetic sociopath whose bloodlust knows no bounds. Now, the savage Pacific isles above a long-submerged Southern California are his new arena. Ryan wants a second chance to chill Magus once and for all. But as the ringmaster of torture orchestrates his magnum opus, a stunning sideshow is under way. Pre-Dark white coats believe they have found the key to turn back time and intercept the deed that erased human history.

Wayson Harris was one of thousands of clones born and bred to be the ultimate soldiers. But as an outlawed model, he was different from the rest - possessing independent thoughts and an addiction to violence. Stranded on a frontier planet, Harris is desperate to get back to civilization - and back into the fight. But the rebel factions are warring among themselves, and Harris is contacted by a group that wants to return to the Unified Authority's command.

Matt and Sam never could refuse a damsel in distress, so a whole coach load of lovelies, lead by the fetching Charity McKenzie, seems like a gift from heaven. But if it looks too good to be true, it usually is — and in short order the blood will start to flow. Matt and Sam rush in anyway and faster than you can say “soiled doves,” they’re up to their necks in trouble.

In this raw, brutal world ruled by the strongest and the most vicious, an unseen player is manipulating Ryan and his band, luring him across an unseen battle line drawn in the dust outside Tucson, Arizona. Here, a local barony becomes the staging ground for a battle unlike any other, against a foe whose ties to pre-Dark society present a new and incalculable threat to a fragile world. Ryan Cawdor is the only man living who stands between this adversary's glory...and the prize he seeks.

Matt Bodine and Sam Two Wolves don't look for trouble - it's usually there when they wake up in the morning. When they ride into the little silver mining town of Jordanville, high in the Colorado Rockies, all they want is a hot meal and something cold to wash it down. When they see an unarmed man getting brutally beaten by a hard case with a bullwhip, their plans suddenly change. Before they can spit, the blood brothers find themselves in the middle of a violent land war and up to their noses in claim jumpers and hired guns itching to open fire.

Smoke Jensen was buying cattle a hundred miles away from his Colorado ranch when he got the news. He saddled up, rode off, and didn’t stop until he reached his wife’s side. She had been shot three times and lay close to death. Smoke knew the outlaws had come to kill him and he wasn’t going to give them a second chance. He was going after them.

Thanks to Chiun's "emptying basin" technique, past U.S. presidents remember nothing about CURE, America's most secret defense organization. Now a former head of state believed to have lost his mind suddenly finds it - and calls Dr. Harold Smith to say hi. But before Remo and Chiun can redo their amnesia trick, the old guy is kidnapped by bumbling eco-terrorists eager to sell him to a desert despot with a grudge.

The damsel is in distress, or so it seems to Conrad Browning. On his way across the wide, tall Utah territory to California, the Loner meets a beautiful Mormon girl on the run from a forced wedding - and the gun-toting faithful trying to hunt her down. But there are two sides to every story - and the ones you don't hear are the ones that can get you killed. The runaway bride has a little history of her own. Soon, the Loner touches off a storm of unholy gunfire, drawing blood from an outlaw and a death sentence from a patriarch.

The killings that once plagued New Orleans are cropping up again in Seattle. The local office is stumped. I’m called out to lend a fresh set of eyes, and my unique magical touch. It’s only when I get there that I realize the Seattle office isn’t stumped at all. They’re being silenced by the Mages’ Guild, a corrupt magical institution that doesn't want word to get out of what is plaguing the city. Worse, news of my magic might’ve slipped down to the underworld, hitting the ears of some extremely powerful demons.

Hell is being hand-delivered in a rash of federal bombings and random massacres by postal employees across the nation. And CURE's Dr. Harold Smith send Remo and Chiun to root out the cause. The mail carriers, who'd complained they could get no respect, now seem to be competing with the domestic militias to win the horror-and-bloodshed game. They've got a new-and-improved way to deliver death to America's door - until the Destroyer starts biting at their heels.

She calls herself Calexa Rose Dunhill. She has been living - hiding out - in Dunhill Cemetery ever since someone left her there to die. She has no idea who wants her dead or why, but she isn't about to wait around for her would-be killer to finish the job. Despite her self-imposed isolation, Calexa’s ability to see spirits - and the memories she receives from them - guarantees she’ll never be alone, even among the deceased.

When iron clears leather, anything can happen. In Frank Morgan's case, a sudden duel with an assassin has left an innocent woman with a bullet in her back - and a friendship between Frank and a young Texas Ranger in tatters. Wanting to make up for his part in the tragedy, Frank rides to central Texas to help Ranger Tyler Beaumont put down the so-called Fence-Cutting War. But as big ranchers battle small ones, an outlaw gang has hellish plans of its own.

Compassion is a luxury in a brutal land where life is cheap, but Dr. Mildred Wyeth holds fast to her physician's oath to show mercy. Now she's stricken by a plague that brings on a deep craving for human flesh. Unwilling to lose one of their own to this pervasive pestilence without a fight, the companions follow the trail to Cajun country, where the mysterious queen of the Cannies is rumored to possess the only antidote to the grim fate that awaits Mildred...and perhaps her warrior friends.

Archaeologist Annja Creed narrowly escapes an attack by unknown figures when she tries to collect a package near her loft. She later learns that the sender — an old colleague named Fellini — has been brutally murdered. Fellini had been researching the Hammer of Thor, the Norse god of thunder, and had linked it to a Viking warrior and a 12th-century Latvian village. A coded message in Fellini's package leads Annja on a wild chase along the canals of Venice to Latvia for more clues to an ancient treasure.

For the legendary mountain man Preacher, times are lean. Trapping is a thing of the past. Only a handful of men cling to the old ways, trading pelts to a market with little demand. Thus it is that Preacher, along with his old friends Three Sleeps Norris and Antoine Revier, grudgingly accepts a commission from the War Department to act as trail guide and scout for a regiment of Dragoons.

Archaeologist Annja Creed believes there's more to the apparitions of Santo Niño — the Holy Child — luring thousands of pilgrims to Santa Fe. Other sightings of strange and anomalous creatures in the area indicate a mystery more profane than sacred — with links, perhaps, to Annja's own fate. But she is not alone in her quest to separate reliquaries from unholy minds who dare to harness sinister power.

Wise in the ways of a lawless land, the blood brothers deal out their own brand of frontier justice. And when they ride a hot and dusty trail into Texas looking for some excitement, they find it in spades. Big John Lee owns the biggest spread west of the Pecos, but he’s hired a crowd of tough gunners to claim more than his legal share. Bodine and Sam Two Wolves decide to throw their lot in with the men of the Circle S, who were next on John Lee’s land-grabbing list.