It's an ADHD trait that people are starting to talk about as something uniquely part of our executive functioning difficulties. It refers to throwing out our DOOM (Didn't Organize, Only Moved) piles or any amount of clutter because starting or planning the large task of organizing is causing us to be too overwhelmed. Experts agree that this is not the best way to handle our clutter and recommend other strategies which I'll list below. I tell a personal story about when I had to "toss" and how it was a hugely emotional experience but I believe that sometimes, despite knowing intellectually how to get rid of things perfectly, that we have to accept that we have a developmental disorder and allow ourselves this reset if we truly know that we aren't planning to handle things that way again. 🎁❄️ Happy Holidays! Please take me up on this GIFT of one FREE month of Patreon (did I mention FREE?) at Tier 1 giving you access to the entire archive, video episodes, 4 extra episodes per month, body double sessions, and more!

Show Notes:

• Click to Get Jen's Free Guide How To R.I.D.E Out Panic Attacks
• Jen's Monthly Action Club Just $19.99
• You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial
• You Are A Lot Podcast Website & Blog
• Follow Jen's ADHD/AuDHD Tips on Pinterest
• Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: "This Is A Lot"
• "You Are A Lot" Black Tote Bag
• "You Are A Lot" coffee mug & travel mug
• "You Are A Lot" black long-sleeved tee
• 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus!
• Jen's Book Recommendations With 20% Off
• Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com

Sources Used:

• ADHD & Tossing: Private ADHD UK
• Tossing. A Potential Sign of ADHD: Huffington Post
• Tossing The Doom Pile: Global ADHD

In this episode I talk about the constant cycle of burnout, clutter, and resentment that comes with our brain, from tossing bags on the table, leaving yesterday's project out, and then facing the chaos that feels like the FBI searched your home. I talk about why putting things away feels boring, impossible, or like it will take ten hours, and why I get mad at "Past Me" for leaving messes for "Future Me." I share how I stumbled onto something called Clutter Check, a 10–15 minute daily routine that keeps things from piling up. I teach you how to trick your brain into making peace with this ritual by looking at it through a non-neurotypical lens.

🎁❄️ Happy Holidays! Please take me up on this GIFT of one FREE month of Patreon (did I mention FREE?) at Tier 1 giving you access to the entire archive, video episodes, 4 extra episodes per month, body double sessions, and more!

If holiday gift-giving stresses you out, you need to listen to this one. In this episode, I talk about why gifting can be so overwhelming (executive dysfunction, decision fatigue, social pressure) and how to make it easier. I share simple ways to lower the mental load, like using gift categories, anchoring to one idea, and giving yourself permission to give late (or not at all). I also created a few curated, neurodivergent-friendly gift guides to help you shop with less stress. Listen now and take some pressure off your season! Gift Guide Links: Kitsch, Bookshop, Appointed

Jen's Gift Guide Affiliate Links:

• Kitsch
• Bookshop
• Appointed
• Hugimals
• UnHide

Sources Used:

• The Psychology of Gift Giving
• A Quick Guide to Gifting With ADHD
• Understanding the Brain Science Behind Giving/Receiving Gifts
• The Art & Science of Gift Giving

Using shopping for a quick hit of dopamine is definitely an emotional regulation issue, and trying to fill any empty hole in our soul with stuff is a very deep situation. BUT that's not what this episode is about. Sometimes, being organized about how we spend money can bring us into reality where we can clearly see how much we spend (if we overspend) or how quickly we make decisions to spend (if we are impulsive with spending) and from there we can make changes. But we have to get organized first so that we can analyze our habits.

I'm giving some very easy and quick tips for staying organized and accountable to yourself so that you can spend in a way that won't end up causing you stress or debt. 🎁❄️ Happy Holidays! Please take me up on this GIFT of one FREE month of Patreon (did I mention FREE?) at Tier 1 giving you access to the entire archive, video episodes, 4 extra episodes per month, body double sessions, and more!

To get on the waitlist for the lowest price for jen's How to R.I.D.E Out Panic Attacks course click here: Get on the Panic Attack Waitlist

Show Notes:

• Click to Get Jen's Free Guide How To R.I.D.E Out Panic Attacks
• Jen's Monthly Action Club Just $19.99
• You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial
• You Are A Lot Podcast Website & Blog
• Follow Jen's ADHD/AuDHD Tips on Pinterest
• Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: "This Is A Lot"
• "You Are A Lot" Black Tote Bag
• "You Are A Lot" coffee mug & travel mug
• "You Are A Lot" black long-sleeved tee
• 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus!
• Jen's Book Recommendations With 20% Off
• Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com

Sources Used:

• 16 Ways To Better Manage Your Money: ADDitude Magazine
• ADHD Overspending & Impulsivity: ADHD Specialist
• Managing Money & ADHD: CHADD Org

Feeling drained, foggy, or emotionally tapped out during the holidays? You're not alone.

In this episode, you'll learn what empathic burnout is, how it shows up in your body, and why certain times like the holiday season can increase the risk due to higher emotional exposure, shifting routines, and layered relational dynamics. Whether you're neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or just carrying too much, this episode will help you understand why self-compassion is the most powerful (and most misunderstood) tool for recovery. I'll walk you through specific self-compassion strategies like "in for me, out for you" breathing, micro-movements, grounding touch, and internal phrases to help you stay steady especially when you don't have the option to step away. Mindful Self-Compassion For Burnout: Kristen Neff (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org)

SHOW NOTES:

• Mindful Self-Compassion For Burnout: Kristen Neff (20% off with my link to Bookshop)
• Click to Get Jen's Free Guide How To R.I.D.E Out Panic Attacks
• Jen's Monthly Action Club Just $19.99
• You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial
• You Are A Lot Podcast Website & Blog
• Follow Jen's ADHD/AuDHD Tips on Pinterest
• Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: "This Is A Lot"
• "You Are A Lot" Black Tote Bag
• "You Are A Lot" coffee mug & travel mug
• "You Are A Lot" black long-sleeved tee
• 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus!
• 20% off everything on Jen's Holiday Gift Guide Bookshop dot org
• Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com

SOURCES USED:

• Mindful Self-Compassion For Burnout: Kristen Neff (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org)
• The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook: Kristen Neff

Have you ever thought: "Why am I so tired all the time? Why do I feel disconnected, like I'm watching life happen but not really in it?" You probably thought something was wrong with you and didn't consider that it could be a nervous system thing. In this episode: what your nervous system actually does, what "regulation" really means (without cold plunges), and why feeling tired or foggy sometimes is normal even if it's not ideal. And how if you're neurodivergent, your nervous system may function in a more intense way. Get The Nervous System Workbook: by Deb Dana and get 20% off with this link while you support independent bookstores all over America by shopping on Bookshop dot org.

Show Notes:

• The Nervous System Workbook: Deb Dana (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org)
• Click to Get Jen's Free Guide How To R.I.D.E Out Panic Attacks
• Jen's Monthly Action Club Just $19.99
• You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial
• You Are A Lot Podcast Website & Blog
• Follow Jen's ADHD/AuDHD Tips on Pinterest
• Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: "This Is A Lot"
• "You Are A Lot" Black Tote Bag
• "You Are A Lot" coffee mug & travel mug
• "You Are A Lot" black long-sleeved tee
• 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus!
• Jen's Book Recommendations With 20% Off
• Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com

Sources Used:

• The Autistic & ADHD Nervous System: Article by Dr. Kristen Neff
• Heal Your Nervous System: Dr. Linnea Passaler (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org )
• Polyvagal Prompts: Deb Dana (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org )
• The Nervous System Workbook: Deb Dana (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org )
• Glimmers Journal: Deb Dana (20% off with this link to Bookshop dot org )

Panic attacks and autistic meltdowns share some common symptoms but happen for different reasons. A panic attack is a short circuit in the nervous system and not a total sensory overload, while an autistic meltdown isn't out of nowhere — it's a total nervous system overload based on external triggers. If you are AuDHD and have panic attacks, being able to tell the difference between these two experiences is important because they need different responses. I talk about how to respond to both in this episode. If you want to learn how to handle panic attacks so that they no longer control your life, I'm teaching a three-session webinar in January 2026 about how to R.I.D.E. out panic attacks. Get on the waitlist so that you'll get the first chance to sign up at a huge discount. https://www.jenkirkman.com/waitlist/

SHOW NOTES

• Click to Get Jen's Free Guide How To R.I.D.E Out Panic Attacks
• Get on the Waitlist For Jen's How To R.I.D.E. Out Panic Course
• Jen's Monthly Action Club Just $19.99
• You Are A Lot Podcast On Patreon 7 Day Free Trial
• You Are A Lot Podcast Website
• Jen's Every 10 Day Newsletter: "This Is A Lot"
• Follow Jen's ADHD/AuDHD Tips on Pinterest
• 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus!
• Hope & Help For Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes 20% off this book
• Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com

SOURCES FOR THIS EPISODE:

• Coping With Panic Attacks
• Rula: Treating Anxiety Disorders
• Rula: Autism/Overstimulation
• Inertia, Meltdown, Autism - NIH
• Reduce Sensory Overstimulation - Science Direct
• Emotional Flashback Management - Pete Walker
• Hope & Help For Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes