Episodios

  • 000: Welcome to Who Am I Really?

    000: Welcome to Who Am I Really?
    Mar 4 2017
    I’m devoting this program dedicated to helping people placed into adoption to explore their own emotions, desires, and questions about reuniting with their biological family by asking others like us to tell their own true stories. I’m so thankful for the life that my adopted parents gave me, but I also had the incredibly good fortune to be reunited with my biological mother in 2009. Our story is amazing to me because our reunification unfolded in a way that I never could have predicted. However everyone’s search and discovery journey is different and we’ll share an array of stories in this podcast.Read Full TranscriptDamon: 00:09 Hi, I’m Damon Davis and I’m launching a new podcast series called, Who Am I Really? I’m devoting this program to helping people placed into adoption to explore their own emotions, desires, and questions about reuniting with their biological family by asking others like us to tell their own true stories. You’re probably asking yourself who I am and why I launched this podcast. First, let me say, I grew up in a very loving home with my adoptive mother, Veronica, supported by my adoptive father, Willy they’re just mom and dad to me, and I love them dearly for everything they did, large and small. That gave me the opportunities to be the man that I am today, but I also had the incredibly good fortune to be reunited with my biological mother in 2009. Our story is amazing to me because our reunification unfolded in a way that I never could have predicted.Damon: 01:04 A few things happened to me that really sparked my desire to search. One of the first influences happened during a visit with my inlaws in Baltimore, Maryland. My wife’s distant aunt welcomed us into her home one day. This lovely elderly woman opened the door, greeted us, toting her small wheeled oxygen tank behind her. As we sat in her living room, she spread pictures, newspaper clippings and letters on the coffee table. She told stories about the family’s history in a way that only she could recount them as what I viewed as the unofficial family historian, but that experience made me realize that one day she would no longer be with us and if another person tried to spread the same family historical facts in the same way they could not tell the family story the way that she had. It dawned on me that when she passed away, the ability to weave the family history that she knew would be lost and I should act quickly if I didn’t want the same to happen in my biological family.Damon: 02:07 When I decided to launch the search, my social worker in Baltimore shared something from her experience that I hadn’t thought about before. She said that women tend to search for their family of origin sooner than men do and that men search most often after they’ve had their own children. That was me. A short time after my wife gave birth to our son, I was at home alone with him, gazing on him with sheer amazement at this little dude we had created. He laid there on his back, kicked his legs, and waved his arms and stared up at me. In that moment by ourselves, I whispered to Seth with tears in my eyes, you’re the first blood relative I have ever known. As I talked to more people about their stories of searching and discovery, I’ve learned so much about each individual and about the commonalities between of us as adoptees.Damon: 03:00 We have basic questions about how we came to be, what happened with my biological mother and father when I was conceived? Why couldn’t they take care of me themselves when I was born? What was the story of my adoption? We tried to figure it out for ourselves by imagining all kinds of scenarios for why our parents made the choice to place us into adoption. We tried to figure it out for ourselves by imagining all kinds of scenarios for why our biological parents made the choice to place us into adoption, but it’s almost impossible to form a complete picture about yourself if you don’t know your own personal history. The puzzle has too many missing pieces. I’ve learned that some adoptees live with significant doubt about how much they were truly accepted by their adoptive parents. Some question, their place in their family among biological siblings, multiple adoptees, interracial families, or a mix of religious beliefs.Damon: 03:56 Others live well adjusted lives of doting parental love, but still feel a longing to understand their biological past like I did. Whether a child grows up well adjusted in a loving family or was reared in a less favorable home, they will likely have questions about their ...
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    9 m
  • 001- The End of Summer Cake

    001- The End of Summer Cake
    Mar 25 2017
    I’ve shared an adoptee bond with my dear high school friend Andre for years. In this episode, Andre shares the story of his loving adopted family, being the older sibling to his adopted parent’s biological son, and the truth about how he came into this world. His biological mother never forgot him and honored his life every year.Andre: 00:02 You go up to the judge, she has my case. She opens this Manila folder and I was like, there it is, like I'm this close. So then she proceeds to go through and she says that, you know, I have information here but you can't have it.Voices: 00:23 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon: 00:34 This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on today's show I was lucky to be joined by my old friend Andre. We've known one another for more than 25 years, going back to high school and at that time as young men, we both discovered that the other was adopted too and we were instantly connected. In our conversation, you'll hear some of that old school brotherly love, but you'll also hear some really poignant moments when the fact that he's an adoptee was revealed to his brother and the difficult news he learned about how he came into the world.Damon: 01:21 First, Andre, I want to welcome you to the show. Thanks for coming.Andre: 01:23 Thank you for having me, Damon.Damon: 01:24 So glad you could do it. So tell me a little bit about your family growing up. Just start from the beginning as a young guy, tell me a little bit about you.Andre: 01:34 I grew up in Framingham, Massachusetts. Great parents, father was retired military. Um, mom was an HR salesman for digital equipment corporation. I have a younger brother, three years younger.Damon: 01:47 What's his name?Andre: 01:47 Jason. Jason is his name. We had a great life. I had no idea that my story would unfold the way it did growing up with such great parents.Damon: 01:59 Yeah. You and Jason were close?Andre: 02:01 Very close.Damon: 02:02 And is Jason adopted also?Andre: 02:04 He is not, he's my parents' biological child.Damon: 02:06 So he's biological and you're adopted. And how was that?Andre:
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    33 m
  • 003 – When the Search Finds You

    003 – When the Search Finds You
    Apr 8 2017
    Kathleen grew up with five siblings, and they were all biologically related to her parents–she was the only adoptee! As a child she was told that she was adopted, but it didn’t quite sink in until the topic of adoption came up in conversation and her mother reminded her, “you’re adopted too.” But what blew my mind was how the search for her first family wasn’t originated by her, her family found her and knew exactly where to lookThe post 003 – When the Search Finds You appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Kathleen: 00:00 You meet people your whole life. You meet friends, you meet new family members, people are born, people die, but meeting someone who is your actual biological parent after you're already, you know, at this point I was 18 years old is a very, very strange thing.Voices: 00:19 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon: 00:30 This is "Who Am I, Really" a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on today's show. I'm joined by Kathleen. Her journey as an adoptee is amazing because while she wanted to search for her family of origin, the search actually came to her at a very young age. You're not going to believe how Kathleen's story unfolded and you'll hear just how fortunate she feels for how things turned out.Damon: 01:09 I appreciate you taking time to do the show. Take me back to the beginning. I know you and I talked a little bit before, but take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about your background, about growing up, where you were and what your community was like, what your family was like and your, your family structure.Kathleen: 01:26 Okay. So I was raised mostly in Racine, Wisconsin, and I was the youngest of six children. Uh, it was a big Irish Catholic family and I was the only of the six to be adopted actually.Damon: 01:40 Wow. So you had five biologicals and you were the sole adoptee.Kathleen: 01:45 Right, exactly.Damon: 01:47 So how was it?Kathleen: 01:47 I was raised in a very, you know, culturally Irish family I would say. And what I always thought, looking back, what was so interesting about is the fact that I never, until I really knew that I was adopted, recognized the difference in our appearance, which to me today is very obvious. I mean, I, I have darker skin and darker complexion and they all look very, very Irish and have the, you know, the reddish hair and the freckles and green eyes. And I didn't have that at all. And when I was growing up, I just didn't notice it, which really says a lot about what children do and do not see as they're, as they're young.Damon: 02:21 Absolutely. Yeah, I totally understand that. We just are kind of blinded to the differences between us because we're all kids and it's only when we get to be adults and we're taught what our differences might be that we really start to recognize them. So true. So now tell me a little bit about when you discovered you were adopted or when you were told, how did that go down in your family?Kathleen: 02:41 So I talked to my mom about this not long ago and I asked her when she told me I was adopted because I remember her telling me when I was nine years old. And she very, very much remembers telling me earlier. But I think the way that she told me was not very direct, it was sort of in a story type way, not the, you know, Kathleen, I'm sitting you down today to tell you you're adopted, but you know, making references to adoption or making references to things that I guess as a kid I just didn't pick up on. And so when I, when I was nine years old, I remember having a conversation with my older brother and we were talking about someone else who was adopted and my mom threw out, you're adopted. And I was absolutely stunned.Damon:
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    26 m
  • 005 – Part of Her Memory That She Lost Was Me

    005 – Part of Her Memory That She Lost Was Me
    Apr 22 2017
    Terry shared the story of his biological parents’ wartime extra marital affair that brought him to life. He said his adopted parents felt he was “the sun the moon and the stars”, and spoiled him that way. As a teen, Terry wanted to apply for a job and needed his birth certificate from his parents. But that simple request worried his mother deeply about her place in his heart because she thought he was beginning a search for his biological family. He didn’t connect with his biological mother until his own parents were in failing health, but what an emotional day it was when he did finally meet his first mom!The post 005 – Part of Her Memory That She Lost Was Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Terry: 00:02 My Mom, her dad are dying and I'm going to beat my birth mother for the first time and my two half sisters that I've never met before. So I pulled up and Mary came out and we hug, but she was very, I don't want to say distant, but she certainly wasn't real warm.Voices: 00:27 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon: 00:34 Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on the show today is Terry who located his biological family at a time before the Internet allowed easy searches for facts and information. He was born in the 1940s a time of war for our country, but it's also when his story begins and his journey, you'll hear about his path to learning who he is in so many ways and a very emotional day that he met his biological mother for the first time. I've been really excited to talk to you since Carmen may the introduction, so thanks for making time. Tell me a little bit about your childhood and your community, a little bit about your family and just generally how you grew up as an adoptee.Terry: 01:26 Well, um, my parents had tried to, uh, have a child for like nine years and they were unsuccessful. They had a good friend. My mom's best friend, um, had a boarder in her house who's husband had gone to war and, uh, she was having an affair and I was the result of that affair. So when her husband came home, uh, he was pretty upset about the fact that she was pregnant and my moms friend knew that they'd been trying to have a kid, so they worked it out that I could be adopted by..Damon: 02:06 Wow.Terry: 02:06 Anyhow, Clarence and Charlotte were the only parents that I ever knew. They were wonderful parents in one respect, except that they were over over protective. I mean, they did not go anywhere without me for the first six years of my life, I was never outside of my mom or dads vision, you know. But I adapted to it and it was, it was okay, but you know, one o the classic examples I give is that Christmas really doesn't mean all that much to me anymore because when I was, I don't know, five or six, I came out of my bedroom and the entire living room floor was covered with packages and they only have my name on it and I just thought life was supposed to be, you know, and uh, my cousins always remark about the fact of how spoiled I was and how, you know, my mom just doted on me and all of that stuff. I didn't know anything different. I didn't know the world was any different than that. I didn't know that there were, I didn't know there was evil in the world. I didn't know there was, you know, I mean, I was so incredibly protected because I was the sun and the moon and the stars for them.Terry: 03:16 Now they told me from when I was a young child that I was adopted. I mean, there was a period of time, till I was 18 that we really didn't discuss that at all. My mom, when I was going through puberty, my mom was going through menopause. Oh, that was just a horrible time. It was just a horrible time. But we were, yeah, we were always fairly close, except she couldn't, accept.. Really she wanted me to be a doctor. She wanted me to be an MD and nothing else would work. And I went away to college. And so I flunked out of Denison University after a semester and a half, and she was just devastated. And then I went to Kent State and I was there for the massacres, unfortunately on May 4th.Damon: 04:01 Oh no.Terry: 04:01 Um, yeah, yeah, it was, uh, probably one of the things that changed my life ...
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    22 m
  • 006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born

    006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born
    Apr 29 2017
    In adoption, Julie grew up in the Midwest with a family of trans racial adoptees. Her brothers are adopted from Vietnam, and her sister is white. Each of them has a different perspective on searching for their biological families. Julie has always been curious. She told me that in the moments after her son was born and he was placed in her arms, she could forgive her biological mother, and release the anger she previously felt about her rejection. In that moment, she clearly understood the everlasting bond of a mother to her child.The post 006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Julie (00:00):Yeah. When I had my son, like the moment I gave birth to him, I will say like the second he was placed in my arm and my first thought was at my birth mom and I just, I, I let go of all the anger.Voices (00:21):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (00:32):This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and in this show. I had the great pleasure of catching up with my old friend Julie. We met over 10 years ago and as it often happens with me, we bonded over being adoptees, but she was already seeking her biological family and had been at it for a long time when we met. When we first knew one another, she had located her family of origin and her social worker had been in touch with them, but for some reason they had not actually made the connection. Julie moved away so I never got to hear what happened next for her. I've wondered about Julie for years. So today she finally satisfied my curiosity.Damon (01:17):Thank you so much for taking time to join me for this. I have been so excited to talk to you for like years. Honestly. I mean, you'll recall you and I first met back. What was that?Julie (01:29):2003. Yep.Damon (01:29):We bonded over being adoptees. I recall one of the conversations that we had around the fact that you had begun to search for your biological family. So I'm really excited to hear the update because I, I've honestly, I've thought about you off and on for years wondering how your story unfolded. So I, I can't wait to get to the end, but for right now, what I'd love for you to do is just take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about, you know, how you grew up, where you grew up, what your family structure was like, and just generally how it was being an adoptee in your family.Julie (02:07):Sure. So I was born in Chicago and, and immediately placed into foster care because my birth mom knew that she wasn't going to keep me. And I'll give you some backstory and a little bit of on that side of the family. But in my, um, in my adoptive family, which I typically just refer to as my family, um, I'm the fourth, I'm the youngest, I'm the baby and I'm the fourth child and all four of the kids in my family are adopted. And so my oldest sister is white. And then my brother, my next oldest brother is, uh, black and Vietnamese. And then I have a brother who's Vietnamese and probably something else. Um, we're not entirely sure. Both of them were, uh, both of them were, were they, I mean the Vietnamese war orphans and so we don't have accurate records on them and that includes like their age, their accurate birthdays. Um, so they were given records most likely as kids who already passed, which is typical. And so thenDamon (03:12):Thy were transferred records, they basically have someone else's records, you think?Julie (03:15):Yes.Damon (03:16):Wow.Julie (03:16):Yeah, because so because, um, so this is a story that's like, you know, part of our family folklore. But, um, when my older brother came over and was finally having like, you know, immediately had his first doctor visit, the doctor was very clear with my parents that this child was at least six to nine months older than the age that they had reported to him, that they had been told.Damon (03:37):wow.Julie (03:38):Um, malnourished. Certainly him, both of my brothers were a malnourished when they came, um, and, and uh, and sick and so probably older than their actual years and maybe not a full year older, but definitely not that birthday that we have for them. Um, and so then, so they had those, those three, and they're kind of, they're stairstep and they're, I think between like five and eight years older than me. And then it came time and my parents decided that they wanted to adopt again and again, like family folklore, there was a little girl in Dallas, Texas, and then there was me in Chicago.Julie (04:12):And, um, my brother, my oldest brother, Jeff, is the one who decided that we should adopt me because we needed more brown skin in the family.Damon (04:21):Ah, that's so cute!Julie (04:21):Um, yeah. Yeah. And so actually my first picture, um, that I keep on my fridge is that my brother Jeff holding me.Damon (04:29):Oh, that's really awesome.Julie (04:29):On the day ...
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    45 m
  • 010 – How Can I Meet Her Without Telling Her Who I Am?

    010 – How Can I Meet Her Without Telling Her Who I Am?
    May 27 2017
    Steve was raised in Baltimore, MD in a predominantly Jewish suburban neighborhood. But as he looked around at his friends and other families, he truly questioned his own identity, especially as an adoptee. In an era before electronic record keeping, Steve used his street savvy to buy the information he needed about himself in order to advance his search for his biological family. More crafty thinking led Steve right to his biological mother’s front door. He wanted to meet her, but not necessarily reveal that he was her son. He knocked on her door with a story that should have gotten him sent on his way. Instead she invited him in! Just wait until you hear his crafty approach to introducing himself to his biological mother, and the truth about his European heritage.The post 010 – How Can I Meet Her Without Telling Her Who I Am? appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Steve (00:04):My biggest question to my parents who raised me was always, are you sure? Are you 100% sure that I'm Jewish? And I'm looking in the mirror, I'm thinking, I don't look like anybody in this neighborhood. Yeah, I knew I wasn't Jewish and I wanted to know what my background was.Voices (00:27):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (00:38):This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it's Damon and today you're going to hear Steve's journey. He has family history in Baltimore, Maryland, but his biological roots go back to Chicago, Illinois. Steve says that he was a bit of a juvenile delinquent when he was a teen and quite the opposite of his siblings, one who was a jock, the other who was a scholar, but it turned out those street skills and crafty thinking were just the tools he needed to locate and connect with his biological mother. I can't wait until you hear just how he did it.Damon (01:18):Steve, I'm super glad to be connected to you, man. I appreciate you accepting the invitation to chat a little bit. You've got quite an amazing story, but I'd love for you to take me back to your early childhood. Tell me about what it was like in your family as an adoptee, what your structure was like and your family and what your community was like and how you fit into the community as an adoptee.Steve (01:42):Perfect. Yeah, I'll start off was saying, you know, my adoptive parents, I'll start off with them, uh, to give you a little idea why they even went the adoption routes, but they, they were a Jewish couple. Uh, they were married in the late forties. They decided to start a family probably somewhere around 1950, 51, and they obviously could not conceive. So, um, they decided to go the adoption route. Okay. Then what makes this whole story interesting is that my parents were Jewish and they wanted to adopt a Jewish baby. So I'm thinking to myself, what are the odds on them finding a bunch of Jewish babies out there in this world? How do you even go about that? That's what they wanted because they wanted to stick with it, you know, their religious tradition and raise a child Jewish and things like that. So I was actually born in Chicago.Steve (02:36):My parents were from Baltimore, so that's where the thing gets kind of weird. Uh, what they did was they got an attorney up in Baltimore who knew of a rabbi who knew of a rabbi in Chicago who knew an attorney over there that had access to people that were Jewish and looking to put babies up for adoption into a Jewish family, if you can follow that. So about six years later, around 1977 they get a phone call, there's a baby girl available, which is my older sister. Year and a half later, they get a phone call that there was a baby available in Chicago, fly out to Chicago, and there was me coming home three days later.Damon (03:20):So the Jewish community gets together and through connections establishes a network by which to presumably Jewish babies can arrive in a Jewish family in Baltimore.Steve (03:33):Environment. Correct.Damon (03:33):Gotcha. Okay.Steve (03:34):Correct. So fast forward a little bit. A couple years later in 1962 my parents were able to have a biological son, which is pretty normal. They say sometimes parents that cannot conceive then all of a sudden they can. But basically in the 60s growing up in the rambles town area of Baltimore County was like, our environment was like the show leave at the Beaver. It was really, it was just, you know, a brand new suburban area. I grew up in a, in a 100% Jewish neighborhood. There must have been 115 homes in my neighborhood and every single one of them was Jewish.Damon (04:13):Mhmm an enclave. The community. Yeah.Steve (04:17):Well it was pretty much just like any other family in the neighborhood. I quite frankly, I didn't realize I was adopted until I was the age of six. Um, there's only a couple of things I can really remember, uh, before the year 1964 and that was John F. Kennedy getting shot and the day my mother ...
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    45 m
  • 012 – I Need This For My Sanity

    012 – I Need This For My Sanity
    Jun 10 2017
    Tom advocates for adoptee rights and shares his personal experiences about being adopted. He was adopted as an infant and things went so well his parents decided to adopt two older boys when Tom was two years old. Their adoption is where his trouble started. Life became chaotic in their home because the older boys were difficult for his parents to control. Tom was feeling sidelined. Sadly, one of the older boys sexually abused him resulting in issues he’s dealt with most of his life. Searching to repair his past he sought counseling, connected with his biological mother, and tracked down his biological father. But Tom was never quite able to gain the sense of belonging he was searching for.The post 012 – I Need This For My Sanity appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Tom (00:03):You know, I knew more and more it was him. Wrote a third letter and basically said, look, I'm not after your money. I'm not looking to disturb your family, but I, I need this for my own sanity. I need to, I need to know and, and I'd like to meet you if I can.Voices (00:25):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (00:36):This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on the show today, I'm joined by Tom. Tom advocates for adoptee rights and shares his personal experiences about being adopted online. He shared with me that he was adopted as an infant and things went so well that his parents decided to adopt two older boys when he was two, but that's when the trouble started. He says, life became chaotic in their home because the other boys were difficult for his parents to control leaving Tom feeling sidelined, resulting in issues he dealt with his entire life ever since. Searching to repair his past, he sought counseling, connected with his biological mother and tracked down his biological father, but Tom was never quite able to gain the sense of belonging he was searching for.Damon (01:29):Tom, thanks for taking time to talk to me this morning. I appreciate it.Tom (01:33):Absolutely.Damon (01:34):Now I've been seeing some of the thought leaders that are out there and your name continues to come up as somebody who's advocating for a lot of adoptee rights and you're a prolific writer about your own feelings and your own story.Tom (01:48):Oh, not a problem at all. I do the writing to try to help others and we'll see how that goes.Damon (01:54):Yeah, yeah, it's helpful for me to read some of your thoughts and some of your experiences. I appreciate the fact that you sort of consistently write about different themes from forgiveness to consideration of the father and a biological family and you know, so many other topics. So thank you for your leadership in this space as well.Tom (02:13):I appreciate that.Damon (02:14):Sure. So I would love for you to take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about your life as an adoptee. As a young child, what it was like in your family, your community and uh, and how things were growing up for you.Tom (02:28):Sure. Well, to start, I think it started out well and was well intended. I was adopted at the age of three months back in 1971. I guess I was my parents pride and joy. Things went well for them. In fact, so well that they decided that they were going to adopt two older boys, uh, when I was two years old. So those boys came in, they were two and four years older than, than me. And immediately the house became chaotic. It wasn't really clear what was happening with them and their foster home, they were actually in the same foster home. They were not biological brothers, but they came as a package to us.Damon (03:15):Interesting. So just for clarity real quick, you were the sole child in your family until these new adoptees came in. So you went from being number one and the, the sole focus to like being number three, you're now the youngest, is that right?Tom (03:33):Exactly. Which was very, very odd. It really kind of turned my world upside down.Damon (03:40):I can imagine.Tom (03:41):So, you know, life became chaotic. I do remember, as a matter of fact, I think I remember on the first day that uh, my middle brother complaining about the food and you know, wanting to go back to where he was and things were just very, became very uncertain almost overnight. Time went on a little bit and as we got a little older, it became more and more chaotic.Damon (04:10):What...
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    39 m
  • 019 – Adoption Was Chapter Two Of My Life, I Had To Learn About Chapter One

    019 – Adoption Was Chapter Two Of My Life, I Had To Learn About Chapter One
    Jul 29 2017
    Michael grew up in Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY. He led a comfortable life in the Williams loving home when he accidentally discovered, at 12 years old, that he was adopted. The discovery that he actually had another identity created conflict in him, especially during his teen aged years.With spontaneity, tenacity, and a fair bit of luck Michael was able to track down the phone number for a long lost cousin in NY. She sounded the alarm to the family that Michael had found her, and a series of holiday season reunions ensued. But his reunification was not without its resentment. Over the course of two decades he satisfied his curiosity to uncover every detail he could about who he really is. It was an emotional journey of discovery that led him all they way to his family’s roots in the South.The post 019 – Adoption Was Chapter Two Of My Life, I Had To Learn About Chapter One appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Michael (00:02):The only thing I can think of was like going to the motherland. America is a nation of still with immigrants, but there is a mother country, ancestrally speaking, so whether you are going to come from Poland, Ireland, Africa or wherever. When you go back to those things, there's something grounding, something that anchors you and it did for me because I'm looking at this woman. I'm like my life story begin with this woman. It all started in her womb.Voices (00:38):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (00:49):This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, I'm Damon Davis on today's show. I'm joined by Michael who grew up in Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York. Michael was living a comfortable life in the Williams loving home when he accidentally discovered that he was adopted at 12 years old. The discovery that he actually had, another identity created conflict in him during his teenage years. With spontaneity, tenacity, and a fair bit of luck, Michael was able to track down the phone number for a long lost cousin in New York. Over the course of two decades, he satisfied his curiosity to uncover every detail he could about who he really is. It was an emotional journey of discovery all the way to his family's roots in the South. We pick up Michael's journey at the beginning, as a child. Michael was raised with six siblings, some biological to each other and many foster children who moved in and out of their home over the years. His parents cultivated a family environment for everyone, including him.Michael (02:05):In my world, I, I always, you know, thought that I was born in Brooklyn. That was my starting point and of course later on, I discovered that I had adopted into the family, but I was, I started as before as the Williams foster child and my adoption, wasn't made final until I was six years old. Even at that point, there was never any differentiation between, Oh these are the biological children, oh these are the adopted children, oh these are the foster children. Cause, I mean, growing up in a household, dad was still with foster kids coming in and out, not ever realizing that I had was in their shoes.Damon (02:47):Interesting.Michael (02:49):My parents did a really good job. It was an environment of openness and there was this sense of a family cohesion is that even though with the foster kids that were coming in and out, it was just a part of everyday life for us. That whole family environment was cultivated by both my father and my mother simply because that was the only child, his name, and yet I say this to honor my father because he's deceased freedom and black Williams, he was the only child and he never knew his father and there was an incredible burden in his heart to be a father to the fatherless. What I later discovered was that he actually had fostered nearly 65 inner city children.Damon (03:37):Wow. That's, that's a open-heart man. That's really incredible. So you were, you were made to feel so comfortable that it took you a while to figure out that at one point you had been a foster child who was in transition to another place. That's interesting. What did you think when you realized that?Michael (03:58):When I, well, the day that I realized that I had been adopted, I was about 12 or 13 years old and it turned everything on its head because it was confusing. It was confusing to me because I didn't understand why that information was withheld. Everything just kind of came out in an unexpected way. I'm mean, I was, I had, I was looking through the family photo albums and I discovered the summer day camp certificate of completion and it said Michael Harth and I was like somebody made a huge mistake and mom never caught, how could she not have caught this very noticeable mistake? I'm not Michael Harth, who is Michael Harth? I'm Michael Williams. I've always been Michael Williams. So then when I brought upstairs to go find my mother about it...
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