What happens when your deepest fear hijacks your most important connections? In this honest and revealing episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia and JJ get real about the ways tokophobia—the severe fear of pregnancy and childbirth—can quietly sabotage both romantic and platonic relationships. From silent avoidance to heartbreak, and from stalled intimacy to friendship breakdowns, this episode shines a compassionate (but bold) light on where reproductive anxiety actually starts pulling the strings in our personal lives.

Packed with lived experience and practical insight—not just theory—you’ll hear how phobia-fuelled decision-making can shape (and sometimes shatter) relationships, why this fear is so much more than “cold feet about parenthood,” and what it actually takes to break the cycle. This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt “stuck” and wondered: is it me, or is it the fear talking?

Key Discussion Points:

• How tokophobia can silently steer major life decisions and relationship conversations, often without us realising it

• The heartbreaking reality of marriages and partnerships failing because of unrecognised (and unspoken) fears

• What happens when the “baby conversation” never happens—and the ripple effect on intimacy, planning, and connection

• The knock-on impact of tokophobia on friendships—why those with reproductive anxiety often drift from friends starting families

• Family dynamics, judgement, and the all-too-familiar “But when are you having kids?” pressure

• The difference between emotional and physical intimacy—and how phobia can quietly block true connection

• Why it’s not a conscious choice: the battle between what you think you want and what fear actually allows

• What happens when fear, not desire, is in the driver’s seat—and the inner “flip-flopping” agony that creates

• The critical need for early healing and the hope that comes from naming, addressing, and systematically healing tokophobia

• Reframing tokophobia in the wider context of Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD), with references to ground-breaking resources like The Case for RAD white paper

• Why healing is possible at any age, but earlier intervention can change lives

Who Is This Episode For?

This episode is a must-listen if:

• You constantly feel torn about having children and can’t tell if it’s fear or simply your true preference

• You’re trapped in relationship avoidance or find your partnerships struggling over “the kids question”

• You’re watching friendships or family connections cool off as everyone else enters parenthood…and you just can’t face it (or them)

• You’ve ever felt waves of shame, anxiety, or guilt around your place in your relationships, but can’t quite explain why

• You’re searching for hope, real talk, and resources to understand what might actually help—not fluffy tips or clinical detachment

Whether you want to heal, find understanding, or simply feel less alone, Alexia and JJ offer insight, humour, and an unvarnished look at life with (and beyond) tokophobia. If you suspect fear is making too many calls in your love life—or you’re silently aching to be heard—this episode hands you the torch.

On this candid episode of Tik-Tokophobia, JJ and Alexia sit down with renowned phobia specialist Christopher Paul Jones (Harley Street, “Face Your Fears” author) for an eye-opening deep dive into what really differentiates fear, phobia, and anxiety — especially when it comes to tokophobia, the often-misunderstood and rarely named terror of pregnancy and childbirth.

Together, they break down the myths, name the hidden patterns, and shine a light on why the ‘fear of the fear’ might be the real root so many professionals (and sufferers) overlook.

Christopher brings years of clinical and practical insight—plus a healthy scepticism — to questions that women with tokophobia are often too ashamed or confused to ask out loud.

If you’ve ever wondered why your anxiety feels “different”, why so many phobia treatments fall flat, or whether you’re secretly harbouring a birth-related fear you can barely name, this episode will feel like a lifeline.

What’s covered in this episode:

• The real difference between fear, phobia, and anxiety (and why tokophobia is so much more than “just a fear”)

• How anxiety, trauma, and reproductive experiences like puberty, pregnancy, and birth weave together to shape our deepest anxieties

• Why so many people don’t realise they have tokophobia until they’re staring at a pregnancy test — and how society helps keep it invisible

• The “roots” of these fears: is it one big event, or a whole cluster of experiences? Why looking for a single ‘root cause’ may keep you stuck

• The overlap between reproductive anxiety and bite-sized phobias (emetephobia, fear of medical settings, fear of losing control)

• The hidden shame, guilt, and self-judgement that keep women (and men) silent about reproductive fears—and why naming them changes everything

• Breakthrough approaches for long-held anxiety: why “if it can be learnt in a split second, it can shift quickly too”

• Chris’s expert take on “phobophobia” — the fear of fear itself — and what to do if you’re terrified of your own reactions

• The bigger message: why naming, voicing, and finding community around tokophobia can be transformative

This episode is for you if…

• You struggle with the fear of pregnancy, childbirth, or anything around the idea of becoming a parent — no matter how “irrational” it feels

• You’ve experienced major anxiety or panic when confronted with pregnancy, hospitals, birth stories, or even the pressure of the “biological clock”

• You’re a birthworker, therapist, or health professional wanting real insights into reproductive anxiety and how to talk to clients who feel shut down by fear

• You’re desperate for answers about why therapy hasn’t worked, why you “can’t get to the root”, and what actually helps heal these patterns for good

You’re not weird, and you’re not alone. Join us for a powerfully honest conversation that could finally help you name your fear, understand your story, and take the next brave step towards healing.

Find more resources at TikTokophobia.com, and check out our white papers (“Fear Sells (But It Doesn’t Serve)” and “The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder”) if you want a deeper dive into the research behind these discussions.

Tokophobia Healing Journey — What Real Tokophobia Recovery Really Looks Like

Struggling with the fear of pregnancy, birth, or motherhood? You’re not alone, and you’re definitely not crazy.

In this episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia and JJ dig deep into what the healing journey from tokophobia actually looks like — from the messy first steps to the tough questions nobody wants to ask, all the way to a place of clarity and real choice. Expect honesty, hope, and plenty of “me too!” moments.

Key Discussion Points:

• What sets tokophobia apart from “normal” birth anxiety, and why naming it is the first — and often hardest — step.

• The different starts of the healing journey: figuring out if your fear is tokophobia, what triggers it, and how self-awareness unfolds for each person.

• The impact of “the ticking clock”: societal, partner, and self-pressure to have children, and how this shapes women’s decision-making.

• How tokophobia shows up in relationships: the strain it places on intimacy, sex, and even decisions about staying together.

• Stages of the healing process: confronting pregnancy, birth, decisions around trying to conceive, and even the aftermath (including managing disappointment, relief, or ambivalence).

• Radical honesty about choices: why making decisions about motherhood from a place of fear is so common, and what it takes to move beyond fear into genuine choice.

• Tokophobia beyond childbirth: exploring how unhealed reproductive fear can limit your creativity, visibility, and overall wellbeing — even after menopause.

• Why professionals get it wrong: how the lack of medical and therapeutic understanding leaves women unsupported, along with resources to help advocate for yourself.

• Useful tools and resources: practical steps, including the tokophobia assessment, the Reproductive Anxiety Disorder white paper, and finding therapists trained to help.

Who This Episode Is For:

If you…

• Feel anxious — even panicked — at the thought of pregnancy or birth

• Are stuck between your own fears and what your partner, family, or society expects of you

• Have put off deciding about children because something deeper holds you back

• Worry you’ll regret your choices or feel you can’t access your true feelings

• Wish you could know what your fear even is, let alone how to heal it

• Are looking for honest, proof-it-works stories and real solutions — not shallow advice

…then this episode is for you. We’re here to show you that healing is possible, support is real, and you absolutely deserve a future that isn’t dictated by fear.

For resources and further support, visit us at the Tik-Tokophobia website for assessments, white papers, and practitioner info. Your clarity starts here.

This episode of Tik-Tokophobia is a truly groundbreaking one. Alexia and JJ make history by naming two central — but until now, unnamed — experiences of living with tokophobia and Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD).

If you’ve ever struggled to find the words to describe what it’s actually like to face the gut-punch of a pregnancy test, or the collapse that can follow, you’ll find this conversation both validating and empowering.

Drawing on personal stories, client experiences, and a touch of Douglas Adams-inspired word-creation, this episode is about reclaiming language — and with it, our power to heal.

Key Discussion Points:
• The urgent need for language: why “panic attack” and “burnout” have cultural weight, but tokophobia’s most visceral moments have stayed nameless — until now
• The origin of “dilina” and “cass”: how Alexia and JJ developed new words to describe the fork-in-the-road realisation (dilinia) and the breaking, collapse, or gut-punch of reproductive anxiety (cass)
• Personal stories: both hosts share their “two lines moment”, the intense emotions that followed, and how not having words made it harder to seek support or even acknowledge what was happening
• The power of naming: how putting words to these hidden experiences can help you move out of isolation, seek understanding, and finally begin to heal
• The messy reality of reproductive anxiety: why every woman’s journey is different, and why some might only relate to one of these moments — or both
• Why tokophobia is nothing like a classic phobia (e.g., spiders, flying) and why the current definitions are failing women
• Why creating new language isn’t just a creative exercise — it’s an act of collective validation and community care
• Stories from listeners and clients who immediately recognised themselves in “dilinia” and “cass” — proving just how needed this conversation is
• A call to share: listeners are invited to talk about their own moments, using these new words, so fewer women feel alone or “broken”

This Episode Is For You If…

• You’ve experienced overwhelming fear or dread of pregnancy, birth, or even the idea of motherhood — and found it impossible to explain to anyone else

• You’ve ever felt an internal “break” or collapse, but had no words for it

• You’re a professional, loved one, or partner trying to understand what tokophobia or reproductive anxiety actually feels like from the inside

• You want real language — not platitudes — to talk about your mental health, advocate for care, or find support

• You’re craving a sense of normalcy and community; to know that you’re not alone, not “crazy,” and that healing is possible

Outcome:
By the end of this episode, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what it means to live with reproductive anxiety, two new words (“dilinia” and “cass”) to help you speak about your experience, and a reminder that having language is the first step to healing and support.

If you’re tired of feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood — this one’s for you.

— If this resonates, please share the episode or reach out to us with your dilinia or cass moment.

Find more support, free resources, and our foundational white papers (“Fear Sells...” and “The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder”) at www.tik-tokophobia.com

Is the fear of pregnancy and childbirth taking over your life — or leaving you feeling completely alone and broken?

In this episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia sits down with Ramona, a mental health therapist, to lay bare what it’s really like to live with tokophobia and find healing on the other side.

Ramona unpacks her decade-long journey from silent panic and relationship doubts to finally discovering that her fear has a name— and that overcoming it is possible.

Together, they dissect why traditional therapy often falls flat, how body image and control weave through reproductive anxiety, and what it truly means to reclaim power, joy, and self-trust during pregnancy.

Key Discussion Points:

• Ramona’s Hidden Struggle: How a therapist herself spent years secretly battling severe anxiety and panic at the thought of pregnancy — without language for what she was going through.

• Discovery and Diagnosis: The pivotal moment her own therapist unearthed tokophobia, offering instant validation and relief after years of feeling “crazy” and alone.

• Therapy’s Shortcomings: Honest reflections on why common approaches like CBT and exposure therapy didn’t fit — and what finally did.

• Trauma at the Roots: The powerful realisation that deep-seated body image issues and childhood experiences (like the trauma of puberty) were central to her fears.

• Practical Healing Steps: The blend of Head Trash Clearance, trauma-informed therapy, support groups, and body-positive training that transformed her experience.

• Reclaiming Pregnancy: How Ramona shifted from dreading pregnancy to embracing and even enjoying it, building genuine confidence for birth.

• Support Systems That Work: The vital role of specialist support, online communities, and trauma-aware professionals for real, lasting change.

• Advice for Others: Ramona’s top recommendations for anyone suffering with tokophobia — from how to open up, to what kind of help to seek, and why you should never settle for professionals who dismiss you.

• Rethinking Recovery: Understanding healing as a journey of integration — where possibility and self-trust take centre stage over fear.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re paralysed by the thought of pregnancy or birth, or suspect you may have tokophobia (even if you’ve never heard the word before).

• You’re a therapist, partner, or professional trying to better support someone with reproductive anxiety.

• You’ve tried traditional therapy or are sceptical about “just facing your fears” — and need honest talk about what actually works.

• You’re looking for hope, validation, and practical ideas to move forward — not shame or sugar-coating.

• You want to hear from someone who’s lived it: the fear, the relationship strain, the isolation, the healing, and the genuine possibility of overcoming reproductive anxiety.

If you’re searching for clarity, community, or real pathways through fear — you are absolutely in the right place.

Want to dive deeper?

Find out more about the Tokophobia Support Program that Ramona used to heal her tokophobia at Fearless-Birthing.com

Check out the white papers Fear Sells (But It Doesn’t Serve) and The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder, and explore the RAD Responsible™ initiative for trauma-aware storytelling in birth and mental health spaces.

In this groundbreaking episode of Tik-Tokophobia, Alexia and JJ introduce a term you’ve probably never heard before — Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD).

Going far beyond the usual discussions of tokophobia, this episode digs deep into the world of persistent, visceral anxiety around anything related to reproduction.

Alexia and JJ shine a fierce light on why so many women’s experiences are mislabelled, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored — and why having the right language matters.

If you’ve ever felt a hidden panic about pregnancy, birth, or even just being around babies, this episode will help you realise: you are not broken, just unheard — until now.

Key Discussion Points:

• Why “Reproductive Anxiety Disorder”?
  – What RAD is, why it needed a name, and how it’s different from a simple “phobia” of birth.

• Not Just in Your Head:
  – RAD is a full nervous system experience, not just a matter of “thinking differently” about pregnancy or birth.
  – How anxiety around reproduction shows up physically and shapes behaviour — from avoidance all the way to relationship breakdowns.

• The Cost of Misunderstanding and Dismissal:
  – How the lack of language and awareness among health professionals leaves women unsupported.
  – The ripple effects on mental health, fertility journeys, and identity when these fears go unrecognised.

• Trauma Roots and The Life Spectrum:
  – Why trauma isn’t always about birth itself — puberty, menopause, and even our own birth stories can plant seeds of reproductive anxiety.
  – What avoidance looks like in daily life and how it’s often the giveaway.

• Tokophobia vs. RAD:
  – The difference between classic tokophobia and the deeper anxiety profile of RAD.
  – How other conditions like OCD and generalised anxiety can be tangled up with reproductive fears, and why addressing tokophobia can cut through layers of other symptoms.

• Why Naming It Changes Everything:
  – The power of moving RAD “out of the unconscious and into the conscious,” so you can start to heal.
  – The urgent need for research, better care, and new questioning from both professionals and those living with this invisible weight.

• The Path to Healing:
  – Why this kind of anxiety can be healed — and what hope and possibility look like, even if you feel unsure where to start.
  – A call to action for listeners, partners, professionals, and researchers to recognise and respond to RAD.

Who is this episode for?

• Women (and those assigned female at birth) who feel an intense, unexplained dread or avoidance about anything related to pregnancy, childbirth, family planning, or even being around babies and children.

• Anyone who’s ever been told “it’s just fear” or “you’ll get over it” — and is sick of not being understood or supported.

• Those struggling with reproductive decision-making, unexplained infertility, or years of quiet panic around their body’s milestones (puberty, periods, menopause).

• Listeners searching for language, validation, and a roadmap to finally start understanding (and healing) what’s been holding them back.

• Birth professionals, therapists, and anyone interested in women’s health who want to truly “see” and support people experiencing reproductive/birth anxiety.

What might they be looking for?
Hope, clarity, a sense of belonging, and practical avenues to start healing. Most of all: real language, understanding, and evidence that anxiety around reproduction is real, valid, and possible to move beyond.

WANT TO GO DEEPER?
For resources, the white paper “The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder,” and trauma-aware storytelling guidelines, visit fearlessbirthing.com or tiktokphobia.com.

—

If this sounds like your hidden story or someone you care about, this episode will finally give you a language — and a path forward.

Are you ready to go deeper into the real reasons behind tokophobia?

In this honest and eye-opening episode, Alexia and JJ confront one of the most overlooked (and misunderstood) realities for those living with a fear of pregnancy and birth: the trauma of your own birth. Forget everything you’ve been told about where anxiety “comes from”— because this one starts sooner, and runs deeper, than most of us ever realise.

Whether you know your own birth story or not, this episode unpacks why the experience of being born is often the hidden driver behind lifelong tokophobia — shaping everything from mental health to relationships, even before our conscious memories form.

Key discussion points:

• Why the majority of tokophobia cases stem from trauma experienced during your birth — not just the trauma of giving birth as an adult

• JJ’s powerful recollection of learning her own birth story, and the long shadow it cast over her life, creativity, and pregnancy experiences

• Alexia’s personal process of healing birth trauma — without knowing the details of her own birth — and how it was a turning point in overcoming tokophobia

• Making sense of tokophobia symptoms: feeling trapped, out of control, fear of not being “ready”, and why they’re so often rooted in the original birth experience

• How birth trauma impacts not just pregnancy, but identity, relationships, and mental health far beyond childhood

• Breaking the silence: why therapists, health professionals, and all of us need to look beyond childhood to understand reproductive anxiety

• The urgent call to reframe how we talk about birth trauma — so we stop conflating the experience of “giving birth” with “being born”

• Tangible hope: how healing the root of your fear (even if you don’t know your story) can transform your outlook and open up choice

This episode is for you if:

• You’re struggling with an intense, sometimes inexplicable fear of pregnancy or childbirth — even if no one else seems to “get it”

• You’ve felt dismissed by professionals who only look at childhood or adult traumas, and never consider what happened when you were born

• You’re feeling stuck, trapped, or out of control — not just about pregnancy, but in other parts of your life too

• You want to better understand yourself, break long-standing anxiety patterns, or make peace with your reproductive future

• You’re seeking practical hope, real-life experience, and validation that you’re not broken — and there is a way forward

If you’re craving a gentle but fiercely honest look at trauma, healing, and the true origins of tokophobia, this episode is your signpost. Step inside. You are welcome here.

Want more depth?

Explore the white papers, “Fear Sells (But It Doesn’t Serve)” and “The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder,” or check out the RAD Responsible™ initiative for trauma-aware insights and support.

Find resources and join the community at tiktokophobia.com.

In this powerful episode of Tik-Tokophobia, cohost JJ Stenhouse steps into the guest seat and shares her personal journey with tokophobia—the overwhelming fear of pregnancy and childbirth.

Only recognising her tokophobia at age 68, JJ reveals how this hidden anxiety wove itself through her life, shaping her relationships, creativity, and even her sense of self.

The conversation explores the life-altering impact of unrecognised reproductive trauma, the challenges of healing, and what truly shifts when you finally put a name to your fear.

Key discussion points:

• Recognising tokophobia late in life: JJ’s realisation, after years of baffling anxiety, that her challenges with relationships and creativity were rooted in early birth trauma and reproductive anxiety.

• How tokophobia shapes life choices: The impact of tokophobia on relationships, marriage, and the choice (or absence of choice) to have children.

• Creative stifling: Discovering that tokophobia didn’t just stop JJ from having children—it also blocked her ability to “birth” creative projects or bring her ideas into the world.

• The emotional experience of miscarriage: JJ’s experience of intense terror, denial, and then unexpected anger during an early miscarriage, and how this was misunderstood by others (and herself).

• Grieving what never happened: Reflections on how menopause can trigger a fresh wave of grief for those who never had children, even when the decision was never clear-cut.

• Medical dismissal and societal judgement: Revisiting the insensitive responses from medical professionals and the isolation of being childless by circumstance, not always choice.

• Healing and hope: JJ’s approach to overcoming her tokophobia—naming the fear, releasing stored trauma in the body, and seeing real, tangible shifts in her anxiety, creativity, and connection with children.

• The creative renaissance: How finally addressing tokophobia led to a surprising burst of creativity and a deeper sense of safety and connection.

• Practical healing insights: The power of simply naming the issue, the link between body-based anxiety and reproductive trauma, and the role of readiness in personal healing.

Who is this episode for?

This episode is for anyone living with unexplained anxiety around pregnancy, birth, or even creativity — especially if you feel “blocked” in life and can’t quite put your finger on why.

It’s for those struggling to process reproductive trauma, feeling unseen by medical or mental health professionals, or grieving what could have been.

If you suspect you might have tokophobia or reproductive anxiety, or you simply want to understand how deep these fears can run, JJ’s story will offer both insight and hope.

Whether you’re searching for answers, validation, or a way forward, this episode will show you that you’re absolutely not alone — and that healing is possible at any stage of life.

If this resonates, check out our white papers — “Fear Sells (But It Doesn’t Serve)” and “The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder” — and explore our RAD Responsible™ resources for more on safe, empowering storytelling around pregnancy and birth.