Jess's Free download- The CLEAR Method for setting boundaries with Emotionally Immature People

Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience. Take small, powerful steps toward healing and a richer, more meaningful life. Start your journey today! https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

Check out Jess's Book: Managing Overwhelming Parents & In-laws (Without Feeling Like The Bad Guy) https://bit.ly/MyBoundaryGuide

In this episode, we discuss setting boundaries with emotionally immature people, who often react defensively to reasonable requests. Joined by Jess Miller, a licensed marriage and family therapist and creator of Mind Your Boundaries, we explore common patterns of behavior among emotionally immature individuals and how to manage interactions with them. Jess shares her CLEAR method (Communicate value, Limit or boundary, Explain benefit, Assurance, Repeat boundary) for effectively setting boundaries. We also dive into personal examples, including Jess’s own experience with family estrangement, and how understanding emotional limitations can help in maintaining healthier relationships. Tune in to learn actionable techniques for managing difficult family dynamics and fostering emotional growth.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

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Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Therapy in a Nutshell membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

Every therapist upholds the professional and ethical standards required in their role. Knowing what signs to look for can help you protect your mental health and ensure you receive the care you deserve. In this video, we’ll discuss the subtle yellow flags in therapy—small warning signs that something might be off—as well as the more obvious red flags, which may indicate your therapist is not just a poor fit but could be acting unethically. We’ll also cover strategies for deciding if it’s time to change therapists and how to begin that transition smoothly.

By being informed about both the subtle yellow flags and the more glaring red flags, you can better protect yourself and maintain a high standard of care.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

You can learn to face your fears slowly and gently with exposure therapy, it's great for anxiety and PTSD.

Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience. Take small, powerful steps toward healing and a richer, more meaningful life. Start your journey today! https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

Feeling trapped by anxiety, fear, or a phobia? Exposure therapy is one of the most effective ways to break free from the cycle of avoidance and take back control of your life. In this video, we’ll walk you through building an exposure hierarchy—a powerful tool that helps you face your fears one step at a time. Whether you’re dealing with social anxiety, a specific phobia, or generalized fear, creating a hierarchy makes the process manageable and less overwhelming.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience. Take small, powerful steps toward healing and a richer, more meaningful life. Start your journey today! https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

A lot of people who end up with Major Depressive Disorder have no idea why they feel the way they do. Some have experienced trauma or a huge stressor, but a surprising amount of them say something like, “Everything in my life is fine. I have no reason to be depressed. But I just don’t feel happy anymore.”

Here’s my theory: depression happens when tiny things, often unnoticed, add up over time and become overwhelming.

Researchers have explored the brain’s “giving up” circuit, which flips from “This is hard, but I’m going to keep trying” to “This is pointless. I’m going to give up.” When life feels too overwhelming, the nervous system reinforces shutdown and hopelessness.

This is actually great news because if we can manage just a few of these tiny things, we can remove some of the weight fueling our depression, allowing your brain and body’s natural resilience to kick back in. So let’s take a look at the micro habits that add up over time to cause depression.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Learn to Regulate your Emotions: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

Intrusive Thoughts, Overthinking, ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Passengers on the Bus, Negative Thoughts

Have you ever felt like your negative thoughts are running the show? Like no matter how hard you try to push them away, they keep coming back, louder than ever? Maybe you deal with intrusive thoughts that feel terrifying, or you constantly overthink every decision. These thoughts can feel really overwhelming and they can seem to stop you from moving forward in life, from being happy, doing your work, or building relationships. If that sounds like you, then let me teach you an exercise that can help you break free from struggling with intrusive thoughts or overthinking. It’s called the Passengers on the Bus metaphor from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This metaphor was developed by Dr. Steven Hayes, the founder of ACT, and it offers a simple but powerful shift: You are not your thoughts—you are the driver of your life.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience. Take small, powerful steps toward healing and a richer, more meaningful life. Start your journey today! https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

Check out the Therapy in a Nutshell App: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/app

Smartphones often get a bad rap when it comes to mental health, but they can also be powerful tools for emotional well-being when used intentionally. In this guide, we explore some of the best apps for mental health—many of which are free or already on your phone—that can help with stress, anxiety, self-care, and habit-building.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Join Therapy in a Nutshell’s membership and get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&As, and a supportive community for just $27/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience. Take small, powerful steps toward healing and a richer, more meaningful life. Start your journey today! https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

View the Guilt, Shame, Regret Flowchart: Figma Flowchart

Guilt, shame, and regret can either drive growth or trap us in toxic self-condemnation. Guilt says, “I made a mistake,” prompting accountability and repair. Shame, however, distorts this into “I am a mistake,” fueling feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, and isolation. Toxic shame seeps into our thoughts (“I’m broken”), our bodies (hiding, withdrawing), and our actions (people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sabotage).

When we do bear responsibility, we face a choice: hide in shame or take action. Avoidance—blaming, numbing, or labeling ourselves as broken—only fuels more suffering. True healing comes through accountability: acknowledging mistakes, making amends, and learning from the experience.

Breaking free from shame requires shifting from self-condemnation to self-compassion. When we embrace responsibility without collapsing into self-hatred, we build confidence, connection, and a life rooted in integrity.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

So many of us have picked up messaging that emotions are negative or embarrassing, that they need to be controlled, that crying is shameful. We’ve internalized a mental rule that says something like, “I don’t let myself feel so-called “negative” emotions, because that makes me weak.” And then, in trying to not have feelings, we accidentally let them control us.

You can influence your feelings by how you think, how you act, and the choices you make. But if you have a rule that “you have to control your emotions” it doesn’t leave you with many options other than avoidance.

Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell

Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC