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Men's brains are configured very differently when it comes to a response to sex. There are 3 areas to know about - which are over twice the capacity of the female:

The Medial Pre-optic Area (MPOA): Is an area of the Hypothalamus that regulates various physiological and behavioural processes. The MPOA is packed with twice as many neurones and density. Since it has a larger capacity in males, this is why males tend to be more visually stimulated and do more 'objectification'.

The Third Interstitial nucleus of the Anterior Hypothalamus (INAH 3) - the seat of human sexuality - also contains twice as many neurones in males and occupies a greater volume than females, regardless of age.

The Amygdala is also twice as big in males. It is the brain's command and control area. (I call it the 'Smoke alarm in the kitchen which goes off when you burn toast'); the Amygdala detects loss of homeostasis and triggers a 'Fight/Fight/Freeze' protective response in the Limbic brain.

All of these processes are reactive to testosterone. Remember that Testosterone is (on average) 20 times more in males than in females.

Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG) binds and carries/transports sex hormones like Oestrogen, Testosterone and Androgens to the organs where they are needed. Therefore regulating the proportion of sex hormones that are available to the body. Different events (like a disease process) can cause SHBG levels to rise and become too high or too low. Women have 13 times more SHBG than men.

Essentially, a mismatch between males and females (in the working of the brain) during sex. Listen to the rest of the audio to piece together how this all impacts the personality of the sexes during hook ups and arousal.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

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World's first Online Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme.

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationsh

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Alcohol consumption raises women's testosterone levels. Same for men, but with excess, men's levels start to decrease. Not so for women.

Women are not use to the effects of such higher levels of testosterone and so a young woman can become a very different sexual being, because of the effects on her sex drive. That is enhanced if she is near her ovulatory window.

During their ovulatory window, women are more likely to dress more provocatively and flirtatious. They may not be self aware, as it is an unconscious process.

Female anatomy makes them more vulnerable to STIs. The vagina lends itself to bacterial growth and on average, women have a risk increase of 8 times more likelihood of contracting HIV. The risk is 17 times higher during anal sex.

Younger and early years sexual behaviours affect women's future health. The risk of uterine, vaginal and cervical cancer is increased. Minimal or no breast feeding raises the likelihood of longer term ovarian cancer.

(Interestly data. Don't shoot the messenger will you)?

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

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The world's first Online Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Email info@kairos-centre.com

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive Thoughts | Minfulness | Self compassion | Psychoeducation | Intimacy building

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In all your getting, get understanding: Men see female promiscuity as a deal breaker. If a man finds that a woman is not sexually active, he will intuitively feel that she is more likely to be faithful. Sexual integrity and sexual loyalty, is the most valued traits in a women, when a man is considering asking her to marry him.

"Female Choice" and " Paternity Certainty" are significant issues. "Female Choice" is something about the qualities a female is looking for in a long term male partner. Such things like - is he likely to be around, when she is pregnant; carrying the baby and able to hunt and look after them and ensure survival.

"Paternity Certainty" is about men needing to know that the female is trustworthy. She is the only one that will truly know whether the baby she is carrying, is actually his baby. Therefore, he needs to choose someone who is trustworthy and not promiscuous.

So, men categorise females: Are they 'easy' sexually? or are they 'for a good time' only. If they are not 'easy', then they may be categorised in the 'potential marriage partner' category. Most females don't know this dynamic is happening.

After sexual intercourse, a woman's evaluation of a man may go up. That is because of the effects of Dopamine and Oxytocin in her metabolism. She gets lots of those bonding hormones during sex.

So females are more likely bonding, but males are less likely to be bonding in situations where the Sex is 'easy' and/or 'promiscuous'.

Males evaluation of her is likely to be going down within 10 seconds of his ejaculation. The converse may be happening for the female. Her evaluation of him may be going up, due to the effects of the hormones in her body.

Folks, the 'Madonna-Whore Complex' is alive and well.

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The world's first Online Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Email info@kairos-centre.com

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Re

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The younger the age that a female experiences sexual arousal, the higher the socio-sexual index she is going to have. (Socio-sexual index is the amount of casual/'promiscuity' sex that a person has).

The higher the promiscuity at a younger age, the more open the female will be to all sexual things. In the USA the average age of young females exposure to sexual arousal is aged 10 to 13.

Therefore, the arousal template is being set up during that same puberty timeframe. That is a bad time to have that combination. The arousal template is going to potentially seek outlets.

More young females are therefore becoming enmeshed in porn, than in previous generations. Very much because of the early female age exposure to sexual arousal. That means we are likely to have many more female porn & sex addicts, than in the past.

Combine that with the desire by males for casual sex and multiple partners, that sets up an issue for the future. Two practices collide.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive Thoughts | Minfulness | Self compassion | Psychoeducation | Intimacy building

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Gen A and their siblings, listen up. Hear this bit of neurobiology. At puberty, males Androgen levels explode at puberty and between aged 13 to 15. It is 10 to 30 times higher at puberty, than pre-puberty.

In females, Androgen levels (such as Testosterone - and yep males, females also have levels of Testosterone!) - their's only double and so remain much lower than in females. So, a post-puberty male, is a whole different person to who he was pre-puberty, relative to a post-puberty female.

Hence, trying to reason with such males, is now a whole different ball game. (Parents, maybe that explains why you have been pulling your hair out in frustration at this alien stranger living in your house!)

Testosterone is a sex seeking hormone. Estrogen is a sex receptive hormone. Therefore, a big sex difference between the two sexes post-puberty is that, reasoning with a post-puberty female, is probably more likely to succeed, than trying to reason with a post-puberty male.

This is a big deal re Sex Addiction development.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

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- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

In this episode, the audio takes you through matters which could be contained in a Relapse prevention card which you keep with you at all times. This narrative will focus upon what might be included in a Personal Relapse Prevention Plan (PRPP):

• Your identified professional support network - contact email and phone numbers
• Personal/private support network - contact details
• Identified and known list of Triggers and Risky behaviours (both Environmental & Emotional) and plan of action to deal with them at the time
• Identified warning signs which you know to be your typical traits for concealing the warning signs of 'Danger: A trigger'
• Positive, self-endorsing behaviours and activities, in terms of people, places, spaces, routines, events and emotions
• A specific plan to help you do more partner endorsing behaviours
• What does a good life look like for you?
• How can you help others live a 'good life' by demonstrating more Empathy and less Narcissistic behaviours
• Goals for the next 6 months
• A list of 12 Steps support Group times and days, with contact numbers

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

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- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Don't approach your one year (from last 'Acting out) sobriety, as an end to the work. Don't do 'out of sight out of mind'; 'I never want to see that Recovery Programme material again'. Don't do it like that - at the end.

'I can stop reciting my 'Pillars' now. I can stop....I can stop.... I can stop....yipppppeeeeee'

Well - Yes and No - you can stop certain things; but not others.

It is important to keep doing your Rewards & Treats.

It is important to mark anniversary sobriety dates (every year)

It is important to keep your Relapse Prevention Plan reviewed and updated

It is important that you still practice R.U.N

It is important to use your 'Pillars'

It is important to keep a Relapse Prevention card on your phone/wallet/purse with essential contact phone numbers updated

It is important to still subscribe to a Porn Blocker

It is important to 6 monthly review 'Triggers' and how they may have changed

It is important to have a further block of EMDR sessions to address current issues arising

It is important to review your 'Love Language' and how it may have changed

It is important to review your 'Core Emotional Needs' Exercise

It is important to review the 'Couples Recovery Plan' - that you signed and dated

It is important to review your 'Values' and the 'Values Exercise' and any ongoing compromises

It is important to review 'Pinches & Crunches' with your partner

..........to achieve a lifetime of Sobriety.

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessiv

Send us a text

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

You need to applaud yourself on a job well done - to have got this far - at least one year from last Acting out. Now work towards achieving contentment.

Life is a balancing act. On the one hand, you need to keep old habits at bay. Yet, on the other hand, you need to build new meaningful activities, to make life a pleasure. Yes, a pleasure!

You can't jeopardise quality of life because you are watching for Relapse in the rear view mirror. Relapse is real. Maintaining the gain (of sobriety) is necessary work. Relapse is snapping at the eels of sobriety.

Consider creating a Plan of Action to maintain the gain and limit the risk of Relapse. One action plan is to identify 10 High Risk factors. Write them down. Then write down your plan for dealing with each and everyone, when it manifests.

That becomes your Safety Plan for long term sobriety. If you can see the triggers; anticipate them; plan for them; practice the plan - then you are part way there to overcoming them. 'Practice makes perfect!'

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |