What does real healing look like after betrayal—and who walks with you when the shock wears off and the long road begins?

In this episode of The Redeemed Marriage Podcast, Rusty and Heather sit down with Pennye Dees, the woman who stepped into Heather’s life just days after her confession of infidelity. Pennye shares her story, her calling, and why she believes deeply in walking with people patiently, faithfully, and over the long haul.

The conversation explores the earliest days after betrayal, what mattered most spiritually and emotionally, and why true healing requires more than quick fixes. Pennye offers wisdom for betraying spouses who want to do the right thing but feel overwhelmed, as well as for betrayed spouses who are trying to discern whether real heart change is taking place.

Listeners will gain clarity around questions many couples quietly wrestle with: What does true repentance look like beyond words? How can someone tell if a heart is genuinely turning toward Jesus rather than simply seeking relief from consequences? What signs point to lasting transformation instead of temporary behavior change?

The episode also casts vision for the often-overlooked gift of mentoring. Pennye explains why mentors are so critical during seasons of crisis and healing, what they provide that even well-meaning friends or pastors may not, and how to begin seeking that kind of support.

For couples in crisis, in recovery, or simply longing for deeper discipleship and accountability, this episode offers hope, wisdom, and a clear reminder that healing was never meant to be done alone.

In this lighthearted and completely unscripted Christmas episode, Rusty and Heather shake things up with a game that was not planned and definitely not rehearsed. Heather presses play on a Christmas song and without warning, Rusty races to guess the title, and then—on the spot—has to turn that song into real, practical marriage advice. No notes. No preparation. Just quick thinking, honest insight, and a lot of laughter.

What unfolds is a mix of singing, playful pressure, and surprisingly meaningful moments as familiar Christmas songs spark unexpected conversations about love, connection, and what really matters in marriage. The advice isn’t polished or prepackaged—it’s raw, spontaneous, and rooted in real life.

This episode is a reminder that marriage growth doesn’t always have to be heavy to be helpful. Sometimes the best wisdom shows up when guards are down, expectations are low, and joy leads the way. If you’re looking for encouragement, laughs, and a fresh way to think about your marriage during the Christmas season, this one delivers.

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The Christmas season is full—but marriage still matters.

In this episode, Rusty and Heather take a lighter turn and talk about the importance of intentional fun, laughter, and making memories with your spouse, especially during the busy holiday season. When life feels full, connection doesn’t happen by accident—and sometimes the best thing a marriage needs is simply time to enjoy each other again.

They share why creating space for fun dates and shared experiences can strengthen a relationship and highlight their 12 Dates of Christmas resource—simple, meaningful date ideas designed to help couples be intentional and reconnect during the season.

They also introduce a playful resource called Missed Call From Santa, a fun way to surprise a spouse or children with a personalized message that brings laughter and joy into the home.

For couples feeling stretched thin this Christmas, this episode is an invitation to slow down, be intentional, and choose connection—one date, one laugh, and one memory at a time.

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Missed Call From Santa

In this deeply vulnerable Christmas episode, Rusty and Heather revisit their first holiday season after the affair—only four months into the most painful chapter of their marriage. While Christmas is often portrayed as magical, peaceful, and sentimental, their reality was filled with fear, shame, awkward family gatherings, and the heavy tension of trying to celebrate while still grieving what had been lost. They share what it felt like to navigate meaningful holiday moments while carrying heartbreak, and how the pressure to “hold it together for the kids” made everything even more complicated.

Yet woven through the pain is a powerful story of Emmanuel—God with us—showing up in the middle of their brokenness. Rusty and Heather describe how God began the earliest stages of healing during a season that should have felt unbearable, proving that the miracle of Jesus entering a messy world still heals marriages today. They offer encouragement for couples who are simply trying to survive the holidays, reminding listeners that they don’t have to pretend, they don’t have to hide, and they don’t have to wait for the new year to see God move. Hope, healing, and restoration can begin right in the middle of the Christmas season.

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In this follow-up conversation, Rusty and Heather continue their discussion with certified sex therapist Debby Wade as they discuss the real questions couples face when rebuilding intimacy after betrayal. Debby offers clear, compassionate guidance on navigating triggers, creating emotional safety, supporting one another in the healing process, and learning to reconnect without pressure or fear. Her insight helps couples understand what healthy intimacy looks like as trust is restored and hope begins to rise again.

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In this episode, Rusty and Heather welcome certified therapist Debby Wade for an honest and hope-filled conversation about rebuilding intimacy after betrayal. Debby offers wisdom on the questions couples often struggle to voice—navigating triggers, intrusive thoughts, emotional safety, and the slow process of reconnecting after trust has been broken. Her compassionate insight gives couples practical steps for healing and a clearer understanding of how intimacy can be restored in a healthy, honoring way.

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There’s a reason certain questions rise to the surface at 2:00 a.m.—the hour when the house is quiet and the worries feel loudest. One of the questions couples wrestle with most in those restless moments is, “When will my spouse ever change?” It’s a question born from disappointment, discouragement, and the fear that nothing will ever be different.

In this episode, Rusty and Heather gently turn that question in a new direction. Instead of focusing on what a spouse is or isn’t doing, they explore the deeper truth that genuine transformation in a marriage often begins within the heart that is willing to be changed. When a person stops trying to fix or manage their spouse’s growth and instead comes to God with humility, readiness, and expectation, something shifts. A surrendered heart becomes the doorway to peace, clarity, and spiritual growth—even if the circumstances in the marriage haven’t moved yet.

Listeners will hear how preparing one’s own heart creates space for God to work in ways frustration never could. Rusty and Heather describe the difference between waiting for a spouse to become someone new and allowing God to shape one’s own responses, attitudes, and patterns. It’s a hopeful reframe for anyone lying awake at night, exhausted from carrying the weight of change that was never theirs to hold.

There’s hope at 2:00 a.m. And it starts with a simple shift: “God, change me first.”

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We’re continuing our discussion on the questions that keep us awake at 2 a.m.—the ones that every married couple wrestles with at some point, especially those walking through betrayal or trauma.

Last week, Heather opened up about her side of the question, “What’s wrong with me?” This week, Rusty shares his own sleepless nights—the nights filled with questions like, “Why wasn’t I enough?” and “What did I do wrong?”

In this honest conversation, Rusty talks about the haunting thoughts that come when you feel unworthy, unchosen, or powerless to fix what’s been broken. He shares how learning to recognize and replace those lies became one of the most important parts of his personal healing and the redemption of their marriage.

If you’ve ever battled feelings of not being enough—or wondered if your worth could survive what happened—this episode will remind you that shame doesn’t get the final word.

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