Do you ever feel like your teen doesn’t notice – or appreciate – anything you do? Do you wonder if your teen is becoming ungrateful?

You're not imagining it. And you're not alone. But clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen say what looks like ingratitude in teenagers is often something else entirely — and understanding what's actually happening developmentally can change how you respond to it and how you feel about it.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, they explore how gratitude develops during adolescence, why it often appears to disappear during the teen years, and what parents can actually do to nurture it — without forcing it or making it a source of conflict.

Rather than something we either have or don’t have, gratitude is both a feeling and a practice. It’s something that can be cultivated through small, consistent behaviors and perspectives.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• Why teens aren’t necessarily becoming ungrateful—they’re developing their identities and growing independence
• Why feeling less appreciated is a common experience for parents of adolescents
• The difference between gratitude as an emotion and gratitude as a practice
• How our brains are wired to notice problems more easily than positives
• The powerful role of modeling gratitude in parenting
• Simple daily practices that help build gratitude over time
• Why gratitude isn’t about forcing positivity

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — Gratitude: What We Feel and What We Do to Build It

01:38 — The First Day of Spring Perspective

03:22 — Seeing Through a Positive Lens: The Echo Effect

05:42 — How We Feel When Our Teen Points Out Our Mistakes

07:19 — Is My Teen Ungrateful?

08:46 — Teens Aren’t Ungrateful — They’re Growing Up

10:43 — When Teens Grow Apart: Feeling Less Valued as a Parent

12:26 — Reminder: Change Behavior for Yourself, Not for Appreciation

14:40 — Gratitude Can Be Developed Over Time

15:42 — What Gratitude Really Is

16:40 — How Our Brain Works

18:25 — The Power of Gratitude

21:39 — Modeling Gratitude to Teach It

26:16 — Exercise: Taking a Few Seconds to Be Thankful

28:27 — Gratitude Isn’t About Forcing It

We also share a simple exercise that parents can use to intentionally notice small moments of appreciation in everyday life.

Teaching gratitude isn’t about demanding thankfulness—it’s about modeling a way of seeing the world.

If you’re parenting a tween, teen, or college student and wondering how to nurture appreciation without lecturing or forcing it, this episode offers thoughtful, practical guidance.

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Your teen just found out they didn't get in. You're watching them fall apart — and you're not sure whether to say something, give them space, or quietly panic yourself.

This episode is for exactly that moment.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen walk you through how to support your teen through college rejection — and more broadly through any major disappointment — in a way that validates their pain, builds their resilience, and keeps your relationship intact.

You'll learn:

• What to say (and not say) in the first hours after a rejection
• Why pushing perspective too quickly backfires — and what to do instead
• How to support a teen who doesn't want to talk at all
• When sadness after rejection is normal — and when to seek help
• How social media makes college comparison so much harder for teens
• Why community college and alternative pathways are worth an honest conversation
• How to manage your own parental anxiety so it doesn't spill onto your teen
• Why one admissions decision does not define your child's future

Disappointment is not the end of the story. Your teen's path is bigger than one admissions decision.

00:00 — Introduction: Why college rejection hits so hard
00:50 — What teens are actually feeling right now
02:14 — How parents can show up without making it worse
03:34 — Why we don't have to be afraid of pain and suffering
07:04 — How to support a teen who doesn't want to talk
10:11 — The case for a mental health day
12:20 — What's a normal reaction — and when to get help
17:31 — The cultural pressure surrounding college decisions
18:48 — There is more than one path to a great life
21:49 — How social media intensifies the comparison spiral
24:17 — Community college and alternative pathways
26:49 — One moment does not define your teen's future
27:33 — Why teens sometimes need to hear it from someone else
30:50 — Helping your teen accept disappointment as part of life

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What do you do as a parent when there is no solution to offer?

In this deeply meaningful episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen are joined by special guest Dr. Taryn Allen, a clinical psychologist with extensive experience working with children and families facing chronic and terminal illness in at the National institute of Health.

Together, they explore one of the hardest realities of parenting: supporting your child through pain, uncertainty, and suffering when you cannot “fix” what is happening whether that is related to physical illness, emotional pain, or life events.

Dr. Taryn Allen shares powerful clinical insight and practical tools such as:

• Why acknowledgment of pain and suffering is often the most important first step
• How to create a home environment that feels emotionally safe
• The “backpack” metaphor for carrying life’s hard realities
• What it means to “be the buffalo” and lean into the storm rather than run from it
• Letting go of the pressure to end every conversation on a high note
• How to adjust psychological support for kids with chronic or terminal illness

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — When There’s No Solution: The One Step You Can Still Take

02:25 — Adjusting Psychological Support for Chronic or Terminal Illness

08:11 — The First Step: Acknowledgment

09:24 — Be the Buffalo: What It Means

11:36 — Leaning In: How Action Creates Space

13:56 — How to Support a Child or Teen Facing a Difficult Situation

17:46 — Shifting the Frame Away from “An Easy Life”

18:35 — The Wider Path Perspective

21:28 — Supporting Parents Managing High Anxiety in Tough Situations

24:33 — Creating a Safe Home Environment for Hard Conversations

26:41 — It’s Okay to Just Be Present

29:05 — The Backpack Metaphor

31:53 — Letting Go of the Need to End on a High Note

36:00 — Becoming More Comfortable with Discomfort

39:14 — Internal Statements Parents Can Practice

This episode reframes the goal of parenting from creating an “easy life” to helping children build the capacity to walk a wider path — even when it’s painful.

If you are parenting a child navigating serious illness — or simply trying to support your teen through a difficult season — this conversation offers grounded, compassionate, research-informed guidance on how to show up.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stay present.

Watch this episode here on YouTube

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What happens when we are the ones who feel exposed, judged, or embarrassed?

In this deeply relatable episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron shares a personal story about being publicly called out on a Facebook share site — and how that moment triggered embarrassment, fear of judgment, and a strong urge to avoid taking action.

Instead of immediately “doing the right thing,” she noticed something familiar: avoidance.

And that’s where the powerful parallel emerges.

As parents, we often struggle to understand why our teens won’t send the email, return the item, fix the mistake, or address a situation directly. But when we pause and reflect on our own emotional experiences — especially moments of public embarrassment or fear of being judged — we begin to see it differently.

In this episode, Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen explore:

• What embarrassment feels like in adulthood
• The emotional experience of being publicly exposed
• Why avoidance is such a natural response to shame or judgment
• How we may misinterpret our teens’ hesitation or withdrawal
• The question to ask: “What else might be true?”
• How the Opposite Action tool can help both parents and teens move forward

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — What We Think When Our Teens Make a Mistake or Avoid Something

01:13 — Last Episode Recap: The Dog Teeth Cleaning Story

04:16 — The Commitment Made Around the Cleaning Wipes

05:45 — The Message From the Administrator on the FB Share Site

06:21 — When You Feel Exposed: The Emotional Experience

07:47 — The Worry

08:05 — The Appropriate Thing to Do

08:49 — Embarrassment, Fear of Judgment, and Being Denied: Reasons We Avoid Taking Action

10:59 — Understanding Our Teens’ and Tweens’ Emotions Through Our Own Experiences

13:42 — Our Teens Feel the Same Emotions We Do

14:24 — Why Embarrassment Is a Big Deal for Teens

15:48 — Practicing a More Compassionate View Toward Our Teens

16:14 — When Embarrassment Has Real Consequences in Teen Life

17:22 — Acknowledging That We Sometimes Misinterpret Our Kids’ Behavior

18:15 — What Else Might Be True?

19:11 — The Opposite Action Tool Recommendation

Adolescence amplifies emotions. But the core emotional experience? It’s deeply human.

This conversation is an invitation to practice empathy — not by imagining what teens feel, but by recognizing it in ourselves.

Because sometimes the best way to understand our kids… is to remember what it feels like to be human.

To listen to the “Opposite Action” episode that Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron referenced in this episode, click here: Listen here or watch here on YouTube: Watch here

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Parenting is hard. Being human is hard. And sometimes the most important reminder is this: we are all just doing the best we can.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen step away from theory and lean into humanity. Through personal (and very relatable) stories — from accidentally hitting a grocery truck after a distracted moment to signing up for a pet dental subscription only to later learn the dog needed some of his teeth removed — they reflect on what it means to make mistakes, laugh at ourselves, and accept that we don’t always have everything under control.

This conversation isn’t about perfect parenting strategies. It’s about self-compassion, perspective, and remembering that even highly trained psychologists are still human. They encourage us to stop comparing ourselves to others and lean into reality: Life is busy. We get distracted. We misjudge things. We react imperfectly. And none of that means we’re failing.

If you’ve ever felt pressure to hold it all together — at home, at work, or as a parent — this episode offers a powerful reminder: doing the best you can in the moment is enough – even if it means you run into a delivery truck, your dog loses their teeth or you just aren’t sure what the next best step is for your teen! Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. No one has it “all together” all of the time. And when you can, allow yourself to laugh a bit. Life is stressful enough without the parenting comparison trap and pressure for perfection.

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — We Do the Best We Can

02:33 — The Truck Incident – Suzanne hits a delivery truck

06:58 — Feeling Out of Control

07:45 — Sometimes It’s Just Hard Being Human

08:18 — The Pet Teeth-Cleaning Anecdote – Annalise’s dog’s dental decline

10:46 — The Running Late Story

13:19 — The Importance of Laughter

14:06 — Let’s Be Real and Take the Pressure Off

Watch this episode here on YouTube

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Sleep problems are one of the most common—and most stressful—concerns parents bring up when raising tweens and teens. From bedtime battles and nighttime anxiety to insomnia, nightmares, and middle-of-the-night visits to a parent’s bedroom, sleep challenges can leave families exhausted, worried, and unsure of what’s normal.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen welcome back Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale to talk about sleep challenges in tweens and teens, including insomnia, parasomnias, nightmares, and ongoing sleep disruptions. They break down how chronic sleep difficulties can impact emotional regulation, anxiety, depression, and daily functioning—while also explaining what’s developmentally typical and what deserves closer attention.

This conversation also addresses teens seeking comfort in a parent’s bedroom at night, sleep differences in neurodivergent kids, and how parents can respond without increasing shame or fear. Dr. Roth and Dr. Shale offer clear guidance on sleep hygiene, clinical red flags, and how to find qualified behavioral sleep specialists when additional support is needed. This episode offers clarity, reassurance, and practical guidance for parents navigating sleep challenges while supporting their child’s emotional and mental well-being.

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 Why Sleep Matters for Kids and Teens

01:30 What Insomnia Really Is

02:41 How Insomnia Affects Daily Functioning

05:47 How Chronic Sleep Problems Impact Mental Health

06:54 When Teens Still Go to Their Parents’ Bedroom

09:26 How to Address Clinical Sleep Concerns

11:35 When to Seek Medical Advice About Sleep Concerns and Bed Wetting

12:42 Common Parasomnias in Tweens and Teens

14:40 When Should Parents Be Concerned About Behaviors like Sleep Walking or Talking?

16:28 Nightmares During the Middle School Years

18:13 Sleep Hygiene Explained by Two Experts

20:44 Sleep in Neurodivergent Kids (e.g., ADHD, Autism): What It Can Look Like

27:19 How to Find a Behavioral Sleep Specialist

31:26 Book Recommendation: The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep

If your child is struggling with sleep—and you’re feeling unsure about what’s normal or what to do next—this episode provides expert insight, reassurance, and actionable guidance.

Prefer Video? Watch this episode Here on YouTube.

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When kids start saying school feels pointless, parents are often left wondering how to respond without lecturing, minimizing, or making things worse. How we respond in those moments can either shut kids down—or help them re-engage with learning and with us.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore what’s really happening when tweens and teens lose interest in school. They unpack why disengagement is so common during these developmental years, how pressure and “motivational speeches” often backfire, and what actually helps kids feel understood and supported.

Drawing from clinical psychology, developmental science, and years of work with families, Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen walk parents through a clear, compassionate framework for responding when kids say they don’t care about school anymore. They discuss why validation is not the same as agreement, how curiosity opens the door to connection, and how parents can offer perspective and boundaries without escalating conflict.

Together, they explore:

• Why kids disengage from school and learning
• What validation really looks like (and what it’s not)
• How curiosity builds trust and keeps conversations going
• A powerful analogy for understanding effort and growth
• Balancing empathy with realistic expectations
• When it may be time to involve professional support
• How to move from frustration to collaborative problem-solving

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 The Last Thing Kids Want to Hear When School Feels Pointless

01:09 POV: Your Child Is Losing Interest in School

04:57 Step 1: Validate How Your Child Feels

06:35 What Validation Really Means

07:42 How Validation Builds Curiosity and Openness

08:04 Step 2: The Mr. Miyagi Analogy Explained

12:27 Offering a New Perspective on School and Learning

13:31 Step 3: Why Learning Isn’t Supposed to Be Easy

15:39 The Role of Effort and the Satisfaction of Accomplishment

16:44 Finding the Sweet Spot Between Support and Challenge

17:08 What Parents Need to Watch for Along the Way

19:38 When It’s Time to Check In With a Professional

21:03 How to Offer a Gentle Reality Check

22:26 Giving Kids Information to Make Better Decisions

25:42 Next Steps: Moving Into Problem-Solving Together

28:17 Holding Boundaries While Still Being Supportive

If you’re parenting a child or teen who seems checked out, discouraged, or resistant around school—and you’re not sure how to help without damaging your relationship—this episode offers grounded, practical guidance to help you respond with clarity, confidence, and care.

Watch this episode here on YouTube

🔔 Subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast for more science-based conversations on raising confident, resilient tweens, teens, and young adults.

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Strong emotions can powerfully shape how parents and teens react—but following every emotional urge doesn’t always lead to the outcomes we want. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, we discuss a practical, evidence-based way to respond differently when emotions are steering us toward behaviors that actually make things worse.

Clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore the Opposite Action skill, a core concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). They explain how emotions naturally come with action urges—like withdrawing when we feel sad, lashing out when we’re angry, or avoiding situations that trigger anxiety—and why those urges are not always helpful or aligned with our goals.

Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen walk parents through how Opposite Action works, when it’s appropriate to use, and how it can be applied both in parenting moments and in teens’ everyday lives. They discuss how choosing an action that goes against an emotional urge—when that urge isn’t serving us—can reduce emotional intensity over time and support healthier coping, connection, and decision-making.

Together, they explore:

• How emotions drive automatic behaviors
• Why “doing what you feel like doing” can sometimes backfire
• What Opposite Action is and when to use it
• Real-life examples for parents, teens, and families
• How modeling Opposite Action helps teens build emotional skills

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 The Urge That Follows Emotion

00:50 There Are No Quick Fixes

01:21 Simple Tools to Hold Onto in Tough Moments

01:40 What Is the Opposite Action Tool?

03:44 When to Use Opposite Action

04:45 How the Opposite Action Tool Works

06:29 Different Ways to Practice Opposite Action

11:24 Building Awareness in the Moment

14:15 Remembering You Have This Option

15:39 How Opposite Action Builds a Sense of Empowerment

15:54 How Parents Can Share This Tool With Their Kids

16:28 Joining Your Child When They’re Struggling

19:08 Change Happens Over Time

20:15 We Use Opposite Action More Than We Realize

23:04 Our Emotions Don’t Always Have to Be in Charge

If you’re trying to help your teen manage big emotions—or working on your own emotional responses as a parent—this episode offers clear, practical guidance for choosing actions that support growth, regulation, and long-term well-being.

Watch this episode here here on YouTube

🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for science-based parenting guidance on teens, tweens, emotional regulation, and parent-teen communication—hosted by two clinical psychologists and parents.

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