Should parents set a curfew for their teens—or is it better to allow for more flexibility? And if setting a curfew, what is the “right” time for teens to be home? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron unpack one of the most common questions parents face about raising teenagers: when, why, and how to set curfews.

They discuss the benefits of curfews—providing structure, ensuring safety, and helping teens develop responsibility—while also considering the challenges, including power struggles, and the ability for teens to call and text ready to negotiate. The episode also dives into what parents should do when teens repeatedly break curfew, and how to use these moments as opportunities to teach accountability instead of fueling endless confrontations.

Together, Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron explore:

• The crucial elements for raising a teen
• Why curfews can support safety and responsibility
• How to make a curfew work for your family and teen
• Balancing independence with structure as teens grow
• How to handle repeated curfew-breaking
• Using curfews as a tool for communication and care, not control

Here are some highlights from this episode:

• 00:00 – Should Parents Set Curfews for Teens… or Not?
• 03:20 – Building the Foundation of a Healthy Parent–Teen Relationship
• 04:34 – What Curfews Are Really About
• 05:24 – The Key Benefits of Setting Curfews
• 07:41 – Thinking About Curfews as a Helpful Guideline
• 08:48 – When Teens Push Back Against Boundaries
• 10:48 – Do Curfews Actually Work for Every Teen?
• 11:32 – Why Parenting Is Never One-Size-Fits-All
• 12:22 – Practical Tips for Setting a Teen Curfew
• 15:26 – The Importance of Clear Expectations
• 17:07 – Flexibility in Parenting: Loosening or Tightening Limits
• 17:29 – What to Do When Teens Break Curfew
• 21:42 – How to Respond If Curfew Is Broken Repeatedly
• 23:14 – What If Your Teen Refuses to Follow Curfew?
• 26:51 – One Crucial Step to Check Before Setting a Curfew

If you’ve ever questioned whether curfews really work—or worried about how to enforce one without damaging your relationship—this episode will give you practical, research-based strategies to set boundaries while keeping trust and connection strong.

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Setbacks and tough decisions can feel overwhelming when they affect your child’s or teen’s path—but it’s key to bear in mind: they don’t define their future.In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron discuss how parents can navigate challenges without falling into common traps like catastrophizing or comparing their kids to others.

They introduce two powerful concepts—multifinality (different outcomes from the same starting point) and equifinality (different paths leading to similar outcomes)—to help parents reframe setbacks and keep perspective when times feel uncertain. The conversation also highlights why being a steady, supportive presence matters more than rushing in to fix everything.

Together, they consider:

• Why setbacks and struggles don’t dictate your teen’s destiny
• How multifinality and equifinality can reframe your perspective
• The risks of catastrophizing when your teen struggles
• Why comparing your child to others creates unnecessary anxiety
• The importance of being steady and present as a parent
• One thing you can control during tough parenting seasons

Here are some highlights from the episode:

• 00:00 – Painful Experiences Don’t Define Your Teen’s Future
• 00:56 – Why Setbacks Trigger Anxiety for Parents
• 01:47 – Hopeful Aspect of 2 Key Psychological Concepts
• 01:54 – Understanding Multifinality in Teen Development
• 02:16 – Understanding Equifinality in Teen Development
• 03:46 – Why Parents Jump to Conclusions Too Quickly
• 06:08 – Catastrophizing: A Common Trap When Kids Struggle
• 07:06 – Clarifying Your True Role as a Parent
• 07:36 – Being a Calm Presence While Raising Teens
• 10:49 – Why Comparing Your Teen Creates More Harm Than Good
• 12:23 – Why Development Is Never One-Size-Fits-All
• 14:06 – A Practical Tip for Supporting Your Teen Through Struggles
• 15:18 – The One Thing Parents Can Control in Hard Times

If you’ve ever felt anxious about your teen’s setbacks or worried about their long-term path, this episode offers practical insights and reassurance to help you parent with confidence and perspective.

To learn more about the “thinking traps” mentioned in this episode, click here for our podcast on Three Common Thinking Mistakes Parents Make and What to Do Instead: https://share.transistor.fm/s/3a9b4ec3

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Teen depression is a serious matter and understanding the difference between expected mood shifts in adolescence vs. signs of depression is a challenge that many families face—In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron unpack how parents can identify the signs of depression in teens and tweens, and what steps to take to provide meaningful support.

The conversation explores how to distinguish regular ups and downs from more serious struggles using the FID approach, how parents can talk to their children without judgment or pressure, and ways that parents can more strongly encourage getting help while maintaining their relationship. Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron also share practical strategies for behavioral activation, knowing when to seek professional help, and how to balance guidance with giving teens space to express themselves.

Together they explore:

• Key signs that suggest an onset of depression versus expected mood shifts in teens and tweens
• How parents can support without overwhelming
• Concrete ways to create a safe, steady, and supportive home environment
• The importance of self-care for parents supporting a struggling teen
• How to keep communication open and nurturing
• Strategies for taking a stronger approach to help your teen battle depression

Key highlights from this episode:

• 0:00 – A Key Symptom of Depression
• 02:17 – FID: A Strategy to Recognize Depression in Teens & Tweens
• 05:29 – Understanding Anhedonia
• 07:48 – Why Action Creates Motivation, (not the other way around)
• 08:23 – Behavioral Activation to Combat Depression
• 09:38 – Understanding the Difficulty Behind Depression
• 10:52 – Does this Boost or Drain your Teen?
• 11:40- Helping Teens Notice Boosts and Drains for Themselves
• 14:00 – Moving Beyond Curiosity- What To Do Now
• 15:00 – Parents’ Key Role
• 16:42 – Validate Feelings and Encourage Activation (with options)
• 19:04 – Protecting the Parent-Teen Relationship
• 22:41 – Irritability as a Symptom of Depression & the Impact on Parents
• 23:01 – Daily Strategies for Parents’ Self Care

If you’ve ever worried about your teen feeling down, isolated, or depressed, this episode will give you the tools to better understand what’s happening and how to respond with empathy, clarity, and confidence.

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https://www.youtube.com/@TheParentingPair

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