Episodios

  • Episode 50 | Healing from the Emotionally Immature Parent

    Episode 50 | Healing from the Emotionally Immature Parent
    Apr 29 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 50: Healing from the Emotionally Immature ParentIn this milestone 50th episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley opens with a candid observation she’s seen time and time again in her coaching practice: setting boundaries with emotionally immature parents—or in-laws—can feel even more excruciating than setting them with a romantic partner. Why? Because the first place we ever learned about love, safety, and connection was at home. And when the very people who were supposed to nurture our emotional needs couldn’t meet us where we were, it doesn’t just wound our childhoods—it quietly bleeds into how we love, trust, and show up in our adult relationships.Dr. Hensley breaks down the deep psychological impact that growing up with an emotionally stunted parent can have. It can create chronic self-doubt, hypervigilance, an unstable sense of self-worth, and a blueprint of attachment where emotional neglect feels “normal.” Many of us unconsciously seek romantic partners who mirror the emotional patterns we grew up with—partners who are distant, unavailable, or inconsistent—because it’s the only intimacy our nervous system recognizes. Without realizing it, we are often trying to “finish the story” with someone else that was left incomplete by our earliest caregivers.In a deeply personal segment, Sarah and her cohost Raina share their own raw stories: Sarah’s painful experience navigating a relationship with an emotionally immature father, and Raina’s difficult upbringing with a mother who was emotionally unstable due to her own unhealed trauma. They open up about how these early wounds shaped the choices they made in their first romantic relationships—often chasing emotional closeness where it was chronically withheld. They also reflect on how these experiences made them fiercely intentional about how they parent today, choosing to break the cycles of emotional disconnection by offering the attunement and presence they didn’t always receive themselves.But healing from these wounds isn’t just about recognizing the past; it’s about actively choosing to reparent yourself. Dr. Hensley explains that “reparenting” means becoming the steady, loving caregiver to your own inner child—the one who was ignored, invalidated, or left to navigate big emotions alone. Through conscious practices of self-compassion, emotional validation, boundary setting, and nurturing rituals, you can literally rewire your attachment system. Inner child work, Dr. Hensley explains, is about meeting yourself in those abandoned spaces—learning to sit with your unmet needs rather than running from them, and offering yourself the empathy, care, and consistency you deserved all along.If this episode resonates deeply with you—if you recognize yourself in these patterns and you’re ready to stop letting old wounds dictate your present relationships—Dr. Hensley invites you to explore The Love Doc‘s coaching programs and resources. Healing is possible, and it begins with the brave decision to show up for yourself in a way no one else ever could. Rebuilding your emotional foundation through reparenting and inner child work isn’t just transformational—it’s the first step toward the secure, fulfilling love you were always worthy of.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    50 m
  • Episode 49 | Work/Relationship Balance with Special Guest Josee Tremblay, Author of "Us and Yet and Yet"

    Episode 49 | Work/Relationship Balance with Special Guest Josee Tremblay, Author of "Us and Yet and Yet"
    Apr 22 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 49: Work/Relationship Balance with Special Guest: Josee Tremblay, Author of Us and Yet and YetIn this powerful episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher sit down with special guest Josee Tremblay, a mechanical engineer and author of Us and Yet and Yet, to discuss one of the most common but rarely addressed struggles in modern relationships—how to strike a healthy balance between work and intimacy. Josee shares her journey as a woman navigating a male-dominated industry and how her career led her to a deeper understanding of feminine and masculine energies within romantic partnerships. Her personal experiences inspired her to write a book that speaks directly to high-achieving women who feel the strain of “doing it all” and crave a better connection with their partners at home.The conversation dives into how career-driven women—especially those in high-stress, high-performance roles—often find themselves stuck in masculine energy even after they clock out. Josee, Dr. Hensley, and Raina all reflect on how they’ve had to intentionally shift into their feminine energy in their personal lives to create space for their partners to naturally step into their masculine roles. Dr. Hensley explains how this energetic polarity is essential to maintaining desire, harmony, and emotional connection in long-term relationships. The episode highlights the subtle but significant ways that career ambition, daily responsibilities, and over-functioning behaviors can affect the relational dynamic.Josee also brings depth to the conversation by exploring the archetypes she covers in her book, shedding light on how different energy patterns and identities show up in relationships. Whether it’s the Overachiever, the Perfectionist, or the Self-Sacrificing Giver, each archetype holds insight into how we unconsciously operate when under stress or pressure. Dr. Hensley connects this framework to attachment theory, highlighting how dismissive avoidants in particular—whether male or female—struggle the most with balancing work and relational life. She explains that DAs often turn to work, tasks, or hobbies as a way to feel effective, valued, and in control—especially when emotional intimacy feels vulnerable or unsafe. This can manifest in surprising ways, such as a stay-at-home mom who over-schedules the kids to avoid deeper connection with her partner.Throughout the episode, listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own patterns and consider how attachment styles, emotional wounds, and internalized beliefs about productivity impact their relationships. Dr. Hensley emphasizes that healing begins with self-awareness—and that shifting from “doing” to “being” is a powerful act of love, both for ourselves and our partners. Whether you’re a high-powered professional, an entrepreneur, or someone simply juggling the demands of life and love, this conversation will leave you with tangible insights on how to show up more present, connected, and whole in your relationship.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyYou can find Josee Tremblay's book at the link below or on amazon. US and yet and yetBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    53 m
  • Episode 48 | The Vagus Nerve

    Episode 48 | The Vagus Nerve
    Apr 15 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.

    Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

    Episode 48: The Vagus Nerve

    In this powerful and informative episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley unpacks one of the most essential—yet often overlooked—players in our healing journey: the vagus nerve. As a social psychologist and attachment expert, Dr. Hensley explains how the vagus nerve functions as the primary communication superhighway between the brain and body, deeply influencing our emotional regulation, sense of safety, and ability to connect with others. She breaks down the science in an accessible, real-world way—helping listeners understand why a dysregulated nervous system keeps them stuck in survival mode, attracting unhealthy patterns and perpetuating attachment wounds.

    Dr. Hensley dives into the role the vagus nerve plays in attachment and trauma, especially for those with insecure styles like anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. When we’ve experienced relational trauma—whether through emotional neglect, inconsistency, or outright betrayal—our nervous system becomes hypervigilant. The vagus nerve responds by defaulting into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn states, often without us realizing it. That’s why you might feel a “gut instinct” to run or shut down in the presence of intimacy, or why calmness can feel foreign after years of chaos. Dr. Hensley explains how we cannot simply “think” our way into secure attachment—we must regulate our way there, starting with the body.

    Throughout the episode, listeners are guided through practical, research-backed ways to tone and stimulate the vagus nerve. From cold exposure and deep diaphragmatic breathing to humming, prayer, laughter, and safe eye contact—Dr. Hensley outlines exercises that create real shifts in the nervous system over time. She emphasizes that healing is not a linear path of “just letting go” or “getting over it”—it’s a deep reconnection with your body’s felt sense of safety. She also shares how vagal tone is essential in being able to pause, reflect, and choose differently in moments of relational trigger—rather than spiraling into panic, protest, or withdrawal. If you’ve ever wondered why healing feels so hard—or how to finally feel safe in love—this episode is your science-meets-soul roadmap.

    Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

    PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.

    Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching

    Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching

    Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses

    Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

    Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc

    Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

    Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    36 m
  • Episode 47 | The Law of Attraction

    Episode 47 | The Law of Attraction
    Apr 8 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 47: The Law of AttractionIn this soul-stirring episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley dives deep into the often-misunderstood concept of the Law of Attraction—unpacking it not only through the lens of her professional and personal experience, but also through her unwavering faith.Dr. Hensley opens the episode by grounding the conversation in her personal belief: that true, positive attraction begins with God. She welcomes listeners of all beliefs into the discussion, offering a space of inclusion and openness for anyone curious about how the Law of Attraction really works—and how it aligns with both science and faith.The Intersection of Faith and PhysicsDr. Hensley explores how the Law of Attraction is deeply connected to Christianity and even supported by principles in quantum physics. On a quantum level, the human body and mind operate not just as passive observers but as active participants in shaping reality. She explains how, at a cellular level, we must believe wholeheartedly in the reality we want to experience—because that deep, internal conviction is what draws it to us. The energy we emit—through thoughts, feelings, and beliefs—resonates outward and co-creates our lives with God.From a Christian perspective, this energetic alignment mirrors what Scripture teaches: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). Faith, in its truest form, is not passive hoping—it’s believing in what’s unseen as if it’s already done.Rooted in God’s WillThroughout the episode, both Dr. Hensley and her co-host Raina affirm that while the Law of Attraction is a powerful principle, its full strength is only realized when it’s aligned with God’s will. They believe wholeheartedly that God wants good things for your life—and when your desires align with His divine plan, the universe conspires to make them happen.Receiving the BlessingBut attraction isn’t just about thinking positive thoughts—it’s also about being open to receive. Dr. Hensley discusses how we can unknowingly block blessings due to fear, doubt, or a subconscious belief that we’re not worthy. Sometimes, the only thing standing between us and the miracle is our own resistance.The Power of Surrender and PerspectiveA key takeaway from this episode is the transformative power of surrender. True manifestation often comes in the letting go—when we release the need to control outcomes and instead trust in divine timing. Dr. Hensley invites listeners to move from a “What if the worst happens?” mindset to one of Even if.Even if things don’t go the way we planned…Even if we experience loss or heartbreak…Even if we’re in the midst of pain…We are still worthy. Still capable. Still divinely supported.This episode is a beautiful blend of science, spirituality, and psychology, offering encouragement for anyone who wants to attract abundance, love, peace, and purpose into their life—without losing sight of God’s guiding hand.Tune in and learn how to co-create your life with faith, trust, and divine alignment.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    34 m
  • Episode 46 | Meet Our Husbands

    Episode 46 | Meet Our Husbands
    Apr 1 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.

    Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

    Episode 46: Meet Our Husbands

    In this special and heartfelt episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher introduce their listeners to two very important people in their lives—their husbands, Donald and Josh.

    Josh, Raina’s husband, was a self-proclaimed perpetual bachelor. Neither he nor Raina had been married before, and they didn’t tie the knot until they met in their 40s. Donald, Dr. Hensley’s husband, had a different journey—having been married twice before. Despite their contrasting paths, both men had one thing in common: they had grown comfortable with independence and navigating life on their own terms. They both attirbuted to being able to find thier secure attachement through being comfortable being alone.

    During this candid conversation, Donald opens up about how his military service shaped both his struggles and his personal growth. Meanwhile, Josh shares how his experiences out west as a cowboy played a significant role in his emotional development.

    The couples also discuss the unique dynamics of their marriages—how they manage the demands of modern life, complex schedules, and blended families. Dr. Hensley and Donald talk about raising a household of children in what they call a modern-day Brady Bunch scenario, while Raina and Josh reflect on merging their lives, with Josh stepping into a marriage where Raina already had a son.

    This episode gives listeners an intimate glimpse into the real-life relationships of Dr. Hensley and Raina, highlighting the beauty and challenges of love, family, and commitment. They hope that by sharing their personal journeys, listeners will find reassurance that navigating modern relationships isn’t always easy—but through patience, understnading, and showing each other grace marriage can be joyful, inspiring, and the ultimate relationship for personal growth.

    Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

    PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.

    Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching

    Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching

    Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses

    Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

    Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc

    Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

    Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    49 m
  • Episode 45 | The Drop

    Episode 45 | The Drop
    Mar 25 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 45: The DropIn this deeply personal and reflective episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores “The Drop”—the inevitable moments in life when, after reaching great heights, we find ourselves falling back down. Inspired by the song The Drop by Forrest Frank, this episode delves into what it truly means to rise to success, only to be met with unexpected setbacks, challenges, and even betrayals. More importantly, Dr. Hensley unpacks how we handle these moments with humility, grace, and resilience.Dr. Hensley shares her own journey of rising to the top—how success can make it easy to be kind, loving, and open-hearted. But she also reminds listeners that no one is immune to life’s trials, and 2024 tested her in ways she never expected. She opens up about a personal legal battle involving someone who intentionally harmed her family, as well as the devastating news that her mother’s cancer has returned after nearly five years in remission. She speaks candidly about how these experiences deeply affected her and her family, and how easy it would be to let pain turn into bitterness.But Dr. Hensley emphasizes that suffering—while inevitable—does not have to define us. She challenges the common “white-knuckle approach” to hardship, where people try to fight through suffering by suppressing emotions, hardening their hearts, and carrying resentment. This, she explains, only makes the pain worse, as it places unnecessary stress on the nervous system and fuels a cycle of anger and defensiveness.Midway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shares a profound shift in perspective that changed her life:Instead of living in the fear of “What if?”, she learned to embrace the mindset of “Even if.”• What if the worst happens? → Fear, anxiety, and suffering.• Even if the worst happens, I will stay faithful, calm, and gracious.This shift, she explains, allowed her to let go of fear and control, and instead trust that even in hardship, there is purpose, healing, and grace.As the episode closes, Dr. Hensley leaves listeners with a powerful reminder:Yes, suffering is part of life. Yes, the drop can feel unfair and even cruel. But it doesn’t last forever. And more importantly, it shapes us, humbles us, and reminds us of the joy that comes from overcoming challenges with integrity and faith.If you find yourself in a drop—whether it’s personal loss, betrayal, or a sudden setback—you are not alone. Healing is possible, and Dr. Hensley would be honored to be a resource in your journey.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating hardship and seeking a faith-driven, compassionate approach to resilience.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    29 m
  • Episode 44 | How to Show Up as the Best Version of Your Most Authentic Self

    Episode 44 | How to Show Up as the Best Version of Your Most Authentic Self
    Mar 18 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.

    Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

    Episode 44: – Showing Up as the Best Version of Your Most Authentic Self

    In this episode, Dr. Hensley explores what it truly means to be authentic—what authenticity is, what it is not, and how to cultivate it. She emphasizes that before we can fully show up as our authentic selves, we must first confront and understand our shadow self and suppressed traits.

    Dr. Hensley explains how our ability to be authentic starts with the messages we receive from caregivers in childhood. From a young age, we are taught which emotions and traits are acceptable and which should be hidden or suppressed. These early lessons shape how we navigate relationships and self-expression as adults.

    Next, she delves into how different insecure attachment styles suppress certain emotions, impacting their ability to be authentic, sometimes leading to poor relationship patterns. A major part of healing involves recognizing these suppressed traits without shame and allowing oneself to express them freely.

    Faith plays a significant role in this process, and Dr. Hensley shares her personal struggles with expressing certain traits. She opens up about how God’s grace and mercy have helped her work through feelings of shame and embrace her true self.

    A key highlight of this episode is the perpetual people-pleaser, who struggles the most with authenticity. People-pleasers often self-abandon to maintain peace, suppressing their true needs and emotions. Dr. Hensley explains that the foundation of authenticity lies in self-trust and building a strong relationship with oneself.

    Toward the end, she discusses how boundaries are essential for authenticity. She shares a real-life example from her marriage, illustrating how she has learned to embrace her authentic self without guilt or fear.

    This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling to show up as their authentic self. If you’re ready to step into authenticity, Dr. Hensley’s services can guide you on this journey.
    Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active)

    Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media.

    PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program.

    Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coaching

    Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual Coaching

    Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/courses

    Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

    Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedoc

    Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

    Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    33 m
  • Episode 43 | If They Don't Want to be Kept, Don't Keep Em

    Episode 43 | If They Don't Want to be Kept, Don't Keep Em
    Mar 11 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.In Episode 43 of “The Love Doc” podcast, titled “If They Don’t Want to Be Kept, Don’t Keep ’Em,” Dr. Hensley delves into the common question she receives from clients: “How do I get my partner to [fill in the blank]?” She emphasizes that attempting to change a partner is futile and that true emotional security comes from recognizing that the only person one can change is oneself.Key Discussion Points:1. Losing Oneself in the Effort to Change a Partner:She warns against the dangers of contorting oneself to induce change in a partner, often leading to a loss of personal identity and autonomy. This behavior can result in emotional exhaustion and dissatisfaction.2. The Fallacy of Loving Someone Enough to Change Them:Dr. Hensley addresses the misconception that one can love someone into changing. She asserts that change must come from within an individual who is ready and willing; external pressure is ineffective and can be detrimental.3. Coercion vs. Genuine Expression of Love:Attempting to force or manipulate a partner into meeting one’s needs is not a true expression of love. Authentic love respects autonomy and encourages voluntary, mutual effort in the relationship.4. Recognizing When a Partner Is Not Capable of Commitment:Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of acknowledging when a partner consistently demonstrates an inability or unwillingness to commit. Persisting in such situations leads to frustration and hinders personal growth.Subconscious Manipulation and Emotional Exhaustion:The episode delves into the subconscious manipulation involved in trying to retain a partner who is unwilling or unable to meet one’s needs. This dynamic leads to emotional exhaustion and disrupts the nervous system, fostering dysfunction and instability in the relationship.Attachment Styles and the Push-Pull Dynamic:Dr. Hensley explores attachment styles, particularly the fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant pairings, where push-pull dynamics are prevalent:• Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Characterized by a desire for intimacy coupled with a fear of getting hurt, leading to ambivalence and mistrust in relationships.• Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Marked by a preference for independence and discomfort with closeness, resulting in emotional distance and a tendency to withdraw from partners.When individuals with these attachment styles pair together, a cyclical pattern of pursuing and distancing ensues, creating instability and dissatisfaction.Advice for Breaking the Cycle:Towards the end of the episode, Dr. Hensley offers guidance for those trapped in unfulfilling dynamics:• Toxic Hope: Recognize and release the unrealistic expectation that a partner will change, which perpetuates unhealthy attachment and prolongs suffering.• Radical Acceptance: Embrace the reality of the situation without resistance, acknowledging that one cannot control or change another’s behavior.These concepts and more are elaborated upon in her new breakup course (now live and ready for purchse), designed to help individuals cultivate inner safety and trust in their decision-making, empowering them to leave relationships that do not serve their well-being.Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active) Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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